Disclaimer: Once again I cannot take credit for the clever title. If you are chuckling, you owe your laugh to Big V and her husband Joey; who not only left me a message requesting a blog with this title, but sent me a text with it as well. Good one guys!!
I have to say before I begin that I am flattered that people (well Big V) is making requests for blogs. At least I know I'm amusing someone. But now to request a blog AND request a title - Oh, the pressure... Since I am more than capable of being the Queen of INSECURITY; I can only hope that I don't disappoint.
Now, I'm sure that some of you saw the title, put two and two together, and laughed your heads off. The others of you don't watch the Amazing Race. I must say I think that I laughed out loud during this episode more than I can remember laughing at any show in a very long time; and once again all my laughter came at the expense of Charla and Mirna.
I am still finding it SO difficult to understand why these two morons feel the need to put on fake accents when talking to people in other countries. I'm beginning to think that they do it because they are hoping that they sound like these people, when they are trying to speak English. You know what I mean? Like they when they're in Poland, they tried to sound like what they thought Polish people would sound like if they were trying to speak English. Only problems with this are: 1. If they were native and really had this accent, they would just speak their native language and not English in Poland and 2. Every accent sounds the same. I mean the people of Poland don't know that this was the same way they sounded trying to talk to the people of Mozambique; but we do, and it CRACKS ME UP.
I also have to say it is absolutely ridiculous to me when Mirna insists on telling people or the camera that she and Charla are "young girls." Mirna and Charla are definitely under 40 but they are far from"Young girls." The beauty Queens are definitely younger than them, and Dani is definitely younger than them, but she says "no one wants to help us and we are two young girls," or "why are you doing this to us, we are young girls..." Well Mirna, you need to take a look in a mirror during your next pit stop baby, because you and Charla really ain't so young.
Now explain this one to me. Mirna tries to get some Polish taxi cab drivers to give her directions, they tell her they'll help her for $100, and she gets all Mirna on them (and by Mirna on them, I mean CRAZY;) and says (in her fake accent) "what do you think, I am made of money? You are trying to rob us and we are (say it with me) just 2 young girls." SO the taxi cab drivers get insulted (at the inference that they are trying to rob them) and start walking away; and Mirna says (in her fake accent) "my friend, where are you going?" OMG - I laughed so hard I thought I would pee. Now Mirna, you are an attorney honey, one would think that you would know that the word friend is not a word you use to a stranger that you just yelled at and accused of robbing you.
So as if all of this wasn't funny enough, In the middle of the night, Charla and Mirna get to the roadblock which entails one of the team members to put on a full suit of armor and walk a horse a 1/2 a mile. Mirna says to Charla "are you sure that you want to do this? Remember, we are facing getting kicked out of the race." Now keep in mind, not long before arriving at the roadblock Mirna had just yelled her head off at Charla and complained that she (Mirna) had to do everything; drive, do all the roadblocks etc. So what's Charla gonna say, "no, you do it?" But all I want to say is - See Mirna, you should have let Charla look for that stupid letter a few weeks ago, I think she was a lot more qualified to do that, then to put on a whole suit of armor and lead a horse (that is like the size of a dinosaur to her) for a half mile. Charla fell down twice (which was hysterical ) and Mirna yelled at her the entire time. Now I ask you; how could you not want these two to win? - NOT!!!
My money is on Danny and Oswald. I think they are fabulous!! They are gentlemen, they are kind, they are compassionate, they are funny and they are running a great race. My second choice would be Uchenna and Joyce because I just think they are good people. I like the way Uchenna talks and he is extremely reflective; he could actually make a good politician. Moving up for me to third place are the Beauty Queens. I hated them in their season, but they're acting a little nicer now, so I don't mind if they stick around a little longer; I just don't want them to win.
Honestly, the show might not be as funny once Mirna and Charla go - they have become the people you love to hate.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING
Showing posts with label Amazing Race. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Amazing Race. Show all posts
Sunday, April 1, 2007
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Reality Bytes
Now you have to know that I had a thing or two to say about American Idol this week; but I was afraid that I had missed the boat since the results were already announced. Then I gave it some more thought, (because I am the Queen of Thinking things over - can you say obsessive??) and finally decided; what the heck - criticism is criticism and should be shared regardless. LOL
So where shall I begin? I know I'll start at the bottom and work my way up.
So what kinda idiot is Brandon? First of all, Brandon said "I'm gonna sing Can't hurry love, because I grew up on that song." So then what happens; well amongst other things, the moron forgot the words. He grew up on the song; yet he forgot the words. Way to go, and go he did; right off the show.
