(43-56) Dirty Dancing ??

The Queen of EVERYTHING P.I. is at it again.  I don't enjoy being a cynic or a killjoy; in fact I like to think that I am typically the antithesis of these things; however, I DON'T like being duped; and something happened on "Dancing with the Stars" last night that had me feeling uneasy.
For those of you who don't watch "DWTS,"  my apologies; but please stay with me, because you don't have to have knowledge of the show to read this post.

Now, I LOVE "Dirty Dancing,"  it's one of my all time favorite movies, and I know that I've mentioned it at least twice before on "The Bumpy Ride."  The first time (briefly) in "Camping In Style," and then later in "What a Man."  I was actually quite surprised to see that I had only written about it twice and also that I didn't have it listed in my profile as one of my favorite movies; so I may just have to rectify that.  Anywho, I think that we've now established that I'm a Big (say it with me) "HUGE" "Dirty Dancing" fan; and as such I really don't want to tarnish any one's memory of it or call out one of its stars; but then again, I am The Queen of FAIRNESS; so I HAVE to.

Jennifer Grey is on this season's "Dancing With The Stars."  I for one am very happy that she's there, because since she got her new nose, we just don't see that much of her; or maybe we do and we just don't recognize her - SORRY.  Just kidding; REALLY.  Anyway, Lucky Jennifer got paired up with dance pro Derek Hough who just happened to have won "DWTS" two times already; and before even dancing a step they were already being pegged as the couple to beat.

So prior to their Viennese Waltz; they showed some clips from their rehearsals, and when Jennifer found out that they were dancing to a song from "Dirty Dancing," she had a little break down, cried, and left the room.  When she came back she explained that she was remembering dancing with Patrick and she spoke of him VERY fondly and very lovingly; which moved the audience tremendously; me included.  BUT, me being the Queen of USELESS KNOWLEDGE and the QUEEN of REMEMBERING THINGS, I recalled hearing that Ms. Grey and Mr. Swayze actually did NOT get along well during the filming of "DD" nor afterwards; and, I hate to say it, but this recollection made me feel manipulated.  I felt as if it was a stunt on Jen's behalf to pull our heartstrings and get votes based on our love for "Dirty Dancing" and our adoration of "Mr. Swayze," and that didn't feel honest to me.  The irony is, that Jennifer danced BEAUTIFULLY.  Had she not played the Patrick Swayze card, people would have voted for her based on her performance and for their love of Baby; but now she'll never know exactly why she got the votes.  Was it Dirty Dancing??

Do I enjoy being suspicious?  No way!  And, I am definitely not judging Ms. Grey's feelings about her "DD" co-star.  Perhaps if she was not fond of him in the past; that changed when he got ill.  It's not for me to say (or judge,)  BUT, my curiosity did get the better of me; so when Michelle K came over for dinner and I told her my theory; we got to work.
Every good PI needs a sidekick, and Michelle has helped me on more than one caper; so while I finished preparing dinner, she Googled "Jennifer Grey and Patrick Swayze's relationship during filming Dirty Dancing," and found:  Jennifer Grey Hated Working With Patrick Swayze Fearing they wouldn't have the right chemistry for Dirty Dancing...
By: Harjeet Mander on May 21, 2008  To quote Harjeet's article  "Jennifer Grey was distraught when she found out she was to star opposite Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing, because the actress hated working with him in a previous film.

The co-stars first worked together on Red Dawn, an experience Grey strongly disliked, and when she discovered she was to work with the Hollywood hunk again in the cult 1987 film, she threw a hissy fit.
Producer Linda Gottlieb recalls: "When Jennifer heard that Patrick was playing the part she was not a happy camper.  "They had performed together in Red Dawn and I gather that was not a wonderful working relationship.  "They had very different temperaments  - Jennifer is a kind of spontaneous girl and she'd be very emotional; she would cry easily. Patrick is the exact opposite."

Now in doing my research (YES, research;) before boldly, writing this blog; I did find articles about Jennifer Grey's RECENT claims that Patrick Swayze inspired her to do "DWTS," and yet; I can't help but feel that this was all very calculated.  Certainly I don't want to taint any one's memory of "Dirty Dancing" or cause anyone to question the chemistry between Johnny and Baby, because there is no denying that it was there; but I guess that's what has me so distracted.  I can live with knowing that they were "acting," but I don't want to believe that Ms. Grey is using Patrick's passing to garner votes and sympathy; because she's BETTER than that.

Now, there's no need to comment and tell me that I'm being skeptical or rude; because I'm truly not trying to be.   Perhaps as Jen got older, she learned to value Patrick and the experience that they had together.  Maybe Ms. Grey and Mr. Swayze had a reconciliation at some point and we weren't privy to this information; however, I think that it's fair to say that if we don't have all of the information, we can only go on what was put out there for us; and that's exactly what this post has been based on.  I'll still vote for Jennifer Grey if she DANCES for my vote.  I'll continue to watch "Dirty Dancing" EVERY time I get the opportunity to; and it will still bring me the same joy that it always has. I'm merely presenting an idea, because afterall; although it might not be humorous, it is an observation and it's what has been on my mind today.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

What a MAN!

The news of Patrick Swayze's passing was sad, but if I'm being honest; I didn't really give it much thought until I watched the tribute to him on "Dancing With The Stars" last week. Although it wasn't quite the same as watching the original; I thought the dancers did a very good job on the recreation and I will admit that I was moved to tears.

It really doesn't matter how many times I've seen the "Time of My Life" routine or who's dancing it; my reaction is always the same ~ I just love it! I love the song, I love the dance, and I LOVE the movie.

