(43-4) Positivity

I've had the pleasure of knowing my wonderful friend Russell B since my Junior year of high school and he has ALWAYS been a very special and important person to me.  Russell was close with my mom and SHE was a big fan of his.  Russell was / is very well-mannered and kind hearted and during all of my difficult times he was a very devoted friend.


Since Russell and I had this consolatory connection and my Mom had thought SO highly of him; I asked him to honor her by walking me down the aisle at my wedding and he happily agreed. Luis followed suit by asking Russell if he would stand beside him as his Best Man after bringing me to the alter; and again he consented.


Having Russell as such an integral part of our wedding was the quintessence of our day and I hope that through the years, Luis and I have amply expressed  how very much his presence and participation meant to both of us.

Yesterday I got an email from Russell, and before I go on let me affirm that I have his complete permission to share our correspondence with you.

In response to my "43-2" post, Russell wrote:
Very nice - I know this is a tough b'day for you - really did not want to make note of it on FB with the well wishes - keep it positive....but I can only imagine what you are going through.
So to turn this around - lets reflect on the good times and the well wishes that come from all over - and remember your folks with smiles and happiness.
Enjoy in the love of your husband, children and friends.
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To which I replied:
Thanks Russell! I am FINE! And I am totally taking a positive attitude about this year; which is why I'm doing the daily blog - God help me.

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And Russell wrote:
You never cease to amaze me.
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And I then asked WHY???
To which Russell answered:
You are always just sooooo positive about everything no matter what - yes I know you have your moments - but you stay so positive.

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To which I responded:
That's sweet of you to say. And all I can say is that it feels better to be positive than negative. I know that my life has been unusual in so many ways but I also know that I have so much more left to do and I just feel like this is the year. My kids are still very young; Luis and I are still very much in love and I think I can do more good here than with God right now - so he doesn't need me yet! I'm digging my heels in and I'm not giving it a thought AT ALL; REALLY!

I am THANKFUL for all that I have and CERTAINLY for your friendship!
xoxoxo
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And then, given Russell's respect for my privacy; I did the unthinkable and asked if I could publish our emails.  I told him that no one was safe anymore;  and I have to laugh, I mean here he was trying to keep our PERSONAL conversation off of the very PUBLC facebook and then I asked if I could broadcast it to the world through my blog.  However, knowing me as well as Russell does, I'm sure he just chuckled and then agreed.  But here's the thing;  I think that I asked because I don't believe that I could have written the words that I had so easily written to him any better for "The Bumpy Ride."   The truth of the matter is that I am just going about my life as if it's business as usual.  I refuse to consider the what ifs or give negative ideas a moment of my time. I'm just trying to live my life with positivity and gratitude.  Each day surely is a gift and it is up to each of us to choose our happiness.  I CHOOSE to be thankful for what I have rather than sad for what I have not.  My blessings are many and my friendships are abundant.  I have exceptional children, a marriage beyond compare and dream that I am following.  I hope that you will all do the same.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

Lucky Me!

We have a little tradition in our home, that we call "making a nest." Making a nest is when you pile a lot of blankets and pillows on the floor and you get comfortable. So on Tuesday night, the girls and I decided to make a nest and watch "American Idol." We were really enjoying ourselves. We were watching the show, snuggling, joking around, and laughing A LOT; and while we were doing so, I kept thinking to myself "I am SO lucky!" I was thankful for the time that we had to relax together and marvelled at the fact that the girls had gotten to an age where we could truly appreciate each other's company. I had put my arm around Kelsie and all of a sudden I felt something sharp on my finger. I pulled my hand away, looked down and saw that my diamond was no longer in my engagement ring. To say that I was SHOCKED would be an understatement, and I don't know how I managed it, but I did NOT cry. I tried to remain calm and I called Nicky into the room and I told all of the kids that my diamond wasn't in my ring and that we needed to look for it. We immediately pulled up all of the blankets and pillows to look on the floor. I rationalized to myself that if the ring felt this sharp, the diamond couldn't have been missing for that long, or I would have noticed it before. The bad news was, I had been all over the place that day, so if the diamond wasn't underneath the blankets, IT COULD HAVE BEEN ANYWHERE.

The diamond was NOT under the nest, and I still manged to remain calm; even with the knowledge that my ring was not currently insured. The kids continued to look around the family room, and don't ask me why; but I went out to my car and prayed along the way. I opened the minivan door and turned on the light, and there on the floor mat, I found my diamond. I couldn't believe it! I was overwhelmed by how blessed I felt to find my diamond as it was nothing short of a miracle. I went inside and told the kids that I had found my diamond (in record time I might add. It could not have been more than 5 minutes.) I told the kids that we needed to thank God, and we all made our own silent prayer; except for Kelsie who wanted to say hers out loud. She thanked God for her family and for helping her mommy to find her diamond, and we all said AMEN!

Once I caught my breath, I did the next natural thing... I posted my status on Facebook. I wrote "just may be the luckiest woman in the world." And of course my friends wanted to know why. I responded by saying that "Besides for my family and my AMAZING friends; here's the basis for this post. Last night I realized that the diamond from my engagement ring had fallen out; (and no the ring was not insured.) Anyway, miraculously I remained calm, I didn't cry, and I actually FOUND the diamond. Is that LUCKY or what?" I knew that when I posted my status, people would inquire as to why I was lucky and then I would explain. Of course first and foremost I had to mention my family and friends because without them in my life, I would be nothing; but the incredible LUCK to find the diamond, now that was EXTRAORDINARY. My friend Dawn was kind enough to make a comment that suggested that I found the diamond because of all of the good karma that I put out into the world; and I would LOVE to believe that she is right.

My diamond is a beautiful 3/4 carat princess cut; that Luis and I bought after selling my mother's stunning, round diamond that I inherited. Selling her diamond felt like the right thing to do at the time, because I preferred the princess cut to the round and to be frank, my mom's stone was very large and working as social worker, I didn't feel comfortable showing up to my clients homes in the projects of Brooklyn, Queens and the Bronx, sporting this humongous rock. Upon reflection, Luis and I probably would have been smarter to use the money from the diamond as a nest egg; because the ring was not / is not the definition of our love or commitment to each other; but nonetheless, we bought the ring and I have worn it proudly and happily for almost 16 years. As times have been tough for us financially I have often thought about selling my ring and though I have yet to make that decision, once I saw that my diamond was gone, I felt crippled. I wasn't upset that the diamond was missing because it was a symbol of our marriage, or our love or because it was MY DIAMOND RING. I was upset because I felt like my choice was gone. It was MY CHOICE to make, to have my diamond or not; and now my safety net was pulled out from under me. In the big scheme of things I find the ring so unimportant, that I could easily sacrifice it; if it meant that things would be easier for my family ~ but that's MY decision to make; and I'm so relieved that I have found the diamond and will again HAVE the opportunity to make that decision. Oh,the power of CHOICE is not anything that should be taken for granted and is something that we ALL need to be extremely aware of and grateful for.

If you would have asked me years ago, I would have told you that I was NOT the Queen of LUCK. I had never won a lottery, a big prize or even Bingo and given my life experiences prior to meeting Luis; I would have to say that I didn't consider myself a LUCKY person at all; but after this incident, I honestly believe that there is no one luckier than me!!

On this Valentines day, I hope that you all know how lucky you are to be loved by your family, and friends; whether you have a significant other, or not. Love is a blessing, and if Dawn is right; then perhaps WE MAKE our own luck; if we actually reap what we sow. I often write about the greater good and do all I can to facilitate it; and maybe just maybe, getting my diamond back will help me bring about the greater good for my family; in whichever way I CHOOSE.

Till next time...

Queen of EVERYTHING