Thursday, October 11, 2007

Here we go again...

Hey, Hey Hey (a little "What's Happening" reference for you.) It seems like it's been forever. Part of my distance may have been blogger's block, or maybe I'm just using that as an excuse because it was more like blogapobia: fear of rejection of your blog (things seem to have gone downhill with my blogging since the posting of my Why Disney blog; and by downhill I mean, like 1 comment.LOL) Seriously, I think my blogaphobia meant that I was afraid to disappoint my 4 readers, hahaha. I've given it a lot of thought,(as I always do, being the Queen of Over thinking) and it seems to me that people seem to enjoy the tales of my insanity and ridiculous experiences and by enjoy I mean; they leave comments. Ah yes, tis the fragile ego of this blogging Queen who seeks encouragement and validation in the form of comments on my blog.

I equate enjoying my blog with rubbernecking; you know, what many people do when they see a car accident. Traffic tends to slow down because the drivers are looking at the accident; but instead reading my blog is like peering into an accident. The accident that is the ridiculous and bizarre things that tend to happen to me and not the average Joe or Josie. Well, it is a Bumpy Ride so I say rubberneck all you like; just please let me know that you're doing so from time to time.

So anyway, of course a few things have happened that I have considered blog worthy, but I have been even more crazy, busy than usual and I never made it to the computer to share them with you. But today something happened and I knew, I just knew that I had to share it but I really didn't think I'd find the time; so I opted to call a few friends instead and try to just tell them what had happened. Well, I tried to call 4 friends, that's right 4 friends and one I even tried twice and not a one was home (or at least they didn't pick up the phone - Damn caller ID.) LOL Anyway, I thought this might be a sign that indeed this story needed to be blogged instead and then it happened. I came home and the cable was out. Computer too - Damn Cox. But now I had something that I never have - TIME. SO I got out my notebook and started writing away. Cox got back up (no pun intended) and now I'm typing away.

OK, so I was at my son's soccer practice and after chatting with a few moms in the parking lot, I made my way over to the field. I put my chair in close proximity to the only other mom at the field. Not right next to her; but close enough to have a conversation. She looked very tired and her voice sounded like she had a cold; and even though the only times she's spoken to me were when she responded to me saying hello to her; I still felt compelled to ask if she was OK. Now I don't know her name, but for the sake of this blog, I'll just refer to her as WT (White Trash). OK, so I ask WT if she's not feeling well and she told me that she was exhausted. She said "I've been working; and I'm not a worker." Now there's a statement. That should have told me right away who I was dealing with, but NOOOO; I continue. I asked her what kind of work she was doing and she said "Well, I'm temporarily disabled but I've done child care my whole life, so I'm working in a daycare." She said "It's in Scottsdale and I hate all the skinny, snooty, bitches." (she's a big gal herself.) And then she said "And to top it all off; they're all Jewish." Say it with me people "OH NO SHE DIDN'T!!" OK, so I couldn't believe my ears and felt myself thinking in slow motion. How the hell was I gonna handle this one? Now, admittedly I am NOT the Queen of Jews, not by a long shot; BUT I am very proud to be Jewish and I absolutely despise people who stereotype Jews or make derogatory comments based solely on their own ignorance. OK I said it, I HATE stupid people. Anyway, though I'm not usually the Queen of Restraint, I calmly, and with a big smile on my face replied "I'm Jewish." Though in hind sight I wish that I'd said "What do you mean?" Anyway, WT tried backpedaling and said "Not that that means anything." She said "I mean I think the religion is fascinating." (Yah, sure you do.) When I asked how long she thought she'd work there, she said "Well my boss is really great; I mean I call out at least once a week and I don't work Fri, Sat or Sun."(Can you say Squeaky wheel?) "So I told them I'd stay till Chanukah. I figure I'll get my 12 presents and then have Christmas." And for all my non-Jewish readers; there are only 8 nights of Chanukah,"8 crazy nights" - to quote Adam Sandler, not 12 - but she's FASCINATED by the religion - greedy heffer. She went on to say that these skinny, snoots drop their kids off to go to the gym. And as I said, she's a bigger gal so I suppose she resents them from the get go. She spoke of one skinny, snoot in particular who only spoke Hebrew and only to the director when she goes in to the center. My guess is she's a smart, skinny, snoot and she recognizes that WT would be a a complete waste of her time so she doesn't bother to speak to her in any language.
OK, so I know that you're probably thinking, that's it? Your big response was to say "I'm Jewish" and then have a conversation with her? Now c'mon, you know better than that. What I said was "I know exactly what you're talking about with skinny, snoots because there are these 2 women at my daughter's preschool and 1 is very thin and the other is very fit; well at least to hear her tell it, she is." I then said that I didn't like the "fit" woman because she had a bumper sticker on her car," Wait, wait. And I said "I won't tell you what it said; because you never know who you're talking to; but I know what it means and I don't like her." This tidbit actually is true and I doubt she got my message but hopefully she's smart enough to feel stupid. Should be interesting to see if she ever speaks to me again; or will it be clash of the soccer moms? I'll keep you posted.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

4 comments:

Christian/Mormon non-working insomniac overweight/outspoken bleach blonde bad driver etc. said...

OMGWTF......I'm Speechless. I'm bringing black and white cookies to the soccer match closest to Halloween and see if she puts her fat foot in her disabled mouth and thinks they are "halloween cookies" so I can put my two cents in too. Your not aloud to have all the fun ya know. Can't I me the Princess of Nothing better to do? You crack me up. Please keep blogging, I was just about to start doing something crazy like vacuuming. love you "jew" Queen.

Credit Card runner at the Cathouse. said...

You know what happens if you don't pay your cable bill?

They cut off your cox. Haha ha.

I don't think I could recognize one if I saw one. But I would much rather watch Cathouse with Michelle's laughter and comments that cox anyday of the year. Woman Rock.

The Macabees said...

On the first day of Chanukah the Jew Queen gave to me...a kick in the ass for everyone to see...

Michelle K said...

what did the bumpersticker say?