Reflections

The past few days I've found myself doing a lot of reflecting. Maybe it was because of Mother's Day, or because Kelsie is graduating from pre-school tonight, or because Nicky and Lyndzi will have completed another school year next Thursday, or because my first born is turning 10 on Saturday. Maybe it's because no one has been majorly sick this week so I had some time to change my focus; or maybe it's because both "American Idol" and "Dancing With The Stars" are coming to an end next week. Well, regardless of the reason; you know what this means... I have A LOT on my mind.

It seems that I am constantly replaying moments in my mind (and yes, I'm sure that there is some psychological diagnosis for this;) but for the sake of this ride; I'm going to work backwards (now there's a twist.) For instance, I'm wondering when exactly Sanjaya (American Idol Season 6) became a celebrity. AND, we know that he IS a "celebrity " because he's going to be on the next season of "I'm a celebrity...Get me out of here" along with reality show whore, Steven Baldwin. Now don't get me wrong; I actually enjoy Steven Baldwin (on reality shows, ) I just think it's fascinating that someone who has already worked as an actor, would now be spending most of his career over the past few years, appearing on reality shows. By my count he's done "The Celebrity Mole "- twice, "The Celebrity Apprentice" and now just in case we forgot that he's a celebrity, he'll be appearing with other big celebs; (like Sanjaya) in "I'm a Celebrity...Get me out of here."
Now typically I write about both "American Idol" and "Dancing With The Stars" in a timely fashion; however, this season I have completely dropped the ball. If you're following Idol, my commentary is well overdue but I do want to go on record saying how much I have absolutely LOVED, LOVED, LOVED Danny Gokey. I am SO sorry that he did not make it to the final 2; but I have no doubt that we will be hearing from him again and that he will outsell Reuben, Fantasia and Taylor Hicks combined. Trust me, Chris Daughtry is no worse the wear for not making it to the final 2 and neither will be Danny Gokey. Now, why Gokey you may ask... It could be because I think he looks like Robert Downey jr.(and ya know how I LOVE him;) but I really believe that it's because his singing moves me. His voice tells a story (not only the words.) And, unlike Adam Lambert; the man can REALLY sing! Now all you Lambert fans; don't get all mad at me. I'm NOT putting Adam down, it's just that he doesn't always SING the song. He has the ability to hit those REALLY high notes and when he does, sometimes it sounds (to me) more like shrieking than singing while Danny is a PURE singer. Adam is a performer through and through. I think he puts on a great show which is why I think he is primed for the revival of "The Rocky Horror picture Show" ~ and I'm sure that he can even provide his own costume ~ wink wink; I mean did ya see the boy STRUT down that staircase; that's just quintessential Frank N Furter. And in the inimitable words of Forrest Gump "that's all I gotta say about that."
As for "Dancing With The Stars" this season I have been absolutely wowed by Gilles; and although this probably sounds like an odd thing to say; I prefer him with his clothes on. For those of you who don't know, Gilles Marini came on the scene in the "Sex and the City" movie when he played Samantha's naked, neighbor. As a matter of fact, he was so NOT famous that when "DWTS" was announcing who he was, they pretty much said "naked guy from Sex and the City movie;" which is why I am SO glad to see him doing so well. He is a FABULOUS dancer and it seems to me that people are voting for him because of his dancing and not because of his popularity because even he has admitted that coming into the show he had a small fan base. The opposite may be said for Ty Murray who though he tried so VERY, VERY hard his technique wasn't there, but his fans votes were; and he was able to knock out the extremely entertaining Lil Kim. I must say I was really sad to see her go, because I had really high hopes for her freestyle; but alas Cheryl Burke IS the Queen of The Freestyle in my opinion, so I'm sure that Monday's finale will be all that and a bag o chips. And while on the subject of "DWTS" I also want to say how much I LOVE seeing some of the dancers, from "So you think you can dance" now appearing as pros on "DWTS." Lacey, Chelsea and Dimitri all hale from SYTYCD; and my boss has actually said "Maybe they should rename the show "So you think you can dance with the stars" ~ which gave me a chuckle.

Now believe me when I tell you that it takes longer to read and type these things then it really takes me to think about them, and there really are more important thoughts going on in my mind; but before we get to that, and since I rarely cover TV anymore; let me just make a few more comments that I feel are worth sharing.

First I want to say KUDOS to Joan Friggin Rivers. I am ecstatic that she has won the "Celebrity Apprentice" and though some of you may think that ecstatic is a really strong word to describe ones feelings over a reality show, I have to tell you that it is so much more than that. It was the battle between good and evil and GOOD won out. Joan Rivers proved herself to be a force to be reckoned with and gained the respect that she is so deserving of. Her work ethic, professionalism and compassion were all exemplary. Did she verbally attack Annie Duke; you betcha but she did so because she thought that Annie was two faced and sneaky and she told her what she thought right to her face; unlike Annie who let the cameras hear her thoughts about Joan (like, I hope she dies) but didn't say anything to her face. Joan worked hard no matter the task. She was a GREAT role model, a leader and a humanitarian (I mean WAS on the show, not like WAS as in she's dead;) and I hope that the American public has gained a new found respect for her. Oh sure, I like most thought that she was obnoxious to say the least on the red carpet, but ya' know what, I see now that it was all just a part of her act. What you saw on the "Celebrity Apprentice" was the real deal; and I am ECSTATIC for her and her charity.

Now, though it may sound as if I watch A LOT of TV the truth is I DVR a lot of TV and try to fit shows in while I'm cooking, doing the laundry, paying bills etc, etc, which is why I STILL have a month and a half worth of "General Hospital" to catch up on. Nonetheless, of all the shows I DVR ,there are 2 other than GH that are NOT reality shows; and those are "Ugly Betty" and "Grey's Anatomy." I don't really have anything to say about "UB" I've just been enjoying it for the good, clean fun that it is. But "Grey's" now that's a different story. I smell an Emmy or 2, people. The story lines have just been brilliant. And Katherine Heigl has been spectacular. The show makes me cry and emotes feelings that a typical TV show does not. I know that the finale is going to be a real tear jerker, and although I don't enjoy crying over shows and movies; I know that I will be all the better for watching it. I know that it will reinforce the fact that we need to live each day as if it were our last and live with no regrets; which is what REFLECTION can help us to do; and what it did for me; on Mother's day.

This Mother's day was truly significant for me, because although I fully acknowledged my own Mom and remembered the magnificent woman that she was; I was finally able to allow this day to be more about what I have than what I have not. I was able to appreciate the gifts of my family and how very lucky I am to have each one of them. I cared not, where we had breakfast, lunch or dinner or that no flowers were involved; I just felt honored to be the Mom that Luis, Nicky, Lyndzi and Keslie bestow their love upon. I felt blessed that they recognized all that I do for them and that they wanted to celebrate that and honor me. I remembered why I wanted to become a Mom and what my goals are for raising my children; and when the day was done I felt TRULY satisfied and EXTREMELY proud.

As a Mom it is bittersweet to watch your children grow. Every time I drop Nicky and Lyndzi off at school I marvel at the independent people that they are becoming. Although they are my babies, they are no longer babies; but capable children who can make their own way when they need to. And now tonight, my baby, my Kelsie will graduate from pre-school and begin a new path. She is going to sing "You Light Up my Life, and I have no doubt that I will be moved to tears; just as I was when she sang "What a Wonderful World" last year; in her tiny, sweet voice. Oh yes, Kelsie is my biggest challenge thus far; but I could not imagine my life without her; and I am certain that she is going to do great things in her lifetime.

Now if my mind wasn't reeling enough from all that I have been contemplating, My Nicky will be turning 10 on May 16th and THAT is just mind boggling to me. Nicky, my first born, my only boy, my protector, my sidekick; is going to be 10. Boy does time fly. It seems like just yesterday that I was giving birth to him; and I love to sit back and remember EVERY moment of it. I remember feeling each contraction and saying to myself "I'm one step closer to seeing Nicky, I'm one step closer to seeing Nicky;" and when I did see Nicky; I cried tears of joy as I do EVERY time I relive that moment in my mind. I don't write about Nicky as much as I write about the girls because quite honestly; he's just not that funny. I mean he has his moments; but given that I'm prone to writing about the ridiculous and he is the most complacent, low key guy; he doesn't typically provide me with a lot of material; unless I want to brag about his straight A's or his humongous heart. Nicky has compassion like I have NEVER seen. He has been able to demonstrate empathy since he was only a few years old; and he is wise beyond his years. Nicky has memorized almost every episode of "The Amazing Race" and dreams of going on it one day - hopefully with me. He has a BEAUTIFUL singing voice and can easily get a perfect score on Karaoke Revolution without really trying; and oddly enough he will sing in front of anyone who will listen. Nicky tells people that I am a great blog writer; which is just the icing on my cake. One might say that Nicky is painstakingly shy, and often times awkward but the boy has HEART and to me that is MOST important. He did give me a laugh today today though when I picked him up from school and he informed me that HE; is the King of Solitaire. Wonder where he got that expression from?

When I reflect on my 10 precious years with Nicky, I relish EVERY moment that he has been on this earth and I feel so fortunate that he is my son. And just when you thought I couldn't possibly have anything more to reflect upon; my cup has runneth over. Summer is upon us here in AZ. School gets out next Thursday, and I cannot wait. I love having them home; and spending time together. I love taking them to swim team practice and watching them compete. I love our freedom and flexibility and the endless possibilities of what we might do. And although I want everything to go VERY slowly, so we can savor every minute; I also look forward to all the times ahead, when I'll be able to reflect back on all that we've done.
Till next time...

Queen of EVERYTHING