(43-228) Neon BINGO

As much as I love to volunteer; due to time constraints, I don't participate in the PTSO at my kids school; other than assisting at the annual carnival, or attending their activities.  Well this year, we have somewhat of a new board; and I have to tell you that they've proven to be extremely creative and they've provided our students with a very diverse activity schedule that's I've been incredibly, impressed with.

A couple of months ago they offered Wii bowling on a Friday night; and even though we have a Wii and we have the bowling game; my kids still wanted to attend, because of the way that the PTSO had organized it.  They told the kids to get a team of four, or they'd be placed on a team when they arrived.  They charged $2 admission, and they had 4 Wii's set up, and they ran a bowling competition.  They sold reasonably priced drinks and snacks; and the kids had a great time.  From a fundraising standpoint, I thought this was a great idea, because there was virtually no cost for them to put on this activity.

Last night, they offered "Neon BINGO" in our library.  For one dollar you got a BINGO card and an individual candy of your choice, to use as markers.  You could choose from M&M's, Starburst or A variety of Skittles. They had thin vases, that contained a neon glow stick and 4 balloons on sticks, on each table; in addition to some other home meade decorations.   Again, from a fundraising standpoint, their expense was minimal, as most of the items could be purchased at the .99 store.  They had six  different types of BINGO games and they awarded prizes of your choice to the first three winners per game.  They sold drinks and snacks for .50 to $1.00 and they sold neon crappola too.

At first I thought that only my girls would play; but into the second game I realized that there was no reason for me not to play; so I bought myself a card with M&M markers.  I opened my candy, and caught up on my card, and then I remarked to the girls that Starburst probably wouldn't have been a good choice for a marker as they might stick to the card.  Kelsie then kindly said "Mommy, you're supposed to keep them in the wrapper."  OMG, HOW EMBARRASSING; my seven year old apparently has MORE common sense than I do.  I just had to laugh.

As if that little faux pas wasn't enough, I went on to further humiliate myself, when during the round they called "B&O Railroad," I yelled out "BINGO," after getting a BINGO on the "O" line.  Kelsie then leaned over and informed me that this was "B AND O BINGO," and I needed to get BINGO on BOTH The "B" AND the "O" lines in order to have BINGO in this round.  What could I say but "my bad; sorry."  And then we resumed our game.  In my defense, I must admit that I was not paying complete attention because I was writing out a congratulations card for Michelle M, who I was going to have dinner with right after BINGO.

Luis and Nicky joined us just as we were about to conclude the "B&O" round; and I left to go out with Michelle.  As I was leaving I made sure to tell the PTSO President what a good idea I thought Neon BINGO was.  I may not have won while I was there; but it was a winning evening for sure.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-59) Mistaken Identity

Tonight's topic was chosen from Mari's "Thoughts and Memories" jar.  The question was "What are your most embarrassing moments?"  Now being that I AM the Queen of MISHAPS; you'd have to imagine that I've had SEVERAL embarrassing moments; and you'd be right.  I alluded to my MOST embarrassing moment when I wrote "A Cure for the Hiccups;" although I wasn't able to share the exact incident given it's provocative nature.  And as I have had many embarrassing moments and am bound to have several more; tonight I'll share the most recent one; which occurred a couple of months ago.

Kelsie and I were standing on line at Subway, and a woman walked in, and she who looked very familiar to me.  The woman got on line behind me and we both said "Hi;" which confirmed to me that I knew the woman.  Kelsie then asked me who she was, and I quietly, said "She's the mom of a girl in Nicky's class."  Kelsie then went on to ask "which girl?"  I told Kelsie that she didn't know the girl (mostly because I couldn't think of her name; but also because I knew that Kelsie DIDN'T know the girl;) but being Kelsie; she persisted.  Kelsie continued to ask me "Which girl?  Which girl?"   And finally I raised my voice a bit and said emphatically, "Kelsie, she is the mom of a girl in Nicky's class and YOU don't know the girl!!"  And the mom awkwardly, replied "Um, I'm Carlos' mom from soccer."  OMG!  I was SO embarrassed.  I am usually so good about remembering people; and clearly this was a case of mistaken identity.
In my defense, soccer had been over for months and Carlos had been on Lyndzi's team 2 seasons ago; but I'd just seen and spoken to the mom of the girl in Nicky's class, a few weeks prior on a field trip.  I apologized profusely and she couldn't have been nicer about it; but of course, I was EXTREMELY embarrassed.
So a couple of weeks ago I happened to get a call from Carlos' much older brother, and he was asking about soccer registration.  I told him when it was and he said that he'd see me there; but instead of the brother, it was Carlos' mom who came to sign him up.  I greeted her and assured her that I knew exactly who she was this time; and she laughed good naturedly.
Now of course I know that nobody's perfect, and that we all make mistakes, and that stuff happens;  it's just a lil uncomfortable when we do it right to someones face and yours turns bright red.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

