Saturday, March 31, 2007

Humanity is alive and well

I'll admit that I am prone to complain a lot. I'd like to think that it's not so much, like poor me kinda stuff (that's usually not my style;) but I complain about whatever I consider to be injustices, ie: The Deal or No Deal Situation, or the uprising of the mediocre etc. Maybe they're not so much complaints as gripes; but anyway, what I want to get at is, as much as I can complain or gripe, I definitely take great pleasure in discussing what is good and right in the world when I have occasion to witness it.

The other day my friend Tiffany suffered a terrible tragedy when her 7 year old nephew accidentally shot himself in the eye with a pellet gun that he found in his garage. Tiffany's nephew was rushed to the ER, flown to the closest pediatric hospital and underwent surgery; but sadly, he did not make it.
Tiffany was devastated as ANYONE would be; and she planned to fly to Iowa to be with her sister, but the last minute airfare was not cheap; $600.00
Our friend Kara sent an email to all of their mutual friends as well as her relatives and Tiff's neighbors. Kara wrote of the tragedy and advised that she would be collecting contributions towards Tiffany's airfare; if anyone felt that they wanted to help out.

Tiffany is the type of person who is always there when you need her. Last year my son had been in the hospital for a few days because he was in asthmatic distress; and as soon as Tiffany heard about my sons hospitalization (from Kara,) she called to see what she could do. I hadn't had anything to eat for dinner and Tiffany offered to drive up late at night to bring me something to eat; she only lived 45 minutes from the hospital. I declined- I told her that I was sure that I could live off of my body fat for one night; but she then insisted that she would be there the next morning, no matter what I had to say about it. Tiffany showed up with Starbuck's and a scrapbooking magazine for me, a balloon and some coloring books for my son and some various other treats, if my memory serves me correctly - that's just the type of person that Tiffany is; and I could go on and on.

Since Tiffany has been such a good friend to me, of course I wanted to help her; but just one day after my $840 dentist bill, I didn't have much to contribute. I spoke with my husband and we planned to contribute $25 since our finances were so tight. I was trying to figure out what else I could do to help Tiffany so I decided to email everyone that Kara didn't know; like women that Tiffany and I scrapbook with and other friends of mine who have met Tiff.
I forwarded Kara's email with an introduction that explained "although you might not know Tiffany very well, I thought you would want to know about the tragedy that she has experienced." And then it happened... Women who have only met Tiffany a couple of times started contacting me to tell me that they wanted to contribute. Jenny and Lisa B and Lesa G and my friend Michelle K who hasn't even seen or spoken to Tiffany in over a year wanted to contribute, and my friend Rachel who lives in Santa Monica and comes in a couple of times a year, wanted to contribute; and my friend Jackie, who has been undergoing her own tragedies day in and day out, wanted to contribute and then the one that brought me to tears; Jackie's mother wanted to contribute. Now Jackie has become one of my closest friends and we spend a lot of time together, but I haven't even met her mom yet, so needless to say neither has Tiffany - and here was Jackie's mom giving a $50 contribution to a woman she never met... People can be GOOD!! People can pitch in when others are down because they recognize that this tragedy could have just as easily happened to them or someone that they are close to; or they recognize that there is pain and suffering in life and sometimes you just need to help because it is the right thing to do.
In a world where we often see the worst sides of people, it is so unexpected and delightful when people show you just how good we CAN BE to each other. People can AMAZE you; but it is kinda sad that generosity and compassion would be causes for amazement. Nonetheless, I was amazed and thankfully so. I was overwhelmed by the kindness of strangers and so thankful that we were all able to come together and help make things a little easier for Tiffany because I know that she would have been one of the first ones to do the same for someone else.
Certainly I am not the Queen of, oh what's that word? Like when someone of importance bestows you with a compliment? Well you know what I mean, it's not like my praise is going to get you into heaven or get you a Nobel peace prize, or really even matters, but I'll give it anyway - accolades to all of you who showed that humanity is alive and well.
Thank you so much for taking the time to care.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Dentalphobia

Yesterday was very traumatic for me; and; no, it wasn't because of the Idol results show. LOL
At 8 a.m. my 5 year old daughter had an appointment at the Pediatric dentist. She had gone for her first dental check up in December; and we were almost out the door with a clean bill of health, when the dentist said "bad news, the x-ray's just came back and she has several cavities." I asked if there was any way to fill the cavities without needing a shot and he said "no." I explained that this would be a big problem because she has a terrible fear of shots; she cries at the mere mention of the word - so he referred me to a pediatric dentist who would have other options available, such as nitrous or sedation.
OK, so being the Queen of Dentalphobics (I don't know if that's a real word or not, but I have an awful fear/anxiety about going to the dentist; so it sounds real to me.) Anyway being the Queen of Dentalphobics, I did what any mom (who's not in their right mind;) would do and totally projected my fear by procrastinating to call and make her appointment. I finally forced myself to call on Tuesday and I asked the woman how much it would cost and she said that they couldn't know that until they examined her. I explained that she'd already been examined and that my insurance wouldn't cover a second "initial" exam and that we were on a tight budget. The woman told me that she had a coupon for a free exam and she would let me use that and then we could see what the cost would be from there.

