(43-106) A Blueprint for a B.F.F

I picked the kids up on campus today (even though the Art Nazi is gone;) and while I was there, one of Kelsie's friends came running over to give her a hug goodbye; and said "See you tomorrow B.F.F"  I wonder if my kids would believe me if I told them that even when I was back in elementary school, we used to write B.F.F. on notes that we would pass to friends.  Yes, I've had my share of B.F.F's over the years; or at least friends who I thought would be friends forever; but sometimes that just isn't possible.  Just like I wrote in "Nothing Much," sometimes people grow apart; and it doesn't minimize how much they cared for each other or erase the memories that they shared; it just means that sometimes friendships change.

In reflecting on my 43 years of life, and what it means to have a friend and be a friend; I have come up with a blueprint of what it really takes to be a B.F.F. and here's my DISCLAIMER:

I am absolutely, positively, NOT writing about any one in particular; but sharing my general points of view on the matter.

A best friend is someone that you're always happy to see or hear from, and someone that you always want to make time for.  

A best friend is someone who sticks with you in good times and in bad. 

A best friend will stand by you when you're in a jam; and try to help you find solutions for your problems.  A best friend looks out for your best interests and tries to help whenever possible.

A best friend doesn't always tell you what you want to hear; sometimes they tell you what you NEED to hear.  There are enough people in this world who are willing to yes you to death, or let you walk around with toilet paper on your shoe or broccoli in your teeth; but a BEST Friend; should tell you the truth whether you're going to like it or not, and you should welcome them to; because if they really are your best friend, they are speaking from a place of sincerity,  love and concern.  A best friend shares their opinion even if it's contrary to yours and then needs to respect your choices, even if they don't agree with them. 

A best friend is someone with whom you can enjoy life's simple pleasures.  You don't always have to be going, running, doing; to be able to enjoy the time that you share. 

A best friend is someone with whom you have common interests, goals, values and ideals.   You don't have to have come from the same place, but you are heading in the same direction.

A best friend is someone that is aware of all of your
attributes and shortcomings and loves you anyway. It's someone that accepts you for exactly who you are, and doesn't try to change you. Someone that you feel you can tell your biggest secrets, worst embarrassments, greatest joys and all of your dreams to; because they're not going to judge you.

If you are married; I would hope that your spouse is your best friend; since he / she is the person that you are most intimate with. By saying my "Best" friend it connotes that you could only have one; because only ONE person can be the best at something; but I say that a person should count themselves lucky to have as many individuals as possible that meet the above mentioned blueprint of a B.F.F.  I myself am VERY blessed to have my husband and the honest, supportive, nurturing, patient,true friends that grace my life and I hope that you can all say the same.                                       

Till next time...

Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-76) TRUST

Last night, after I added the link for "The Hangover" DVD to my post, I checked to see if there was anything that I could offer, relating to "Master Chef;" and I accidentally stumbled upon the cookbook by the winner.  Curses!  I had just ruined the finale for myself. When I was done typing my blog, Luis and I were able to finish watching last night's episode and then I told him about my discovery. I had no intention of spoiling the show for him and I refused to tell him who the winner was even though he used his best bravado to convince me that he already knew.

After dinner we settled in to watch the second half of the finale, with Lyndzi and Kelsie watching right along with us. Since my Maks lookalike had been eliminated last night; that left Luis' young thang in the running; and she was our family favorite. We watched as she advanced towards the final 2 and Luis and the girls asked me repeatedly if she won. I remained silent on the matter and I told them that what I thought I saw may not have been correct; so I didn't want to say anything.

With just a couple minutes to go, I started to ponder what I would write tonight's post about; and Lyndzi turned to me and implored "Tell me, just tell me; does Whitney win?" I looked at her and said "You have just a few minutes left; can't you wait to find out?" With that, Lyndzi said, "I know Whitney is the winner; I can see it in your eyes." I chuckled and said "Maybe I was lying and I don't really know who won." To which Lyndzi responded, "You would never lie to me; " tilted her head inquisitively to the side and ever so sweetly asked, "Would you?" I assured her that she was correct; that I would never lie to her. As soon as Lyndzi asked this question; I knew EXACTLY what I was meant to write about tonight. Lyndzi's trust in me is what I have aspired to as a parent and was more rewarding than if I had won "Master chef" myself. According to Dictionary.com; trust is defined as "1. reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence." And the fact that Lyndzi has implicit faith that she can trust me; is the cornerstone of our relationship.  I think that if a child is confident that they can trust  their parent; the lines of communication will remain open and the child will strive to be trusted as well.  I pride myself on being a woman that people can trust and depend on; and tonight Lyndzi has validated my venture.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING