One Way or Another

At this point, if anyone asks you what "The BumpyRide" is about, you can pretty much just say FEET.  Now I know that people don't really want to read endless stories about my abusive pedicures, my in-grown toe nails, and all the other feet fiascos that I have shared; but the truth is that I haven't posted a blog in over a month; and SEVERAL of the reasons (ok excuses) why, have to do with my feet.  Yes, one way or another, it ALL seems to be about my feet.   I'm hoping that maybe, just maybe, this can be the last foot post for a while and I can get on to more important things; like writing a regular blog about thoughts and events that have nothing to do with my feet.

With so much time to cover I hardly know which way to go; which of course is one of the EXCUSES that I am using for not posting.  I thought about giving you a top ten list of the reasons that I haven't written, but alas, the excuses are not all that funny.  The first week that I didn't post -  I needed the time (that I would have spent blogging) to do my Oscar research.  I reasoned that I had a better chance of making money in my Oscar pool than I did writing my blog that week; and so I explored my Oscar options; only to wind up coming in right in the middle of the pack and hence no money was earned.  Yes, yes, it's always fun; but as much as I was looking forward to the broadcast, I was disappointed by Alec and Steve; and therefore, wrote no Oscar blog this year.  I will say that my heart goes out to Sandra Bullock, who won the WELL DESERVED, Best Actress Oscar for The Blind Side.  Oh poor Sandra appeared at every award show there was, commending her saintly, husband Jesse James for getting dressed up in a monkey suit and enduring all of the award festivities.  She said that it was the first time that she knew what it was like for someone to have her back (she even upheld that statement to Barbra Walters;) but unfortunately while he was supposed to have Sandra's back, he was having various body parts of other women as well.  I know that when you're famous your business becomes the world's business and typically it's bad enough when a celeb is cheated on and the world finds out about it; but to have publicly praised your husband left and right and then have this news come to light - UGGHH! To quote my friend Dawn, "She truly was blind sided!"

Ok, so for someone who didn't know what to write about, this is certainly a lot easier than I thought, but for brevity's sake (ok, who am I kidding) I am going to need to sum this up in a nutshell; so here goes.  I've been BUSY, VERY busy.  I've been perfecting my Pot Roast, crucifying a corned beef, I taught myself how to make baked beans, pulled pork AND cream cheese frosting (from scratch.)  I've baked numerous batches of brownies and cupcakes, gone on field trips and had kids home for Spring Break.  I've been making cards, jewelry, and flower hair clips. I've colored Easter eggs, shopped for Easter basket fixins, prepared Easter dinner and stuffed plastic eggs with money for our Easter egg hunt.   I've been shopping for clothes for 4 peole for 2 weddings, helped with speeches and unlimited homework, gone to the gym, (though not nearly enough) and had my hard drive crash.   I backed my car up into a landscaping truck and shattered my back windshield, And around the time of the Oscar's I knew I was developing yet another in-grown toe nail.  I could hear the Podiatrist's words clear in my head "as soon as you start to get an in-grown toe nail, come in and we'll take care of it for you before it gets infected."  Oh yah, I heard the words but I ignored them; not because I didn't want to go to the doctor, but because I didn't want to pay the $40 co-pay.  So I tried to heal myself; and I'm sure you know what happened.  I wound up in the Podiatrist's office and I was as embarrassed as could be.  I decided that I would take one of my kids with me, because I was very nervous and I thought that I would put on a braver face if one of them was there.  I also thought that I'd feel comforted having one of them with me.  We talked about it and deduced that Nicky couldn't be the one to go because he cries when I get upset.  Lyndzi interestingly enough had no interest in going, but Kelsie stepped right up and volunteered.    Kelsie grabbed a pack of M& M's, (which I told her she couldn't eat until AFTER we were done at the doctor's office) and we were on our way.  While we were in the examining room Kelsie pulled out her pack of M&M's and when I reminded her that she had to wait to eat them, she started to get ornery..  I explained that the examining room was sanitary and not a place to eat; to which she responded by pouting.  The wonderful Dr. Moyer came in and I told him how nervous and emabarrassed I was, but he put me right at ease.  He told me that he was going to give me a shot to numb my toe and the rest would be a piece of cake.  I reminded him about my HUGE fear of needles and he was as gentle as could be.  Once the doctor left the room so I could numb up; much to my surprise Kelsie started to cry.  She couldn't exlpain exactly why; but nonetheless she was crying.  The nurse came in and assured her that I was going to be fine and that the worst part was over; but she just kept crying.  The nurse then asked her if she wanted a cookie and Kelsie gave me a very dubious look.  I told her that she could have it, and the next thing I knew, the nurse handed Dr.Moyer a couple of cookies and a couple of Red Vines and asked him to give them to Kelsie.  Suffice it to say that she stopped crying and sat happy as a clam eating her treats, all the while giving me that "told you so" look.    Dr. Moyer removed the in-grown toe nail and told me that there was a 95% chance that it would not grow back. Well I can probably start writing THAT blog now... 
So basically my plan to save $40 wound up costing me $80 since of course there was a follow up visit, but I must say that I have recovered beautifully; SO much so that  this past friday I actually went for my first pedicure since December.   I  was SO proud of myself becuase I got online and looked for reviews of places in my area.  (This is NOT something that I typically do; but BOY am I glad that I did.)  I found a place called Model Nails, not very far from my house (67th & Peoria for those of you who are local to me.)  The reviews raved about the owners / sisters Tracy and Lisa  and how they took their time with each customer and made them feel special.  They also mentioned Tracy's beautiful artwork but cautioned patrons that you rarely got to pick YOUR design; as Tracy typically decided what to give you.  Well, I thought this sounded perfect for me.  I gave them a call and was in their shop within the hour.  I had told Tracy that my feet were in bad shape and in need of a lot of repair; but she didn't agree with me, or grimace or scoff or make me feel bad.  She just said "we'll take care of it."  I felt so comfortable, so at ease, so grateful that I had found a shop where I didn't have to keep apologizing for my feet.  I told her about my 2 in-grown toe nail experiences, and the dislocated joint, and the Scary feet story; and she just sympathized.  We were nearing the end of the pedicure and Tracy asked if I wanted a flower.  Of course I said yes; and much to my delight she pulled out a couple of little boxes with sample designs.  I chose a beautiful rose and she politely said "NO."  she explained that because the December in-grown toe nail toe nail had not fully grown back yet, the design would call more attention to it.  She then picked out the design that I was to have and I thought this was hysterical.  Here you pick, nope you can't have that; I'll pick.  Guess that reviewer was right - but I don't care.  Model nails is the place for me!!

Now, the reason that I was so anxious to get a pedicure; besides for the fact that my  feet looked like I had just crawled out of a cave; was because I had my cousin's wedding to go to on Sunday.  It took me forever to find something to wear ( which is yet another EXCUSE for not writing my blog).  Wedding clothes shopping had taken over our lives for 2 weeks; so wedding shopping accounts for 2 missed blogs (if you're keeping track.)  Ok, so I got something to wear, and I was under the impression that I had shoes; but when I tried them on, my feet hurt.  It was now the day before the wedding and I was IN TROUBLE as that allusive size 12 shoe was nowhere to be found.  I put my thinking cap on and remembered that I had a pair of red sandals that I loved, that would work with my skirt and top if only I  had a red tank top; so I spent a whole $3, picked up a red tank at Walmart and my outifit looked GOOD!  I was so excited about the whole "Red" thing because in May we're going to my sister-in-laws wedding in Mexico and I bought my girls these BEAUTIFUL black and white dresses that have a red ribbon and I  thought we'd now look very coordinated.   WELL, as you know, nothing goes smoothly where I'm involved and this morning when I went to the kitchen to get some water, I found that my dog, (who has never destroyed a shoe in her life) ruined one of my red sandals.  I couldn't believe it - although I don't know why I was surprised.  I was dumbfounded at first, then angry; but in the long run I love my dog so I tried to justify her behavior.  Maybe she's a fashion dog.  Maybe she thought that I was mistaken to wear the red sandals and the only way that she could save me from myself was to destroy the shoe.  Maybe she saved me, just like she saved this blog by giving me the perfect ending to my neverending feet saga.  What can I say; one way or another these feet of mine are nothing but trouble.

Till next time...

Queen of Everything

Was it PRIDE?

What to have for dinner is a nightly topic that takes TOO MUCH time in our household. I don't know why I just don't plan something and make it. OK, well sometimes I DO. But typically there is some type of discussion in which I ask "what do you want for dinner?" The conversation doesn't ALWAYS involve all 5 of us, because let's face it too many cooks... But usually, I ask Luis (if it's one of the 3 nights that he is home for dinner) or I ask the kids, or yeah, there are nights that I do ask EVERYONE. I don't remember my Mom ever asking me what I wanted, she just made dinner and it was ALWAYS terrific. But then again, she was a more confident cook than I am with a much more extensive repertoire. I shall remind you of #43 on my 100 Random Things About Me list : People tell me that I'm a good cook, but I have a limited repertoire. So with that being said; maybe I ask for suggestions because I LIKE to take everyone's feelings and desires into consideration or maybe it's because I just can't make up my mind. (Shocker!) But I think ultimately, it's because I want to make everyone HAPPY.

Well last Friday night, after an extensive discussion about dinner; Luis and I decided that he was going to cook. He was going to make Pizza for the kids (with dough from Trader Joe's - which I HIGHLY recommend. It's only $1.99, it's easy and it's GOOD.) And he was going to make Mexican eggs and bacon for he and I.

Luis did a BEAUTIFUL job on the pizza, and while he was cooking the rest of our dinner, I was emptying the dishwasher. A few minutes before the pizza was ready to come out of the oven, I grabbed my Pampered Chef cooling rack, and proudly boasted "I think I got this cooling rack for free when I hosted that Pampered Chef party, and I have to say it is one of the BEST things I ever got; because we use it all the time." And as if my chest wasn't already big enough, I think I puffed up a couple of sizes because I was SO proud of myself.

I put the cooling rack on the kitchen island and within a minute or two it was time for Luis to take the pizza out of the oven. As Luis leaned into the oven and saw his bubbling work of art, he bragged, "This pizza looks GOOD! I am THE BEST pizza maker ever!!" And with that he proceeded to put the tray on the WONDERFUL cooling rack, and the tray and pizza promptly slid right off the rack onto the floor. As it was coasting off the rack,(which seemed like slow motion to me of course) Luis shouted "Pooh" (because that's what he calls me) and I replied "What did you want me to do? Was I supposed to grab the hot pizza with my bare hands, or the tray for that matter? " But he claimed that he wanted to point out that my PRIZED cooling rack had a leg tilting off of the island and this was why the pizza crashed to the ground. OK! Since I ALWAYS double check the stability of the cooling rack (because I fear precisely what happened,) I don't believe this was the case.

Anyway, we stood there for a moment, looking at our delicious pizza oozing cheese all over the kitchen floor. The kids had come in when they heard the commotion and sadly witnessed Luis scooping the masterpiece off of the floor. They were disappointed to say the least, but I assured them that we would take another stab at making the pizza some time during the weekend and they were appeased. I told Luis "This is what we get for acting so PROUD." We laughed, and then I left for Del Taco, so I could get the kids some dinner.

Yes, I know sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. There may not be any cosmic reason that the pizza slid to the floor. It MAY BE be that the cooling rack wasn't sitting well on the island (although I HIGHLY doubt it.) It may be that the pan was slippery and that's why it careened off the rack, or, since I'm constantly seeking the GREATER GOOD, I am certainly willing to consider that it MAY have been about the pride. But, there is one other possibility; maybe I just needed something to blog about.

Till next time...

Queen of EVERYTHING

In REALITY...

It's been a while since I've written about reality TV, or felt compelled to ~ but with no major mishaps going on in my life this week, no remarkable trials or tribulations; now seems like the perfect time to share my opinions about what's going on In REALITY...

I analogize that when "American Idol" starts a new season, it's like the first day of school. You look forward to it, you're excited for it to begin and then you realize that you have another whole year to face and suddenly it doesn't seem so great. Oh, where do I begin... I'm going to try to be as brief as possible (I said TRY) as there is a lot of ground to cover, even at this early juncture in this season of "AI." First let me say; so Paula left, big deal. I'm sure that Fox could find someone else to play Mrs. nice guy and tell the girls when they look pretty. Yes, yes, I KNOW they already did that, I'm just kinda recapping. So Fox decides to have guest judges go on the road in Paula's place - did I like this idea; NO!! I think one of the good things about Idol is consistency, and having a different judge means people were not JUDGED by the same criteria. For instance, I really enjoyed Victoria Beckham and Shania Twain, but I thought Katy Perry was a monster and Joe Jonas didn't say a word; and not for nothing, but if Doogie Howser sings anything, it's Broadway, so I don't really think that he needed to be there (but then again, I was very disappointed in his behavior on "Top Chef Masters"; so I'm probably still holding that against him.) OK, so for some insane reason, FOX chooses Ellen Degeneres to be the new permanent judge on "AI," and to this I say, just because people might like Ellen, doesn't mean that she should be seen ALL OVER THE PLACE. I liken this to the over exposure of Rachael Ray and Paula Dean. Do what you do ladies, COOK! You don't need talk shows, and magazines and several shows on the food network; and a word of caution to Guy Fieri (who I love) don't travel this road my friend. You already have Triple D (which is another one of my FAVES) and "Guy's Big Bite" and if my eyes are serving me correctly it looks like you're also going to be hosting a game show in addition to some Food Network Challenges. Get wise, Food Network and FOX; just because the American Public likes someone it doesn't mean that we want to see them EVERYWHERE. It's like if you absolutely adored cheesecake and all of a sudden you got to eat a piece EVERY DAY (without gaining weight of course;) after awhile, you'd grow tired of the cheesecake and you wouldn't want it anymore. And in "Bumpy Ride" fashion, this is my way of telling you that I don't think FOX should have cast Ellen as the fourth judge. Just because you LIKE music, doesn't mean you are qualified to judge those who are trying to MAKE music; just like she wasn't qualified to judge dancing on "So You Think You Can Dance" last summer. I mean seriously, should Simon host a talk show, a cooking show and start a magazine? NO, he should not, because he knows that he should keep himself as the commodity that he is on "American Idol," or at least he DID know that until he decided that this would be his last season; and not for nothing; do I think that this decision had something to do with the arrival of Ellen; Yes I do, and would I rather see Simon on Idol than anyone; yes I would. So in a nutshell; I'll give Ellen her chance BUT, I'm not happy about it.

Disenchanted; that's what I am with "American Idol" right now. My friend Lesa G, is a wealth of knowledge when it comes to Hollywood gossip and the ins and outs; and she often shares her information with me. Several weeks ago, Lesa told me that Michael Lynche AKA Big Mike had been disqualified from "American Idol" because his dad had told his local newspaper that Michael had made it to the Top 24 and this was a violation of his contract. At the time I hadn't even seen Big Mike yet; but I kept this tidbit in the back of my mind. Michael was a very likable guy with a baby on the way. In fact his wife went into labor when he first got to Hollywood week and he missed the birth of his first child. I kept wondering if they were going to address his discharge or just try to slip someone in on us in his place (which they've done before.) And then when I saw that 16 year old Thaddeus Johnson hadn't been chosen for the Top 24, I thought I had it figured out. They'll replace Michael with Thaddeus and right the wrong of not choosing him in the first place. So my curiosity got the better of me, and I did a little Googling and from what I can tell Michael Lynche has caught himself a lucky break and is remaining in the competition along with some mediocre other guys; who pale in comparison to Thaddeus Johnson.
When I was doing my "AI"research I found that there was an incident with another contestant named Chris Golightly. Chris had made it into the Top 24, but they edited out almost all of his clips from Hollywood week and certainly the clip of him being told he'd made it into the Top 24, because they found that he had a previous record contract; which although not against the rules; he hadn't disclosed and "AI "didn't like this, so they let him go; EVEN THOUGH he didn't break his contract. But Michael Lynche who actually did break his contract is still there. HMMM! With the removal of Chris Golightly, another guy spot was now open on Idol, so this would have been a great time to recall Thaddeus Johnson,(left) but instead they chose Tim Urban; (right) a guy we had rarely seen before. So what's one to do; but create their own conspiracy theory, just as I have. My thinking, is that "American Idol" picks one to three contestants that they WANT to win the show, and everyone else is just varying degrees of fillers. They pick some people who they believe will get eliminated early on from the Top 24 (ie: Tatiana the crazy, crying, laughing girl from last year) and others who they believe will last a couple of weeks or so in the Top 12, but they know from the get go; who THEY want to win; and maybe this just wasn't Thaddeus' year because they believe he can go further another year when he just might be the One, TWO or THREE that they WANT to win. Will Thaddeus buy my theory; probably not, because he's 16 and he wanted this NOW, but will you buy my theory? I'm not implying that the show is FIXED; I'm just justifying their choices for the mediocre guys, so that it makes some sort of sense to me when I'm complaining over the next few weeks about how lousy the guys are. Remember Sanjaya??? FILLER!!
And so much for TRYING to be brief. Now, I know what you're thinking; "If you're disenchanted, don't watch." And you're right, but just because something isn't perfect one moment doesn't mean it can't change; and I'm curious enough to stick with it at least for a while longer, because there are some really good, talented girls. My prediction A GIRL WILL WIN IT THIS YEAR!

Now, believe it or not, with my busy schedule I don't really have a lot of time for TV, though I certainly could convince you otherwise I'm sure. But I DVR everything, and I watch while I'm loading / unloading the dishwasher or cooking dinner or folding laundry and then yah, I do try to allow myself a good hour to relax; and during my relaxation time the other night, I stumbled across a show that is so DIVINE, I am absolutely tickled PINK...
"RuPaul's Drag Race "season 2; just may be my new favorite show; right after "GLEE." I don't think that there's anyone who doesn't know who RuPaul is, but just in case you need a refresher, he /she is the 6'4" GLAMAZON who had the hit song "Supermodel" (You'd better work) in the 90's. She had a talk show on VH1, has done several guest spots in movies and was signed as the first covergirl for MAC cosmetics; making him the first drag queen supermodel. In short; I think that RuPaul is the most glamorous woman in show business. I love her ballsy (pardon the pun) sense of humor and her commanding personality, Oh, yes from one Queen to another, I think she is the hands down WINNER; and now she has a show on LOGO, that can also be seen on VH1. RuPaul's Drag Rce is a competition for drag queens. They typically have one challenge that they compete in as men and another where they have to get all suited up as their alter ego,drag queen personas; then finally, they do a runway competition which concludes with 2 of the contestants having to lip sync for their lives. Oh my God, can you say DELICIOUS!!! This show is nothing short of entertaining. It has the drama that only a room full of queens can bring, outrageous hair and makeup; and did I mention that the ladies MAKE most of their own costumes - move over "Project Runway." This show is da bomb babies; and I give kudos to Rupaul for keeping it real and always being true to herself. Truth be told, I spent way to long trying to find the perfect picture of RuPaul and I honestly although I've included a couple, I didn't find any that I thought did her justice; so just check out her show for yourself, and there will be no disputing my claim.

And while on the topic of "REALITY TV" I have to mention that I did in fact fall pray to MTV's "Jersey Shore." It was one of the umteen days that they were having a marathon, and yes indeedy I got sucked right in. I DVR'D it and i'll admit, was fascinated by the utter stupidity and classlessness of those that thought they were "IT!" To say that I feel sorry for their parents is an understatement, and to say that I just dated myself, may just prove that I had no business watching this show; but honestly I don't care, and i'll be sitting front and center for season 2, cause mindless entertainment can be a VERY good thing in these troubled times. If you haven't caught it; do I recommend it? Probably not. Go find RuPaul's show instead. But if you have seen it and are a fan of the "GTL", "Snookie," or "The Situation;" you'll know EXACTLY what I'm talking about; so go beat up the beat...

Lastly, I will mention the upcoming "Dancing With The Stars," as if I haven't gone on enough already...

Per Lesa, co-host Samantha Harris has left the show; and that's OK by me. Tom Bergeron is the best host ever and it won't realy matter who his co-host is; but in my opinion it should be Kelly Osborne, who was so extraordinarily entertaining and endearing last season. Got that ABC? I hear (per Lesa) that they are considering Brooke Burke and Melissa Rycroft and though either of them would be fine; I'd like to see them go with someone less predictable and more alive; so Kelly gets my vote; as if I have one...

And with that; I think i'll draw this commentary to a conclusion. I would LOVE to hear your thoughts on any or all of the show's that I've mentioned; especially if i've turned you on to something new. I hope that you all keep it REAL, and find some time to enjoy yourselves.
Till next time...

Queen of EVERYTHING