Wow! How nice I thought; and then get this - she fit us in at 8am the very next day.
I tried to prepare my daughter and told her that we were going to a very special dentist for kids; in fact, his office was called Kidz R Kool- and she liked that.
We walked in and his office was unbelievable, there was an arcade with video games (are they still called video games??) and the place looked like something from out of the Incredible's. It was VERY well thought out.
So first came the x-rays - that went alright, then the cleaning; which she didn't really enjoy (but who likes brushing their teeth with bubblegum flavored sand...) and then while we were waiting for the interpretation of the x-rays; all of a sudden it hit me. I had always thought that my dental phobia stemmed from the fact that I have a very ( physically ) small mouth, I am a mouth breather, and an asthmatic; not to mention the fact that I too have a terrible fear of needles; (so much so that I gave birth to all 3 of my children with no epidurals or drugs whatsoever. This choice wasn't made solely because of my needlephobia, "is that a real word?" but it did play a big part in my decision.) Anyway, I thought that I had fully justified my dentalphobia until I realized that one of the big reasons that I hate to go to the dentist is because when they tell you something is wrong, you feel like a failure. Well, at least I do; and being the overachiever that I am, failure is not a comfortable feeling for me!! I mean really, how can you not feel like a failure? Who else can you blame for poor or insufficient brushing or flossing. Yes, periodontal disease can be hereditary (I know all too well about that too - unfortunately) but these other things are all up to you and if you have some cavities or plaque, guess who's to blame? And if your 5 or 3 year old has some cavities or plaque, guess who's to blame? AND it doesn't feel so good, taking all this blame. Hence another reason to AVOID the dentist.

So now they read the x-rays, and suffice it to say that we went from her needing a few cavities filled to her needing 7 cavities filled, her bottom 4 teeth extracted AND the possibility of a "baby root canal." Oh my god; how did this happen? Now I know to read it this must sound pretty extreme, and I bet some of you are thinking that you have a bridge in Brooklyn you could sell me; but I did see the x-rays for myself and her 2 "HUGE" grown up teeth were in her gum line and one of them was growing into one of the baby teeth in a really unhealthy way and would have ultimately come in twisted because there wasn't going to be room for it. Blah, blah, blah.

We all agreed that if I was going to have them do the extractions, everything should just be done at once and they would sedate her. Sedate her, sedate MY BABY. Oy! I thought they were going to need to sedate me as well. All of these ideas were just so overwhelming and as if I wasn't worried enough, now it was time to bring in the big guns - the receptionist with the estimate.
Hold onto your hats... How bout $897.00 plus tax after what my insurance will pay. I tried my best to hold it together, but I AM NOT the QUEEN of Hiding my Feelings. I have no poker face, and I just about lost it. I started to cry because I felt trapped and like a complete failure (there's that word again.) I knew that my daughter needed to have this work done, but the cost was going to be excruciating for us. The receptionist asked if it would help if they waived the $175 sedation fee because "we can do that," she said. I thanked her and told her that anything would help.

Oh, I forgot to mention that before we went over the x-rays, they asked me if I wanted them to examine my 3 year old daughter. I said "I don't know if she'll cooperate," and they said "She's 3 - we expect that." SO I started to ask my daughter "DO you want to have your teeth checked today?" AND at the same time both the dentist and his assistant barked at me "YOU are the parent, you tell her what to do, no 3 year old is going to agree to having their teeth examined." Whew - so now I'm a bad parent for talking it over with my 3 year old. Trust me when I tell you that my children DO NOT run me (well may be this one does;) but I make the decisions, yet I did want to see if she was comfortable with this. What else could these people possibly do to me to make me feel worse?? My daughter did agree so I felt good about having her examined and thank god she was UNBELIEVABLY well behaved and cooperative, (which is SO unlike her;) and luck of luck, no cavities. I actually did something right - I'm still in shock over that one.

While my little one was being examined my 5 year old had drank her sedative and it kicked in pretty quickly. They moved us to the "quiet room," which had a lot of comfy pillows and blankets and stuffed animals and movies - and she slept. They had told me that in 45-60 minutes they would take her in and swaddle her in a papoose and put her on a board and secure her head still and that I was to accompany them for the set up; and then leave the room. I thought this would just about kill me. Luckily, since she was fully asleep when they were to bring her in the room, they seemed to think they could handle it without me, and I did not have to witness this preparation. I think they could also tell that I just wasn't up for it. I was VERY emotional about the whole thing.
Once she was secure they assured me that she was still asleep and the procedure would take about 45 minutes. I think they were the longest 45 minutes of my life; though the 2 Xanax that I took made them seem just like an hour.
When she was done they told me she did beautifully and that she slept the whole time. They told me that she could have some ice cream and then some Motrin or Advil. Then I paid my $840 (She didn't need the "baby root canal" for the additional $250 - hallelujah!) and we left.