I was a junior in college when "Dirty Dancing" premiered and I couldn't wait to get to the theater. I so related to what this movie was about: a setting just like The Pines, a guest / staff romance, AND dancing. It seemed like this movie was made for me. I fell in love with "Dirty Dancing" and the character of Johnny Castle upon first viewing. No, it wasn't that I had a crush on Patrick Swayze but THE MAN that he was portraying. Yes, Johnny was such A MAN to the girl that baby was and I think he made all of us girls want A MAN. (A man as in a mature being ~ no offense ladies.)
I remember how hopeful I felt watching the love story of Baby and Johnny. How I cried when I watched the scenes between Baby and her father, because my father was gone; and I truly remember feeling that I was ready to have a MAN in my life as opposed to the boys that I'd been spending time with. And all of these feelings drove me back to the theater to see it, again and again and again. I bought the soundtrack upon its release, the video and the DVD and yet, every time I come across it on TV, it's one of those movies that I can't pass up; even though I could just as easily take it out of its box and watch it commercial free. Oh who amongst us didn't want to crawl across the floor with Johnny to "You're the one," didn't want to dance with Johnny in his room while it poured, or have him for their very own? As a young woman I found watching their relationship exciting and compelling and I wanted one just like it; dancing and all. Oh I could list hundreds of reasons (and you know I could; ) why I loved / love "Dirty Dancing" so much, but I think that one of the most profound reasons is because it was actually the first romantic movie that I had seen where it wasn't just the man rescuing the woman. Yes, Johnny did rescue Baby, (from the corner) but she rescued him too. She showed him that his life could be different from what it had been and that he could choose to have whatever type of life he wanted; and then he even told her (and everyone else) that she had done this for him; which in my opinion made him even more of a MAN.

Not only did Patrick Swayze play a good MAN; he was also capable of playing a very good woman. For those of you who never saw "To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar;" I highly recommend it; if you are looking for a feel good, B rate movie that will give you a tickle; (and I am the Queen of B RATE MOVIES after all.) Patrick Swayze, Wesley Snipes and John Leguizamo in drag; need I say more? Probably not, but you know I will... Patrick Swayze's character, Vida Boehme was not just a man dressing up as a woman but a man trying to live his life as a GOOD woman. And I must say that he was a lot more graceful in body and spirit than a lot of the "real women" that we encounter in our day to day lives. Vida Boehme was the embodiment of what she believed a real woman should be: feminine, thoughtful, kind, well mannered, respectful and strong. She was poetry in motion; and we have Patrick Swayze to thank for that example.

During his life, Patrick Swayze may not have won an Oscar but he did win our hearts; and I'm sure that he will not be forgotten. I hope that Patrick Swayze had the time of his life and that he rests in peace.

Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

Reflections

The past few days I've found myself doing a lot of reflecting. Maybe it was because of Mother's Day, or because Kelsie is graduating from pre-school tonight, or because Nicky and Lyndzi will have completed another school year next Thursday, or because my first born is turning 10 on Saturday. Maybe it's because no one has been majorly sick this week so I had some time to change my focus; or maybe it's because both "American Idol" and "Dancing With The Stars" are coming to an end next week. Well, regardless of the reason; you know what this means... I have A LOT on my mind.

It seems that I am constantly replaying moments in my mind (and yes, I'm sure that there is some psychological diagnosis for this;) but for the sake of this ride; I'm going to work backwards (now there's a twist.) For instance, I'm wondering when exactly Sanjaya (American Idol Season 6) became a celebrity. AND, we know that he IS a "celebrity " because he's going to be on the next season of "I'm a celebrity...Get me out of here" along with reality show whore, Steven Baldwin. Now don't get me wrong; I actually enjoy Steven Baldwin (on reality shows, ) I just think it's fascinating that someone who has already worked as an actor, would now be spending most of his career over the past few years, appearing on reality shows. By my count he's done "The Celebrity Mole "- twice, "The Celebrity Apprentice" and now just in case we forgot that he's a celebrity, he'll be appearing with other big celebs; (like Sanjaya) in "I'm a Celebrity...Get me out of here."
Now typically I write about both "American Idol" and "Dancing With The Stars" in a timely fashion; however, this season I have completely dropped the ball. If you're following Idol, my commentary is well overdue but I do want to go on record saying how much I have absolutely LOVED, LOVED, LOVED Danny Gokey. I am SO sorry that he did not make it to the final 2; but I have no doubt that we will be hearing from him again and that he will outsell Reuben, Fantasia and Taylor Hicks combined. Trust me, Chris Daughtry is no worse the wear for not making it to the final 2 and neither will be Danny Gokey. Now, why Gokey you may ask... It could be because I think he looks like Robert Downey jr.(and ya know how I LOVE him;) but I really believe that it's because his singing moves me. His voice tells a story (not only the words.) And, unlike Adam Lambert; the man can REALLY sing! Now all you Lambert fans; don't get all mad at me. I'm NOT putting Adam down, it's just that he doesn't always SING the song. He has the ability to hit those REALLY high notes and when he does, sometimes it sounds (to me) more like shrieking than singing while Danny is a PURE singer. Adam is a performer through and through. I think he puts on a great show which is why I think he is primed for the revival of "The Rocky Horror picture Show" ~ and I'm sure that he can even provide his own costume ~ wink wink; I mean did ya see the boy STRUT down that staircase; that's just quintessential Frank N Furter. And in the inimitable words of Forrest Gump "that's all I gotta say about that."
As for "Dancing With The Stars" this season I have been absolutely wowed by Gilles; and although this probably sounds like an odd thing to say; I prefer him with his clothes on. For those of you who don't know, Gilles Marini came on the scene in the "Sex and the City" movie when he played Samantha's naked, neighbor. As a matter of fact, he was so NOT famous that when "DWTS" was announcing who he was, they pretty much said "naked guy from Sex and the City movie;" which is why I am SO glad to see him doing so well. He is a FABULOUS dancer and it seems to me that people are voting for him because of his dancing and not because of his popularity because even he has admitted that coming into the show he had a small fan base. The opposite may be said for Ty Murray who though he tried so VERY, VERY hard his technique wasn't there, but his fans votes were; and he was able to knock out the extremely entertaining Lil Kim. I must say I was really sad to see her go, because I had really high hopes for her freestyle; but alas Cheryl Burke IS the Queen of The Freestyle in my opinion, so I'm sure that Monday's finale will be all that and a bag o chips. And while on the subject of "DWTS" I also want to say how much I LOVE seeing some of the dancers, from "So you think you can dance" now appearing as pros on "DWTS." Lacey, Chelsea and Dimitri all hale from SYTYCD; and my boss has actually said "Maybe they should rename the show "So you think you can dance with the stars" ~ which gave me a chuckle.

