Only Me

Last night my kids and I went over to a friend's house. I won't say which friend because I know that she feels TERRIBLE about what I am about to tell you; but it is a crucial part of my story so it must be told.
The other day my girls got these new flip flops at Old Navy. They were on clearance; and I am Queen of Bargains, so we couldn't resist. They were like the platform flip flops and they had a cute jeweled flower thingy by the toe; and my girls just thought they were FABULOUS. I had my reservations, because being MY daughters, they have a proclivity for clumsiness and this just seemed like an accident waiting to happen; but nonetheless we bought the flip flops.

Now back at my friend's house, we all left our shoes by the door as we are accustomed to doing, and we went upstairs; but her dog didn't, and she decided to make a meal out of one of my older daughter's flip flops. As previously stated, my friend could not have felt worse. I assured her several times that it was no big deal, but she insisted on paying me for them so that I could buy a new pair. I waited till after dinner to break the news to my daughter. I tired to be lighthearted and funny about it; but my daughter did not take the news of the demolished flip flop well. She's not usually a crier, but this girl was sobbing and heaving and I don't know if I felt worse for her or my friend because I knew this just added to her unnecessary guilt.
I promised my daughter that even if I had to go to multiple Old Navy's to find her a pair (remember, they were on clearance;) I would. My friend then insisted on paying me almost double what they cost; just in case I needed to drive to more than one Old Navy.

OK, so I am a runner; pick your jaws up off the floor people who know me, I don't mean runner in the sense that would be good for me, like one who runs for exercise, I'm a runner as in I run all over the place for like errands and stuff. I am Queen of Returns; I don't even want to tell you things I have returned because you may have been the unlucky soul to have bought the pair of ballet shoes that my daughter peed on and I took back; but you get the point. Anyway, I like to get as much done in one day as possible; I just Go, Go, Go. My husband hates that by the way; 2 errands a day and he's spent. But I mention this because you need to understand my schedule for today and how it was not unusual for me AT ALL.

So upon leaving the house around 1030 - I think; we headed off (me and my 3 kids) to the first Old Navy stop. Nope, no flip flops in her size. I then offered, "well, how bout if we try Payless; because they may have those Hello Kitty flip flops that you wanted and you could get those instead." She agreed. But alas, no such luck. We then went on to Girly Girlz to buy a present for her classmate whose party was at 2. From there we drove out to Super Target which was a good 15 minutes from where we were (tons of construction too - woohoo!) We went to Super Target because 2 weeks ago I saw these pink and black cleats and I thought they would be adorable for my girls for soccer; but I didn't know if our league was going to let my little one play so I wanted to hold off on buying any until I went to registration. I went to registration on Saturday morning; and so far it seems that they are going to let her play, so I was anxious to buy the cleats before they sold out. OK, so the girls try them on, we're about to put them in the cart; but first I turn one over and look at the bottom and think to myself these don't look the same as the cleats from last year. Then upon looking more closely at the box, I notice that it said "baseball cleats." Way to go Queen!! Now I get to break the news that the cleats I had talked up, and drove out there especially for; could not be purchased. I was batting a thousand - maybe I needed the baseball cleats - da da don ching (that was like the sound of cymbals crshing in case you didn't figure it out.)
Moving right along... So now we are off to Old Navy # 2. Mind you, it was NO WHERE near where I was and I was unaware of a shortcut at the time, so it took me a good 25 minutes to get there; and you got it - no flip flops. There was a Payless in the same plaza so we tried there for Hello Kitty, and she actually found a cute pair of sandal flip flops that were marked down to $4, same price as the ones I was trying to replace - Perfect; but it's BOGO at Payless so of course I wanted to find another item. I knew that I was in need of new flip flops, so I started looking at something for me; which is no easy task with my size 12 feet that actually seemed dare I say it, to have gotten a tad bigger. So I slipped a flip flop off, tried something on, no dice, a little too close for comfort, so I tried again, same deal. I was ready to head off to guy's flip flops when I saw a cute pair on the size 12 women's shelf. I tried one on, then I went to try the other, and OH MY GOD, I looked down and this whole time I had been out running my ass off in 2 different flip flops. Oh my god, who does this? What kind of moron am I? Go ahead, laugh, I did, Rachel did, because I was on the phone with her when I made this discovery. I mean oh my god; this kind of thing is cute when a kid chooses to do it and they maybe have one pink and one blue or something like that, but yah; I had one black sprarkly flip flop (which even my friends dog passed over because it was in such crappy shape) and then my other flip flop was brown and pink with a bit more height to it then my black sparkly one. You get the picture, there was NO WAY that I could pass this off as a fashion statement.
WOW! How embarrassing. SO figure I'd been to Old Navy, Payless, Girly Girls, Target, Old Navy and Payless all with this wonderful shoe situation. How my kids never noticed is beyond me, because they are my biggest critics and notice everything.
So I bought my new flip flops and called my husband on the way to the birthday party; and his words were ones I'm not unfamiliar with; "ONLY YOU."
Once we made it home, I showed him the flip flops and he wanted to make sure that I hadn't worn them to the party. I said "no," but then he needed the run down of where I'd worn them because he thought I should steer clear of those places or at least he wanted to. We were getting ready to go to Sprouts, so he asked, "You didn't wear them to Sprouts did you?" I said "No;" So he agreed to go there with me. My younger daughter asked me to wear the again, but I thought better of it and said "NO."
I'm telling you; I really am my own worst enemy; but really, say it with me "WHO COULD MAKE THIS STUFF UP?"
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

