Disclaimer: This blog was previously published in the form of an email. To those readers who were in my Oscar pool or test market, I apologize for the re-run, and assure you that this will be the last one. My next blog will be brand spankin new; so please indulge me this one more time.
Fasten your seat belts; it's gonna be a bumpy ride...
SO back in the day; (the day being HS, college and basically pre-marriage,) I had a lot of male friends. Yes, some friends with benefits some others just friends; (I know what you're thinking; and you're probably right - LOL) I had plenty of female friends too of course (though not with benefits; haha) but anyway, A lot of male friends.
So once upon a time I was engaged to this former Chippendales dancer. In my opinion he was HOT, and obviously many would agree (though probably not my older friends b/c they hated him; and with good reason.) You see, HOT yes but good, NO. He couldn't keep a job while we were together, he stole from me and my friends, he had anger mgmt issues, and maybe a drinking problem and basically he was self-admittedly obsessed with me. I bring this up because I remember that when we were together , sometimes while I was at work, I would talk to this male friend on the phone; and though he was not as HOT as my then fiancé , I would get off the phone and I would feel so exhilarated. A little mind f_ck if you will; AND that Mind f_ck was AMAZING!! Anyway, I realized that the way I felt after some of these conversations was alot more important than how hot my man was or how much he loved me. I had a cerebral need and it wasn't being met. So I dumped him.
Now you may ask why I share this with you, and believe me, you know me; though it may take me long to get there; I always have a point. So when I wrote, James Spader, James Spader, James Spader when praising Boston Legal; one of my dear friends came back with James Spader vs. McDreamy (Grey's Anatomy) NO WAY!! So to this I reply - it's not always about the looks. I'm not saying that James Spader is hotter than McDreamy in a physical sense; (though he's not uneasy on the eyes;) but the way he delivers his monologues on BL - What a MIND F_CK!! I mean if you saw it last night - Gail O'Grady's character (the judge on JS's case;) was TOTALLY into him for his conduct, his repartee, his mind F_CK, if you will. Think about it people, the brain is as much a sexual organ as any other that we have. If you have a partner that challenges you intellectually and stimulates your awareness, this will go much farther then having a partner who is just downright good looking; cause - looks have been known to fade (just in some people's cases.) So yes; again I praise James Spader for giving me that delicious feeling after he's pushed the envelope for the umteenth time. Bravo James, Bravo, keep it coming. And Kudos to David Kelly, I mean SSAD - Same Sex Attraction Disorder; how friggin funny was that... For those of you who don't watch I'm sorry, you don't know what you're missing; and hopefully next time I'll blog about something that has some more meaning to you. As for McDreamy I don't think he brings as much to the table in the brains department, but if y'all enjoy looking at him; have at it. I still look at him and see him doing the African Ant Eater ritual in "Can't buy me love;" remember that 80's B Rate film ?? Don't get me wrong, amongst other things that I consider myself the Queen of; I am the queen of 80's B rate films. About Last Night; I could recite word for word, same with St. Elm's Fire, Sixteen Candles, Grease 2 (as previously mentioned,) and too many more too numerous to name. I enjoyed Can't buy me love; I'd watch it right now if it was on and I had the time; but McDreamy?? I don't know.
I on the other hand am fortunate enough to have a husband who is a total cutie, pretty funny and definitely smart - but for my mind F_CK; i'll tune in to BL.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTYHING
Showing posts with label Pop culture. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pop culture. Show all posts
Monday, March 12, 2007
Friday, March 9, 2007
Catching up with Forrest Whittaker
Have you been checking out the comments I'm getting? You guys are so kind. Thank you so much for encouraging me. I'm really glad that you're enjoying being part of the insanity that is my life. I guess being a person who tries to be funny- it only stands to reason that I would have funny friends; and some of you guys just make me LMAO. But hey you never know, being friends with me could turn out to be a bit like Candid Camera; you never know when something you say just might turn up in my blog. You know you want to. Some of you have already hinted at what I might write about you. So be prepared, you never know, when the blog applies - it just may be your turn.
Now I must admit, I was rather surprised that Denise Richards has already found her way to my blog. I guess I shouldn't be as surprised about Forrest Whittaker finding me since after all, we are on the same team.
OK let me explain... Now for those of you who are in my Oscar pool, this blog is gonna be a bit of been there done that for you; but I think it's only fair to everyone else if I explain my connection to Oscar winner, Forrest Whitaker.
I have previously explained that I am the Oscar Mistress for my annual pool. So the following is an email that I sent to the pool participants:
Hello swimmers;
Tis I again; your dedicated Oscar Mistress. You may recall that a couple of years ago, I told you all that I was going to be keeping my Oscar emails to a minimum; that I was going to send my initial email, a reminder or two, my picks, and then the wrap up. Well I stuck with that for awhile; mostly because I had kids to nurse and diapers to change, but lately I've been enjoying my Oscar emails so much that I've been thinking that I might try my hand at blogging. I mean I LOVE to write, and people have been known to tell me I'm funny, and god knows that I amuse myself no end but most importantly, I think everyone is entitled to my opinion. Just kidding!! Anyway, I thought I'd use my Oscar commentary as a jumping off point and you guys get to be my test market so to speak.
So for those of you who aren't keeping track, Helen Mirren, Jennifer Hudson (WOOHOO), Forrest Whittaker and Eddie Murphy are all 2 for 2. Each has won the Golden Globe and the SAG. Somebody better start thinking for them self out there in voterland or it's gonna be one boring Oscar pool. Poor Forrest Whittaker, someone really better write an Oscar acceptance speech for him and then he can just act when he accepts. I mean really, his acceptance speeches are as bad as Peter Jackson's Oscar attire - and yet my heart goes out to them both - poor souls. Yah, poor souls winning Oscar's. I'm sure they'll be touched to know that the Queen of EVERYTHING in Peoria, AZ has her heart going out to them. Actually, me and Forrest Whittaker are on the same team according to my brother.
You see (for those of you who don't know, my brother is a tattoo artist in Hollywood;) one day he called me up and asked me if it's Mow (pronounced Mao for the sake of this email) or Mow (like mow your lawn for the sake of this email.) SO anyway, back to the story, mow or mow? SO I say mow (mao) and he of course disagrees and says it's mow. He then tells me that his friend Jules is on my team, and so is Forrest Whittaker. (Yup Forrest Whittaker who it looks like might win the Oscar, ) OK, so my brother and Jules were walking down some pier and they were having the mow/mow debate and Forrest Whittaker was walking by so they asked him if it was mow or mow and he said "I don't know, mow (mao) I guess;" hence he's on my team. So maybe since WE ARE on the same team; he'll care that my heart goes out to him and I think he needs a more engaging speech. Maybe I should email one to my brother (a speech that is;) and have him troll the pier until he runs into Forrest again, and then he could slip him MY speech. What; it could happen - hahaha! And just as an aside it is interesting to note that EVERYONE that I've asked about mow or mow have all said mow (mao.) Go figure.
Now, even though I'm on the don't like side; I'll mention that Little Miss Sunshine won for best ensemble cast -but again another hideous acceptance. I thought it would have been a lot better if they all got up there and did their dance. LOL - But maybe they're saving that up for the Oscar's, or maybe I should have my brother troll the pier for them too; to slip them MY idea, b/c my god, that would be a hoot, if I do say so myself. Remember - If it happens; you heard it here first.
Now, if you enjoyed this email, your positive feedback will be most greatly appreciated. If you thought this email was a boring, waste of your time; I offer my sincerest apologies and ask that you let me down gently b/c blogging Queen is my newest fantasy and I'm not quite ready for that bubble to be popped just yet. I mean I'm still getting over not being able to have my way w/ Maks from dancing with the Stars. LOL
OK, so after I sent this, amidst the positive feedback, I was informed that many people had NO IDEA what I was talking about with the whole Mow/Mow thing. So I sent the following:
Hello again everyone;
I promise that this is not going to become a daily thing; however, it has been brought to my attention that not everyone may know what I'm talking about when I say mow (mao) in which case, my last blog looks like the ramblings of a lunatic. You see for the sake of brevity (believe it or not;) I didn't want to give the background on mow; but now for clarity's sake I will.
So back in the day (the day pretty much being the eighties;) there was an expression, (at least back in NY there was,) that like when you were absolutely starving, you would say something to the effect of "I'm gonna mow," So mow like eat; but I mean if you were like, seriously, seriously hungry. What's left up for debate is if it's pronounced mow (mao) or mow (like to mow your lawn.) I know that my mow (mao), doesn't necessarily make as much sense as mow might, b/c one might think, mow; tear the food apart like a lawn mower, but for whatever reason, I KNOW the expression is mow (mao) and ironically enough so does every person that I've asked, and my brother's friend Jules and MOST importantly for the sake of this story, so does Forrest Whittaker. LOL. Yet my brother, who grew up in the exact same place as me; insists that it is mow, and ironically enough everyone he asked besides, me, Jules and Forrest Whittaker, say it is mow. Again I say Go figure.
So I hope that makes more sense to any of you who had no freakin idea what I was talking about.
Also, in my last email I wrote - Maybe I should email one to my brother (a speech that is;) and have him troll the pier until he runs into Forrest again, and then he could slip him MY speech. I would like to point out, that my brother does not "troll piers." He said that he ran into FW at Venice Beach. I don't know if that's considered more of a boardwalk than a pier; but he didn't enjoy the notion of people thinking he was "trolling piers," so please understand that I took a little artistic license with that expression, because I didn't know the exact location of where he and Jules were but mostly because trolling the pier just sounded so damn funny. Sorry bro!
Lastly, I forgot to mention this before, but you all may soon be rich beyond your wildest dreams. You see, my friend Jackie (who is jumping into our pool for the first time this year,) used to be a casting director in Hollywood. Jackie has worked with many, many stars and one of them was Eddie Murphy. SOOO, Jackie says to me "There is no way that Eddie Murphy is going to win an Oscar; he's a pain in the ass to work with and a total womanizer and there is no way that people are going to vote for him." (Actually, I believe she even went so far as to predict that he would not even get the Oscar nomination, - Ahhem I clear my throat.) So, with this Jackie says "I'm SO sure that Eddie Murphy will not get an Oscar that if he wins I will shit you and everyone else in the pool a gold brick." Anywhoo, With 2 wins under his belt now, Jackie is hard at work on those gold bricks - I'll keep you posted.
OK so there you have it; Forrest (Now Oscar winner) Whittaker is on MY team, and hence you may see a comment from him from time to time. Oh, this is so much fun.
So once again I have been anything but brief, and I apologize but since people were referencing trolling piers and Forrest, I just wanted you to all be in the loop - because after all, I do consider myself to be the Queen of Fairness; at least I try.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING
Now I must admit, I was rather surprised that Denise Richards has already found her way to my blog. I guess I shouldn't be as surprised about Forrest Whittaker finding me since after all, we are on the same team.
OK let me explain... Now for those of you who are in my Oscar pool, this blog is gonna be a bit of been there done that for you; but I think it's only fair to everyone else if I explain my connection to Oscar winner, Forrest Whitaker.
I have previously explained that I am the Oscar Mistress for my annual pool. So the following is an email that I sent to the pool participants:
Hello swimmers;
Tis I again; your dedicated Oscar Mistress. You may recall that a couple of years ago, I told you all that I was going to be keeping my Oscar emails to a minimum; that I was going to send my initial email, a reminder or two, my picks, and then the wrap up. Well I stuck with that for awhile; mostly because I had kids to nurse and diapers to change, but lately I've been enjoying my Oscar emails so much that I've been thinking that I might try my hand at blogging. I mean I LOVE to write, and people have been known to tell me I'm funny, and god knows that I amuse myself no end but most importantly, I think everyone is entitled to my opinion. Just kidding!! Anyway, I thought I'd use my Oscar commentary as a jumping off point and you guys get to be my test market so to speak.
So for those of you who aren't keeping track, Helen Mirren, Jennifer Hudson (WOOHOO), Forrest Whittaker and Eddie Murphy are all 2 for 2. Each has won the Golden Globe and the SAG. Somebody better start thinking for them self out there in voterland or it's gonna be one boring Oscar pool. Poor Forrest Whittaker, someone really better write an Oscar acceptance speech for him and then he can just act when he accepts. I mean really, his acceptance speeches are as bad as Peter Jackson's Oscar attire - and yet my heart goes out to them both - poor souls. Yah, poor souls winning Oscar's. I'm sure they'll be touched to know that the Queen of EVERYTHING in Peoria, AZ has her heart going out to them. Actually, me and Forrest Whittaker are on the same team according to my brother.
You see (for those of you who don't know, my brother is a tattoo artist in Hollywood;) one day he called me up and asked me if it's Mow (pronounced Mao for the sake of this email) or Mow (like mow your lawn for the sake of this email.) SO anyway, back to the story, mow or mow? SO I say mow (mao) and he of course disagrees and says it's mow. He then tells me that his friend Jules is on my team, and so is Forrest Whittaker. (Yup Forrest Whittaker who it looks like might win the Oscar, ) OK, so my brother and Jules were walking down some pier and they were having the mow/mow debate and Forrest Whittaker was walking by so they asked him if it was mow or mow and he said "I don't know, mow (mao) I guess;" hence he's on my team. So maybe since WE ARE on the same team; he'll care that my heart goes out to him and I think he needs a more engaging speech. Maybe I should email one to my brother (a speech that is;) and have him troll the pier until he runs into Forrest again, and then he could slip him MY speech. What; it could happen - hahaha! And just as an aside it is interesting to note that EVERYONE that I've asked about mow or mow have all said mow (mao.) Go figure.
Now, even though I'm on the don't like side; I'll mention that Little Miss Sunshine won for best ensemble cast -but again another hideous acceptance. I thought it would have been a lot better if they all got up there and did their dance. LOL - But maybe they're saving that up for the Oscar's, or maybe I should have my brother troll the pier for them too; to slip them MY idea, b/c my god, that would be a hoot, if I do say so myself. Remember - If it happens; you heard it here first.
Now, if you enjoyed this email, your positive feedback will be most greatly appreciated. If you thought this email was a boring, waste of your time; I offer my sincerest apologies and ask that you let me down gently b/c blogging Queen is my newest fantasy and I'm not quite ready for that bubble to be popped just yet. I mean I'm still getting over not being able to have my way w/ Maks from dancing with the Stars. LOL
OK, so after I sent this, amidst the positive feedback, I was informed that many people had NO IDEA what I was talking about with the whole Mow/Mow thing. So I sent the following:
Hello again everyone;
I promise that this is not going to become a daily thing; however, it has been brought to my attention that not everyone may know what I'm talking about when I say mow (mao) in which case, my last blog looks like the ramblings of a lunatic. You see for the sake of brevity (believe it or not;) I didn't want to give the background on mow; but now for clarity's sake I will.
So back in the day (the day pretty much being the eighties;) there was an expression, (at least back in NY there was,) that like when you were absolutely starving, you would say something to the effect of "I'm gonna mow," So mow like eat; but I mean if you were like, seriously, seriously hungry. What's left up for debate is if it's pronounced mow (mao) or mow (like to mow your lawn.) I know that my mow (mao), doesn't necessarily make as much sense as mow might, b/c one might think, mow; tear the food apart like a lawn mower, but for whatever reason, I KNOW the expression is mow (mao) and ironically enough so does every person that I've asked, and my brother's friend Jules and MOST importantly for the sake of this story, so does Forrest Whittaker. LOL. Yet my brother, who grew up in the exact same place as me; insists that it is mow, and ironically enough everyone he asked besides, me, Jules and Forrest Whittaker, say it is mow. Again I say Go figure.
So I hope that makes more sense to any of you who had no freakin idea what I was talking about.
Also, in my last email I wrote - Maybe I should email one to my brother (a speech that is;) and have him troll the pier until he runs into Forrest again, and then he could slip him MY speech. I would like to point out, that my brother does not "troll piers." He said that he ran into FW at Venice Beach. I don't know if that's considered more of a boardwalk than a pier; but he didn't enjoy the notion of people thinking he was "trolling piers," so please understand that I took a little artistic license with that expression, because I didn't know the exact location of where he and Jules were but mostly because trolling the pier just sounded so damn funny. Sorry bro!
Lastly, I forgot to mention this before, but you all may soon be rich beyond your wildest dreams. You see, my friend Jackie (who is jumping into our pool for the first time this year,) used to be a casting director in Hollywood. Jackie has worked with many, many stars and one of them was Eddie Murphy. SOOO, Jackie says to me "There is no way that Eddie Murphy is going to win an Oscar; he's a pain in the ass to work with and a total womanizer and there is no way that people are going to vote for him." (Actually, I believe she even went so far as to predict that he would not even get the Oscar nomination, - Ahhem I clear my throat.) So, with this Jackie says "I'm SO sure that Eddie Murphy will not get an Oscar that if he wins I will shit you and everyone else in the pool a gold brick." Anywhoo, With 2 wins under his belt now, Jackie is hard at work on those gold bricks - I'll keep you posted.
OK so there you have it; Forrest (Now Oscar winner) Whittaker is on MY team, and hence you may see a comment from him from time to time. Oh, this is so much fun.
So once again I have been anything but brief, and I apologize but since people were referencing trolling piers and Forrest, I just wanted you to all be in the loop - because after all, I do consider myself to be the Queen of Fairness; at least I try.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING
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