Now believe me when I tell you that it takes longer to read and type these things then it really takes me to think about them, and there really are more important thoughts going on in my mind; but before we get to that, and since I rarely cover TV anymore; let me just make a few more comments that I feel are worth sharing.

First I want to say KUDOS to Joan Friggin Rivers. I am ecstatic that she has won the "Celebrity Apprentice" and though some of you may think that ecstatic is a really strong word to describe ones feelings over a reality show, I have to tell you that it is so much more than that. It was the battle between good and evil and GOOD won out. Joan Rivers proved herself to be a force to be reckoned with and gained the respect that she is so deserving of. Her work ethic, professionalism and compassion were all exemplary. Did she verbally attack Annie Duke; you betcha but she did so because she thought that Annie was two faced and sneaky and she told her what she thought right to her face; unlike Annie who let the cameras hear her thoughts about Joan (like, I hope she dies) but didn't say anything to her face. Joan worked hard no matter the task. She was a GREAT role model, a leader and a humanitarian (I mean WAS on the show, not like WAS as in she's dead;) and I hope that the American public has gained a new found respect for her. Oh sure, I like most thought that she was obnoxious to say the least on the red carpet, but ya' know what, I see now that it was all just a part of her act. What you saw on the "Celebrity Apprentice" was the real deal; and I am ECSTATIC for her and her charity.

Now, though it may sound as if I watch A LOT of TV the truth is I DVR a lot of TV and try to fit shows in while I'm cooking, doing the laundry, paying bills etc, etc, which is why I STILL have a month and a half worth of "General Hospital" to catch up on. Nonetheless, of all the shows I DVR ,there are 2 other than GH that are NOT reality shows; and those are "Ugly Betty" and "Grey's Anatomy." I don't really have anything to say about "UB" I've just been enjoying it for the good, clean fun that it is. But "Grey's" now that's a different story. I smell an Emmy or 2, people. The story lines have just been brilliant. And Katherine Heigl has been spectacular. The show makes me cry and emotes feelings that a typical TV show does not. I know that the finale is going to be a real tear jerker, and although I don't enjoy crying over shows and movies; I know that I will be all the better for watching it. I know that it will reinforce the fact that we need to live each day as if it were our last and live with no regrets; which is what REFLECTION can help us to do; and what it did for me; on Mother's day.

This Mother's day was truly significant for me, because although I fully acknowledged my own Mom and remembered the magnificent woman that she was; I was finally able to allow this day to be more about what I have than what I have not. I was able to appreciate the gifts of my family and how very lucky I am to have each one of them. I cared not, where we had breakfast, lunch or dinner or that no flowers were involved; I just felt honored to be the Mom that Luis, Nicky, Lyndzi and Keslie bestow their love upon. I felt blessed that they recognized all that I do for them and that they wanted to celebrate that and honor me. I remembered why I wanted to become a Mom and what my goals are for raising my children; and when the day was done I felt TRULY satisfied and EXTREMELY proud.

As a Mom it is bittersweet to watch your children grow. Every time I drop Nicky and Lyndzi off at school I marvel at the independent people that they are becoming. Although they are my babies, they are no longer babies; but capable children who can make their own way when they need to. And now tonight, my baby, my Kelsie will graduate from pre-school and begin a new path. She is going to sing "You Light Up my Life, and I have no doubt that I will be moved to tears; just as I was when she sang "What a Wonderful World" last year; in her tiny, sweet voice. Oh yes, Kelsie is my biggest challenge thus far; but I could not imagine my life without her; and I am certain that she is going to do great things in her lifetime.

Now if my mind wasn't reeling enough from all that I have been contemplating, My Nicky will be turning 10 on May 16th and THAT is just mind boggling to me. Nicky, my first born, my only boy, my protector, my sidekick; is going to be 10. Boy does time fly. It seems like just yesterday that I was giving birth to him; and I love to sit back and remember EVERY moment of it. I remember feeling each contraction and saying to myself "I'm one step closer to seeing Nicky, I'm one step closer to seeing Nicky;" and when I did see Nicky; I cried tears of joy as I do EVERY time I relive that moment in my mind. I don't write about Nicky as much as I write about the girls because quite honestly; he's just not that funny. I mean he has his moments; but given that I'm prone to writing about the ridiculous and he is the most complacent, low key guy; he doesn't typically provide me with a lot of material; unless I want to brag about his straight A's or his humongous heart. Nicky has compassion like I have NEVER seen. He has been able to demonstrate empathy since he was only a few years old; and he is wise beyond his years. Nicky has memorized almost every episode of "The Amazing Race" and dreams of going on it one day - hopefully with me. He has a BEAUTIFUL singing voice and can easily get a perfect score on Karaoke Revolution without really trying; and oddly enough he will sing in front of anyone who will listen. Nicky tells people that I am a great blog writer; which is just the icing on my cake. One might say that Nicky is painstakingly shy, and often times awkward but the boy has HEART and to me that is MOST important. He did give me a laugh today today though when I picked him up from school and he informed me that HE; is the King of Solitaire. Wonder where he got that expression from?

When I reflect on my 10 precious years with Nicky, I relish EVERY moment that he has been on this earth and I feel so fortunate that he is my son. And just when you thought I couldn't possibly have anything more to reflect upon; my cup has runneth over. Summer is upon us here in AZ. School gets out next Thursday, and I cannot wait. I love having them home; and spending time together. I love taking them to swim team practice and watching them compete. I love our freedom and flexibility and the endless possibilities of what we might do. And although I want everything to go VERY slowly, so we can savor every minute; I also look forward to all the times ahead, when I'll be able to reflect back on all that we've done.
Till next time...

Queen of EVERYTHING

My Guilty Pleasure

Disclaimer: Rest assured, this is not becoming an all scrapbooking blog; nor is it becoming an all Maks loving blog and while I'm at it - it's not becoming an all anti-Palin blog - yet all will be mentioned here and now...

