A Brand, New Ride

Safeway is not usually my supermarket of choice (no offense Safeway); but it does happen to be the closest grocery store to my house, so I run in there -(OK - if you know me in real life, you KNOW I don't RUN anywhere); rather I stop there for any last minute necessities or bagels.  I'll give them that.  Compared to their competitors, for a supermarket, they have a decent bagel - but I digress...

So I stopped at Safeway for a couple of things and as I was attempting to select some bananas, I was mesmerized by the woman who breezed by, picked up a bunch, put them in her cart and moved on.  "REALLY?"  I thought, "It's just that easy for her?  No perusing for bruising or checking for firmness?  Just - oh these are bananas, I'll just take em and go?  Wow!  What must THAT be like?

Now I'm sure you're thinking (because you know I HAVE to tell ya what I think you're thinking.) "Seriously?  No blog for five months and she just starts off about picking some bananas like that has ANYTHING to do with (say it with me), "The Greater Good?"  But alas, it does... Somehow, standing there and thinking those thoughts I knew it was time for me to get back to "The Bumpy Ride", which some might say, is for the "Greater Good."; and that is why I chose to start out this long, overdue, post by telling you about the bananas rather than lamenting over what I've been doing and why it's been so long since I've written.

Trust me when I tell you that I don't consider myself any busier than the next person.  Which is to say, that I don't think you need to hear my excuses about how busy I've been and why I haven't been able to write. I can assure you that I am fully aware of the irony of my situation.  It baffles me how I managed to write "The Ride" everyday for a year last year and yet this is the first time in months that I've been able to make time to write.  But I swear to you, it's not for lack of wanting to.  If you're not a first time Rider, then you know I'm the Queen of COMMITMENT and over the past several months, I've had MANY.  So rather than telling you why I've been busy - in the interest of (say it with me) "The Greater Good", I'll tell you what I've learned...  One of the most important jobs of a parent is advocating for the best interests of your child - academically, athletically, emotionally, and psychologically.  It's often hard to know what to do, but it's your responsibility to figure it out and do all you can to help your child achieve all that they're capable of.  I learned that perseverance and honesty pay off. I learned that forgiveness is freeing and that confidence is the cure for anxiety.  I learned that no matter how full your home is, there's always room for one more.  I learned that making people feel good, safe and happy is one of the greatest things I do and its reward is more precious than money.  I've learned that old dogs can learn new tricks.  I've learned that even if your pockets are empty and times are tough, you can always find ways to be charitable.  I've learned that (as I've suspected), I really do have my finger on the pulse of  what's hot and upcoming.  Yes, last year alone, I wrote about Alex Guarnaschelli and how awesome I thought she was and now she's like the Food Network's next big deal.  Just check them out, she's popping up on all their shows. Also, you may recall that I predicted Billy Crystal would host the next Oscars and HELLO, have you heard??   I've learned that time can heal wounds, that help sometimes comes from the most unexpected places and that "Can't" means you haven't REALLY tried.  I've learned that you need to love and accept yourself even when you're not exactly as you'd like to be.  And lastly, (well probably not lastly, but lastly for the sake of this list),  I've learned that I'm not ready to give up on my dream.  And so, if you'll have me, I REALLY want to try and get back on track and start sharing my stories with you again.  There will be tales and pictures from my New York trip, I promise!  As well as all the observational humor that I can muster, and as many recommendations that I can make for yes, (say it with me again) "The Greater Good."

A GREAT big thank you to all of you who've encouraged me to start writing again and to everyone who has missed me and "The Bumpy Ride."  I've made a few changes, such as "The Ride's" new appearance, (please share your thoughts on that), my updated profile picture, AND I've decided that since all the things I am or am not Queen of, really just make me who I am; I'll now be signing off -
Till next time...
Paige

(43-365) I Did It!

In honor of this auspicious occasion, I can think of nothing more appropriate than to quote Dora the explorer and say "I did it, I did it, I did it - HURRAY!  Ya I did it!" I know that Dora says "we" not "I", but my monkey sidekick had nothing to do with writing "The Bumpy Ride" for 365 consecutive days, so I hope you'll permit me some creative license on that one.

When I wrote "43" on July 28, 2010, I said that I was committing to write EVERY day for a year PLUS my 44th birthday, so in fact my journey is not quite over; but I think that since this is the last night of my 43rd year it's appropriate for me to review all that I've learned during this excruciating endeavor so that tomorrow I can make a fresh start on a brand new year and the rest of my life. 

To quote myself in "43", "I believe this needs to be a year of recollection, reflection, observation, appreciation, and change; and I plan to do this right before your very eyes."  And, I'm delighted to say that I believe I have.  I've taken you on many walks down my memory lane.  Some strolls were happy and amusing while others were painful and heartbreaking.  I told you "My real life love story", and many, many tales of trial and tribulation.  I got definitions published in "The Urban Dictionary" and entered and lost my first essay contest.  I've written about fear, courage, optimism, perseverance, grief, empathy, sympathy and laughter.  I've shared quotes and songs from various genres, and demonstrated my prowess at Six degrees of Kevin Bacon.  I reported on a season each of soccer and swim team, enlisted your assistance with an art contest and battled an Art Nazi!  I've had thrills and spills, a number of firsts, and made several discoveries.  I found and fell in love with my cousin Jackie, I got three new jobs,  I renewed friendships, strengthened friendships and ended friendships.  I've taken chances and advocated for myself like I never have before.  I gave support, advice, and of course, recommendations for the (say it with me) GREATER GOOD!  And I truly couldn't be more proud of myself than I am right now.

