(43-174) FORGIVENESS

I've said it more times than I can count; "I am blessed, I am blessed, I AM BLESSED;"  and so I am; in so many ways.  But tonight; the blessing that I'm referring to, is that of my children and my friends.  The response to "Do Over..." has been heart warming, as both my kids and my friends seem to believe that my analysis of my behavior was far too harsh.  Once again, I have to dispute their claims and tell you that my behavior was far from what I would expect of myself, and though every one's faith in me won't permit them to believe my assessment; it's true.

With that being said, I can tell you that I'm trying to put the incident behind me and forgive myself.  I KNOW that no one is perfect.  I KNOW that wallowing in my shame is not helpful or healthy; and I KNOW that I will do better next time; and there WILL be a next time, because I am nothing if not a fighter.  A fighter in the sense that I will not give up.  I will not be dissuaded, because for me; failure is not an option.

In the process of trying to work through my feelings about "the drama," as my kids refer to it; I looked up quotes about forgiveness; and I'd like to share some that I liked best, with you.

On Betterworld.net, I found "Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were." -- Cherie Carter-Scott

"The only way children can learn the habit of forgiveness is by seeing us, their parents, forgive others and forgive ourselves." -- Naomi Drew

"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."  -- Mohandas K. Gandhi

"Forgiveness does not overlook the deed. It rises above it." 
 -- Pumla Gobodo-Madikizela

Such profound words.  They have helped me to realize that if I can forgive others (which I am apt to do;) then I myself am deserving of my own forgiveness.  I see that no one benefits from my extended lament and criticism of myself.  Instead I have to approach each day ready to do better than the last.  I need to remember what happened but not dwell on it and love myself regardless; because as RuPaul says, "If you don't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?"

I AM forgiven.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING