(43-229) What A Wonderful Weekend...

My last three days have just been ideal.  In "Walk the Walk," I told you about how I asked for, and was given a new job as a reunion coordinator.  In "Love Is In The Air,"  I told you that I met Mari for coffee and chat; and got a sassy pedicure.  In "Neon Bingo,"  I told you that I played BINGO with my girls, and then went out to dinner with Michelle; but until today, I haven't had the opportunity to tell you how delightful that dinner was.

Although Michelle and I try to get together a lot, we don't often get to spend time alone together and we wanted to go out to celebrate her recent divorce.  YES, CELEBRATE!
We decided to go to The Cheesecake Factory; and suffice it to say, we did not adhere to ANY diets.  Everything about this dinner was spectacular.  The company, the food, even our amusing 27 1/2 year old  waiter; who we joked around with throughout our meal.  Now because I know that many of you who read "TBR" are foodies; I'm going to tell you exactly what we ate; just don't count the calories for me.  We shared a couple of small plates (appetizers,) we had crab cake bites (which I HIGHLY recommend;) and fried artichoke hearts with a garlic aioli dipping sauce.   I LOVED the sauce and thought the artichokes were just OK; so it's not something that I would order again.   Michelle and I typically share meals, so that we can try two different things; so this time we decided on the Shrimp Scampi (another HIGHLY recommend) and the Hibachi Steak, (a Hanger steak with a Terriyaki type glaze) which I've had previously and also recommend.  The Hibachi steak was accompanied by two fried Asparagus spears; and that in and of itself, was an added bonus.  I'm sure that you think that we couldn't have eaten any more; but it was The Cheesecake Factory, and it is extraordinarily difficult to pass up dessert there.  We perused the menu and I was going to let Michelle name our poison; but since we were celebrating; we ordered two different kinds of cheesecake; took two bites then took the rest home.  Michelle chose The Ultimate Red Velvet Cake Cheesecake, which had "Moist layers of Red Velvet Cake, and Original Cheesecake, covered with special Cheesecake Factory cream cheese frosting."   I ordered the White Chocolate Caramel Macadamia Nut Cheesecake,  which had White Chocolate Chunk Cheesecake, Swirled with Macadamia Nuts and Caramel, on a Blond Brownie Crust.  There's only one thing that I can say about that cheesecake; OMG!  I absolutely have a new favorite cheesecake; as if , I NEED to have a NEW, FAVORITE, CHEESECAKE.  Truth be told; it's still in my fridge.  So I AM  showing some restraint.  We had Cappuccino with our cheesecake; and some of the best conversations that we've had in a while.  This was truly, a celebratory evening.

Lyndzi at age 3 1/2

Just when I thought my weekend couldn't get any better; I had the opportunity to go scrapbooking at my friend Lisa B's last night.  I haven't scrapbooked in what feels like forever, so I was so glad to be able to go.  Because I'm me, the world's SLOWEST scrapbooker; I didn't get much done at all; BUT, I absolutely adore the one layout that I completed and I had a great time seeing my friends.

What a WONDERFUL Weekend!!
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-227) Love Is In The Air

It's an absolutely, positively, beautiful day in Phoenix today.  The sun is shining; but not yet blistering.  There is a very slight breeze in the air; and we can walk around outside comfortably.  If these aren't signs that Spring break is about to begin; I don't know what is.

My kids and I have been counting down the days until Spring break; and when we arrived at school this morning, it was apparent that we were not the only ones.  The campus was buzzing; and everyone seemed energized with the promise that Spring break brings.  Who woulda thought that I would be as excited about having my kids at home for a week, as I was to be heading down to Daytona Beach, back in the day?  And yet, this is as good if not better!

I volunteered in Kelsie's class, and then met Mari for coffee, where I used my Starbuck's gift card that I'd gotten in my Christmas stocking ~ BONUS!  Mari and I sat and talked leisurely for about an hour and a half; and that was  nothing short of delightful.  I then went for my long, overdue pedicure, at Basic Elements.

I love going to Basic Elements, because I'm able to visit with my friend from swim team, Jenny K; while she does my pedicure.  When all was said and done, my feet looked human again, and my toes were a spectacular shade of green, with white polka dots ~ FUN!!  I wanted to share a picture of my toes with you; but Luis was so appalled by the idea, that I just couldn't go through with posting it.  I think his exact words were "oh great, the chopped up toe or the messed up toe;" and I just about died laughing.  Look it is, what it is.  If you've ever read "The Bumpy Ride " before then you know that my feet are NOT my best feature; but I don't let that stop me.  If you're new to "TBR" email me and I'll provide you with links for a number of posts that detail the various problems with my feet.  Anywho - I've got a sassy new pedicure, and I'm gonna show my toes off - just not on this blog.