Kelsie Strikes Again

I am a big fan of Sweet Tomatoes ~ aka Soup Plantation if you live in California and if you're not familiar with it by either name; it's a soup and salad bar restaurant. Anyway, each month they have a different theme in addition to their regular offerings and April was lemon month; which I adored, so I was determined to go there for dinner on the 30th so that I could have my favorite salad just one more time. And because I know you'll want to know; it's lettuce with spiced pecans, cranberries, and blue cheese, tossed in a lovely lemony dressing. - YUM!

I took the kids to swim school, and ran them home to shower. In the meantime I checked my email and just in the nick of time, I received a Sweet Tomatoes BOGO coupon. Now as an aside, and in the interest of the greater good, I highly recommend that if you enjoy Sweet Tomatoes / Soup Plantation, you should sign up for their Club Veg; because they will email you GOOD coupons a couple of times a month.

Anyway, the kids and I pulled up to Sweet Tomatoes (Luis was in class ) and I realized that I didn't have any cash with me for a tip. This had happened to me a few weeks ago too (when Luis was in Vegas) but Nicky had money in the car and temporarily bailed me out. But this time; no such luck. I thought about it for a minute, because I really didn't want to go to the bank and come back; so I told the kids that if Amber (the cashier that we're friendly with) was working I'd ask her what my options were. Again luck was with me because Amber was there. I started piling up my plate with my yummy salad, when all of a sudden I heard Kelsie say "Um, Amber my mom has no money and she needs to ask you a question." OH MY GOD! I started waving my hands around like I was trying to clear the air or something; all the while saying "NO, that's not true; I just have a question;" and before I could say anymore, Amber said "I know what you're going to ask," and I said "no, I don't think you do;" and again she said "yeah, you want a coupon;" and again I said "No, I actually have a coupon; I just wanted to know what my options were for leaving a tip because I don't have any cash with me." And then I said "Thanks for giving me my next blog Kels." Amber told me that my only option was to give the waitress a check. And so when Luis called I explained this to him, but he vetoed the idea; so I told the waitress that I would go to Target and get some money and come back with a tip; which of course I DID.

Oh, it's never a dull moment with Kelsie around. Bring on the hiccups; I have a new most embarrassing moment that I can try out. I honestly don't know where she gets her chutzpah from (OK, yes I do; ) but I'm sure that I NEVER did things like that at her age; (5 going on 30.)

Now I ask you, how could I be anything but a writer when I have such marvelous stories to share - Hello Parents magazine...

Till next time...

Queen of EVERYTHING

You Asked For It...

Oh how my cup runneth over. I potentially had 3 different blogs that I could do tonight; which I must say is HIGHLY unusual for me. For topic #1, I was waiting for a piece of information . Yes, sometimes, I actually do gather information before I go typing away. And just in case said information did not arrive in time; I had a back up plan. Then at dinner, idea #3 presented itself; and just as I was ready to go with #2 or 3, I found that piece of information that I was waiting for when I got home; and hence I'm going with my original idea. Never fear, #2 and 3 will not be long to follow; and thus begins our Bumpy Ride.

Previously I have advised in disclaimers that this is not becoming an all scrapbooking blog, or not becoming an all political blog; and tonight I will follow those disclaimers with: This is not becoming an all Guy Collura blog; and yes BL, I have his complete and total permission to use his name; as THAT was the piece of information that I was waiting for.

Now, not to rehash this story OVER and OVER again, but I would like to just give my version of a "Reader's Digest" version of the whole story; just in case by some chance you've forgotten where we left off; OR if you happen to be joining me for the first time (WELCOME!)

In June of 2007, I posted a blog about meeting Maksim Chmerkovskiy from "Dancing With The Stars;" and I wrote about how I was SO nervous to meet him; and I likened it to how I felt about Guy Collura in high school; as I had this "crippling" crush on him etc. etc. Then a few months ago, I received a comment from Guy in regards to this blog; so I became painfully aware that he in fact had read all of my confessions about the crush. In his comment, Guy said that he noticed that I had taken a picture with Maks, but never with him. To which I replied; "I couldn't even say hello to you; let alone get close enough to take a picture." Well, after writing my blog entitled "Forty one candles" and exposing how utterly embarrassed I was that Guy had seen the blog; he again left me a comment or two; OK three, telling me not to be embarrassed; which I must say, was very kind, very gracious and very sweet; however, due to the conditions in which the comments (now deleted) were received; I was suspicious that perhaps it wasn't Guy who wrote the comments after all, but someone else; without as honorable intentions; and this forced me to go from being mortified to being to being courageous; and I found his number and called him. Yes, Yes, I know that if you've been following the blog, you've heard all this before. And you're probably thinking my god, what's #2 and 3. And if we're personally friends, you've heard it before ad nausea um; BUT if you're new to "TBR" let me assure you that reading each of the original posts will be FAR better than the synopsis that I am providing now; and yet, I REALLY do have a point.

When I spoke to Guy, one of the things that we discussed was how the comment section really picked up once he got involved. You see, Guy had made a comment inferring that there were naked pictures of him, floating around the Internet and this aroused the curiosity of many of my readers. The ladies commented that they would like to see pictures of Guy, (not naked; just pictures;) and he agreed to oblige them.

So now it seems that we've come full circle. I went from writing about a crush (and I never in a million years would have expected the crush to read it;) to actually being friends with him. And yah, I think we're friends. We've emailed a few times so that he could send me the pictures that I'm going to share; but hmm, now that I have them, perhaps I won't be hearing from him. I did suggest that he join Facebook, and we're "friends" there; so yah, I think it's safe to say that we're friends and after all these years; that is just mind blowing to me. Trust me when I tell you that if you would have told me back in 1980whatever that in 2009 Guy Collura and I would be emailing each other; I would have said "what the hell is email?" HAHAHA, OK, just kidding, I would not have believed it of course. But hey TRUTH really is stranger than fiction; ESPECIALLY in my life.

Funny, but I'm actually not embarrassed anymore. In a way, I'm actually thankful because after all of these years, I finally got to talk to the guy that I thought was so terrific; (really just based on what he looked like,) and it seems that he also looks good on the inside too.

Till next time...

Queen of EVERYTHING

Queen of EVERYTHING P.I.

After posting "Forty One Candles" I received some comments from GC. The comments were very nice, and assured me that I had nothing to be embarrassed about; however, there was cause for suspicion as to if the comments were actually submitted by GC himself. Now, Queen of OVERTHINKING that I am, ultimately kicked into operation as Queen of EVERYTHING P.I (I mean, why not - Richie Howell was a P.I so it must just run in my blood... right??) And as most P.I's don't work alone (remember Charlie's Angels, Magnum etc) neither did I. I had myself one cracker jack team; (who the hell, says that? I really am in P.I. mode LOL) anyway, Michelle (she´s been sending me emails with her last name actually listed as )K, Jackie, Jessica, Kate and Rachel all attempted to help me figure out this mystery.
So this was the sitch...
1. I received a total of 3 comments that were all variations of the same comment, but they were left on 2 different posts and at 3 different times.
2. The first of the 3 comments was left by 85Dutchmen (just like his very first comment on the other blog;) and the other 2 were from Dutchmen85.
3. All 3 comments asked me to say Hi to JV and I had no idea who JV was.
So, I ask you; given these facts, would you have been suspicious? Well, anyone who actually knows me personally, must know that my stomach was in a knot the entire time we were trying to figure out this conundrum. It's not that I WANTED the comments to be left by GC (no offense GC;) it was just that I didn't want them to have been left by someone else; and after the whole experience with the BL, I was nervous. I mean I am just a woman who is pursuing her dream and I didn't understand why someone would feel the need to tamper with that. Well, after a few days of torturing myself; and everyone else around me - I decided to do something that I thought was impossible for 27 years; and I called GC (Oh, yes I did!) OK, now it's not just like I HAD his number - I was able to find it on Zaba Search. I felt like I was in high school again, when I dialed those numbers and I just kept telling myself that it was for MY greater good. It took all the strength that I had, but I did it. I left a message and said something like"Hi, this is Paige and we went to Tappan Zee high school together and I was hoping to talk to you because I think that you left a comment on my blog etc. etc." I know; I'm crazy - but as with any problem, the first step is admitting it.
Anyway, I was really proud of myslf for facing my fear and leavng the message. NOT because I wanted to talk to GC so badly after all these years (no offense GC;) but because I went far outside my comfort zone and did something that was scary to me in order to preserve what I'm trying to build with this blog.
A little over 24 hours later GC left me a message and told me to call him back; so I did. Again I was nervous as I dialed his number; not so much to talk to him, and admit that I'd written about my crush, but more so because I didn't want to find out that someone had tampered with "TBR." Ater saying hello, there was a momentary pause and then he asked "So what about this blog?" "OMG! He has no idea what I'm even calling about" I thought; but then he said that he was only kidding and that he knew all about it; and he couldn't have been nicer.
As it turns out, all 3 comments in question, were in fact submitted by him. Mystery solved - score one for Queen of EVERYTHING P.I.
GC and I had a very nice conversation. He's happily married (put your Aw's aside - because so AM I;) and he really wasn't looking for naked pictures of himself when he came across my blog; and since many of you asked - he may even supply me with some pix (clothed of course,) so stay tuned.
So what has this experience taught me (other than that I may have a future as a P.I. if this writing thing doesn't work out...)
1. Proceed with caution (especially when using people's names in my blog.)
2. Most times what you imagine is far worse that what actually is.
3. If something is important to you; NOTHING should stand in your way - including fear.
4. A little embarassment won't kill you; it will just make you stronger.
5. Friends are invaluable. (But this I already knew!)

I hope that these lessons will prove useful to you too as we head into 2009. If anyone can find comfort or assistance from the experiences that I share, then a little embarassment now and then it is all the more worth it to me.
I wish you all happiness, health and prosperity in the New Year.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

Forty One Candles

Although I am not a fan of music on blogs; I am seriously considering adding my new theme song to "TBR" so that when you open it up, you'll hear "Oops I did it again," by Britney Spears - LOL. OK, OK, I'm totally NOT going to do that - but you get the picture. Maybe I should just consider changing that to the name of the blog - either that or I've got to check myself before I wreck myself. So you know this is a big one with an opener like that - right?

A couple of weeks a go I posted a blog about the lesson the dreaded, blogging lurker taught me (don't use people's names.) Well, I guess that I learned this lesson a little too late to save me from one of the most mortifying experiences of my life. Let's just say that if I get the hiccups, I now have a NEW, most embarrassing moment to think of.

Last Thursday night I arrived home and sat down at my computer, and much to my delight I found a comment waiting for my approval. You see ever since the unpleasant comments left a few weeks ago by the BL, I now have to approve the comments before they are published; sorry. Anyway, there was a comment on my blog that was entitled "what's in a name;" which ironically enough is the blog where I disclosed my real name and those of my family members. The comment was left by 85Dutchmen. Well, I graduated High School in 85 and our football team was called the Dutchmen; so I thought "Now this is getting interesting."
The comment said "I read post from July 07...I was mentioned in this post with Maks, and noticed you took a picture with him, but not with me. I guess I was only good from a far." GC

OK, now panic set in. I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach because if I had posted the picture of me and Maks (from "Dancing with the Stars",) then this comment had to be left by none other than the guy that I had a crush on throughout high school.
A "Crippling crush," to quote that particular blog. - Oh yes, I put it all out there for all the world to see (never imagining that they would.) No, I didn't hold back a a thing. I described to you, how the crush was so bad that I couldn't even say hello to him when I saw him in the hallway, because I just liked him THAT MUCH. I wrote that I was overwhelmed by my feelings for him; and now,the unthinkable has happened; HE has read the blog!