We went to get some ice cream and while she was eating she told me that she was afraid she was going to look silly; and she started to cry. I promised her that she was going to look as gorgeous as ever and reminded her that her brother had been without many teeth for a very long time. We went to buy some ibuprofen even though she was reluctant to take it. I let her pick the flavor just in case she did need to take some; but I tell you what - this girl must have some tolerance for pain (she must also get that from me; ) because to this point she still hasn't taken any medicine.

We had told her that if she didn't feel up to it she wouldn't have to go to preschool today and when my husband tried to wake her up to see if she wanted to go she told him that she was going to stay home because she needed to relax. LOL
She had a very good day and when I came home and saw her; I asked how she was and she told me that she liked having her teeth out because it made her "different than other kids." Is my girl exceptional or what?

In a lot of ways I think this whole experience may have been harder on me than it was on her; I mean she slept through the whole thing and I was the one agonizing over what was happening to her. Maybe they should include some sedation for the parent too; because there is NO fear like being scared for your child. I'll have to think of a good expression for that kind of phobia. Fear of your child hurting or being scared. What shall we call that? Oh , I know - Motherhood...
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

What the faux

Disclaimer: I wish that I could say I was the clever one who came up with this title; but unfortunately for me, all the credit has to go to none other than Lesa G; who emailed her comments to me under that title, before I had the chance to blog. Girlfriend, you are just TOO FUNNY!!

So I was at work tonight and I got a call from Big V (who lives in NY;) and all she said was "I expect a blog about Sangria's hair tomorrow." She didn't want to give me any information about the hair or the show, since it would be hours until I would get to see it; but of course my curiosity was peaked.
So as not to disappoint Big V; here we go...
Now do I really have to say it? I'm not thinking that it needs to be said because you know that you are all thinking the same thing as me, but OK, I'll say it, "What the faux??" First off, does this fool, (and by fool you all know I mean Sangria) have any clue that everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, is making fun of him? Who in his/her? right mind would come out with their hair like that, and then be SO smug as to tell Simon "You're just mad because you can't pull it off..." Yah right Sangria, I'm sure Midas Cowell is sitting at home tonight, sobbing in his champagne because he can't pull off the pony hawk or faux hawk, or whatever you want to call it. I'm CERTAIN that he is at home right now, reproaching himself for missing his opportunity to wear such a 'do' and "make a complete ass of himself!! " I must wonder though how many jr. high or high school kids are gonna try and pull this off now?? I bet Simon will be "mad" at them too. LOL
OK Sangria let's talk about your singing? now. OY! It was like watching a train wreck. You saw the train coming and you knew it was going to happen and there was nothing you could do to prevent it, and now in the aftermath you know that we are all helpless; thanks to the losers at VFTW - you morons! I mean could Sangria at least have tried to sing; to compete? I think he's just getting a little too cocky about being lousy. Now how's that for mediocre?? Or maybe it's not mediocre, maybe he's an insane genius who's trying really hard to be lousy. Umm, nope, I think I'd have to go with, he's just lousy; which is even less than mediocre.
Simon pretty much summed it up when he said "it's out of our hands." At this point you've just gotta know that Howard Stern & VFTW are just travelling full steam ahead; and sad to say but I'd be shocked (though delighted,) if Sangria did get voted out tomorrow.

So while I'm on the subject of drag queens ... Am I the only one who noticed that Phil Stacey had an INCREDIBLE amount of make up on? And with that hat, I thought I was looking at one of the guys from La Cage after the show. (You know leaving in their guy clothes but still with their make up on.) I mean I love drag queens as much as the next person, maybe more. I'm a huge Too Wong foo fan and I loved Connie and Carla; and since most of you probably have no clue what either of those are, you can probably take my word that I love drag queens more than the next person; yet, I was just surprised to see one on idol, and in guy clothes. At least give us the whole show and put on one of those FABULOUS dresses that drag queens always seem to have.

On a positive note. I love me some Gwen Stefani. I thought she was the most honest guest we've EVER seen. You go Gwen! I thought Gina brought her A game back; and being the 70's dance music QUEEN, I've always LOVED "Heaven knows;" and I LOVED how Melinda sang it; I just don't LOVE to look at her so much... She looks a little peculiar to me and I can't quite put my finger on it; though tonight I couldn't tell if what she was wearing under her boobs/waist was supposed to be a belt or a bra?? I didn't hate the whole outfit, like Simon did; I just didn't like the belt/bra? The judges raved about Lakeisha but I didn't think that she brought it tonight; BUT, Jordin did. I loved the song, I loved the outfit even though it wasn't the most flattering, and my husband thinks that her earrings were SO big, to make her face look smaller. HAHA

My bottom 3: Sangria of course, Haley (because I don't have a good reason not to want her in the bottom 3) and Chris Sligh. I LOVED that the judges ripped him a new one. You have to know that he got those awful comments as a punishment for his shout outs to Dave last week. HAHA Chris, now who's feeling the worst??
Let's keep our fingers crossed that America did the right thing this week.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING