Tuesday, October 28, 2008
So now, I'd like to call your attention to the photo above. This photo, God help me; is actually a picture of my feet on our last camping trip (Columbus Day weekend.) "And the chorus gasped!!" And by the chorus I mean ANYONE who knew me prior to my first camping trip in June 08'. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. In my day; and by my day I mean the 80's, 90's and heck - present day; I'd like to think (barring this faux pas;) I was quite the good dresser. Some might even say JAPPY; OK; yes, some did say JAPPY. But as I liked to say back in the day (College, mostly) I had JAPPY clothes but not a JAPPY attitude. And just as a refresher, for those of you who do not remember or are not familiar with the term JAPPY - it is a derivative of JAP - Jewish, American Princess.
OK, so I'm sure you must be wondering (because HELL, I am) what in the world would possess me to wear socks with these flip fops. And the answer is.... The Big Guy, decided to wear my Hot Pink Crocs, and it was cold. Necessity was the mother of invention and hey, it worked. My feet were comfy (and warm.) I was so appalled by myself, and the fact that I even considered this footwear, that I HAD to take a picture to share with you; because you all know how much I LOVE making an ASS out of myself in public. Rest assured that I did remove the socks in the car, BEFORE we went into the local Sam's club. God knows, I wouldn't want anyone in the real world to see me attired like this. Luis on the other hand planned to wear my Hot Pink Crocs into Sam's until I mentioned what a real man he was for doing so; and he thought better of it and decided to trade back with me. Yes of course ALL of this means that Luis and I can share shoes; just yet another pathetic part of my life - The curse of the extraordinarily, long feet. (Yes, I know - at least I have feet...) Too bad The Big Guy isn't a cross dresser; then I might actually get to wear some cute shoes. And the crowd just gasped again "Did she say - Too bad her husband isn't a cross dresser?" In theory people, in theory - it's too bad. I'm actually VERY thankful that he is the lovable, Hunky, Big Guy that he is. We had a GREAT camping trip with the Kalka's. That would be Michelle ( The other day I did hear her trying to convince her husband to change his last name to hers in stead of her becoming legally) K's family. (God I crack myself up sometimes.) We went to Lake Pleasant; which is about 35 minutes from my house; but it was PERFECT. We saved on gas; it was clean (that's right, I said clean.) It was rocky, as you can tell from the picture, so we were not NEARLY as dirty as when we camped up north. We did trade in some scenery for some cleanliness; but I'm all good with that. We're talking flush toilets people; and no one had to hold the door open so you didn't pass out from the stench. True the camp host could have done a little better job making sure the flush toilets flushed at all times - but I am NOT complaining.
We relaxed, we played Bingo, we made smores - Life was good; until...
I heard my cell phone ringing at about 315am on Monday morning. It was all the way across the tent, and by the time I realized what it was - it stopped. But then, an hour later it rang again "Zip a dee doo dah", Zip a dee ay" I heard; and realized it was the alarm. I got up to turn it off, and I heard something outside our tent. I was FROZEN with fear. I said "Luis, honey, there's someone outside our tent; going through our stuff." And then what I heard, astonished me, It was a loud voice, and it said "Go!" And then it said "Hey, that's ours, leave it alone!" And it took me a second to realize that those sentences had been uttered by my husband. I was shocked. Not because he said them; but because he said them in a deep, white guy voice. White guy? What happened to my "Ricky Ricardo?" I had never heard him sound like this before. I also never saw him get up so quickly before. Usually it takes an act of Congress to wake this man up. Anyway, he started looking outside the windows of our tent. I was SCARED; truly SCARED and then he said...
"It's a skunk. A BIG skunk." Whew- was I relieved. Partly because it wasn't a person rifling through our stuff; and partly because there WAS something out there; so I didn't look like a complete, raving, lunatic.
Just as I never would have thought that I would EVER put my feet into an ensemble such as the one pictured above; I never thought that I would like camping. BUT I have to say it - I LOVE IT!! I LOVE the quiet. I Love the fresh air. I LOVE being with my family; uninterrupted by the TV, or errands and I love getting back to basics with my family and friends - cooking on the fire, and playing games, making smores (Yes, I know that's the second time I've mentioned them- the smores that is - notice no weight loss reported in this blog - hahaha) For me it was heaven. I would have stayed longer if we could have. I know that this confession is a shocker to my Oldies but Goodies; and by Oldies but Goodies I mean my friends; but hey, the times they are a changing and I'm changing with them.
I wish my wonderful, Hot Pink Croc wearing, husband the happiest 38th birthday EVER
Queen of EVERYTHING
Friday, October 24, 2008
If you can't see the video above, click here but be patient because it will take a minute or so to load; but it's DEFINITELY worth the wait.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
my "Guilty Pleasure."
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Rach and I were really enjoying the show (and if you have yet to see it, I totally recommend it; but the point is, Debra Messing's character is a writer.) Anyway, she had gone to a writing workshop and the teacher told her that he thought he knew of the perfect job for her, as there was a magazine that was looking for an "Observational Humorist." Well, I immediately looked at Rachel, and said "THAT'S Me." To which she replied "Yes it is." So there we have it. I now have a direction; so all of you potential publishers out there - look no further, here I am ... YOUR Observational HUMORIST.
Now what would a weekend be for Rachel and I if we didn't scrapbook at some point? So of course we went to a crop (scrapbooking get together for all of you non-scrappers) at Michelle (I heard her husband giving her a hard time the other day because she still hadn't become legally) K's house. We were having a fabulous time, enjoying the DELICIOUS chili that she had made, as well as the Cheese "crack;" (don't even ask) and the yummy pumpkin muffins with cream cheese frosting (Yes, I'm still friggin going to the gym - don't let the menu fool you;) and somebody brought up the show "17 Kids and Counting." OK, now for those of you who have NO IDEA what I'm talking about, let me explain. Michelle & Jim Bob (Yes, I said Jim Bob) Duggar reside in Arkansas with their 17 natural born children, and she is pregnant AGAIN.
This family has had several specials on PBS which is how I knew about them to begin with. I think I actually saw them first on "13 and Pregnant again," (which I thought was going to be something altogether different than what it was;) but out of sheer curiosity you just HAVE to watch it; and NOW they have their own show on TLC. OK, so if having 17 kids and one on the way, doesn't make you DIFFERENT enough. Let me tell you that ALL of their kids names start with the letter "J" not that there's anything wrong with that; it's just one of their little endearing quirks. They are all home schooled, they watch one hour of TV a month and they have minimal (supervised) use of the Internet. They travel in a tour bus with 15 beds; and they're basically your modern day freak show. I say this because Michelle and Jim Bob seem to have capitalized on the oddity of their family and you can now see them all over the place. The Today show, The Arkansas Peabody Hotel for the duck parade, Branson, TLC etc. etc. OK, so while we were discussing the Duggar's I felt compelled to share something that I had "OBSERVED" when I was watching their show the other night. So get this. As I told you, they point out in the opening of their show, that they watch VERY LITTLE TV; and in the episode the other night, they had another family (16 kids with one on the way) visiting them for 2 weeks. So Pa Duggar decides it would be fun for them to all go play paintball. They divide into two humongous teams, and run off, and all of a sudden I hear one of the little boys say (in a pretty authentic "Tony Montana" accent) "Say hello to my little friend." "Say hello to my little friend..." Did I just hear that right? I couldn't believe it. I waited, and watched with baited breath to find out if it was ACTUALLY one of the little Duggar boys who said it, or one of the visitor kids, but NO, low and behold, it was said by a Duggar. Hmm, 1 hour of TV a month my ass. How in the world would this kid (who could not have been more than 10) think to say that, and with that accent, if he had never seen "Scarface?" (one of the most violent movies of our time.) Hmm, something smells rotten in Arkansas. This is just about as suspicious as Sarah Palin. Well, after sharing my little Duggar tale, I KNEW that this was the PERFECT blog for an OBSERVATIONAL HUMORIST. I just don't think I can let this go. So Duggars; AND THE REST OF THE WORLD - I'm puitting you on notice. You've now been warned - Paige Ramos (Queen of EVERYTHING) Observational Humorist; is ON THE JOB!
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Friday, October 3, 2008
In my honest opinion, Sarah Palin did well for HER in as much as she didn’t screw up. So if that that was all that SHE had to do to be viewed as doing well - her bar was set REALLY low. And of course that begs the question: Is our only expectation of a VP, that they DON'T SCREW UP? LOL That CERTAINLY was NOT the only expectation for Joe Biden last night and aren't both candidates supposed to be held to the same standards?
Although all politicians have their own agenda none have ever made this is clear as does Sarah Palin. She didn’t answer most of the questions as they were asked and when Joe Biden tried to point that out, she VERY arrogantly made a point of saying that she "might not answer his questions or the moderators questions;" she just wants to speak to the American people and let them know who she really is and what she's about. OK, well she had the chance to do that before; it was called the Republican convention. Last night it was called a DEBATE. I mean isn’t that the point of a debate; to answer questions? Otherwise if you're just talking about what you want to talk about, it's called a speech and this was not supposed to be a speech! She was supposed to answer the questions. One of the questions that she avoided answering was about the Achilles heel. She averted the question and again talked about what she wanted to talk about. Biden; however, made SURE to answer the question and I thought he did so very well.
Here’s her game as I see it. She wants Ma & Pa America to think that she relates to them, she’s one of them, she get down and dirty with them; oh she’s gonna help them, she’s gonna fight for them, and all her stories about soccer moms, and her down home speak is supposed to make you relate to her; BUT the truth of the matter is, that once she’s in office, she’s not going to be talking to us. Excuse me, but how often does the VP give a speech to the people or have any thing to do with THE PEOPLE? She’s going to be talking to Washington; and people in Washington DON’T talk like that. Nor do the world leaders that she’ll have to meet with to discuss foreign policy. All, she did was memorize some facts and numbers, but they were the same #’s and false facts that McCain tried to use in his debate and Obama disputed them when he tried to use them, and proclaimed them to be false.
Sarah Palin does not have relevant experience for THIS job and Joe Biden does. How can she oversee the Senate when she has never even been to the Senate? Biden on the other hand has been IN THE SENATE for 25 years. She is also looking for more power in the Senate (just like Cheney) and that is EXACTLY what SHE said. "Just like Cheney." Anyone who likens themselves to Cheney – well, there’s another red flag right there. Biden explained that the only job the VP has in the Seante is to breaka tie vote if their is one. But Sarah Palin sees the Senate as a way for her to have MORE influence. She will not just be a tie breaking vote if she has he way; she'll be in control.
Gov. Palin is a narrow minded, puppet. She rehearsed the lines they fed her at Camp McCain in Sedona, and then when she got to the Debate (NOT speech) she was unable to answer any questions that she hadn't rehearsed; which is exactly why she can't get through an interview without showing the world what a moron she is. Is this what we want, a Vice President who can't think on her feet? Let's face it, she may be the Greatest Mayor that meth filled Wasilla has ever seen; heck, she may even be a good Governor if you don't mind a self-righteous, right to lifer who blames sexual abuse victims for their attacks and forces her knocked up 17 year old daughter to marry the self proclaimed Red Neck, Hockey player who got her that way AFTER he listed on his MySpace page that he DIDN'T WANT CHILDREN. (Guess he didn't until the Republican party told him that he did...)
Bottom line - Sarah Palin is a DANGEROUS woman; because ignorance and intolerance are DANGEROUS.
I urge you to vote Obama / Biden on November 4th and do all that you can do to encourage others; just like I am trying to encourage you. Our future depends on it.
Till next time...