Oh at first I thought it was Big V playing a joke on me; but she has assured me that she has not; and I won't go into greater detail, but suffice it to say that I am PRETTY sure that it's him and not a prank. Well Michelle (...) K can tell you; I was freakin the _____ out. I was trembling, I was giddy, I was EMBARRASSED. It's as if he read my diary; and oh yah - I handed it right to him!! I mean never in my wildest dreams would I ever have imagined that he would come across my blog - but HE did. I don't know if he was Googling himself or if someone else Googled him (like god forbid his wife,) but regardless of how; the bottom line is - HE READ IT; and that in a nutshell is the utter craziness that is my life. I haven't said this in a long while - but you know you're going to say it with me; "Who could make this stuff up?" I swear, I feel like Molly Ringwald in "Sixteen Candles" when she found out that her friend's brother paid to see her underwear. Or Andrew McCarthy in "St. Elmo's Fire" when Ally Sheedy found his box with all the pictures of her and realizes that he has been in love with her - OY, My life is a teeneage angst movie and I'm 41. Well, not when it happened anyway, so I guess I should cut myself some slack; but we all know that if I did, I wouldn't be the Queen of BERATING HERSELF; the Queen of BEATING HERSELF UP. Damn I could sell tickets to a boxing match just me against myself, LOL

My friend Jessica has been trying to convince me that I shouldn't feel humiliated but instead proud; because I probably made him feel so good when he read about how amazing I thought he was. I would LOVE to believe that this is true and make some lemonade out of my HUMONGOUS lemon; so perhaps he'll leave another comment and let me know.

In the meantime I'll take pleasure in knowing that this is just another unforgettable tale in the saga that is my life.

Till next time...

Queen of EVERYTHING

A Cure for the Hiccups

This morning I came downstairs, and immediately started hiccuping. Lyndzi, (in her inimitable, sweet, Lyndzi fashion) said "Well, you can use one of the 3 cures. You can get scared, you can drink a glass of water in one gulp, or you can hang upside down. I suggest you drink a glass of water in one gulp." And then Nicky said "WELL, I suggest that you think of something embarrassing." Hmm, I thought, now that is an interesting suggestion and I had never tried that before, so I Immediately thought of what I consider my MOST embarrassing moment. Oh, yes, there are many and Queen of INDECISION that I am, you'd think that I might have had a tough time choosing; but oh no; I knew EXACTLY which embarrassing moment to conjure up, and let me tell you - as soon as I started thinking about it - the hiccups went away. UNBELIEVABLE, I tell you.
I asked Nicky where he had gotten this idea from; and he said that it was from his teacher - Ms. Schroeder - so THANK YOU Ms. Schroeder; YOU are a genius.
Now, I'm sure that you are all wondering WHAT my MOST embarrassing moment could be, and though I am usually Queen of FULL DISCLOSURE, this one I will have to keep to myself as "The Bumpy Ride is not ready for an X rated blog. I know; I'm a tease; what can I say? I shared the cure for the hiccups because; YES, "I'm ALL ABOUT THE GREATER GOOD;" but not to my own detriment. If you really need to know, ask me in private, but unless Hugh Hefner or Larry Flynt is calling me with a cash offer; this story will NEVER see the printed page.
Till Next Time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

I'll Admit It...

Disclaimer: Some of you may have already heard this story, though I told precious few due to the high embarrassment factor and fear of my husband finding out. That being said; this is the SAFEST place for this story to be told.

Thursday night I got a call from Tiffany around 945pm. Tiffany was very apologetic for calling me that late; since I've been getting up at 415 to work. Tiffany said that she didn't realize what time it was, but she had important news that she needed to share with me right away. I told her that it was absolutely fine to call me at that time and asked what the big news was. Well,there was this scrapbooking store that had gone out of business a few months ago, and the owner was now going to have a garage sale to sell off the rest of her inventory. Now this was BIG news. Tiffany said that the sale was supposed to start at 6am on Saturday morning, but she was going to call the woman to see if she and some friends could go on Friday. All you non-scrappers probably had no idea that scrapbooking was such serious business, but trust me, it is not only the act of scrapbooking that scrappers love, it is also the shopping for scrapbooking supplies, the organizing of scrapbooking supplies and yes, probably most of all; the THRILL of getting some outrageous deal on scrapbooking supplies. Yes, most of us do realize that we have a problem, and of course as with any addiction, the first step is admitting it; but then we shop.

Well, I quickly got to my computer and forwarded Tiffany's email to all of my scrapbooking friends. The responses came in fast and furious, and several of my friends responded that they planned to be at the woman's garage at 6am. I could not; but I had hoped to go later on Saturday, knowing that I was risking slim pickings. I was talking to Lesa G about the possibility of going and could not help but remind her of our trip to a similar garage sale a few years ago.

So, I think it was about 2 years ago that my favorite scrapbooking store at that time, closed. A few weeks or months later, I really don't remember which; the owners sent an email alerting it's faithful patrons that they would be having a garage sale to sell off all of the inventory that hadn't been sold during their going out of business sale. Lesa G and I planned to go the garage sale; I even got a babysitter. I met Lesa by the Bank of America not far from the garage sale address and we drove over to the sale together. By the time we got there; not much was left. I would definitely classify it as a waste of my time; and money, since I had actually paid a sitter to watch my kids so I could shop. Well, we got back to my car and I was saying goodbye to Lesa but could not find my keys. Lesa suggested that maybe I had left them at the garage sale and was prepared to drive me back over to check; but I said, "before we drive back there, let me just check my car to make sure I didn't leave the keys inside." I hadn't left the keys inside my car in years, but something inside my stomach sank as I peered in and saw that not only had I left my keys LOCKED inside my car, BUT the car was ON. Oh My God! What a complete and total idiot I am. And there sat my locked, running car right outside a bank no less. Oh, I am a piece of work!! Now say it with me "Who could make this stuff up?" OK, so I tried to think fast because the last thing I wanted to do was explain to my husband how I was so careless. Hell, I didn't even want him to know that I paid a sitter to go to a scrapbooking sale. Well, it was at this point I realized that I had a SERIOUS problem. I mean, was my addiction that bad that I could have been so anxious to get to the sale that I jumped out of my car, with the keys still in it and never turned the car off? I did however, lock the door; THANK GOD! For sure my car wouldn't have been there when I got back, had I not LOCKED THE DOOR.
Anyway, in trying to figure out how to avoid calling my husband, I realized that the passenger side window was sightly open; and though I am a BIG girl, my slender arms were able to fit through the opening and unlock the passenger side door. Hallelujah! There is a God.

Now Lesa G, good friend that she is, didn't laugh hysterically in my face at the time; though I know the mere mention of this incident must give her the giggles for a good 10 minutes. I was very selective in who I told this story too; because even for me this was a little TOO embarrassing; and to this day my husband has never found out; and I'd like to keep it that way.

Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

Lucy Incarnate

OK, I know that I have previously likened my life to an I Love Lucy episode and here is a prime example of why:
Try as I may; sometimes common sense just does not prevail. Lately I have been quite diligent, if not obsessed with flossing my teeth with these well, floss picks; if you will. So anyway, today while I was at work, I thought that I felt something between my two front teeth and I kept trying to swipe at it with my tongue; but that wasn’t helping. It would have taken very little effort for me to reach down into my purse and get a floss pick; but no, out of sheer laziness, I guess, I opted to use the corner of a check stub that I was about to discard. (I know - GROSS; and actually I cannot believe that I am admitting this in type, but hey it’s all for the greater good and your amusement.)
Anyway, I gently tried to dislodge whatever it was that I thought I had between my teeth; by using the corner of the check stub, and then - the corner of the stub ripped off and got stuck between my teeth. (Why am I suddenly hearing the voice of Rosanne Rosannadanna right now?) In Roseanne Roseannadanna voice “So I said hey, Queen of EVERYTHING, get that little piece of paper out from between your teeth – you’re making me sick.” LOL (And for those of you who have no idea who Roseanne Roseannadanna is; just re-read and leave that part out, and I am sorry, cause you don’t know what you’re missing.)
Anyway, so the paper is stuck between my teeth and you have NO idea the panic that had now taken over my body. I felt like such a moron; and really, all I could picture was Lucy in the same type of situation. Oh my god, it’s just laughable.
Well now I had no choice. I had to bend down the whole 2 feet and reach into my purse to get the floss pick; and after a few minutes, relief was mine.
I’ll tell ya; for a smart girl, I manage to do some pretty stupid things; but at least I get to share them with you.
Till next time…
Queen of EVERYTHING