I'm Collecting Lisa's...

Disclaimer: I know that it has been FOREVER since I wrote a blog, and now that my kids are back to school and I’m working from home at least 3 days a week; I am dedicating myself to more blog, more blog, more blog. I do have LOTS and LOTS in store for you so PLEASE stay tuned; but for today, I’m going to ease you back into the ride slowly, with this little anecdote…

Back in the day, the day being when I was single and dating; almost every guy I met seemed to be named Rob. It was kinda nice when dating more than one guy because this way I didn't stand the risk of calling a guy by the wrong name; but it did get a little confusing when they called. Well, now that I have no Rob's in my life, it seems that I am collecting friends named Lisa.
On Saturday night I was going scrapbooking and my husband asked me who was going to be there. I replied, “Michelle, Jenny, Mari, Lori, Lisa, Lisa and Lesa.” Believe it or not I have one more friend named Lisa, but she wasn’t there that night. Currently we refer to the Lisa’s by their last Initials, so at least for scrapbooking purposes we have Lisa B, Lisa D and Lesa G of course all the last initials have to rhyme as well, it’s not like we could have Lisa R, Lisa S and Lisa B. No, that just wouldn't do.

Lisa B works for Honeywell and she has an ebay jewelry business called Fancy Treasures you should check it out.
Lisa D is an HR Manager for Bashas and she is the author of the Quest books. Visit Questbooks.com for more info if you are interested in fantasy fiction – not just any type of fantasy you perverts, it’s like other dimension kinda fantasy.
Lesa G is the team services Manager for the Phoenix Coyotes and the local lacrosse team as well but good friend that I am I forget the name of the team.
Lisa M, I know from when my son went to Gymboree and currently she is a student.
Like the nice, shameless plugs for my friends? Now, back to my story...

Well, I was talking to Tiffany the other day and she asked me who had been at scrapbooking. I ran down the list and identified each Lisa for her, as she also has a hard time keeping them straight. Most people do. I told her that I was thinking of just giving them other names, like the Vietnamese nail ladies do. It seems that they have all chosen to call themselves Tina or Tammy or Kim. But alas, we have a Tina in our group as well; so I can’t go that route. But then it dawned on me, I think we should call the Lisa’s by the Vietnamese names that the nail ladies aren’t using. So the next time anyone asks who was at scrapbooking I can just say, Michelle, Jenny, Mari, Tiffany, Lam, Mai, Nam Ha and Tuyen. Yes, I did my research and those are actual Vietnamese names. I thought of calling one Phuo.ng because it means Phoenix, but it would just be too hard to pronounce and we’d wind up having to refer to that one as Tina.
Till next time…
Queen of EVERYTHING