Thursday, June 14, 2007

Lucy Incarnate

OK, I know that I have previously likened my life to an I Love Lucy episode and here is a prime example of why:
Try as I may; sometimes common sense just does not prevail. Lately I have been quite diligent, if not obsessed with flossing my teeth with these well, floss picks; if you will. So anyway, today while I was at work, I thought that I felt something between my two front teeth and I kept trying to swipe at it with my tongue; but that wasn’t helping. It would have taken very little effort for me to reach down into my purse and get a floss pick; but no, out of sheer laziness, I guess, I opted to use the corner of a check stub that I was about to discard. (I know - GROSS; and actually I cannot believe that I am admitting this in type, but hey it’s all for the greater good and your amusement.)
Anyway, I gently tried to dislodge whatever it was that I thought I had between my teeth; by using the corner of the check stub, and then - the corner of the stub ripped off and got stuck between my teeth. (Why am I suddenly hearing the voice of Rosanne Rosannadanna right now?) In Roseanne Roseannadanna voice “So I said hey, Queen of EVERYTHING, get that little piece of paper out from between your teeth – you’re making me sick.” LOL (And for those of you who have no idea who Roseanne Roseannadanna is; just re-read and leave that part out, and I am sorry, cause you don’t know what you’re missing.)
Anyway, so the paper is stuck between my teeth and you have NO idea the panic that had now taken over my body. I felt like such a moron; and really, all I could picture was Lucy in the same type of situation. Oh my god, it’s just laughable.
Well now I had no choice. I had to bend down the whole 2 feet and reach into my purse to get the floss pick; and after a few minutes, relief was mine.
I’ll tell ya; for a smart girl, I manage to do some pretty stupid things; but at least I get to share them with you.
Till next time…
Queen of EVERYTHING

4 comments:

The first reader said...

Ok....before...you were funny, witty, even hysterical...but THIS...this....well, this is just COMEDIC GENIUS. Bravo. Bravo!

mlk said...

Thank God you didnt have a wedgie today.

Voiceover Announcer said...

"Next time on America's Funniest Home Videos...(cut to Emergency Room bed) "Doc, I have no idea how that got up there -(sound effect: boingggggg)""

If at first you don't succeed... said...

No FREAKIN WAY,,,,,,That has happened to me so many times I am so ashamed to admit it. For you are the one who got me addicted to the whole floss the pick tool. Every business card in my wallet used to have rounded edges, maybe so I would"t poke my eye, but knowing me, that would follow. I use to get so much paper wedged in there, I honestly thought I was screwing up my dental work until I got it out. I know we are not the only "creative people" out there. My favorite place to business card pick was in my card, Oh, I am so pretty, so pretty. Sing along. Just don't use money, it's so useless and then while it's stuck you are thinking about how dirty it is, Hi, MY Name is "BEEP" and I have the same OCD problem. See you at the meeting.