But I digress... After my pedicure, I met Luis for lunch; and then picked up the kids from school.  It's now officially spring break ~ WOOHOO!!  
I talked with each of their kids about their day; and my nine year old, Lyndzi had some interesting news to share.   With a big ole smile on her face., Lyndzi told me that Hannah had asked (a boy I'll call) Luke who he liked; and Luke said "Don't tell (a boy I'll call) Tommy (who just happens to be his best friend;) but I like Lyndzi."  The reason that Luke didn't want anyone to tell Tommy, is because Tommy has openly admitted that he loves Lyndzi and plans to marry her.  In fact, his mom even told me that Tommy loves my daughter, and talks about her all of the time.  I knew that Lyndzi was pleased to hear that Luke liked her; because I had been suspecting that she liked him as well; which is REALLY interesting because a couple of months ago they had a lil run in.  Now I'm sad to say that Lyndzi herself, didn't tell me about this incident; I heard about it from her teacher.  One day after lunch, Lyndzi went to her teacher and told her that she thought she was being bullied.  her teacher asked what happened and she told him that Luke had come up to her and said "I wish that your name was Patty, so then I could say to you; Patty, Patty you're a fatty."   Her teacher spoke to Luke, and when he apologized to Lyndzi, she said "That's OK but don't do it again."  I was really proud to hear that she'd stood up for herself; though disappointed that I hadn't heard about this incident from her directly.  Anyway, a few weeks later, I started to hear that Luke wanted to sit next to her at lunch, and his name was being uttered more frequently in our home; so my mama's instinct kicked in.  Guess this proves that old adage about boys teasing and girls when they like them.

Fast forward to today... After Luke told Hannah AND Lyndzi, that he liked her; Hannah immediately spread the news to the other girls and then ya know what happened.  One of the lil girls ran over and shared the news with Tommy.  Lyndzi said that Tommy handled it well, but then at tech lab BOTH of the boys were trying to hug her.  Ahh, it's almost Spring, and thusly, love is in the air.  God help me!
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-191) A Spirit Lift

This has been A WEEK; for me; and by A WEEK; I mean it's been stressful.  I'm not going to give any details at all; let's just suffice it to say that I've learned a lot of lessons; which although painful, have also been necessary - and I'm ready to put it all behind me.  With that being said; I want to try and focus on the positive; on the things that are wonderful in my life; and the things that I have to look forward to. 

When I wrote "100 MORE Random Things About Me," #31 was, I make lists.  So in the interest of lifting my spirits, and reminding myself how LUCKY I am to be alive; and how fortunate I am for all that I have; I've compiled a top ten list of things that I am looking forward to; and I'm REALLY going to to try and focus on this:

1.  In just one week, we will be on our way to California, to spend the weekend with my cousin Jackie and family.  We are all SO elated and we just  can't wait!

2.  According to the Glamour Magazine essay contest rules; they were supposed to read the entries on or about February 1; so I'm remaining optimistic that I will hear from them soon; and if not, I will finally be able to share my essay with you.

3.  Getting my house in order.  The painting is ALMOST complete; and then everything will be able to get back into place; or in a new place.  I am really looking forward to seeing how it all turns out.

4.  The roller skating lesson.  It was supposed to be this coming Saturday, but we had to re-schedule for Feb. 19.  I am so happy to be able to give my kids the opportunity to have a positive skating experience; and I'm thrilled that a number of their friends will be joining them.

5.  The Oscars!  Pool or no pool (because I have no expectation of winning;) I just LOVE watching the Oscars. 

6.  "GLEE" "GLEE" and more "GLEE"  I have no interest in the Superbowl, whatsoever; but following the Superbowl will be an episode of "GLEE," and then back in it's regularly scheduled Tuesday time slot will be "GLEE;"  and for a GLEEk like me; that's something to smile about.

7.  My next pedicure.  I have an appointment with my friend Jenny, at Pure Elements; right after I finish work next Wednesday. Jenny does such an amazing job; and she's always fun to be around.  SO, shameless plug for Jenny, if anyone in the Peoria, Phoenix area wants to get a pedicure; I HIGHLY recommend making an appointment with her.

8.  Time off.  Of course I'm referring to the time that we're taking off to go to California; but in addition to our excitement about where and why we're going; it will be fantastic for the five of us to have time to relax together.

9.  Date day!  Luis and I will be celebrating an early Valentine's day tomorrow.  It seems like with all of the painting and things we've had going on, we haven't had a good bona fide date in several weeks and we are planning a special day for Friday.

10.  Just 175 days until I turn 44!  Need I say more?

Ahh!hh I took a deep breath; and I can honestly say that comprising this list has made me feel better.  It's put things in perspective; the things that are REALLY important.  Sure, there may be bumps in the road; but if everything was always straight and predictable; life would be kind of boring.  Don't get me wrong; I could use a little straight and predictable for a while; but I also know that when they occur, I am strong enough to weather any bumpy rides.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING 

(43-162) WHAT A GIRL!

When it comes to Kelsie, ya never know what you're gonna get; and it's not just because she's seven years old; it's because she's KELSIE!  Kelsie has been a force to be reckoned with since the moment that she was conceived.  She is wise beyond her years, temperamental as the day is long, stubborn, loving, considerate, perceptive, persistent and forthright.  Blah, blah, blah, blah blah.  I could go on and on and list every adjective there is; but for the sake of brevity; YES, brevity; I'll just leave the description at that; so that you can understand that she is unpredictable at best.  The ONLY thing that you can count on with Kels is that you never know how she's going to react or what she's going to do.  When you think something will bother her she shrugs it off; and when you think something isn't a big deal, she can give a world is coming to an end performance, worthy of an Academy award nomination.

Case in point...  Sunday night I decided to make 2 dinners; Chicken Parmigiana and meatballs.  The chicken parm was going to be for Sunday dinner, and the meatballs were going to be for a couple of nights during the week.  Well, several months ago, I taught the girls how to roll the meatballs, so I enlisted their help in doing so; while I prepared the chicken.  The girls had five pounds of meat that they needed to make into meatballs, and I thought that everything was going along fine, until I heard Kelsie say quizzically, "You put meat on my face?"  Lyndzi and I both burst out laughing at the same time; and Kelsie's hysterics immediately ensued.  The more that Lyndzi and I laughed, the louder Kelsie wailed.  I tried to explain that I didn't think that it was funny that Lyndzi had put meat on her face; and in between laughs, I told Lyndzi that she shouldn't have done that.  I tried to explain to Kelsie that I had only laughed because the way that she said "You put meat on my face,"  was so funny.  She didn't seem to care what I had to say.  She was already too invested in her meltdown; so I told her to go to her room to calm down.  After a few minutes, I sent Lyndzi up to apologize, but Kelsie wouldn't hear it.  Shortly thereafter, I tired to talk to her again; but she was just too far gone.  When she finally relented and came downstairs; I asked if she wanted to finish making her meatballs, but she wouldn't answer me.  I calmly asked the same question three times; but when she refused to speak, I took it upon myself to make the remainder of the meatballs.
A few minutes later, as I was cooking, Kelsie came over, still quite teary eyed, and said that she wanted to make the meatballs.  I explained that I had already finished, and that she would have to make them next time, and with that, she jumped up and down a number of times and screamed that she wanted to make the meatballs.  I couldn't believe my eyes. 
Kelsie needed to cool off; literally, so she took her little self out to the backyard and stood there in her misery.  Nicky and Lyndzi went out to join her; and when she felt calm enough, she came in and told me that she had wanted to make the meatballs and she asked if I would flatten some of the meat, so that SHE could make them.  I told her that I was very sorry that she had gotten so upset, but I wasn't going to flatten the meat and give her a chance to make them, after the way that she'd behaved.  She tried to convince me to do it; but I held my ground.  I reminded her that I had asked her three times and she had refused to answer me; and that people who carry on as she had, do not get their way.  She gave me a big hug, and apologized and by dinner time she was back to her calmer self.

When Kelsie got up for school on Monday morning; she was uncustomarily agreeable; so I wondered what was up.  I commented that I liked how cooperative she was being, and she was pleased.  When I picked her up from school, the positive behavior continued; as it did all day Tuesday and Wednesday; and although I didn't want to jinx it, or call attention to it; I was compelled to ask Kelsie about her marvelous mood.  She said that she'd noticed it as well and that she didn't know why she was behaving as nicely as she had been, but she liked it.

Now like I said before, Kelsie can turn out an Academy award winning performance; so when she's all sweetness and light; I do take it with a grain of salt; BUT, she said something to me last night, that just blew my mind and warmed my heart and even though I'm often impressed by Kelsie, this time I was in awe. 
I had told Kelsie that her friend Natalia, could spend the night on Friday night.  Kels asked if she should come home from school with her, and I explained that we might have pedicure appointments, so we should probably pick her up once we were done.  Now, it's important for you to know that Kelsie was going to pay for her own pedicure, with some of the birthday / Christmas money that she'd received and when I pointed out that it wouldn't be fun for Natalia to sit through our pedicures, Kelsie said, "well, I could treat her."  And my heart smiled.  What generosity, what thoughtfulness, what compassion; WHAT A GIRL!  I told Kelsie that I was SO proud of her for suggesting that, but I didn't think that it was necessary; and she was OK with that.

Oh Kelsie is my little roller coaster.  We go up, we go down, we scream at the top of our lungs, and we laugh; and seriously, I wouldn't change a thing.  Kelsie is a feisty little individual; who does as she pleases.  So I guess that it should have come as no surprise, that when we got our pedicures tonight; Kelsie chose two colors, a deep green blue, and a neon pink, and she had Jenny at Pure Elements, use both colors on alternating toes; AND put white polka dots on each toe.  I suggested that she settle on one color; but she knew EXACTLY what she wanted; and since it was her money; I wasn't going to try and change her mind.  In the long run, her toes looked terrific; and they truly represent exactly who she is; an original, a free thinker; MY DAUGHTER!

Till next time...

Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-68) Quality Time With Kelsie

Kelsie is a PIP, there's no doubt about it.  She is probably the most complex of my 3 kids; because with Nicky and Lyndzi, whatchya see is pretty much what ya get; but Kelsie is another story altogether.  Kelsie is the most challenging of the 3.  Although they all are extremely, bright; Kelsie has a mind like a steel trap and she is ALWAYS thinking.
Kelsie will argue with you with inconceivable, conviction for a six year old; and  she will also defend anyone who she believes is in need of assistance.  Despite the fact that she's the youngest of my three kids; Kelsie is typically their spokesperson.  She has little to no fear of anything; from the word "no" to a speeding roller coaster.  Nothing is high enough or fast enough for Kelsie; (she must get that from her Titi Michele;) because both Luis and I are wimps when it comes to height and speed and Nicky and Lyndzi aren't much better.  Nicky and I will at least ride Space Mountain at Disneyland; but Luis and Lyndzi wouldn't even consider it; and then there's Kelsie!!
I've written before about Kelsie's antics and strong will; but I've also shared stories about her kind heart; and profound compassion.  Kelsie makes life interesting for sure and her unpredictability constantly keeps us on our toes. 
Kelsie and I spend more ALONE time together than my other kids and I do; because Kelsie likes to go shopping with me.  Part of me thinks that she wants to accompany me because she thinks she can talk me into getting her something; but the other part of me sincerely believes that she comes along so that I won't be alone.  Now even though Kelsie and I spend a great deal of time together, today was something special.
All 3 kids had been invited to spend the night at my friend Arlene's house; but Luis and I didn't think that Kelsie was ready to; so only Nicky and Lyndzi stayed.  Kelsie understood that the time wasn't right for her and that we didn't think that Nicky and Lyndzi had to forfeit the opportunity, just because she is six; but on the ride home, Kelsie cried inconsolably.  Luis and I reminded her that I had promised to take her out to breakfast today and that the kids would be home in the afternoon; but she was still very sad and cried throughout taking her shower.  I went to check on her and as she sobbed, she asked if we could talk about it in the morning.  I cuddled with her until she fell asleep and in the morning she asked if we could cuddle again.  While we were holding each other on the couch, Kelsie explained that she had been crying because she wasn't / isn't used to being home without Nicky and Lyndzi and she missed them.  She explained quite eloquently, that even when Nicky is on the computer in the other room, she still knows that he's here; and that Lyndzi is her constant companion and she doesn't like being without her.  My heart smiled; and I embraced Kelsie; my sage, six year old. 

Kelsie and I went to breakfast at Mimi's cafe.  She had won a super student award last year, and this seemed like a great opportunity to collect her free meal.  Mimi's was very crowded, as it usually is on a Sunday morning.  I asked how long the wait would be and the hostess said 15-20 minutes; which we didn't think was bad; but just as Kelsie and I were helping ourselves to complimentary fruit punch and coffee; the hostess called my name.  I couldn't believe it because there was no way that more than 2 minutes had elapsed since we'd been given our pager; but we were the only "Paige" to walk up to the hostess station; and so we were promptly seated.
Kelsie used her best restaurant manners and politely ordered chocolate chip pancakes and milk.  She shared the coffee cake muffin that came with my quiche; and we zestfully, played Tic Tac Toe.  After finishing breakfast Kels and I went for pedicures and she sat most cordially, as her feet were being cared for.  Kelsie was sociable and courteous and she conducted herself like a little lady. I couldn't have been prouder.

We called Arlene after completing our pedicures, and she said that the kids were having a great time playing; so there was no need to rush to pick them up.  Even though Kelsie was anxious to see her brother and sister; she graciously agreed that we'd do our grocery shopping before going to get them.  Kelsie was on her best behavior while we were in the store and I told her how much I'd enjoyed our special day together and she said that she had as well.

We picked up Nicky and Lyndzi and shared stories of our time apart.  Kelsie was very eager to play with Lyndzi and they laughed and entertained themselves until dinner was ready. 

Kelsie and I had a very full day.  It was wonderful to enjoy her company without being challenged or exasperated; and I think that she felt the same way, because when she came to kiss me goodnight; she said "Good night my sweet, little pumpkin;"  and once again; my heart smiled.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

One Way or Another

At this point, if anyone asks you what "The BumpyRide" is about, you can pretty much just say FEET.  Now I know that people don't really want to read endless stories about my abusive pedicures, my in-grown toe nails, and all the other feet fiascos that I have shared; but the truth is that I haven't posted a blog in over a month; and SEVERAL of the reasons (ok excuses) why, have to do with my feet.  Yes, one way or another, it ALL seems to be about my feet.   I'm hoping that maybe, just maybe, this can be the last foot post for a while and I can get on to more important things; like writing a regular blog about thoughts and events that have nothing to do with my feet.

With so much time to cover I hardly know which way to go; which of course is one of the EXCUSES that I am using for not posting.  I thought about giving you a top ten list of the reasons that I haven't written, but alas, the excuses are not all that funny.  The first week that I didn't post -  I needed the time (that I would have spent blogging) to do my Oscar research.  I reasoned that I had a better chance of making money in my Oscar pool than I did writing my blog that week; and so I explored my Oscar options; only to wind up coming in right in the middle of the pack and hence no money was earned.  Yes, yes, it's always fun; but as much as I was looking forward to the broadcast, I was disappointed by Alec and Steve; and therefore, wrote no Oscar blog this year.  I will say that my heart goes out to Sandra Bullock, who won the WELL DESERVED, Best Actress Oscar for The Blind Side.  Oh poor Sandra appeared at every award show there was, commending her saintly, husband Jesse James for getting dressed up in a monkey suit and enduring all of the award festivities.  She said that it was the first time that she knew what it was like for someone to have her back (she even upheld that statement to Barbra Walters;) but unfortunately while he was supposed to have Sandra's back, he was having various body parts of other women as well.  I know that when you're famous your business becomes the world's business and typically it's bad enough when a celeb is cheated on and the world finds out about it; but to have publicly praised your husband left and right and then have this news come to light - UGGHH! To quote my friend Dawn, "She truly was blind sided!"

Ok, so for someone who didn't know what to write about, this is certainly a lot easier than I thought, but for brevity's sake (ok, who am I kidding) I am going to need to sum this up in a nutshell; so here goes.  I've been BUSY, VERY busy.  I've been perfecting my Pot Roast, crucifying a corned beef, I taught myself how to make baked beans, pulled pork AND cream cheese frosting (from scratch.)  I've baked numerous batches of brownies and cupcakes, gone on field trips and had kids home for Spring Break.  I've been making cards, jewelry, and flower hair clips. I've colored Easter eggs, shopped for Easter basket fixins, prepared Easter dinner and stuffed plastic eggs with money for our Easter egg hunt.   I've been shopping for clothes for 4 peole for 2 weddings, helped with speeches and unlimited homework, gone to the gym, (though not nearly enough) and had my hard drive crash.   I backed my car up into a landscaping truck and shattered my back windshield, And around the time of the Oscar's I knew I was developing yet another in-grown toe nail.  I could hear the Podiatrist's words clear in my head "as soon as you start to get an in-grown toe nail, come in and we'll take care of it for you before it gets infected."  Oh yah, I heard the words but I ignored them; not because I didn't want to go to the doctor, but because I didn't want to pay the $40 co-pay.  So I tried to heal myself; and I'm sure you know what happened.  I wound up in the Podiatrist's office and I was as embarrassed as could be.  I decided that I would take one of my kids with me, because I was very nervous and I thought that I would put on a braver face if one of them was there.  I also thought that I'd feel comforted having one of them with me.  We talked about it and deduced that Nicky couldn't be the one to go because he cries when I get upset.  Lyndzi interestingly enough had no interest in going, but Kelsie stepped right up and volunteered.    Kelsie grabbed a pack of M& M's, (which I told her she couldn't eat until AFTER we were done at the doctor's office) and we were on our way.  While we were in the examining room Kelsie pulled out her pack of M&M's and when I reminded her that she had to wait to eat them, she started to get ornery..  I explained that the examining room was sanitary and not a place to eat; to which she responded by pouting.  The wonderful Dr. Moyer came in and I told him how nervous and emabarrassed I was, but he put me right at ease.  He told me that he was going to give me a shot to numb my toe and the rest would be a piece of cake.  I reminded him about my HUGE fear of needles and he was as gentle as could be.  Once the doctor left the room so I could numb up; much to my surprise Kelsie started to cry.  She couldn't exlpain exactly why; but nonetheless she was crying.  The nurse came in and assured her that I was going to be fine and that the worst part was over; but she just kept crying.  The nurse then asked her if she wanted a cookie and Kelsie gave me a very dubious look.  I told her that she could have it, and the next thing I knew, the nurse handed Dr.Moyer a couple of cookies and a couple of Red Vines and asked him to give them to Kelsie.  Suffice it to say that she stopped crying and sat happy as a clam eating her treats, all the while giving me that "told you so" look.    Dr. Moyer removed the in-grown toe nail and told me that there was a 95% chance that it would not grow back. Well I can probably start writing THAT blog now... 
So basically my plan to save $40 wound up costing me $80 since of course there was a follow up visit, but I must say that I have recovered beautifully; SO much so that  this past friday I actually went for my first pedicure since December.   I  was SO proud of myself becuase I got online and looked for reviews of places in my area.  (This is NOT something that I typically do; but BOY am I glad that I did.)  I found a place called Model Nails, not very far from my house (67th & Peoria for those of you who are local to me.)  The reviews raved about the owners / sisters Tracy and Lisa  and how they took their time with each customer and made them feel special.  They also mentioned Tracy's beautiful artwork but cautioned patrons that you rarely got to pick YOUR design; as Tracy typically decided what to give you.  Well, I thought this sounded perfect for me.  I gave them a call and was in their shop within the hour.  I had told Tracy that my feet were in bad shape and in need of a lot of repair; but she didn't agree with me, or grimace or scoff or make me feel bad.  She just said "we'll take care of it."  I felt so comfortable, so at ease, so grateful that I had found a shop where I didn't have to keep apologizing for my feet.  I told her about my 2 in-grown toe nail experiences, and the dislocated joint, and the Scary feet story; and she just sympathized.  We were nearing the end of the pedicure and Tracy asked if I wanted a flower.  Of course I said yes; and much to my delight she pulled out a couple of little boxes with sample designs.  I chose a beautiful rose and she politely said "NO."  she explained that because the December in-grown toe nail toe nail had not fully grown back yet, the design would call more attention to it.  She then picked out the design that I was to have and I thought this was hysterical.  Here you pick, nope you can't have that; I'll pick.  Guess that reviewer was right - but I don't care.  Model nails is the place for me!!

Now, the reason that I was so anxious to get a pedicure; besides for the fact that my  feet looked like I had just crawled out of a cave; was because I had my cousin's wedding to go to on Sunday.  It took me forever to find something to wear ( which is yet another EXCUSE for not writing my blog).  Wedding clothes shopping had taken over our lives for 2 weeks; so wedding shopping accounts for 2 missed blogs (if you're keeping track.)  Ok, so I got something to wear, and I was under the impression that I had shoes; but when I tried them on, my feet hurt.  It was now the day before the wedding and I was IN TROUBLE as that allusive size 12 shoe was nowhere to be found.  I put my thinking cap on and remembered that I had a pair of red sandals that I loved, that would work with my skirt and top if only I  had a red tank top; so I spent a whole $3, picked up a red tank at Walmart and my outifit looked GOOD!  I was so excited about the whole "Red" thing because in May we're going to my sister-in-laws wedding in Mexico and I bought my girls these BEAUTIFUL black and white dresses that have a red ribbon and I  thought we'd now look very coordinated.   WELL, as you know, nothing goes smoothly where I'm involved and this morning when I went to the kitchen to get some water, I found that my dog, (who has never destroyed a shoe in her life) ruined one of my red sandals.  I couldn't believe it - although I don't know why I was surprised.  I was dumbfounded at first, then angry; but in the long run I love my dog so I tried to justify her behavior.  Maybe she's a fashion dog.  Maybe she thought that I was mistaken to wear the red sandals and the only way that she could save me from myself was to destroy the shoe.  Maybe she saved me, just like she saved this blog by giving me the perfect ending to my neverending feet saga.  What can I say; one way or another these feet of mine are nothing but trouble.

Till next time...

Queen of Everything

Scary Feet

I have previously written of the various problems with my feet; but just in case they are not at the forefront of your mind or you have not taken "The Bumpy Ride" before, I will remind you:

1. I have very long feet. Size 12 (OK, probably 12 1/2 in a perfect shoe world.)

2. I have extremely narrow feet - Quadruple A.

3. I have a hammer toe.

4. I have flat feet.

5. I have a slight fungus on one of my big toes.

6. I recently suffered a joint dislocation to the aforementioned hammer toe.

7. I frequently suffer from in-grown toe nails.

On other occasions I've written about embarrassing pedicures, premature pedicure ruination, difficulty finding shoes, accidentally going out in public wearing 2 different shoes, and my hammer toe injury and NO, this is not becoming an ALL FOOT blog; but all of this information is pertinent to my latest foot fiasco; which of course I have to share with you.

The other night some friends and I went over to our friend Lisa B's house to scrapbook. We hadn't seen or spoken to each other in quite some time, so a good portion of the evening was spent catching up. Lesa G and I were planning our much needed return to the gym and of course I had to justify my exercise sabbatical by recounting the story of my injured toe, for those who weren't up to date on may ailment. The discussion of my toe and my visits to the Podiatrist inspired others to tell of their Podiatric pasts. I learned that many of them (or their family members) had been plagued by in-grown toe nails and once they told me how they were permanently removed, I felt an extraordinary sense of relief; because it seems that after almost every pedicure I develop an in-grown toe nail that hurts like a mother trucker; and alas, THERE IS A CURE IN SITE.

The topic of in-grown toe nails prompted me to tell the ladies the following story; which they asked me to repeat, over and over and over again; thus leading me to conclude that THIS was a story that I needed to blog.

We had been planning to go to Disneyland for Lyndzi's birthday, and for about a week or two prior to our trip, we had been experiencing particularly cold weather for this part of the country. The temperature concerned me because I thought that I would have to wear closed toe shoes in the park (as opposed to flip flops) and in addition to closed toe shoes not being conducive to my injured toe; it was going to be very difficult for me to wear them because of the excruciating pain that I was experiencing in one of my big toes, due to a in-grown toe nail. I had told Luis about my toe and he agreed to try and take care of it for me, but we never seemed to find the time for that; so Queen of HIGH PAIN TOLERANCE that I am, sucked it up and went on. I made it through our day at Disney, but by the next day my affliction was even worse. I remebered that In May when I had gone to California for Rachel' Ks birthday, I had a pedicure with Kim; (who Rachel sees regularly;) and since we were going to be spending the night at Rachel's, I asked her to call Kim to see if she could get me an appointment; as I thought that a trusted and experienced nail technician could at least alleviate some of discomfort. And although I knew that her treatment would not be the same as going to a Podiatrist, I was willing to endure anything to get some relief. Thankfully Kim was able to see me, and so Rachel, Hershey and I went for my appointment. First I explained that she was going to have to be very careful with my injured toe, because it was still very painful; then I went on to tell her about the in-grown toe nail and lastly I apologized profusely for the overall condition of my feet, because they kind of looked like I had just crawled out of a cave.

Kim got to work on the in-grown and although it was as painful as I expected; I let out a HUGE sigh of relief when she was done. She then looked at the heels of my feet and asked every pedicurists favorite question (please read this in your best Vietnamese accent...) "You want callous remova?" I said "No thank you" and (get your accent on,) Kim replied "Your husband must scream when he get in bed with you at night, because your feet so scary!" Oh my God, did Rachel and I laugh. And, no, I wasn't even insulted because at that point I was so indebted for her help that she could have told me that Sasquatch had nothing on me, and I wouldn't have cared. Nonetheless, I offered my defense by saying that I am VERY hard on my feet. That I have very big feet which makes it difficult for me to find comfortable / fashionable shoes and so I typically wear flip flops which are not the best hygienically speaking and when I wasn't in flip flops I was bare footed and so even when I had gotten the callous remover in the past; within 2 days my feet were back to looking "scary" anyway; so I wanted to save the $5 for a flower instead. And, so we moved on. Kim asked if I wanted to have a manicure too, and though I had no nails to speak of, I told her that I was so grateful for her help and her time that other than a back wax, she could do whatever else she wanted. And so, with Hershey on my lap, Kim completed my pedicure, gave me a lovely manicure, and asked if I wanted my eyebrows waxed. I agreed and I laid down on the table, only to have Kim ask (accent please) "You never wax eyebrows before?" Oh my, that's 2. I assured her that I did get my eyebrows waxed, I just hadn't done so very recently. I took a big ole gulp of my pride and tried to relax; but Hershey was crying while Rachel was trying to hold her for me, and so I conceded to allow Hershey to lay on my stomach while Kim ripped the excess hair from my brows.

I left Kim's feeling like a new woman. My toe was already doing a million times better, my nails looked splendid and my eyebrows were refreshed. I'd say that was all worth the price of my plight.

Till next time...

Queen of EVERYTHING

No Need for Frank Costanza

Disclaimer: This blog may contain a little TOO MUCH personal information.

My feet are the vain of my existence; now there's an opening statement for you.
In almost every way that feet can cause someone a problem, mine do. For starters they are a whopping size 12 PLUS. I say size 12 PLUS, because even my size 12 shoes, do not seem to be fitting me lately, whereas I suspect that a size 12 1/2 would do the trick; (like those are so easy to come by.) Luckily for me, my feet are very narrow, Quadruple A to be exact,so at least I don't have wide and long to contend with, although most shoemakers seem to equate long with wide and many times I only see size 12W; thank you very much. Michelle (Not yet legally) K, has been referring to my feet s "Grinch Feet" for years; because she believes they resemble those of Dr. Seuss' beloved character. As a matter of fact, last night I even heard her address Nicky as "Grinch foot jr." LOL Let's put it this way - My feet are such a spectacle, that right after I gave birth to Nicky; I was still laying on the delivery table and the nurses had taken him to clean him off and do his APGAR, and all of a sudden I hear them say "Whose feet are these?" And in an exhausted, just gave birth for the first time voice, I said "MINE." I mean I hadn't even SEEN his feet yet; but I just knew that if they were comment worthy, they must look like mine.
Anyway, in addition to my increasing foot size, I have; oh this is embarrassing to admit, (but I was born with it, so it's not like it's my fault) a hammer toe on my right foot; and lastly I seem to be beleaguered with in grown toe nails quite often. Don't I sound attractive? Those of you who have never met me are completely grossed out by now I'm sure and those of you who don't know me are probably just shocked that I am willing to humiliate myself in this way, just for the sake of getting a laugh.

So let's move on. Back in the day, when I would go to Vallarta; (the day being when I was single and in my twenties;) my trips would consist of laying out by the pool, shopping, going out to dinner and DANCING, DANCING, DANCING. Suffice it to say that now that I have been married for 13 1/2 years and am the mother of 3; my Vallarta activities have changed slightly; hence our Saturday night activity of Luis, 2 of his sisters and my niece, working on removing my ingrown toe nail. OK, so it went a little something like this. I felt like I had an ingrown toe nail on my right big toe (Not to be confused with my left big toe nail which is getting ready to fall off due to a combination of fungus - I know, I just keep digging myself in deeper; AND the fact that twice I have dropped something heavy on it; so right, get the visual, the upper portion of the nail, is like deadened yellow, and the bottom portion is purplish, black - I'll give you a sec to run to the bathroom and vomit, before I continue.
(Sound of Jeopardy music plays - Doo, do doo, do doo, do do...)
OK, so ingrown toe nail. We're sitting on the porch on Saturday morning and I ask Luis to check and see if one of his sister's has a nail clipper and I tell him about my toe hurting. Surprise, surprise, he doesn't ask; so I go and find one for myself and ask him to help a sister out. He snips a piece off, but we both realized it was going t require a smaller clipper, and he did agree to ask someone if they had one. A few hours later I'm lying upstairs in the hammock, reading a book, and here comes Luis and 2 of his sisters. In Spanish, they are discussing my toe and trying to convince me to go to the Doctor, and let him give me a shot and remove the toenail. Oh Hell to the NO. There is NO way this is going to be happening. You know me; I am the Queen of Fearing Shots. Remember me, Woman who had 3 kids and no epidural or drugs (partly because of my huge fear of SHOTS) like I'M going to agree to this - Hell no. I explained that I didn't think this was as big a problem as they thought it was and that I usually had it taken care of when I got a pedicure. I told them that I thought we could handle this at home. So Luis, my niece and I trotted off to the pharmacy in search of the proper tools and such to cure my problem. Oh, this family was in their glory, let me tell you; they LOVE a project. One sister boiled water for me to soak my toe, then after sufficient soaking, Luis began clipping the nail (I know, you gotta love a man who'll clip your toe nails - and ladies he is all mine!) Anyway, I believe he got all of the ingrown toe nail out, and then my niece went to work. She mixed an Ampicilan capsule with some Bacitracin like ointment, put it on my toe and wrapped my toe in gauze in a way that would have put friggin Florence Nightingale to shame. And voila! My toe was better; and imagine that; I didn't even need a shot.

SO, now, let's fast forward a couple of weeks and it is now just the other night and my friend Jenny and I go to get pedicures. A few months ago, we found a place by my house and we really like it. It's nothing fancy; but they take competitors coupons, and you know how much I get a rush out of having a coupon. Also, they are really nice. EVEN with the state of my feet - I hardly ever feel like they are talking about me. So Jenny and I are driving over and I warned her that my left toe nail was just about ready to come off and that I thought this was going to be gruesome on many different levels. I did tell her that I was sure that it was just a blog waiting to happen; and yah, heck yah, I was NERVOUS!
SO I get the gentleman pedicurist that I never had before, and before he could take my polish off, I warned him about my left big toe. He removed the polish, and of course it was just as beautiful as we expected. He put my foot back in the water and began to take the polish off my right foot; and as he's working on my big toe, he says "Who did this to you?" Referring to my mutilated nail, I'm sure. So I said "Well, it's a long story," and I just told him that I'd had an ingrown toe nail while I was on vacation and my husband tried to fix it for me. He seemed relieved that I wasn't blaming it on a previous trip to his shop. I don't know about you normal feeted people, but whenever I am getting a pedicure; I feel the need to apologize; A LOT. So I'm doing my usual, "I'm so sorry, I know my feet are ugly, gross etc, etc;" (I mean between the fungus/dead nail, the mishapen nail, and the healing blisters which make my feet look like they have acne) I mean who wouldn't apologize?? So then what happens... he starts speaking in Vietnamese, (Big Surprise!) But in a low murmur. I said "Excuse me, are you talking to me?" To which he replied "No, I'm talking to her." Indicating the pedicurist who was working on Jenny. I asked if he was telling her how bad my feet were and he said "Why should I have to tell her when she can see what I'm working on?" OH MY GOD, dissed by the pedicure man - it was so funny, I just had to laugh, and laugh; because I know he meant it in the nicest way that someone could mean something like that. Just like the time I asked the Vietnames woman who used to cut my hair if she thought I should cut my hair short adn she said "No, becasue then you will have a little head on a big body." Why do people feel compelled to say these things to me?? LOL Anyway, the woman working on Jenny went on to say "You know,if someone had clean feet; they wouldn't come here. They come because they need their feet cleaned up." I thought this too was very nice. See, no need for Frank Costanza at this pedicure place. LOL Remember that "Seinfeld" episode when Elaine took George's dad to the pedicure place because he spoke Vietnamese (from when he was in the war;) and she wanted to see if the pedicurists were talking about her and they said "where is his tail;" and he lost it, and busted them for what they said and they accused Elaine of bringing in a spy... Too funny. Well no need for Frank Costanza here. These pedicurists tell you like it is to your face; and I respect that. HAHAHA - only me.
Anyway, I'm sure your curiosity is getting the better of you so let me conclude by telling you that the left nail was NOT ready to come off or be removed; Hallelujah! So I have saved myself that pain and embarrassment for a little while. My pedicure man said that it will come off on its own and then it won't hurt - I sure hope he's right; but at the very least it will give me a whole other blog; I'm sure.

Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

Shiny Nails

This weekend, I was the Queen of Pathetic. Although in retrospect, I'm not quite sure that I should limit it to just this weekend; you see I do stuff like this ALL THE TIME.

So, Michelle K and I went to go get pedicures at Shiny Nails. We had gone there once previously to get our pedicures etc. before Michelle's wedding in Vegas (Feb 10.)
Anyway, I say to Michelle "When you make the appointments, please request Lee for me because that is who I had last time, and she did a good enough job, and I would hate to go in there and have her put a hex on me if I was using someone else; or have her talk about me even more than they do." You guessed it, Shiny Nails is not operated by fully English speaking women; need I say more?

OK so Michelle and I get our pedicures. We got the exact same design (though different colors) because the lady sitting next to Michelle had gotten it and we thought it was super. Coincidentally, the color I picked was Lee's favorite. I know because she told me "Dat my favrit culah." Go figure. All the culahs in the store, and I pick Lee's favorite... Now because I opt to get the "special" heel reparation as Lee has advised me that I really need this, it will be good for me; Michelle finishes first.

By the time I was done, Michelle was already dry. Lee said "You can go if you will be very careful." To which I replied "Oh no, I need to dry a for a few minutes because after spending all this money on my toes, I don't wanna mess it up." So I sit to dry and Michelle runs over to the supermarket. She comes back, and well, we NEED coffee. So we walk to my car with the cart she has used from the supermarket. After we put the bags in the car. I take the cart to return it, (well, to the curb, ) and I announce "Our toes look GOOOOD!!" (Aha, just like that "Our toes look GOOOD!!;) and with that, I go to raise the cart to the curb using my foot, and you guessed it, RUINED my pedicure. Well it was SO pathetic that we had to laugh. And there I was in the street trying to retrieve one of the rhinestones that fell off my big toe. I felt like SUCH a MORON. I just cannot be trusted. I truly am my own worst enemy. Anyway, of course I had to go back in and they kindly fixed it for me; but you know they were talking about me, and heck , I deserved it - this time.
Again I say to you; who could make this stuff up?
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING