Wednesday, December 24, 2008

When Ya Gotta Go...

DISCLAIMER: For some this just may be a little TOO MUCH INFORMATION.

After arriving at my in-laws, we were promptly fed copious amounts of food. Carne Asada, rice, beans, guacamole, tortillas and Diet Coke. I think that it is a commonly known fact that Coke in Mexico, tastes different than the Coke in the states; and by different I mean better. I don´t know if the syrup is sweeter or what exactly makes it better; but just like Domino´s - it just is. I had told Luis before we left for our trip that although I LOVE Mexican Coke (That doesn´t sound right - does it...) that I was not going to drink any because I am ONLY drinking Diet soda and one sip of the regular and I knew that I would be hooked. So imagine my surprise, my delight, to find that Diet Coke is ALSO much better in Mexico - YAHOO!! or should I say Arriba, Arriba, Arriba!! Which according to Luis is the Spanish equivalant to Yahoo! Hmm, and I always thought that when Speedy Gonzales said that; he was telling the other mice to go Up, Up Up! LOL.
So, as I was saying - The Diet Coke is DELICIOUS; and trust me when I say that I never thought that delicious was a word that I would use to describe a dietetic, carbonated beverage - but I must!

My in-laws have a very modest, very large, home. Well, basically I guess you could say that it is more like a compound. There is an enclosed patio at the entrance, a small living room, kitchen and 2 small bedrooms. The bathroom and shower are outside in the courtyard, but they are enclosed and the courtyard is also filled with various plants and trees. There are 4 apartments on the ground floor, each with its own shower and toliet at the back of the house and on the upper level of the house, there is a beautiful terrace, 4 more bedrooms and another living room and kitchen.
Typically we stay upstairs but as the apartments are currently vacant; we chose to stay in one of those instead. When given the choice it was a no brainer for me, because even though we rarely go to the bathroom in the middle of the night; it seems inevitable at my in-laws, and all of the bathrooms are downstairs.
When I saw our apartment I was thrilled with our decision and made a mental note of how MUCH easier it was going to be to go to the bathroom. I woke up in the middle of the night and I had to pee like a racehorse. (It must have been from all of the delicious Diet Coke.) I happily went to the door, anticipating how much quicker and easier I was going to make it to the bathroom and I was horrified to find that I could not unlock the door. I know (now) that it required some kind of twist and pull action; but with my legs crossed and the pressure building, I just couldn´t figure it out. So, in a moment of desperation I grabbed a cup and proceeded to pee; right there in our kitchen. As I am the Queen of CLUMSY, it took me quite a few attempts to get the cup in the right place; and about 4 pee and dumps (yes, I still LOVE the Diet Coke) and finally; I was done. I cleaned up the floor, cleaned out the sink, threw away the cup (I hope;) LOL, (No, I know that I threw away the cup;) and went back to bed sans pajama pants, which got slightly wet during the first few "attempts." A few hours later I threw on some shorts, successfully unlocked the door and went to the bathroom again. In 41 years, I have never been so thankful to unlock a door in my life. You would have thought that I was Geraldo Rivera opening up Capone´s vault and actually finding something in there.
Oh, why is it that I am willing to sacrifice my privacy and my dignity for the sake of this blog? Why do I repeatedly share my mishaps, and acts of utter stupidity with you? I guess, I am just trying to adhere to that old addage "write what you know."
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

2 comments:

Michelle said...

After all the times you made me pee my pants with laughter, I am so glad you shared a urinary mishap with all of us!!!

Rachel said...

I am officially peeing in my pants in solidarity and laughter. Only you! Love ya...