Tuesday, October 28, 2008

What Have I Become?

I'm actually a day ahead of schedule this week. I've committed myself to writing my blog every Wednesday (at the least) but as the 29th is The Big Guy's birthday; and by The Big Guy I mean Luis - I thought I'd try and get this out today.
So now, I'd like to call your attention to the photo above. This photo, God help me; is actually a picture of my feet on our last camping trip (Columbus Day weekend.) "And the chorus gasped!!" And by the chorus I mean ANYONE who knew me prior to my first camping trip in June 08'. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. In my day; and by my day I mean the 80's, 90's and heck - present day; I'd like to think (barring this faux pas;) I was quite the good dresser. Some might even say JAPPY; OK; yes, some did say JAPPY. But as I liked to say back in the day (College, mostly) I had JAPPY clothes but not a JAPPY attitude. And just as a refresher, for those of you who do not remember or are not familiar with the term JAPPY - it is a derivative of JAP - Jewish, American Princess.
OK, so I'm sure you must be wondering (because HELL, I am) what in the world would possess me to wear socks with these flip fops. And the answer is.... The Big Guy, decided to wear my Hot Pink Crocs, and it was cold. Necessity was the mother of invention and hey, it worked. My feet were comfy (and warm.) I was so appalled by myself, and the fact that I even considered this footwear, that I HAD to take a picture to share with you; because you all know how much I LOVE making an ASS out of myself in public. Rest assured that I did remove the socks in the car, BEFORE we went into the local Sam's club. God knows, I wouldn't want anyone in the real world to see me attired like this. Luis on the other hand planned to wear my Hot Pink Crocs into Sam's until I mentioned what a real man he was for doing so; and he thought better of it and decided to trade back with me. Yes of course ALL of this means that Luis and I can share shoes; just yet another pathetic part of my life - The curse of the extraordinarily, long feet. (Yes, I know - at least I have feet...) Too bad The Big Guy isn't a cross dresser; then I might actually get to wear some cute shoes. And the crowd just gasped again "Did she say - Too bad her husband isn't a cross dresser?" In theory people, in theory - it's too bad. I'm actually VERY thankful that he is the lovable, Hunky, Big Guy that he is. We had a GREAT camping trip with the Kalka's. That would be Michelle ( The other day I did hear her trying to convince her husband to change his last name to hers in stead of her becoming legally) K's family. (God I crack myself up sometimes.) We went to Lake Pleasant; which is about 35 minutes from my house; but it was PERFECT. We saved on gas; it was clean (that's right, I said clean.) It was rocky, as you can tell from the picture, so we were not NEARLY as dirty as when we camped up north. We did trade in some scenery for some cleanliness; but I'm all good with that. We're talking flush toilets people; and no one had to hold the door open so you didn't pass out from the stench. True the camp host could have done a little better job making sure the flush toilets flushed at all times - but I am NOT complaining.
We relaxed, we played Bingo, we made smores - Life was good; until...

I heard my cell phone ringing at about 315am on Monday morning. It was all the way across the tent, and by the time I realized what it was - it stopped. But then, an hour later it rang again "Zip a dee doo dah", Zip a dee ay" I heard; and realized it was the alarm. I got up to turn it off, and I heard something outside our tent. I was FROZEN with fear. I said "Luis, honey, there's someone outside our tent; going through our stuff." And then what I heard, astonished me, It was a loud voice, and it said "Go!" And then it said "Hey, that's ours, leave it alone!" And it took me a second to realize that those sentences had been uttered by my husband. I was shocked. Not because he said them; but because he said them in a deep, white guy voice. White guy? What happened to my "Ricky Ricardo?" I had never heard him sound like this before. I also never saw him get up so quickly before. Usually it takes an act of Congress to wake this man up. Anyway, he started looking outside the windows of our tent. I was SCARED; truly SCARED and then he said...
"It's a skunk. A BIG skunk." Whew- was I relieved. Partly because it wasn't a person rifling through our stuff; and partly because there WAS something out there; so I didn't look like a complete, raving, lunatic.

Just as I never would have thought that I would EVER put my feet into an ensemble such as the one pictured above; I never thought that I would like camping. BUT I have to say it - I LOVE IT!! I LOVE the quiet. I Love the fresh air. I LOVE being with my family; uninterrupted by the TV, or errands and I love getting back to basics with my family and friends - cooking on the fire, and playing games, making smores (Yes, I know that's the second time I've mentioned them- the smores that is - notice no weight loss reported in this blog - hahaha) For me it was heaven. I would have stayed longer if we could have. I know that this confession is a shocker to my Oldies but Goodies; and by Oldies but Goodies I mean my friends; but hey, the times they are a changing and I'm changing with them.
I wish my wonderful, Hot Pink Croc wearing, husband the happiest 38th birthday EVER
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING


6 comments:

Mrs. (...) K said...

ok you just made me want to go camping again!! You're killing me!!! The Grinch Feet finally got their name up in Lights. They must be glowing with pleasure.

tealeblue said...

Here's a Happy Birthday to "The Big Guy". 1.For making my sock/thong wearing friend the happiest wife/mother everyday. 2. For having the same shoe size so in case of emergencies, it doesn't matter whose shoes you scare the local skunks with. & 3. For occasionally yelling like a "white" guy, it kinda was a turn on, at 3:30am.lol. Thanks, Luis. Your the best "Big Guy" I know. Happy happy birthday. Have a smores on me. Love you both.

LORI said...

OH MY, PAIGE, OH MY! LOVE THE STORY, LOVE THE SHOES, LOVE IT ALL! VERY FUNNY SHARE, THANK YOU! AND A BIG FAT HAPPY BIRTHDAY WITH EXTRA FROSTING FOR EL HOMBRE DE CUMPLEANOS! BET YOU DIDN'T KNOW I COULD DO THAT, DID YA?!

Rachel said...

The times they are-a-changin' indeed! One day I will take and share a photo of what I look like when walking Bart for 'last walk'. We call that look the 'mental patient'. I am REALLY happy not to be 20 anymore...you go get 'em, sock and sandal wearin' Queen! And Happy Bday Luis...the Queen robbed the cradle and never looked back!

nancy said...

HEY! NOBODY should be held accountable for what they wear/do on a camping trip! It happens in a parallel universe and has no effect on the real world!

...at least it better not, or Dan and I are in trouble...

bjay said...

funny, funny story, paige! wahaha.

wish I counld go camping too!