Simon was on the money (as usual) when he told Brandon that he sounded like a back up singer's back up singer. I don't even think he sounded good enough to be a back up singer unless maybe he's gonna be a back up singer for Sangria.
(To the tune "Maria" from West Side Story) "Sangria, I just met a girl named Sangria." HAHAHA- oh I just kill myself. OK, so once again, Lesa was "dead on balls accurate." to quote Marissa Tomei from My cousin Vinnie (there ya go, Michelle K) She told me last night "I was sure that Sangria was going to sing I'm coming out;" OMG good one Lese, but I think it was actually Ryan's night to come out.
For those of you who don't know what I'm referring to, it went a little something like this: Melinda was saying that it was difficult for her to wear high heels and dresses. Ryan then throws it to Simon to make a comment about high heels (since Simon is such a fashion critic these days,) and Simon says "You should know Ryan;" and Ryan says "Stay out of my closet;" to which Simon replies "Come out." OK so to all of this I say, (not that it matters AT ALL;) but what heterosexual man would reply "stay out of my closet" when the subject of high heels comes up? AND I'm only talking about it because of the whole Sangria coming out thing. Anyway back to Sangria.
I thought that Sangria was trying to do a Diana Ross impersonation. Lesa thinks Sangria wants to be Michael Jackson, and everyone knows that MJ wants to be Diana Ross, so bottom line is Sangria was trying to be MJ being Diana Ross. Aagghh!! Too, Too much. You know you have to be REALLY bad when "in a singing competition," the only positive comment you get is about your hair - and while we're on the subject, what the heck was with that hair. Oh my gosh, I thought it was awful.
The only other thing I want to say about Idol before moving on is that I thought Lakeisha and Melinda blew Diana away. I was waiting for the judges to tell Diana that she was shouting. "Not your best performance dawg," is what Randy shoulda said.
So since I don't want this blog to be all about Idol; I'll move on.
Let's talk Amazing Race... (Here ya go Big V- I told you the time would come.) For those of you trying to keep up on my cast of characters, Big V is my treasured friend Ruthie; oh, excuse me, Ruth. Though from here on out she will only be referred to as Big V (my kids even call her Auntie V; they have no idea why or that her name is anything else; but the Big V is a story for yet another time)
OK, so in case I haven't said it before, I LOVE the Amazing Race; it's my FAVORITE Reality show; and since I'm such a fan of the all-star type event (I mean I was a huge Battle of the Network Stars fan - back in the day; and YOU know when the day was.) Anyway, I like Rob and Amber, well Rob anyway. He amuses me but now they're gone "and that's all I have to say about that;" to quote Forrest Gump. Hmm, big quotation blog for me. I feel a theme within a theme emerging...
My other FAVORITE team on the ARAS (Amazing Race All Stars) is Team Cha Cha Cha - Danny and Oswald. I LOVE them; I think they are GREAT and I'm so glad that they're doing well. I hope they kick every one's butts. And speaking of butts, let me now get on to Charla and Mirna.
So, first off, for anyone who doesn't know, Charla is a little person and she runs the race with her cousin Mirna, and these two are probably the most dislike duo in AR history. As much as people don't like having Rob and Amber in a competition, they dislike Charla and Mirna even more. Reason: they are whiny and annoying and quite honestly, though I've never watched it before I'm waiting for the "celebrity" boxing match between Charla and Mirna once Charla watches the show back and sees how Mirna was tooting her own horn and claiming that she has to work harder than anyone else in the race to make up for Charla's umm shortcomings -( haha that was my summation, she didn't use that word;) anyway she was doggin her and criticizing her like there was no tomorrow. EEWWWW Charla's gonna be MAAAADD and rightly so.
Now here's another tidbit about Charla and Mirna. Mirna, who is an attorney; claims to speak 5 languages - and I just have to say, Mirna, "accents and languages are NOT the same thing." OMG - Mirna will get in a taxi and put on what she thinks is a Spanish accent or a mid-eastern accent and try to tell the cab drivers to go or give them instructions. It's so flippin funny. I mean I think once I heard her speak another language, though I don't know what it was; but usually she just tries to feign an accent. So again I say "accent and language - not the same thing."
Here's another example of how hated these two are. In the last episode there was a road block (a task that only one team member may perform ) hmm, I just sounded like Phil (the host) there for a minute. Anyway, the roadblock was to go into this tiny one room post office and sort through the mailbags until you find the letter that has your team's names on it. Now first I have to say Mirna "you are an Ass!" why the heck would you choose to do this roadblock, when Charla had NO limitations on this one that would have hindered her performance. Little people can sort mail just fine, where hmm I don't know she seems to have a more difficult time w/ physical challenges; but you're right Mirna, you should sort the mail. That great reasoning probably comes in handy being a lawyer and all. (I should say for those of you who don't watch the show and just think I'm nuts at this point. Teams have to divide the road blocks, so they must take turns, and you obviously never know what's gonna come up, so If Mirna wasted a challenge like this and is kept from another road block which is more physical - "BIG Mistake, HUGE " To quote Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.