When I wrote "Five Hundred" I mentioned that writing "The Bumpy Ride" every day for this year had been both a blessing and a curse.  I didn't elaborate on the negative; because ya know I like to accentuate the positive.  Yet I will admit that this challenge was far more taxing than I ever imagined.  The truth is that I usually give more though to what I'm gonna have for dinner than I did to what a big (yes) HUGE undertaking a daily commitment would be.  No matter how physically or emotionally tired I was - I had to write.  No matter what fun activity was awaiting me - I had to write.  No matter my location -I had to write.  And so with pad in hand I wrote as night fell upon the drive in.  I typed in a word document at the lake, in Laughlin, and while camping. Then I had to go find a public place with wi-fi so that I could capture the perfect picture to accompany the post and publish it.  I wrote from Las Vegas, and California (twice), not to mention having to get up extra early so that I could publish a post before spending the day in Disneyland.  Each blog took anywhere from half an hour to five to write.  And the award for the blog that took the longest to author, goes to "The Hostess With The Mostess", which I wrote while attending the best crop EVER at Mari's hobby  house.  Now don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining at all.  For me the pros definitely outweighed the cons AND now that I know for certain that I really can commit to doing something EVERY day; I'm gonna get my butt back to the gym, so that (hopefully) this time next year, I'll be able to report that I finally lost the hundred pounds that I've been talking about FOREVER.

If I've learned anything this year, it's this: First, I can do ANYTHING that I set my mind too.  Second, if you want to change your circumstances YOU can.  Third, you are only as limited as you allow yourself to be.  And fourth, to quote RuPaul  "What other people think of me is not my business."   

Once again I  want to thank everyone who has joined me on "The Bumpy Ride" this year and I implore you to keep coming back for more.  Even though this is the end of my year, it is really only the beginning.  I am so looking forward to sharing "44" with you tomorrow, so please make sure to stop by, as I'll be revealing  a very special surprise.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-363) Five Hundred

As the "43" series and my 43rd year are soon coming to an end, I'm reaching all kinds of milestones.  For instance, tonight's post is entitled "Five Hundred" as this is my 500th all time post on "The Bumpy Ride"!!  It hardly seems possible to me, but when you take into consideration that tonight's post is also my three hundred sixty third consecutive blog; it's not so difficult to understand how I arrived here.

I remember deciding to take a stab at writing a blog like it was yesterday.  I'd been having such a great time spewing my opinions about the Oscars and the fashions, that when Michelle M suggested that I write a blog, I thought I'd give it a shot.  Even though quitting's not my nature, I almost threw in the towel when I found out that I had to create  a title, a sign off name, and commit to what I was going to write about, because the tasks seemed so daunting.  But in no time at all - I knew.  To call my blog "The Bumpy Ride" only seemed natural, since I really do write like I talk -which is one of the reasons that (as you may have noticed),  my punctuation isn't usually correct.  This in and of itself makes for a bumpy journey - I know; but the name also derived from my storytelling style - which to this day I think fits it perfectly.  As for the subject matter, I've stuck to what I know.  My real life (bizarre as it is sometimes), pop culture,  and my observations about anything and EVERYTHING.  

Over time, "The Ride" has evolved into recommendations for (say it with me) "THE GREATER GOOD", and life lessons as I learn them.  In 500 posts I have yet to figure out why, although I'm so self-conscious, fear ridicule AND criticism; I never hesitate to share my most embarrassing moments, and my frequent faux pas with you.

From moment one, I explained that I wanted to become a professional writer, and even though I still may be a long way off from that ever happening; I feel like if even in a very small way, my stories have somehow made a difference.

The "43 " series has been the brunt of my 500 posts and deciding to write is has been both a blessing and a curse.  I've chronicled the year that theoretically could have been my last.  I was distracted, I was observant and I didn't miss a minute.  I documented my life past, and present and now have a testament to everything that I thought and did this year; which if nothing else, will be something that my children will be able to remember me by when I'm gone (a long, long time from now.) So yes, ultimately I truly do believe that it was a small price to pay for  the inconveniences.

My hope is that one day 500 will be the number of followers that I have, or the number of lives that I've positively impacted, or the number of dollars that I'm being paid for an article or to speak publicly.

I owe a debt of gratitude to everyone who has encouraged and supported me throughout my 500 posts.  Thank you to anyone who's shared my link, left a comment, or took the time to read.  I look forward to getting started on the next 500.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-312) Where The Ride Takes You...

Even though I am the Queen of INDECISION when it comes to trivial, insignificant things, (like what to have for dinner), when it comes to big life decisions, I can handle them without any hesitation whatsoever.  I'm pretty sure that I've acknowledged this a time or six before, but I just thought that I'd mention it again, in case you'd forgotten or by some chance were a new Rider. Anyway, I'm actually a little surprised at myself, because when it came to making the decision to blog every day plus one for a year, there were so many things that I didn't consider.  I apologize, because it's definitely likely that I've mentioned this before, but as I couldn't find evidence of where, in my archive; I'm just gonna forge ahead at the risk of being redundant.

I suppose that I can say that I thought that the end would justify the means and that no matter what I'd have to do to get the blog done every day, it would be worth it. And I can say that I do believe this is true; BUT, perhaps I should have considered the time commitment a little bit more before plunging right in. I might have thought of how I was going to have to fit writing "The Ride" into each and every day, regardless of if I had to be somewhere, was going to come home late, didn't feel well, didn't have anything important or interesting to share, etc. etc. etc. In the past 312 days, I've managed to write a blog while I was in Las Vegas, Laughlin, and California. I got up extra early, so I could write a post the day that I was going to Disneyland, I've written while at Michelle' M's for a couple of barbecues, from the lake, while at the drive-in, and even from my friend Mari's house during a scrapbooking crop. I've blogged while at the Dentist's office and the Orthodontist's and next weekend I'll have to find a way to blog and publish while I'm camping in Payson. Truly, these were obstacles that I hadn't considered; but I'm proud to say that  I've overcome.

I guess it's true, if something was easy, every one would do it. And at least I can say that I rose to the challenge. I honored my commitment and I am a better person (and hopefully, a better writer) because of it. I have learned a lot about myself, and about others. I've gained insight, perspective, and appreciation. I may never be a paid writer, but knowing that there are people who enjoy what I share, is payment enough.
As always, I thank you for the time that you take when joining me on "The Bumpy Ride." And I'm really looking forward to sharing my next 54 days with you.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-249) DETERMINATION

I've changed the title of today's post three times already, because I'm not sure exactly what I want to write about or what direction I want to go in.  I've called it everything from "INSECURITY," to "Should I Stay Or Should I Go," to "I Got Nothing," and right about now even "Pity Party" is sounding appealing.  So can you guess what's been on my mind?

I'm just you're somewhat average girl next door, so it's not EVERY day that something exciting or funny or blogworthy occurs in my life; and yet, my commitment to blog for 366 consecutive days, requires me to write about something exciting or funny or blogworthy; and today I'm at a loss.  I've decided that I need some re-direction, so please indulge me while I share ten fabulous quotes about Determination:

"Nobody trips over mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble. Pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find you have crossed the mountain." ~Author Unknown

"People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them." ~G.B. Shaw, Mrs. Warren's Profession, 1893

"The drops of rain make a hole in the stone not by violence but by oft falling." ~Lucretius

"I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday." ~Author Unknown

"Never think that God's delays are God's denials. Hold on; hold fast; hold out. Patience is genius." ~Georges-Louis Leclerc

"Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they've got a second." ~William James

"Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use." ~Earl Nightingale

"Look at a stone cutter hammering away at his rock, perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred-and-first blow it will split in two, and I know it was not the last blow that did it, but all that had gone before." ~Jacob A. Riis

 "The men who try to do something and fail are infinitely better than those who try to do nothing and succeed." ~ ~Lloyd Jones~

I feel better already!  And in the interest of (say it with me,) "The GREATER Good," I hope that these quotes provided you with some inspiration as well.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-163) 300!

So here's how my brain works; remember when Will Ferrell (as Craig) and Cheri Oteri (as Arianna,) did the Spartan cheerleader skits on Saturday night live?

Well, if you do, then you know that a typical cheer format would be something like: (Craig): "Who's that Spartan in my teepee?" (Arianna): "It's me, it's me" (Craig): "Who's that Spartan in my teepee?" (Arianna): "It's me, it's me." (Together): "Uh-huh, uh-huh. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh!" "Native Americans!" 

Now, if you've ever seen the skits that I'm referring to, right about now you should have yourself a good visual goin on; so hold that thought... And if you've NEVER seen it; then once again I sound like a loon, but please indulge me this one more time.
Now, with the cheerleaders in mind, it should make PERFECT sense, when in Spartan style I say: "Who's reached another milestone today?"  "It's me, it's me."  "Yah, who's reached another milestone today?"  "IT'S ME, IT'S ME!"  "Uh-huh, uh-huh. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh!" "300th post!"

WHEW, like giving birth sometimes I tell ya; but when I get an idea stuck in my head, I just gotta go with it; and that's exactly what I've been doing for 300 posts now.  300, that number seems so unreal to me; and yet I am hopeful that in just a few short months, it's a landmark that I will celebrate for a second time this year.  First now, for 300 total posts and then when I have completed another 137 posts and I submit #300 in the 43 series. Whoa, so many numbers my head is spinning.  I think it's probably best that I don't think in such big leaps, but simply continue celebrating the achievements as they occur.  I want to recognize my small victories, as I take baby steps toward this enormous goal.

In honor of my 300th post; NO, it won't be a list of 300 random things; or 300 anything for that matter; but instead only 3 things.  2 quotes and 1 song.  First for the quotes.  Yesterday, Michelle M, had this quote as her status on Facebook.  It's a quote from Aunt Frances, in the movie "Practical Magic;" and although I saw the film, I hadn't recalled the quote: "My darling girl, when are you going to understand that being normal is not necessarily a virtue? It rather denotes a lack of courage."  Just mull that over for a sec; cause I LOVE it; and I think it is VERY me.

The second quote, is by Mary Anne Radmacher; and it also happens to be about courage.  This quote is on a magnet, on my refrigerator; and I look at it EVERY day; and it inspires me. 
"Courage does not always roar.
Sometimes courage is the quiet voice
at the end of the day saying
'I will try again tomorrow'."

And with that, I give you one of my new favorite songs. A song that makes me want to get up and CELEBRATE!  It's Pink's "Raise Your Glass."  So CHEERS!
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-14) Welcome Back Commenters

I hate to admit it; but I am ridiculously thin skinned, which is why it's almost unbelievable that I endeavor to write a blog and put myself out there for the world to criticize. I generally give people's comments and opinions much more credence than I should; so to actually put myself in a position that invites people to tell me what they think of me on a regular basis is a real risk.  With that being said, I suppose that my NEED to write far outweighs my fear of criticism; and that's REALLY saying something.  Now don't get me wrong, for the most part it's been smoothe sailing on "The Bumpy Ride," and thankfully I haven't experienced an abundance of opposition.  I just want you to know that I am very motivated by your comments and I do take your input into consideration when I'm thinking of new blog topics; which is one of the reasons why your comments mean so much to me.  Whether it's a comment that's actually left on my blog, on Facebook, via email or even in person, I am grateful for all of your feedback.  OK, I'll say it, "Hello, my name is Paige and I'm a comment junkie."    I get very excited when I receive an email notifying me that someone has left a comment; and can you imagine my surprise the very first time that I got a comment in Chinese?  Now this may come as a shock to you, but I don't actually speak Chinese; however, I have authorized Blogger to translate my blog into other languages; and then when someone leaves me a comment in a language other than English, I copy and paste the comment into freetranslation.com to see what it says before I post it.  If it makes sense to me, I share the comment (even though YOU don't know what it says,) and if it is incoherent, I don't.
When I first started writing "The Bumpy Ride" I had a few friends who would comment regularly; and I truly appreciated the encouragement, but I got spoiled; and then if they didn't leave a comment I would assume that it meant they didn't like that post, when the truth of the matter was that they were probably just busy.  I NEVER want anyone to feel like they have to comment gratuitously, but there is one commenter in particular that I have missed...
It's been a while since Michelle M left a comment on "The Bumpy Ride," itself.  Occasionally she'll comment on Facebook or email me, but she kept telling me that every time she tried to leave a comment she was unable to see the the letters that she would need to type in order for the comment to be submitted and therefore couldn't leave her comment on the blog itself.  One other person had mentioned the same to me, but since I was receiving comments from other people I just figured that there was some kinda glitch going on and I didn't investigate further.  Well tonight Michelle M and Max came over for dinner and she asked if she could use my laptop to see if she could try to leave me a comment.  Of course I said yes; and after she got her comment all typed up, she called me over to show me that she was having a problem with my computer as well.  The problem was that the letters she would need to type were not appearing; and the box was blank.  I told her to just type something in the box; and by that I meant type ANYTHING in the box, but she took it literally and typed "something" and then new letters appeared.  AHA, I knew it!  For some reason it wasn't giving her letters to type, but once it thought that she got it wrong, it produced new letters and she was able to get through once and for all - WOO HOO!  Welcome Back Commenters!  Honestly, I'm rather impressed with myself that I was able to assist in bypassing this minor pitfall, considering how un-techy and un-computer knowledgeable I am; but I think Michelle M was even MORE surprised... It's true what they say; solving a problem is good for your self-esteem.  I'd felt better than I had all day.
So now I'm not sure that I haven't contradicted myself all over the place and I feel the need to surmise; so in short (YES, SHORT:)  I LOVE your comments, but I don't want anyone to feel that they HAVE to comment.   I revel in your reassurance and I am gratified by your praise.  When I wrote "TBR" on a less than regular basis, I knew that I was taking a chance each time I wrote; but now that I am writing daily, I find that sometimes it's easier for me to come up with a topic and sometimes its a challenge; but I / we need to keep in mind that my journey this year must cover ALL topics; from what I was thinking and feeling to a new recipe that I tried and EVERYTHING in between.  I just hope that you know that whether you comment or not; that I appreciate your time, your consideration and your patience.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING 

Blog Envy

To say that I've had myself a case of blog envy for the past few weeks, would be putting it mildly. After watching "Julie and Julia" (which I loved, by the way;) on New Year's day I was ridiculously, jealous of Julie's blogging success. I mean all she did (not to minimize it,) was to follow each recipe in Julia Child's cookbook and write about it and she got a gazillion readers, writing gigs, and a movie; and yet here I sit, coming up with original material of (I'm told) an admirable caliber, and I'm virtually unknown. Heck, even "Ugly Betty" started her own blog last week and next week she's up for a blog AWARD. (YES, I know that's pretend; but you get the picture!) I was in a nasty, unbecoming place.

So,in the midst of my covetousness and self doubt, I couldn't come up with a complete blog for last week and so I opted out. Oh, I had ideas alright, but nothing that I seemed to be able to formulate into an entire blog; though God knows I tried. First I started with "Ya Gotta have Friends," the blog I felt driven to write because when I was giving out fundraiser flyers to the parents in our soccer league and I asked one dad to take two, (so that he could give one to a friend,) he replied "I don't have any friends." Now, in his case, that's a statement that I easily could believe; because he is kind of a jerky guy and by a jerky guy I mean A JERK. But this other mom, (on one of my kids teams;) who is SO NICE and friendly with many other moms, gave me the same response; "I don't really have any friends" and that's when I started hearing Bette Midler's "Ya gotta HAVE FRIENDS" song, over and over in my head (to the point where I was frequently singing it out loud.) I was overwhelmed with a compulsion to write about how very sad it would be,not to have friends. I felt the need to write about how grateful I am for MY friends and how much I LOVE and rely on my friends; because they really are the family that you choose for yourself; but alas, no blog was written about it. (wink wink.)

I thought about giving you an update on Nicky and B (from the Winter Wonderland dance,) because although she was very attentive towards him when they returned to school; after the Christmas break, the same could not be said. In fact, Nicky came home after a couple of days of being back to school and he looked unusually sad. I asked him what was wrong and he told me that B was not talking to him anymore. He explained that he would say "Hi," but she didn't respond; and I just felt terrible for him. He hadn't even liked this girl before the dance and once she started talking to him, Luis and I encouraged him to be more friendly towards her and now he was heartbroken. For the next few days, I would ask if he had seen B and he would say "yes," and I would ask if they had spoken, and he'd say "no;" and so finally I said "well, you know what they say," and he replied "love em and leave em." Oh my god, oh my god; I laughed my butt off and so did Nicky. I was actually going to say "there are more fish in the sea." How on earth did my quiet, shy, boy know the expression, love em and leave em? I guess it just goes to show, you have to watch out for the quiet ones; but for some reason I couldn't convey that message in a blog either.

I thought about writing about how I hadn't been feeling the love for or from the world for the past few weeks, and how I couldn't put my finger on why; but now I know - it was due to the blog envy.

So on Tuesday I was at the Orthodontist for Lyndzi and I picked up an issue of "Parents Magazine," because although it's typically geared towards parents with younger children, there were a few captions that caught my attention; and while I was flipping through the pages, to get to the article about taking the icky out of the picky eater; I came across an article about moms who blog and need I say the blog envy crept in and almost choked me. It was truly a good article and highlighted some of the success that moms who blog had been having and there it was; right there in print it said GO TO Parents.com/mommy-blog to tell us about your favorite mom run blog and so I got the idea to enlist help from my Facebook fan club and friends.

I sent a message through the fan club and an email to approximately 20 people, requesting that they go to this website and let "Parents Magazine" know about me. I thought about checking the link before posting it, but yah, that would have just made TOO MUCH SENSE; and as I am NOT the Queen of THE INTERNET; I didn't. So was I surprised when shortly after sending these pleas out into the universe, my friend David emailed me to let me know that the link didn't work? Of course not; that's just par for the course for me. And in my own defense I'll just attribute my overzealousness to the fact that I had just been told Lyndzi's orthodonture was going to cost about $5000 AFTER my dental insurance and multi- family member discount and so I wanted to get the ball rolling immediately.

So, back to the drawing board I went. I emailed everyone that the link didn't work and I sucked up yet another one of my faux pas. But I will add, shame on you "Parents magazine." I really thought that there was a possibility that we were going to be getting to know each other; but alas; no. Or perhaps I should say; not right now. Of course you know that I am NOT giving up on this. I WILL find a way to get myself known and set myself apart from the thousands of mommy bloggers out there, because I am not JUST a mommy blogger; heck; I'm the Queen of EVERYTHING! But, if you have any ideas or know anyone who might be able to provide me with some assistance, guidance or encouragement; please send them my way.

In the meantime, I went back to that stinkin link and took another stab at it. This time I was more successful, though it wasn't as direct of a hit as one might have assumed by "Parents" link post. SO, at the risk of seeming like I'm begging, pleading, or sounding pathetic, you can email editors@goodyblog.com and let them know why YOU enjoy "The Bumpy Ride," which just happens to be a MOM run blog. You can also email any other literary magazine where you think they might enjoy my work. After all there is strength in numbers AND you know that I for one am ALWAYS looking out for YOUR GREATER GOOD.

Till next time...

Queen of EVERYTHING

My Big Lessons

I want to start by thanking everyone who read my more politically slanted blogs and honored my request not to leave opposing comments. I COMPLETELY understand that as this is a blog, people do like to make comments both positive and negative and this is something that I still have to get used to. Nonetheless; I am most appreciative for those who resisted the urge to slam me for my views.

Unfortunately, today, I had the experience of receiving a very negative comment from an anonymous reader. The commentor was upset with me for stealing the garage sale sign and failed to see that I myself had come to understand that my behavior was inappropriate and I was being karmically punished. I deleted the comment because I found it to be hurtful and cruel and I didn't think that anyone else needed to see it. I then changed the setting on the comment area so that no one can leave an anonymous comment any longer. The anonymous author then logged in as "Blogging Lurker" and went on to criticize me for everything from the length of my blogs, to my arrogance and my poor choice to use people's names in my blog. I had to think about this one for a while and I know EXACTLY what the lurker was talking about; and although most of his/her comments upset me greatly, he/she did have a valid point. I made a gross error in judgment when I wrote my Newman blog. I MISTAKENLY used the first name of the person that I was writing about. (I have since removed the person's name and now refer to her as So and SO.)

Trust me when I tell you that ANYONE who knows me, can tell you that I am the Queen of OVER THINKING. I edit this blog to the Nth degree; and there are times that I re-read a post's after they've been published and even though most of the readers have probably already seen it,I go back and edit whatever typo I've found. I mention this because I would NEVER intentionally use the name of someone that is not a friend; as I don't have the right to. When I wrote that blog I was in full swing of telling the story, and somehow missed that I had done this; and so believe it or not, I am actually GRATEFUL to the lurker for pointing this out to me. I have learned several BIG lessons. today 1 - DEFINITELY don't mention unauthorized names. 2 - Although I am attempting to be funny; there are a number of posts which may be construed as cruel or mean and that really is not what I'm here for. And 3 - There will be people who don't like my blog and don't like me and they will feel compelled to tell me about it. Well, it's 3 that I would like to address. At this point in time I am going to request that if you read my blog and you don't like it - please just keep on truckin. Don't leave me a comment and tell me why you hate me (or the blog;) just don't read it again. Not every blog is for everybody; just as not every book or magazine is for everybody and though I know it's your right to comment; I am asking you not to.

I hope that everyone understands; I'm not running for office, and I'm not trying to win a popularity contest; I'm just trying to become a writer. I like to entertain you with the insane stories of my life, and provide humorous observations; not because I'm perect or arrogant; just because I can - as can you on your own blog; if you would like to have one. And, yes, in addition to trying to put a smile on your faces I am also attempting to provide you with information that I think may be helpful; not as someone who thinks they are better than someone else but from one person to another; heck when other people pass good information, deals, recipes,treats on to me - I am PSYCHED and I want you to be too. I mean where else have you found techniques for bee removal. the recipe for Diet Coke chocolate cake, and a cure for hiccups ? It's all one stop shopping here at "THE BUMPY RIDE."

So at the risk of being accused of being verbose; let me conclude by thanking EVERYONE for taking the time to read my blogs. Thank you to everyone who does leave me positive feedback; and thank you to my friends for supporting me in my decision to keep on blogging. Thank you for your tolerance; as I'm still learning and I'm usually pretty good about not repeating my mistakes. I leave you with both my thanks and my apologies.

Till next time...

Queen of EVERYTHING

Please Stay Tuned...

Yay! I have my first non-Michelle (...) K request for a blog. Woohoo!

Now, Michelle my love; don't get your panties in a bunch. I asked for your requests; and I am EVER so grateful for them; but I now have a request without me directly asking someone to make a request. Oh, excuse me, I guess I did actually make a request when I wrote a blog saying "I'm taking requests;" but anyway, you get the point - someone made one and I'm delighted. I feel like Sally Field at the Oscar's "You like me; You really like me."

Now, here's the kicker. Nancy has requested a blog about how Luis and I met. Well, call me delusional or hopeful, or insane but I am SO convinced that our story is the material that Lifetime movies are made of; (even though neither of us has been abused, anorexic, arrested, bullimic, jailed, kidnapped, on drugs, on trial or killed;) that I want to copyright the blog before I post it. Did I say, call me paranoid?

Seriously though; those of you who already know of my love story can attest that A. This story is TV, movie or book bound, and B. It is Well Worth Waiting for. So, why am I blogging now? Well, it is part of my commitment to meet requests within 48 hours. This isn't quite the same thing, but it is a blog about a blog. I'm having a Victor Victoria moment. Anyway, PLEASE stay tuned and as soon as I get copyrighting figured out; I promise to bring you one of the most fantastic love stories of all time.

In the meantime, here's a picture....

OK, probably not what you were expecting. This is actually me and Michelle (...)K

NOW, here's a recent photo of me and Luis; taken by Kelsie (age 4)

Till Next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

New and Improved

I'm back. My tantrum is over and I'm moving on. It's time for me to make some changes; and I plan to start now - after all, wasn't I the one who was claiming to be the Queen of DETERMINATION just a few short weeks ago? Well, the Queen has put on her big girl panties (God, I'm lovin that expression lately; and my nearest and dearest can attest that I've been using the heck out of it - but hey if the panties fit...) Anyway, since I am so determined to turn things around and take my shot; here is the new and improved Bumpy Ride, by the new and improved (down 30 lbs now) Queen of EVERYTHING.

For starters, The Rides new look is apparent; and I must extend my thanks to Jackie for helping me out with that. I actually thought about adding music to the Ride but I was afraid that people would find it too distracting when trying to read, and we all know that the last thing I want is to hinder anyone from reading and enjoying my blog - so for now please enjoy the quiet that The Ride offers, as I know sometimes it takes EVERY bit of concentration to follow where the heck I'm going.

Now, you know how time and time again I have blamed my blogging delays on lack of quality subject matter? Well, since it is my fervent hope to increase the frequency of my blogging, I've decided to try requesting questions and suggestions from those who enjoy The Ride and want to read more of it. I'm hoping that by doing so, I'll have a whole lot more to blog about. So here's how it's going to work (I hope.) If you have a suggestion for a blog topic, a question about me, or just want my opinion about something; PLEASE leave me a comment and then I Will do my best to post a blog within 48 hours.

My first suggestion has come from Michelle (July has come and gone and she's still not legally) K; who has asked for my top 10 movies of all time; as well as my top 10 movies that I just can't pass up. You know, the kind of movie that when you're changing the channels and you come across is, you can't NOT watch it; (even though you may own it on video or DVD) and no the 2 topics are not necessarily one in the same by any means. Please feel free to leave your lists as well, this way maybe we'll all find a new fave or guilty pleasure.

For today I'm going to tackle the Top 10 movies list; this way I'll save the Top 10 movies I can't pass up for my next blog. (see, thinking ahead, planning to blog in the near future - this my friends is PROGRESS...)

Now please keep in mind; although I run an annual Oscar pool, when it comes to movies my tastes are pretty shallow. What I mean by this is, chances are I will NOT see an epic. I do not like movies that I have to think to hard to follow. I like my movies to be clear and entertaining; that's just the way I roll. (Another expression that I'm loving the heck out of.) Anyway, I am (as I've mentioned before) the Queen of B RATE movies. I still love and could quote ad nausea um "Sixteen candles", "St.Elmo's Fire", "About Last Night" etc, etc. These to me are true CLASSICS. I have yet to see "Casablanca", or probably any other picture made since; of the same caliber or Stature; and that's OK with me. I will say that I LOVED "Dangerous Liaisons;" I thought it was BRILLIANT as was it's counterpart "Cruel Intentions;" those were story lines that you had to pay close attention to (at least I did) and though I saw them, and they are not my typical viewing fare; I thoroughly enjoyed them. Basically I just love movies that make you feel EVERYTHING. Movies that have you laughing one minute and crying the next; A la "Beaches" or "Steel Magnolias;" though neither of those are on my list. (Loved em' but 10 is 10 baby) ask me again tomorrow and it could be different; but at this very moment; THESE are my 10;(in no particular order; even though they're numbered; EXCEPT for Numero UNO, that really is my NUMERO UNO.)

10. "Cousins" - This was a movie back in the 80's that I could watch every day. It stars Ted Danson and Isabella Rossalini and it is a FABULOUS love story. One of the things that I love about it is how the scenes move on through a series of weddings. It's fresh, and endearing, and certainly worth watching if you never have. This is a movie that I could still watch again and again.

9. "Mystic Pizza" - Yep,another oldie but goodie. I LOVE the cast in this movie. Of course there's Julia Roberts, but also Anabeth Gish (who I just love,) Lily Taylor (who we need to see more of in the future) and Hottie McHotterson, Vincent D'onofrio (yes, he's that guy on one of the Law and Order shows that I don't even watch, and he's not so McHotterson now - but then man, whew he was exquisite - sorry fellas. But it's got Julia Roberts too, so there's someone for your viewing pleasure as well.) Anyway, GREAT story. I can't imagine that you haven't seen it yet, but if you haven't and you want some light entertainment, grab up The pizza and settle in.

8. "Pretty Woman" - While I'm on the topic of Julia Roberts, what more can I say. The Quintessential Julia Roberts movie, the Quintessential love story, with some lines that still bare repeating today. As a matter of fact just last week the scrap girls and I were quoting this movie. So unless you've been living under a rock for the past 20 years, I'm sure that you've seen it; but heck, who couldn't always see it again?

7 & 6 "Parenthood" & "When Harry Met Sally" - Let me explain why I have grouped these 2 together. Both movies came out in the late 80's and at that point in time, I actually would go to a movie in the theater more than once (OK, like 6 times even) if I really liked it, and both "Parenthood" & "When Harry met Sally" were multiple movie going experiences for me.

"Parenthood" was just a hoot and a half with an all-star cast lead by Steve Martin. Even though I was no where close to becoming a parent when I first saw it; I found it HYSTERICALLY funny and moving. I think it's a movie that could stand the test of time and I could watch it over and over STILL.

"When Harry met Sally," again, unless you're a Rock Dweller or maybe a guy (sorry guys no insult intended it's just that this was definitely classified as a chick flick so I know that could be a reason that you may not have seen it) but girl's c'mon I'd find it tough to believe that any of you out there hadn't seen it; and don't we all just LOVE,LOVE,LOVE this movie. I mean any movie that could endear Billy Crystal to you as a romantic lead - I say KUDOS, KUDOS, KUDOS and Meg Ryan - well she's just perfect. I know we all love the deli scene but that's just the tip of the iceberg. This movie is and always will be a classic and so I say, "Way to go Meathead - GREAT flick!!"

5. "The Holiday" (Yes, I have seen a movie since the 1980's - LOL) This film was out last year. It starred Cameron Diaz, Jude Law, Kate Winslett & Jack Black. It is a fantastic, make you feel EVERYTHING kinda movie and I find it to be DELIGHTFUL. I don't want to give any of the story away; but if you haven't seen it, run don't walk - because it's a winner!

4. "Fifty First Dates" - I love Adam Sandler (he cracks me up,) I love Drew Barrymore ( I just find her to be so down to earth,) I love them together (they are a great combo) and this movie does not disappoint. It is a love story, it is funny; and some of the funniest lines are from Sean Astin (he's not just a hobbit any more - haha I haven't seen any of the Lord of the rings movies - surprise, surprise, so I don't really know if Hobbit is the right word for his character - but you get my drift.) Anyway, this is not infantile Sandler - this is a REALLY good movie (for guys & girls both.)

3. "Wedding Crashers" - My God do I love this movie. This movie CRACKS me up like no other; even though I can't help but stare at Owen Wilson's nose when he is on screen and personally he is NOT my fave; but I love me some Vince Vaughn and Will Ferrell is a riot. Luis and I quote this movie EVERY DAY; and we rarely enjoy the same movies. You'll see this one on my can't pass it up list too; because EVERYTHING about this movie is a must see - over and over and over again.

2. "Sex and the City" - Now you know I LOVED this movie. With the price of tickets these days, I actually went to see this twice in the theater (OK I had a free ticket once) but I would have paid, I would have, I would have. I was not a regular viewer of the show, because I didn't have HBO when it was on, but I have seen the G rated version on regular TV, and none the matter; as you could fully enjoy this movie without ever having seen one episode of the show. And Mr. Big - YUM, YUM, YUM! It's funny, he's not the best looking guy in the world - but there is just something about his whole package that is Sexy personified. His voice, his style, his mannerism, his persona - S-E-X-Y! Now don't get me wrong; I don't love this movie because of Mr. Big alone. This movie is a standout because of ALL of the characters, the relationships, the dialougue and really, just like BIG, the movie really is THE WHOLE PACKAGE. Honestly, Don't miss it. I personally will be on line to buy the DVD the minute it comes out.

1. "Life is Beautiful" - I have referenced this movie in several different blogs. This is my all time favorite movie and all I can say is; Roberto Benigni is a GENIUS. This movie takes place In Italy during World War 2 and it is a love story beyond compare. I don't want to give one second of this movie away. I'll warn you that it is in subtitles which I personally try to steer clear of but I'm telling you that it will NOT matter. You must see this movie. If you have any doubt about the value of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, if you need to be reminded what it's all about, or simply, if you have a heart - you NEED to see this movie and if you watch it at my prompting, PLEASE let me know, because i think it is the most PROFOUND movie to date that you could ever have the pleasure of watching - and you know I'm all about the GREATER GOOD; just get your tissues ready.

OK, so now I've said not so much about way too much, so I gotta hit the road. I had told Michelle (...) K that maybe by writing my blog more regularly, they'd actually be shorter - haha WHO AM I KIDDING? But seriously, it is not my aim to be verbose; say it with me "It's just the way I roll."

Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

Here we go again...

Hey, Hey Hey (a little "What's Happening" reference for you.) It seems like it's been forever. Part of my distance may have been blogger's block, or maybe I'm just using that as an excuse because it was more like blogapobia: fear of rejection of your blog (things seem to have gone downhill with my blogging since the posting of my Why Disney blog; and by downhill I mean, like 1 comment.LOL) Seriously, I think my blogaphobia meant that I was afraid to disappoint my 4 readers, hahaha. I've given it a lot of thought,(as I always do, being the Queen of Over thinking) and it seems to me that people seem to enjoy the tales of my insanity and ridiculous experiences and by enjoy I mean; they leave comments. Ah yes, tis the fragile ego of this blogging Queen who seeks encouragement and validation in the form of comments on my blog.

I equate enjoying my blog with rubbernecking; you know, what many people do when they see a car accident. Traffic tends to slow down because the drivers are looking at the accident; but instead reading my blog is like peering into an accident. The accident that is the ridiculous and bizarre things that tend to happen to me and not the average Joe or Josie. Well, it is a Bumpy Ride so I say rubberneck all you like; just please let me know that you're doing so from time to time.

So anyway, of course a few things have happened that I have considered blog worthy, but I have been even more crazy, busy than usual and I never made it to the computer to share them with you. But today something happened and I knew, I just knew that I had to share it but I really didn't think I'd find the time; so I opted to call a few friends instead and try to just tell them what had happened. Well, I tried to call 4 friends, that's right 4 friends and one I even tried twice and not a one was home (or at least they didn't pick up the phone - Damn caller ID.) LOL Anyway, I thought this might be a sign that indeed this story needed to be blogged instead and then it happened. I came home and the cable was out. Computer too - Damn Cox. But now I had something that I never have - TIME. SO I got out my notebook and started writing away. Cox got back up (no pun intended) and now I'm typing away.

OK, so I was at my son's soccer practice and after chatting with a few moms in the parking lot, I made my way over to the field. I put my chair in close proximity to the only other mom at the field. Not right next to her; but close enough to have a conversation. She looked very tired and her voice sounded like she had a cold; and even though the only times she's spoken to me were when she responded to me saying hello to her; I still felt compelled to ask if she was OK. Now I don't know her name, but for the sake of this blog, I'll just refer to her as WT (White Trash). OK, so I ask WT if she's not feeling well and she told me that she was exhausted. She said "I've been working; and I'm not a worker." Now there's a statement. That should have told me right away who I was dealing with, but NOOOO; I continue. I asked her what kind of work she was doing and she said "Well, I'm temporarily disabled but I've done child care my whole life, so I'm working in a daycare." She said "It's in Scottsdale and I hate all the skinny, snooty, bitches." (she's a big gal herself.) And then she said "And to top it all off; they're all Jewish." Say it with me people "OH NO SHE DIDN'T!!" OK, so I couldn't believe my ears and felt myself thinking in slow motion. How the hell was I gonna handle this one? Now, admittedly I am NOT the Queen of Jews, not by a long shot; BUT I am very proud to be Jewish and I absolutely despise people who stereotype Jews or make derogatory comments based solely on their own ignorance. OK I said it, I HATE stupid people. Anyway, though I'm not usually the Queen of Restraint, I calmly, and with a big smile on my face replied "I'm Jewish." Though in hind sight I wish that I'd said "What do you mean?" Anyway, WT tried backpedaling and said "Not that that means anything." She said "I mean I think the religion is fascinating." (Yah, sure you do.) When I asked how long she thought she'd work there, she said "Well my boss is really great; I mean I call out at least once a week and I don't work Fri, Sat or Sun."(Can you say Squeaky wheel?) "So I told them I'd stay till Chanukah. I figure I'll get my 12 presents and then have Christmas." And for all my non-Jewish readers; there are only 8 nights of Chanukah,"8 crazy nights" - to quote Adam Sandler, not 12 - but she's FASCINATED by the religion - greedy heffer. She went on to say that these skinny, snoots drop their kids off to go to the gym. And as I said, she's a bigger gal so I suppose she resents them from the get go. She spoke of one skinny, snoot in particular who only spoke Hebrew and only to the director when she goes in to the center. My guess is she's a smart, skinny, snoot and she recognizes that WT would be a a complete waste of her time so she doesn't bother to speak to her in any language.
OK, so I know that you're probably thinking, that's it? Your big response was to say "I'm Jewish" and then have a conversation with her? Now c'mon, you know better than that. What I said was "I know exactly what you're talking about with skinny, snoots because there are these 2 women at my daughter's preschool and 1 is very thin and the other is very fit; well at least to hear her tell it, she is." I then said that I didn't like the "fit" woman because she had a bumper sticker on her car," Wait, wait. And I said "I won't tell you what it said; because you never know who you're talking to; but I know what it means and I don't like her." This tidbit actually is true and I doubt she got my message but hopefully she's smart enough to feel stupid. Should be interesting to see if she ever speaks to me again; or will it be clash of the soccer moms? I'll keep you posted.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING