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If I had a nickel for every time I've said "time flies" during the course of writing "The Bumpy Ride"... BUT it's true, it does; and the fact that swim team is already concluding this week is just more proof of it.
It seems like just yesterday that my kids were starting swim team prep. Remember I wrote "Love Gives You Courage" and I told you about that horrible, girl "Brenda"? Then school ended and I was so looking forward to our summer and our swim meets. I told you about sitting at the judges table, and how "awful, Brenda" was putting herself in races with slower swimmers so that she could come in "first place." What I didn't tell you, was that this was not the best swim season, by a long shot - for either of my girls.
It's not that I didn't tell you because I was ashamed or embarrassed about how they were doing. It's was just that there wasn't a whole lotta story there at the time. I mean they each had a couple of good races; but something was different this summer, for the both of them, and ultimately neither was as successful as they had been in seasons past. I kept telling them that it didn't matter what place they came in, as long as they were having fun; but what can I say, they're their mother's daughters and hence they are competitive by nature. (Lyndzi more so than Kelsie.)
Ultimately it wasn't the best meet for Lyndzi or Kelsie, but they did have a couple of really good races. Lyndzi got 2nd place for her Freestyle, 4th place for her Butterfly and 8th place for Backstroke. Kelsie got 3rd place for Breaststroke, 6th place for Backstroke and 7th place for Freestyle. Tomorrow it's Nicky's turn and interestingly enough, he's been having a phenomenal season, but I digress.
As a parent who is always looking for the lesson that can be learned, I wanted to reinforce the idea that as long as they tried their hardest and had a good time doing it; what place they came in was irrelevant to us. I would rather have them come in last and have really tried, than to come in first because they were swimming against kids with less aptitude. I told them that I would cheer them on whether they were come in second or seventh place because they're my kids and I'm ALWAYS in their corner. Besides, if you usually come in first, I don't think that you appreciate it as much as if you've had a couple of eighth's and fifth's throughout the season. To truly appreciate the splendor of first place, you have to know what it's like to be in the other places as well.
I am very proud of my girls for the commitment that they made to swim team and for the effort that they put forth. It is my pleasure to watch them swim and compete regardless of the outcome. I am sad that swim team is over for the summer, but I look forward to the extra time it will give us together.
Till next time...
Queen of Everything
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A couple of months ago I wrote a blog called "Love Gives You Courage", and I told you about this girl (who I called Brenda for the sake of the blog.) I explained that Brenda had been very rude to Nicky and that Lyndzi had stuck up for him. I also told you that I wasn't a fan of Brenda's, partly because she's mean and has a phony smile, but also because she's inconsiderate and obnoxious. I know that those are strong words to say about a child and I apologize if I seem harsh; but I don't know what other words to use to describe her behavior. This isn't exactly something that I can consult my Thesaurus about, and when I tell you what I'm about to tell you; it may be apparent why.
I've mentioned on more than one occasion that during home swim meets, Luis and I (along with my friend Kailene) sit at the judges table and figure out what place all the swimmers come in. Although this position can be a little stressful, we do get a front row seat for all the action and there's something to be said for that.
If you're not familiar with swim team procedure, I can tell you that we swim two different strokes and one relay, during each swim meet. Also the kids are divided into three age groups during Lyndzi and Kelsie's meets, as well as three groups at Nicky's meets. We will run as many heats (races) as necessary, in order to assure that all swimmers are given the opportunity to swim. Typically the coach will put his/her fastest swimmers in the earliest heats; so imagine my surprise when Brenda chose to swim in the fifth (out of six) heats. I noticed that she was doing this a number of weeks ago, because Brenda is a very good swimmer and she is particularly fast; but I can't help believing that she does this so that she can come in first all the time.
My kids do swim team for the daily exercise that it provides and because they like competing. It would be very easy for me to tell Lyndzi (for example) to wait to swim towards the end of the heats because there were weaker swimmers that she could surely beat; but I'm not about that. Although I like when my kids do well, because it boosts their self esteem; I'm also OK if they come in dead last as long as they tried their best and had a good time. Coming in first EVERY time is not going to prepare "Brenda" for the reality of life. And truth be told, it's not the placing that counts; it's actually your times. My feeling is that 1. Brenda needs to let the girls in the later heats, compete against each other and let some of them enjoy success.
2. Brenda needs to challenge herself and compete against people whose aptitude for swim is more similar to hers. And lastly, she needs to learn that it's OK not to come in first all of the time.
There are very few if any, individuals who come in first each and every time they do something; so I think Brenda needs a lil dose of reality. And she needs to learn what it means to play fair and be a good sport.
We couldn't help but discuss Brenda during the meet, because it was obvious to every one that she intentionally swam in a less competitive heat, so that she could come in first and even though this is a recreational swim team, it was inappropriate to do so.
I find it very sad that coming in first is so important to Brenda and yet I know that there are a lot of other people out there like that. It seems to me that Brenda is basing her self-esteem on how well she does in a swim meet, but she's doing herself a great disservice. And as someone who loves children, I find this disturbing. Apparently Brenda's parents don't have a problem with what she's doing and if I took a wild guess, that's probably because coming in first is the only thing that matters to them, no matter the means.
I hope that my children know that just like they're not a 4.0 or an award winning painting or a first place ribbon; it's the process that counts, and you should be proud of yourself regardless of your place or time. If you believe that you tried your best and you enjoyed yourself while trying; that's a greater prize than any ribbon.
Till next time,,,
Queen of EVERYTHING
If I had a nickel for every time I've said "time flies" during the course of writing "The Bumpy Ride"... BUT it's true, it does; and the fact that swim team is already concluding this week is just more proof of it.