Boy am I getting sidetracked today or what? A particularly BUMPY RIDE. OK, so Charla and Mirna - now; once they find the letter they have to open it and read it and they discover that the letter is from one of the teams that they competed against in their original race. Most people received nice encouraging letters, team Guido received a funny letter and Rob and Amber's was well; not so nice. But Charla and Mirna: Charla and Mirna receive a letter from Marshall and lance; two brothers who HATED them; (and by the way , I hated Marshall and Lance, I thought they were a couple of schmucks! They were in another country trying to get directions and they were complaining that the people didn't speak English. See like I said schmucks! "It's their country numnuts; they don't have to speak ENGLISH"- unless it was England which it wasn't.) Anyway, Marshall and Lance wrote this nasty letter to Charla and Mirna talking about how Mirna is supposed to speak 5 languages and she doesn't even speak English. (I see a theme here for those brothers) But you get the point. Were Marshall and Lance the only people that they could get to write to Charla and Mirna? Are they that hated? Probably. I actually felt bad for them, because they had to read the letter out loud, and I don't think that was very nice of the producers - but oh well; they just don't ask my opinion, so what can I do.
Lastly, since I'm talkin "REALITY;" I would like to mention that Monday is the return of Dancing with the Stars. My husband and I saw the commercial last night and I couldn't have been more excited;. even he knew why... (sing with me) "My boyfriend's back and you're gonna be in trouble, hay na, hay na - yum, yum, Maks!!" (I just threw that part in) Woohoo, may my fantasies begin... Maks is back and I am a happy Queen. Queen of naughty thoughts about a 26 year old guy; I should be ashamed of myself; but he's just TOO beautiful and it's just TOO much fun!! OK, I'm lost in the Maks zone now that I'm thinking about him, so I'd better go.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING
So where shall I begin? I know I'll start at the bottom and work my way up.
So what kinda idiot is Brandon? First of all, Brandon said "I'm gonna sing Can't hurry love, because I grew up on that song." So then what happens; well amongst other things, the moron forgot the words. He grew up on the song; yet he forgot the words. Way to go, and go he did; right off the show.
Simon was on the money (as usual) when he told Brandon that he sounded like a back up singer's back up singer. I don't even think he sounded good enough to be a back up singer unless maybe he's gonna be a back up singer for Sangria.
(To the tune "Maria" from West Side Story) "Sangria, I just met a girl named Sangria." HAHAHA- oh I just kill myself. OK, so once again, Lesa was "dead on balls accurate." to quote Marissa Tomei from My cousin Vinnie (there ya go, Michelle K) She told me last night "I was sure that Sangria was going to sing I'm coming out;" OMG good one Lese, but I think it was actually Ryan's night to come out.
For those of you who don't know what I'm referring to, it went a little something like this: Melinda was saying that it was difficult for her to wear high heels and dresses. Ryan then throws it to Simon to make a comment about high heels (since Simon is such a fashion critic these days,) and Simon says "You should know Ryan;" and Ryan says "Stay out of my closet;" to which Simon replies "Come out." OK so to all of this I say, (not that it matters AT ALL;) but what heterosexual man would reply "stay out of my closet" when the subject of high heels comes up? AND I'm only talking about it because of the whole Sangria coming out thing. Anyway back to Sangria.
I thought that Sangria was trying to do a Diana Ross impersonation. Lesa thinks Sangria wants to be Michael Jackson, and everyone knows that MJ wants to be Diana Ross, so bottom line is Sangria was trying to be MJ being Diana Ross. Aagghh!! Too, Too much. You know you have to be REALLY bad when "in a singing competition," the only positive comment you get is about your hair - and while we're on the subject, what the heck was with that hair. Oh my gosh, I thought it was awful.
The only other thing I want to say about Idol before moving on is that I thought Lakeisha and Melinda blew Diana away. I was waiting for the judges to tell Diana that she was shouting. "Not your best performance dawg," is what Randy shoulda said.
So since I don't want this blog to be all about Idol; I'll move on.
Let's talk Amazing Race... (Here ya go Big V- I told you the time would come.) For those of you trying to keep up on my cast of characters, Big V is my treasured friend Ruthie; oh, excuse me, Ruth. Though from here on out she will only be referred to as Big V (my kids even call her Auntie V; they have no idea why or that her name is anything else; but the Big V is a story for yet another time)
OK, so in case I haven't said it before, I LOVE the Amazing Race; it's my FAVORITE Reality show; and since I'm such a fan of the all-star type event (I mean I was a huge Battle of the Network Stars fan - back in the day; and YOU know when the day was.) Anyway, I like Rob and Amber, well Rob anyway. He amuses me but now they're gone "and that's all I have to say about that;" to quote Forrest Gump. Hmm, big quotation blog for me. I feel a theme within a theme emerging...
My other FAVORITE team on the ARAS (Amazing Race All Stars) is Team Cha Cha Cha - Danny and Oswald. I LOVE them; I think they are GREAT and I'm so glad that they're doing well. I hope they kick every one's butts. And speaking of butts, let me now get on to Charla and Mirna.
So, first off, for anyone who doesn't know, Charla is a little person and she runs the race with her cousin Mirna, and these two are probably the most dislike duo in AR history. As much as people don't like having Rob and Amber in a competition, they dislike Charla and Mirna even more. Reason: they are whiny and annoying and quite honestly, though I've never watched it before I'm waiting for the "celebrity" boxing match between Charla and Mirna once Charla watches the show back and sees how Mirna was tooting her own horn and claiming that she has to work harder than anyone else in the race to make up for Charla's umm shortcomings -( haha that was my summation, she didn't use that word;) anyway she was doggin her and criticizing her like there was no tomorrow. EEWWWW Charla's gonna be MAAAADD and rightly so.
Now here's another tidbit about Charla and Mirna. Mirna, who is an attorney; claims to speak 5 languages - and I just have to say, Mirna, "accents and languages are NOT the same thing." OMG - Mirna will get in a taxi and put on what she thinks is a Spanish accent or a mid-eastern accent and try to tell the cab drivers to go or give them instructions. It's so flippin funny. I mean I think once I heard her speak another language, though I don't know what it was; but usually she just tries to feign an accent. So again I say "accent and language - not the same thing."
Here's another example of how hated these two are. In the last episode there was a road block (a task that only one team member may perform ) hmm, I just sounded like Phil (the host) there for a minute. Anyway, the roadblock was to go into this tiny one room post office and sort through the mailbags until you find the letter that has your team's names on it. Now first I have to say Mirna "you are an Ass!" why the heck would you choose to do this roadblock, when Charla had NO limitations on this one that would have hindered her performance. Little people can sort mail just fine, where hmm I don't know she seems to have a more difficult time w/ physical challenges; but you're right Mirna, you should sort the mail. That great reasoning probably comes in handy being a lawyer and all. (I should say for those of you who don't watch the show and just think I'm nuts at this point. Teams have to divide the road blocks, so they must take turns, and you obviously never know what's gonna come up, so If Mirna wasted a challenge like this and is kept from another road block which is more physical - "BIG Mistake, HUGE " To quote Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.
Boy am I getting sidetracked today or what? A particularly BUMPY RIDE. OK, so Charla and Mirna - now; once they find the letter they have to open it and read it and they discover that the letter is from one of the teams that they competed against in their original race. Most people received nice encouraging letters, team Guido received a funny letter and Rob and Amber's was well; not so nice. But Charla and Mirna: Charla and Mirna receive a letter from Marshall and lance; two brothers who HATED them; (and by the way , I hated Marshall and Lance, I thought they were a couple of schmucks! They were in another country trying to get directions and they were complaining that the people didn't speak English. See like I said schmucks! "It's their country numnuts; they don't have to speak ENGLISH"- unless it was England which it wasn't.) Anyway, Marshall and Lance wrote this nasty letter to Charla and Mirna talking about how Mirna is supposed to speak 5 languages and she doesn't even speak English. (I see a theme here for those brothers) But you get the point. Were Marshall and Lance the only people that they could get to write to Charla and Mirna? Are they that hated? Probably. I actually felt bad for them, because they had to read the letter out loud, and I don't think that was very nice of the producers - but oh well; they just don't ask my opinion, so what can I do.
Lastly, since I'm talkin "REALITY;" I would like to mention that Monday is the return of Dancing with the Stars. My husband and I saw the commercial last night and I couldn't have been more excited;. even he knew why... (sing with me) "My boyfriend's back and you're gonna be in trouble, hay na, hay na - yum, yum, Maks!!" (I just threw that part in) Woohoo, may my fantasies begin... Maks is back and I am a happy Queen. Queen of naughty thoughts about a 26 year old guy; I should be ashamed of myself; but he's just TOO beautiful and it's just TOO much fun!! OK, I'm lost in the Maks zone now that I'm thinking about him, so I'd better go.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING
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