This months theme for The "Scrapbooking from the Inside Out" kit club is JOY. Now, since it's "Inside Out," you're encouraged to explore your feelings. Everyone knows my kids bring me joy, and my husband brings me joy; so we try to delve a little deeper and for me I didn't have to dig too far to be able to say "Maks brings me JOY!!" OH BOY, does he bring me joy. As soon as I decided to scrapbook the picture of me and Maks; I knew what the title would have to be; so I now present to you;
my "Guilty Pleasure."

When I made this lay out, it took a lot of thought before I finally came up with my Garden of Eden theme.

The journalling reads:

I've had a shameless crush on Maks from "Dancing with the Stars" for a few years now. I know it's beyond ridiculous; but what can I say - looking at him is like looking at a piece of art. To me, he is PERFECTION; and undeniably MY GUILTY PLEASURE.

As much as I LOVE to admire Maks; seeing this picture of us together DELIGHTS me NO END. I smile from Ear to Ear every time I look at it because he brings me JOY.

I know - I've said it before, "I just can't help myself." Hello, my name is Paige and I'm a Maks addict.  I JUST CAN'T GET ENOUGH. In fact; you know you have a problem when you rewind the intro of "Dancing with the Stars" just so you can see Maks on the screen one more time. Yep - a PROBLEM; I know. BUT, I do have a new goal, OK, fantasy - whatever. It goes something like this (English accent - Announcer's voice) "And now dancing the samba (and you have to say it like him; Sam - like the name; Samba,) "AND now dancing the Samba, Observational Humorist, Paige Ramos and her partner Maksim Chmerkovskiy." Ahhh! I can hear it now. Maybe if we all visualize it enough; it will come true. What? Weirder things have happened.

I could make a breakthrough; just picture me in that Samba costume - LOL

Now, while I'm on the topic of guilty pleasures; I'd be remiss if I did not mention Facebook (again). OK I admit it; I'm LOVIN me some Facebook. In just a couple of weeks I have reconnected with several people from "The Condo," (The development where I grew up. Hey, I was even invited to join the alumni of the New City Condo ASSOCIATION; and ya, know I did.) Then there's my pals from Elementary school, High School x 2 (The school I should have gone to because of my address & the school that I went to because I LOVED IT!) College, The Pines (And ya know that if Speedy Garfin wants to be my "friend," I'm DEFINITELY sayin YES.) LOL

Facebook has helped me reconnect with people who were REALLY important and special to me. Yes me; Queen of MAINTAINING FRIENDSHIPS OVER LONG PERIODS OF TIME (not to mention Queen of LONG ASS TITLES) it has even helped me. So I highly recommend that you join up; and then add me as your friend (if you haven't already.)

And so we move on...

Oh what would my blog be these days if I didn't take a jab or sixteen at Sarah Palin. So under the category of "Let me state the obvious" - Just because Sarah Palin went on "Saturday Night Live" (under the guise of) showing what a good sport she is - it still does not and I mean DOES NOT qualify her to be the Vice President of the United States. Sorry Sarah but the last time I checked; being a good sport wasn't a criteria that people looked for in a VP - sorry, not gonna buy it. Now, I thought that would be the only comment that I was going to make about her - but wait... there's more. How fortuitous that I've taken to writing my blog on Wednesday's (have ya noticed?) Because now, I have more fuel for my fire. Like the fact that Gov. Palin doesn't even know what the job of the VP is; and if she does, she got REALLY confused when she tried to explain it to a class of third graders. I'm SURE that you've already heard that she told them that the Vice President is in charge of the Senate... Um, NO Governor, the VP is NOT in charge of the Senate. You need to get that nasty little idea out of your head. UNLIKE me &; my " DWTS" fantasy, no mater how many times YOU say that - it's not going to come true. God forbid you were to win, you are not and yes; I REPEAT; NOT going to be in charge of the Senate. You'll only break a tie vote if and when you have to. Deja vu - haven't I explained this before. And of course, I must mention the $150,000 that the Republican National Committee spent to make over Hockey Mom; Gov. Sarah Palin. Oh, she was EXACTLY what they were looking for. EXACTLY the person that America was going to relate to. But I guess Ma and Pa sittin around the table just couldn't realte to her unless she had a new $150,000 wardrobe; so the RNC went on a spree at Neiman Marcus for a mere $150,000 and bought her one. Yup - you read me. Oh and she wasn't the only one who got outfitted. Baby Trig got (The EVERY Baby needs one) pacifier from Neiman's now ain't that real down home?? What do ya think of that Joe Six pack?? OY!

Till next time...

Queen of EVERYTHING

The Lord Giveth...

And the Lord Taketh Away.

The other day I received my (I don't know what #) invitation from a friend to join Facebook. Luis was out at the movies and I needed a little break from my garage sale prep; so I joined up. Within 24 hours I had reconnected with some old friends from High School and years gone by - so I was pretty excited.

Facebook is a lot of fun; AND it's especially fun because you can also make new friends; and guess who my NEW friend is? OK, I know most of you (not including the ones who already know or are on Facebook) have given up; so I'll tell ya... It's MAKS. Yup; you read that right. Maks from "Dancing With The Stars" is my friend. If you go on my Facebook page - "Paige Howell Ramos" You'll see him there - Tee Hee And every time he posts new pics - I'll see them (AHHHH!) Yes, Oh yes; I KNOW I have a problem (maybe this should have been a "You know you have a problem blog...") but he is my guilty pleasure - I just CAN'T help it.

Anyway; because Jackie was in the entertainment business, she has a few "friends" on Facebook who are actors, and ultimately she became friends with Maks, so I thought I'd throw caution to the wind, and see if he wanted to be my friend too. He confirmed; but honestly, he has about 2000 friends, so I think he confirms EVERYONE. Nonetheless, I was so excited to have such access to him (one might say I was blissful - just don't say it to Luis - haha, no, he already knows.) But, then it happened... yes, just as I was enjoying my state of euphoria; Lesa called to warn me that she'd heard that Misty May-Treanor (Mak's partner this season) had been injured and she was going to have to leave the show. SAY IT ISN'T SO! But, unfortunately; it is. SO you know what that means. No more 2 nights a week of Maks. My eye candy is gone; (at least until a pro number, group number or next season - which just isn't enough for me, I tell ya.) Well, at least I have my FRIEND, and all the glorious pictures that he posts.

See what I mean, The Lord giveth; and the lord taketh away.

Till next time...

Queen of EVERYTHING

Moved to Tears

There are several reasons why my blog is much longer than typical blogs. 1. I'm an overachiever - haha No, just kidding. 1. I don't post everyday or even on a regular basis, reasons being A) I don't have the luxury of time and B) and much more importantly; I won't/can't write about just anything. Believe it or not, I want my blog to matter in as much as I am giving you a good laugh, or provoking thought or sharing information and ideas that I your Queen of EVERYTHING, deem worthwhile for you. 2. I've got the gift of gab - OK, now you've probably forgotten why I'm listing reasons (I almost did - LOL) It was reasons my blog is typically so long. Right OK, so gift of gab. I write like I speak and no one has ever accused me of being short on words. OK I admit, I'm verbose. I am prone to the excess, hence, wordy blogs; however, I don't try to be wordy intentionally; I'm just trying to get my point across, and ya'know; this is how I roll. 3. HAHA - yes, of course I'm gonna keep going... Because I don't blog on a regular basis, I tend to combine multiple stories or experiences into one blog and surely this makes the blogs longer and exemplifies the whole theory of "The Bumpy Ride." For instance; if I cared less and didn't really have valuable information to share; this in and of itself could have been a blog; BUT you know me; I've only just begun AND I do have more to say - so let's round the curve and start going down the hill (well, not DOWNHILL I hope, but you know what I mean - hopefully. It's Bumpy Ride speak. My intro twisted and turned and climbed the hill and now i'm ready to head back down.)Gee, why are my blogs so long?? HMMMM...

OK, so as I previously stated, sometimes I HAVE to wait to blog until I know I have the PERFECT story for you. Just call me Queen of Anal Retentive; (but it's all for the greater good.) So, last night I experienced something that was so extraordinary, so profound; I knew that I had to share it with you. I would have typed the blog right then and there, but I had to get to bed so I could be up to work at 415; but I went to bed thinking about what I was going to write; and almost counted the minutes until I could sit down and tell this story.

Now I'm sad to say that my favorite hottie; Maks, is not on the new season of "Dancing with the Stars" yet I am watching it anyway. This season is actually full of "stars" that I enjoy. First, there's Steve Guttenberg. I've liked him forever. I LOVED him in "Diner," and he's always reminded me of this semi-boyfriend that I had in high school and college. Moving on, there's Marrissa Jaret Winokur - She's the original Tracy from the Broadway version of "Hairspray" for which she won a Tony. She's less than 5 feet tall and admittedly chubby and I love, love, love that she's out there in all her glory, doing her thing. She's got a ton of pep and energy and a real zest for life. She's a cancer survivor and just a little firecracker - Go Marissa GO!! Now, Penn Gillette and Adam Corolla are both contestants (though probably not for long;) and they both crack me up. Priscilla Presley looked a little scary to me at first but I think that's just her face. I was prepared not to like her; but I've got to give her props because she did great; as did Kristie Yamaguchi who was just amazing - SO graceful. Now last but CERTAINLY not least, was Marlee Matlin. Let me just say that I LOVE Marlee Matlin. She is sassy (which I'm a huge proponent of) classy, funny, fearless and inspiring. If any of you don't know - Marlee Matlin is a "profoundly deaf" actress who won an Oscar many moons ago for her performance in "Children of a Lesser God." She's been on "The West Wing," and more recently "The L Word," and now lucky us; she is on DWTS. She has said that she can't hear the music though sometimes if it's strong enough, she can hear the beat. She just follows her partner and watches his facial expressions and she says that is her music. She reads lips very well, but says that it's tiring, so she has an interpreter with her at all times and he signs the instructions after her partner gives them - OMG - SO much work!!
Well, let me tell you; I watched her dance and I was literally moved to tears. There was something about knowing that she couldn't hear the music that was just so powerful, so life affirming, so humbling, so compelling, and beautiful and motivating and brave. I'm not now, but I sure was then - SPEECHLESS! YES, me, Word Queen - SPEECHLESS!

Marlee Matlin's performance was the most brilliant and thought / emotion provoking performance that I have seen since Roberto Benigni in "Life is beautiful." It had the same exact effect on me. It taught me to take nothing for granted, see the beauty, that the only way to fail is not to try, to set an example for your children of all of the above AND that it's not what you say, but what you do. I KNOW that I SAY A LOT- but I'm hoping that in doing so, I am also DOING something.
Marlee's performance made me want to be a better person. To try harder - at EVERYTHING. To jump hurdles and seek challenges - because I CAN.
I can't encourage you enough to tune in to "Dancing with the Stars" and watch Marlee Matlin - I really believe that you will be glad you did.
If you did see her performance, or do watch next week, please leave a comment on this blog.

I know this wasn't my typical blog; but like I said earlier, I'm all for your greater good; and seriously, it just doesn't get better than this.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

EXERCISE??

Admittedly, of all the things I am NOT the Queen of; NOT the Queen of Exercising has got to be on the top of the list. For those of you who know me; I'm sure you are just colored surprised right now. For those of you who don't know me, I refer you to my picture with Maks from "Dancing with the Stars" in the blog entitled the Queen's Big Coup (June 8, 2007.)

Typically my exercise regime is limited to transporting my scrapbooking necessities to my monthly crop (non-scrappers; a crop is when people get together and scrapbook.) Now, don't make light of this as far as exercise goes, because my NECESSITIES consist of: A huge roll on suitcase that's packed to the brim, a tackle box, a shoulder tote, a hand held tote, a shopping bag, a die cut machine, usually several 12x12 plastic drawers of paper and a partridge in a pear tree. HAHAHA, Just kidding, no paper, ahh, there I go again, HAHA No - No partridge in a pear tree of course. Now, to most of my scrapbooking chums this sounds like a drop in the bucket; however, for all of you non-scrappers, feel free to make fun of this being my form of exercise and don't leave out poking fun at how often I do it.
Now the point is (YES, there's a point; there's ALWAYS a point.) Michelle (Not yet legally) K - (Yes it's been a year now and it's still not yet legally K; although sometimes she's K in my comments; but I digress...)has joined a gym and she has inspired me to consider joining as well. (OK pick your jaws up off the floor now.)
Anyway, she has gotten me a buddy pass so that I can try it out with her on Thursday. She claims that this should give her enough time to familiarize herself with the equipment so that she can show me how to use it; which is a good thing because I can barely figure out a treadmill; hence my stupendous figure.

To say the least i'm sure that this experience will provide me with a couple good blogs or two and you know me; anything for the cause. Once again I say "where are the cameras when you need em?" You just have to know that this is an accident waiting to happen - me and Michelle (not yet legally) K at the gym together. All I can say is hopefully, I will bruise nothing more than my ego... Stay tuned.

Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

A Scene in the Life:

Let me set the stage: It's about 545am and I am in my kitchen. I've been up working for a half hour (I overslept because I was having this delicious dream about Maks from Dancing with the Stars. G rated - but DELICIOUS!)

Scene 1: Paige is putting mini frozen pizzas in the toaster oven; (yes at 545 am - Nicky and Lyndzi want to take them for lunch.)

Camera pans to top of toaster oven with loaf of cinnamon bread on it.

Scene 2: Paige walks into kitchen and re-sets toaster oven for another 5 minutes.

Camera pans to top of toaster oven with loaf of cinnamon bread on it.

Scene 3. Paige removes mini pizzas from toaster oven and offers children cinnamon bread for breakfast.

Paige: "CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

You got it! I didn't remove the bread from the toaster oven while it was on and the plastic stuck to the top of the toaster oven; etc. Let's hope it didn't really get on the bread that I fed the kids for breakfast anyway. It was nice and warm - though.

Say it with me "Who could make this stuff up?" Honestly, does it help make me seem like less of an idiot if I tell you that I've only had the toaster oven for 2 weeks?? I am truly my own worst enemy. BUT, as I've proven time and time again, I can laugh at myself and I do recognize how incredibly pathetic this is. I just thought that yet again, it would be the PERFECT opportunity for my own reality show. I felt like I was channeling Ozzy Osbourne or something. Couldn't you just see him using the toaster oven, walking away and then the camera pans to the bread adhering and melting on the toaster oven - yeah, me too. Guess that's what I get for dreaming about Maks. I suppose I have to try and keep my dreams to my husband only in order not to damage any more appliances and poison the children - I get it, I get it.

Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

The Queen's Big Coup

OK, I just can't keep this from you any longer. I've been wondering HOW I was going to tell you because this really is SO HUGE, and it needs to be presented as the ENORMOUS COUP that it is - and I am now ready to share the news, share my joy, my delight, my fantasy, my dream come true. Yes folks, believe it or not, I have met Maks; face to Gorgeous, HUNKY face, and he was AMAZING!!
Now I know that this is just flabbergasting news to some of you. Others are aware of my coup, but have yet to see the picture; and so I present my story and my photographic proof...

You know that forward that we've all gotten many, many times about friends coming into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime? You know it. It explains that sometimes you meet someone for a reason, and sometimes a friend comes into your life but only for a season while other friends are friends you'll have for life. Well, I've always liked that forward and this story is a perfect example of it...

It seems that my friend Jackie was a friend for a season; but also for a reason. I've previously mentioned that Jackie used to work in casting at NBC. Well, although she isn't in the business anymore, she is still a voting member of the TV academy and as such she receives invitations to special events which publicize shows for your Emmy consideration. Usually most of the cast of whichever show it is, appears at the function and they do a behind the scenes look, Q&A etc. etc.
Well, Jackie called me late one night and said "I have the perfect birthday present for you, but we have to act fast." I was half asleep when I heard her say "How would you like to meet Maks?" "WHAT" I shrieked nervously. To which she went on to explain that there was going to be a special "for your Emmy consideration" night for Dancing with the Stars, including a reception and dancing display; and as an early 40th birthday present, she wanted to take me to L.A. to go meet Maks.
OH MY GOD - I mean how often does this happen? My fantasy come true and wrapped up in an extraordinarily generous gift. How could I refuse?

We planned our trip and Jackie kept talking about taking my picture with Maks. I told her that I absolutely did not want to take my picture with him; and in fact I didn't want to get anywhere near him because I was just too afraid and nervous. I was like Duckie from "Pretty in Pink." I just wanted to be able to stand there and admire him. For me it was just like Guy Collura all over again. (There you go V - you knew it would be blogged about one day.) You see from the very first day of 9th grade until the day that I graduated from high school (if not longer,) I had a crippling crush on this guy, named Guy Collura. Now when I say "crippling," the crush was SO bad that when I would see him in the hallway - I couldn't even say hello. It wasn't that I was shy. I mean to some extent I was; but that didn't stop me from having my share of boyfriends, and then some. But there was just something about him that was overwhelming to me; I just liked him THAT MUCH, and I felt the exact same way about meeting Maks. I just wanted to admire him from a far. No picture, no introduction, just be in the room with him and watch him from a far.

The event began with the reception; but unfortunately they tried to fit 700 people in an area that was way to small for 700 people. I am NOT Queen of Dimensions, or Square Footage or anything like that; so I can't be exact. Let's just say that it was VERY crowded. 700 people just trying to shove past each other. Lots of old people, old people with bad face lifts and plates of Sushi, trying to squeeze through the crowds just to get a glimpse of someone from the show.

We were on the lookout for Maks and trying to stay out of harms way, when Jackie met the Oompa Loompa. That's right, "THE" Oompa Loompa. That one guy that played all of the Oompa Loompas in the terrible re-make of Willy Wonka. Then I saw Brian and Shandi; and whether you watched the show or not, you probably don't know or care who they are. I really couldn't have cared less about seeing them, and I was so close to Brian that he could have fathered my next child; yet I had nothing to say to them and didn't even desire a picture.
So let's move on. Things started to get interesting when I saw Stacy Keebler - the professional wrestler that was on 3 seasons ago. We met her and took a picture. (She was VERY nice.) Then we saw Edyta; one of my favorite professional dancers. We took a picture with her too. She was very genuine and VERY beautiful. While we were talking to Edyta, I turned my head; and THERE HE WAS. I could hardly keep my composure as I saw Maks across the room. I tried to speak, but I was so overwhelmed I could barely utter the words to tell Jackie that I had seen him; but somehow I managed to gleefully eek out "Jackie - Maks!!" and I pointed. All of a sudden I could feel my entire body blushing; but we wasted no time as we made a bee line right for him. All at once, it was as if the Red Sea had parted. I don't know where those 700 people went but suddenly we had a clear path to get right to him; just as if it was divine intervention or something. We walked right up to him and Jackie introduced herself - then introduced me. Jackie said "...I think she may be your biggest fan." Maks looked at me and said with the sexiest smile ever; "I think you're right. I think she is;" and then we took this incredible picture together. (All the while I was shaking like a leaf.)
After looking at the picture a couple of hundred times and upon reflecting - I actually think that Maks was referring to my size being big and not my adoration; so I was kind of upset with him for awhile - which is partly why I delayed in posting this blog. Yet even if he WAS so shallow and WAS making a fat reference; there's NO denying what an incredible picture he took with me.
I will forever be grateful to Jackie for giving me this once in a lifetime dream come true; and for the friendship that we shared for the season.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

Hot Topic

OK - It is late. Very late for me and I am sleepy- but as I am the Queen of Competitive (well sometimes;) I have to get this blog in before EVERYONE and their mother starts making their comments about Idol, because you know I want the credit for this one - yup you heard it, or read it here first...
What the hell is Ryan Seacrest thinking? If you are a little gentile, that's gen-teel not gentile (for my Jewish friends,) anyway if you are a little gentile, skip this part.
WHY oh WHY would Ryan make the signal for a hand job, on national TV? In case you missed it or I'm the only perv in the bunch; it went a little something like this. Chris Sligh had sang his way through the audience and then he had a little mic stand action on stage. Now very faintly Paula had made a comment about Simon trying to take the mic stand away from Chris (or something to that effect;) and then when Ryan was talking to Chris on stage, he made some reference to Simon trying to take the mic stand AND while he was making this verbal reference, (I kid you not,) he made the motion of a hand job (in reference to taking the mic I'm sure, but - OMG!!) Go check your Tivo's or rewind your tapes, or better yet just turn on E, the View, or the news because I GUARANTEE you that they will ALL be talking about it.

So let's move on from hand jobs to blow jobs - and by blow I mean those that blew, that absolutely sucked - say it with me now "Sangria, I just met a girl? named Sangria..."
Sangria attempted to rock, with "Girl you really got me down," and although Randy and Paula thought it was his best performance to date - is that really saying much? Once again Lesa said it best "Sangria really "had me going" allright........ straight to the liquor cabinet with a quick stop by the knife rack . Oh my Lord he is SO SO SO SO SO Brutal. " HAHAHA - Good one Lese.

Big news here - Sangria did actually admit that he is NOT the best singer in the competition. Yay! for a moment of clarity. What do you think his first clue was? (To the tune of won't you come home Bill Bailey) "Won't you go home Sangria, won't you go home..."

So here are my bottom 3 this week: Sangria (of course,) Phil ( I fast forwarded through his performance) and Gina ( She was lousy) She was more concerned with getting the hair out of her face then performing her song.

Actually, I gotta say almost the entire show bored me to tears. It was a major snoozefest. I fast forwarded through most of the performances including Lakeisha's and Melinda's tonight. I mean yah, we all know they can sing; but their song choices were just hideous. I don't know, call me crazy but when Lulu told Lakeisha "I think the other song is a far better choice and you can really deliever it;" and then she chose to go with that dreadful Diamonds song, I think that was just downright stupid. I'd almost vote against her just for being such an idiot.
Hmmm, maybe I should write up some suggestions for song choices and ask my brother to go "trollin the pier" for the idols. LOL

My top 3 this week: Jordin, Blake; and I guess Chris Richardson, though I could have just as easily left it at a top 2.

All I can say is Thank God for Dancing with the Stars. My Maks is back and he's got a partner with two real legs and a little rhythm, so he stands a chance of staying in for a few weeks. Oh that makes me a HAPPY Queen.

Of course I have to mention that once again on Amazing Race, Charla and Mirna donned their accents in lieu of the 5 languages they supposedly speak. While trying to sell manicures in Mozambique they put on some kinda unrecognizable accent when trying to convince the locals to let them polish their nails for money. (I know, I know, if you've never seen the show, that little description would certainly not inspire you to tune in - but you gotta trust me on this one - It's Goood.) Anyway, Charla and Mirna actually came in first this week. I was shocked, and a little nauseated, but it's only TV.

Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

Reality Bytes

Now you have to know that I had a thing or two to say about American Idol this week; but I was afraid that I had missed the boat since the results were already announced. Then I gave it some more thought, (because I am the Queen of Thinking things over - can you say obsessive??) and finally decided; what the heck - criticism is criticism and should be shared regardless. LOL

So where shall I begin? I know I'll start at the bottom and work my way up.
So what kinda idiot is Brandon? First of all, Brandon said "I'm gonna sing Can't hurry love, because I grew up on that song." So then what happens; well amongst other things, the moron forgot the words. He grew up on the song; yet he forgot the words. Way to go, and go he did; right off the show.
Simon was on the money (as usual) when he told Brandon that he sounded like a back up singer's back up singer. I don't even think he sounded good enough to be a back up singer unless maybe he's gonna be a back up singer for Sangria.

(To the tune "Maria" from West Side Story) "Sangria, I just met a girl named Sangria." HAHAHA- oh I just kill myself. OK, so once again, Lesa was "dead on balls accurate." to quote Marissa Tomei from My cousin Vinnie (there ya go, Michelle K) She told me last night "I was sure that Sangria was going to sing I'm coming out;" OMG good one Lese, but I think it was actually Ryan's night to come out.
For those of you who don't know what I'm referring to, it went a little something like this: Melinda was saying that it was difficult for her to wear high heels and dresses. Ryan then throws it to Simon to make a comment about high heels (since Simon is such a fashion critic these days,) and Simon says "You should know Ryan;" and Ryan says "Stay out of my closet;" to which Simon replies "Come out." OK so to all of this I say, (not that it matters AT ALL;) but what heterosexual man would reply "stay out of my closet" when the subject of high heels comes up? AND I'm only talking about it because of the whole Sangria coming out thing. Anyway back to Sangria.

I thought that Sangria was trying to do a Diana Ross impersonation. Lesa thinks Sangria wants to be Michael Jackson, and everyone knows that MJ wants to be Diana Ross, so bottom line is Sangria was trying to be MJ being Diana Ross. Aagghh!! Too, Too much. You know you have to be REALLY bad when "in a singing competition," the only positive comment you get is about your hair - and while we're on the subject, what the heck was with that hair. Oh my gosh, I thought it was awful.
The only other thing I want to say about Idol before moving on is that I thought Lakeisha and Melinda blew Diana away. I was waiting for the judges to tell Diana that she was shouting. "Not your best performance dawg," is what Randy shoulda said.

So since I don't want this blog to be all about Idol; I'll move on.
Let's talk Amazing Race... (Here ya go Big V- I told you the time would come.) For those of you trying to keep up on my cast of characters, Big V is my treasured friend Ruthie; oh, excuse me, Ruth. Though from here on out she will only be referred to as Big V (my kids even call her Auntie V; they have no idea why or that her name is anything else; but the Big V is a story for yet another time)
OK, so in case I haven't said it before, I LOVE the Amazing Race; it's my FAVORITE Reality show; and since I'm such a fan of the all-star type event (I mean I was a huge Battle of the Network Stars fan - back in the day; and YOU know when the day was.) Anyway, I like Rob and Amber, well Rob anyway. He amuses me but now they're gone "and that's all I have to say about that;" to quote Forrest Gump. Hmm, big quotation blog for me. I feel a theme within a theme emerging...
My other FAVORITE team on the ARAS (Amazing Race All Stars) is Team Cha Cha Cha - Danny and Oswald. I LOVE them; I think they are GREAT and I'm so glad that they're doing well. I hope they kick every one's butts. And speaking of butts, let me now get on to Charla and Mirna.
So, first off, for anyone who doesn't know, Charla is a little person and she runs the race with her cousin Mirna, and these two are probably the most dislike duo in AR history. As much as people don't like having Rob and Amber in a competition, they dislike Charla and Mirna even more. Reason: they are whiny and annoying and quite honestly, though I've never watched it before I'm waiting for the "celebrity" boxing match between Charla and Mirna once Charla watches the show back and sees how Mirna was tooting her own horn and claiming that she has to work harder than anyone else in the race to make up for Charla's umm shortcomings -( haha that was my summation, she didn't use that word;) anyway she was doggin her and criticizing her like there was no tomorrow. EEWWWW Charla's gonna be MAAAADD and rightly so.
Now here's another tidbit about Charla and Mirna. Mirna, who is an attorney; claims to speak 5 languages - and I just have to say, Mirna, "accents and languages are NOT the same thing." OMG - Mirna will get in a taxi and put on what she thinks is a Spanish accent or a mid-eastern accent and try to tell the cab drivers to go or give them instructions. It's so flippin funny. I mean I think once I heard her speak another language, though I don't know what it was; but usually she just tries to feign an accent. So again I say "accent and language - not the same thing."
Here's another example of how hated these two are. In the last episode there was a road block (a task that only one team member may perform ) hmm, I just sounded like Phil (the host) there for a minute. Anyway, the roadblock was to go into this tiny one room post office and sort through the mailbags until you find the letter that has your team's names on it. Now first I have to say Mirna "you are an Ass!" why the heck would you choose to do this roadblock, when Charla had NO limitations on this one that would have hindered her performance. Little people can sort mail just fine, where hmm I don't know she seems to have a more difficult time w/ physical challenges; but you're right Mirna, you should sort the mail. That great reasoning probably comes in handy being a lawyer and all. (I should say for those of you who don't watch the show and just think I'm nuts at this point. Teams have to divide the road blocks, so they must take turns, and you obviously never know what's gonna come up, so If Mirna wasted a challenge like this and is kept from another road block which is more physical - "BIG Mistake, HUGE " To quote Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.
Boy am I getting sidetracked today or what? A particularly BUMPY RIDE. OK, so Charla and Mirna - now; once they find the letter they have to open it and read it and they discover that the letter is from one of the teams that they competed against in their original race. Most people received nice encouraging letters, team Guido received a funny letter and Rob and Amber's was well; not so nice. But Charla and Mirna: Charla and Mirna receive a letter from Marshall and lance; two brothers who HATED them; (and by the way , I hated Marshall and Lance, I thought they were a couple of schmucks! They were in another country trying to get directions and they were complaining that the people didn't speak English. See like I said schmucks! "It's their country numnuts; they don't have to speak ENGLISH"- unless it was England which it wasn't.) Anyway, Marshall and Lance wrote this nasty letter to Charla and Mirna talking about how Mirna is supposed to speak 5 languages and she doesn't even speak English. (I see a theme here for those brothers) But you get the point. Were Marshall and Lance the only people that they could get to write to Charla and Mirna? Are they that hated? Probably. I actually felt bad for them, because they had to read the letter out loud, and I don't think that was very nice of the producers - but oh well; they just don't ask my opinion, so what can I do.

Lastly, since I'm talkin "REALITY;" I would like to mention that Monday is the return of Dancing with the Stars. My husband and I saw the commercial last night and I couldn't have been more excited;. even he knew why... (sing with me) "My boyfriend's back and you're gonna be in trouble, hay na, hay na - yum, yum, Maks!!" (I just threw that part in) Woohoo, may my fantasies begin... Maks is back and I am a happy Queen. Queen of naughty thoughts about a 26 year old guy; I should be ashamed of myself; but he's just TOO beautiful and it's just TOO much fun!! OK, I'm lost in the Maks zone now that I'm thinking about him, so I'd better go.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING