Incident # ??

So Michelle (Still, not yet legally) K; and her husband had been talking to my husband and I about switching our phone, Internet and cable service from Cox to Qwest and Dish Network. Considering that they were the ones who had fostered our switch to Cox for all of the above a few years ago, I usually look into whatever they suggest. Anyway, since my husband is from Mexico and Michelle and Mike are not; we need to have a calling plan to Mexico and they don't; so I did need to call and get some info on my own. Well, I called Cox to find out EXACTLY what services I currently have, so that I could compare it to Qwest when they gave me my quote. Now, I'm no fan of Cox, since they still seem to think that they are the only game in town and discontinue services at their will, yadda yadda; but they did give me all of my info in great detail. So I called Qwest and spoke with some inept buffoon, who obviously didn't care about working there and sighed heavily each time I asked a question. The Whiz quoted me $67.98 for my phone (w/ unlimited US long distance) and Internet at 1.5 MB's. I told the Whiz that I was a little surprised at the speed of the Internet since my speed with Cox is 7 MB's; and he tried to tell me that 1.5 is faster. OK - I am admittedly, Not the Queen of Computers, so I let that one go. Then I asked him how much it would be for us to call Mexico, and after pausing a moment; the Whiz told me that it would be $35 a month. OK - so you know I laughed a hearty laugh and then I told him that I didn't think this could be possible. He asked me to hold on, came back and told me that it would be an additional $2.00 a month and then 10 cents a minute to both Mexico and the US (so I wouldn't have unlimited US LD anymore) but $20 would be dropped off the rate. So I understood him to mean it would be $47.98 plus $2.00 plus 10 cents a minute. We hung up, and I did the math and yah, not such a great deal. So I called back. This time I got a woman Thank GOD and I told her that I needed to clarify some information about their rates. Now I know that you're going to be shocked by this; but, the Whiz was wrong. I know, I know, hard to believe, but true. Turns out, the calls to the US are still unlimited, you still pay $67.98 but you also pay $2.00 a month to entitle you to the 10 cent per minute to Mexico deal. OK, now that's more like it. Things were looking good. I'd definitely be saving some money on the phone and Internet services; but what of this difference 1.5 vs. 7 MB's??
My husband came home and I gave him the info about Qwest. I told him about the MB's and he told me that 1.5 was definitely a lot slower. He asked if I was sure that he didn't say 1.5 GB's? Well, I was kinda sure. No, no, I was sure. But then I read this flyer from Qwest, talking up their 1.5 Silver Internet plan and it said up to 2 GB's of storage; so I thought "Maybe that is what he said," and once again I called back.
The gentleman answered the phone by saying "This is Patrick. How may I provide you with excellent service today?" Hmm, "I like the sound of that" I thought, "excellent customer service as opposed to Cox' whimsy; this is gonna be good." I VERY cheerfully said "Hi Patrick; I am a previous customer and I've called a couple of times today and I'm just trying to clarify some information that I was given. I was told that your 1.5 Silver Internet plan is 1.5 MB's but my current plan with another carrier is 7 MB's and then I read your flyer that said up to 2 GB's of storage; so I'm wondering is it 1.5 MB's or GB's?" To which Patrick replied "How are you getting speed and storage mixed up?" OK, close your mouths, that IS exactly what he said. Well you know the Queen was not gonna tolerate that insubordination so I told him. "That was very rude and uncalled for." (Wow, fierce response huh?) To which he replied "I'm sorry if you thought that I was rude ma'am; there's just no accounting for insecurities." Say it with me "OH NO HE DIDN'T!!" But yes; he did. So of course you all know what I said next; "Get me your supervisor because it is obvious that you DO NOT know how to provide EXCELLENT service." I waited on hold for what seemed like an eternity and I was convinced that he had just put me on perpetual hold until after several minutes a supposed supervisor got on the line. (I say supposed because when I did a stint in the call center at my office; whenever a customer would want to complain and ask for a supervisor, we'd all just look at each other and say "Hey, wanna be my supervisor?" and then someone else would take the call. So word to the wise, forethemostpart, there is NO SUCH THING as customer service. But, taking a chance that Qwest; being so interested in providing EXCELLENT customer service, would actually care that they had a failing employee, I told the supervisor that in the course of 30 seconds, Patrick was rude, disrespectful and insulting. I encouraged him to play back the tape and explained that I didn't know we all had to be IT aficionados in order to purchase Qwest's services. It was absolutely fine for me to have questions and Patrick in his infinite wisdom didn't understand that. Patrick, who is SO SUPERIOR that he has to work in CS for Qwest; guess he must have just moonlighting from his job at the think tank.

Anyway, it turns out that in fact Qwest was only offering 1.5 MB's which does seem significantly slower than Cox' 7; so for now I'm going to stick with Cox. I tell you though, it all goes back to that Squeaky wheel syndrome. People just don't care about their mediocre jobs; and I find it SO sad that this punk would fancy himself so smart that he would believe that he could get these insults by me without me even noticing; but he messed with the wrong one. I am the Queen of Wise cracks and smart talk and I'm usually pretty quick on my feet when it comes to a sassy retort; but this was just totally uncalled for. Like I said; I was even cheerful goddammit.
I'm not sure what it is about me that invites "customer service" people to insult me without provocation; but if there is a mishap to be had, ya' know, I'm gonna have it. That's me Queen of Mishaps. Queen of Incidents. But definitely, without a doubt; NOT Queen of Computers.

Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING