Disclaimer: Anyone who comes to my home within the next few days - I was informed that my blog was long overdue; so please excuse our mess.
Ok, so I've been busy, yah, crazy busy, and one of the things that I have been busiest with - yes I did it; I joined the gym!! Now first I'd like to pose the question - if one has never been in shape; how can they be out of shape? I'm sure I'm not the first person to ever ask this question. I'm sure it's been asked before by someone smarter, funnier and let's hope; fatter than me; yet it does make ya wonder...
Now admittedly I have NEVER gone to a gym. Well, I shouldn't say NEVER. This one time in band camp - (ha ha, No, not band camp; college.) This one time in college, I needed an extra credit, so I signed up for I think they called it weight training, but I went once and I NEVER went back - it's the only class in college that I ever failed; but me trying to work on those machines in front of really hot guys - yah, I was just too uncomfortable - and I was like a hundred pounds lighter then so imagine how great I feel walking into the gym now.
So picture this; I went to the gym with Michelle (Contemplating becoming legally) K and I spoke to Jesse the manager and he asked "So Paige where's the last place you worked out?" I had to laugh, I was like "Um - Woodglen Elementary 1979" haha, just kidding. What I actually said was "ah, no where, that's how I wound up in this shape." I mean who's kidding who - from May 1999 until early 2006, the only working out I did was lifting my size 42 DDD's a bazillion times a day to nurse a hungry baby and if that doesn't count there's been no working out for me. OH, except for this one day last year when I bought a Carmen Electra strip aerobics DVD; (yes, you read that right, I thought I'd kill 2 birds with one stone.) I tried it once, and word to the wise; don't attempt to make Cinnamon rolls while your doing an exercise DVD, it just doesn't work out and the rolls burn...
So anyway, I joined the gym last Sunday and so far I have gone everyday except, Friday and Sunday. I was feeling pretty proud of myself until last Thursday when I was convinced that this very fit girl was taking pictures of me with her phone and posting them on You Tube. (Do I have a healthy ego or what??) Now you may ask what I was doing that would have prompted her to snap my photo; but suffice it to say I have yet to figure out all of the circuit training devices and my means of getting in and out of each, aren't exactly orthodox. A la another Lucy moment no doubt. Top it off by just being considerably older than her and unbelievably outta shape and I'm sure she and her friends were having a rousing laugh at my expense. Alas misery does love company and although Michelle (Contemplating becoming legally) K has taken me under her wing and tried to show me how to use the machines; to my credit it was me who actually showed her how to properly open the leg rests of the hip abducter (Boy you should have seen us trying to maneuver our way into that machine before I saw someone pull up the plunger like control on the base) YIKES! We must have been quite a site - especially coordinated me. Oh boy, I hope you guys can picture this because this time even I have to laugh at myself. The word pathetic comes to mind; but hey I am the Queen of BEING HARD ON HERSELF so did you think I would cut myself some slack - heck no!!
Well, MCblK recruited me, and I've recruitred Lesa G, and Lisa B says that she's going to join too; so the fun is just beginning for me at the gym - Gee Luis I don't know why it takes me 3 hours to do a 1 hour work out - LOL Nah, that would never happen and truth be told I'm getting quicker and quicker. Yesterday I walked over a mile and then rode the bike for more than 10; in just 55 minutes. Every little bit counts I'm sure because it's a ton more than what I wasn't doing 2 weeks ago.
And here's that irony again; I just proof read this blog to my wonderful husband and he didn't laugh once. Ahh, the injustice; my humor is completely wasted on him; thank god I have you.
Well, that's it for now. I have to get ready to go the gym. Ya know it's true, once you start going, it's addicting - I mean I actually find myself looking forward to going. Who woulda thunk it.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING
2 comments:
This is funny, but funnier yet is that the ads that came up on the blog are still for toenail fungus. I guess blogger just can't let it go...
January 31st - 6:30 PM - last day of the promo to join my local gym - last half hour that the manager was there to sign me up - I dragged myself all of one block - yes I can walk there - and joined "Anytime Fitness". I have joined and failed gyms before so this time my approach is not to go wild and workout everyday - but to commit to every-other-day for one hour. The gym is 24/7 with a little electronic key to buzz myself in and out - so I can actually go when no one else is around (Grace!). It also has tanning so I can pretend I live in a warmer climate (yesterday was high of 24 degrees). So imagine this - black yoga pants, black anklets - sneaker clogs - gray t-shirt - brown winter coat - with brown skull cap - and a fuzzy scarf - haulin myself to the gym yesterday - even my mother commented that if it were her - I wouldn't be caught dead wearing that outfit - but alas the workout regimine must go on and my I DO feel better once I have gone. Good luck girls and pace yourself!!!!
Bobbi
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