(43-359) My Story - Part 2

Let me start off by saying that I truly appreciate the heartfelt comments that I've been receiving in response to yesterday's post "My Story - Part 1".  Perhaps most bloggers wouldn't start chapter two of a story that way, but then again; I'm not most bloggers. 

If you read part 1 of my story, then I probably don't need to warn you that this is not a happy tale.  In fact, today's recollection is much more difficult for me to tell -  but I'm going to do it no matter how uncomfortable it is; because I want to leave a written record of what my life was like and how I got to be who I am now...

I did not speak to my mother at my father's funeral.  I didn't know what to say, and at the time I still believed all of the horrible lies that my father had told me about her.  My father's girlfriend made arrangements for my boyfriend and I to spend a week with a friend of mine who lived in Maryland; and upon my return she told me that I had to meet with my mom because I was going to have to go back to live with her.  There were a lot of hurt feelings on both ends I know, but my mother welcomed me back with open arms; and slowly but surely I reciprocated.

We had my Sweet 16 as planned, and a few days later I was admitted to the hospital for Arthroscopic knee surgery; which also had been scheduled before my father had passed away.  School was set to start a few weeks after that, and I didn't want to go to the high school that was by my mom's house since I had been teased terribly throughout Jr, high.  Because my mom understood how important it was to me to remain at Tappan Zee,  she made arrangements with my Principal so that I could use a friend's address and continue going to school there.  As a result of my knee surgery, I had an enormous cast on my left leg, from my ankle to my thigh and  since TZ was a good twenty minutes from my house, my mom went out of her way to drive me to school every morning and she paid someone to drive me home.

I got on with my life, adjusting to not having a father and getting reacquainted with my mother.  Then one day I was called to the Principal's office.  I was informed that I had enough credits to graduate that spring; but since I was only sixteen and had just gone through a truly, traumatic experience, I didn't feel ready to leave my new home.  I opted to stay with my mom, who had been in remission from her Cancer and took classes for college credit during my senior year.  My house became the party house, and all of my friends loved spending time with my mom. She was different.  She was honest with us, and she was fun, and funny and I had far too little time with her.

After being weight listed for my school of choice, my mom and I took a last minute trip to visit two of the Long Island University campuses.  Ultimately she and I agreed that Southampton was the right place for me; but imagine my surprise when on the first day of school, every other person I met was a marine biology major and I was there for Pre-law.  I thought there must have been some mistake.  I mean science was definitely not my forte and pardon the pun, but I felt like a real fish outta water.  I came to be assured that there were other majors at LIU-Southampton; it was just that most people did go there for Marine bio.  Most people, like my suite mate Michele Q.

During our getting to know you exercises Michele Q and I discovered that we had the same birthday.  And at the time, other than our birthdays and our residence, I thought that was all that we had in common.  It wasn't that I didn't like Michele Q; in retrospect, maybe I was just jealous.  She was vivacious, and confident and she walked around singing (beautifully) at the top of her lungs, and maybe just maybe I felt a little threatened by her. 

My mom came out for parents weekend, and she looked great.  I suppose that's why it was such a surprise that she ended up back in the hospital by Halloween.  Her cancer had come back, and I needed to get home to see her.  I was scared and I didn't want to go alone and when I asked if any of my suite mates would go home with me, Michele Q was the only one to say she would.  Michele enlisted our other suite mate Monique to come with us and they managed to turn a very frightening experience into a life changing event.  Michele came home with me every weekend to go see my mom in the hospital.  She had become my best friend; my sister. 

We almost lost my mom at Christmas time, but she managed to hold on.  I returned to school after the New year, but a week into my second semester, my Uncle called to say that my mom was being released from the hospital as there was nothing more that they could do for her, and I needed to withdraw from school, come home and take care of her.

When I got back to my mom's house, I found her in a hospital bed in our living room.  My grandparents had said that they would stay to help and there would be home health aides coming daily as well.  I enrolled at Rockland Community College, and I got a job at a bakery because I couldn't stand to be at home watching my mother deteriorate.  I would get up in the middle of the night when she called me for help, but I did so begrudgingly and that is a cross that I will always have to bare.  I won't make excuses for myself, but I do realize that I was 18 and for the second time in three years I was going to lose a parent.  I was watching my mother be slowly tortured and it was killing me; so no, I wasn't in good spirits when I tried to assist her and I will forever regret that.

While the Cancer took over my mom's body and she had no idea who I was; I had reapplied to the American University School of Justice in Washington D.C and got in.  But knowing that it wouldn't be long before we were going to lose my mom, I decided that I should stay closer to home for my brother's sake and I made plans to return to LIU in the fall.    Feeling like I was going to need to focus on more than just academics, I had applied to become a Freshman Student Assistant and after an extensive interview process I was selected for a position.  FSA training was scheduled for a week before school started, but knowing that my mom's end was near, I couldn't bring myself to leave.  I called Michelle Q, who had just arrived home after spending the  summer in Suriname.  And as soon as I told her how dire things had become with my mom, she literally dropped off her suitcases and got on a bus to come up to see me.

In the only moment of lucidity that my mom had experienced in weeks, she told Michele that she needed to pack me up and take me back to school.  I didn't want to go because I knew that I would never see my mom again, but Michele insisted as it was my mother's dying wish. 

I don't remember saying goodbye to my mother, as the person that I left in that hospital bed was a mere skeleton and not the exquisite, exuberant mom that I had grown to know and love.  I think that I must have cried almost all the way to school, but Michele reassured me that she would be there for me; and she was.

A few days after classes had started, I got the call that I knew was inevitable.  On September 11, 1986 my mom had lost her long, battle with Cancer and at the age of 19, I was parentless.  Michele and some other school friends took me home for the funeral and I attempted once again, to get on with my life.

My Uncle had moved in with my brother, as he was 17 and still needed to finish high school.  I tired to go home for Christmas, but I felt so uncomfortable there, that I never went back.  My Provost knew about my situation and as I wasn't eligible for work study, he created jobs for me so that I could live on campus during winter and summer breaks.

I worked as an FSA, I was Student Government Secretary for a year and a half, and President my senior year.  I changed my major to Sociology because I decided that I didn't want to be a lawyer and I didn't want to lose all of the college credits that I came in with from high school and I decided not to attend my graduation because even though Michele  and my dad's old girlfriend would have been there for me; I thought that it would just hurt too much.

After I lost my father, I thought to myself  that losing someone so unexpectedly must be so much more awful than knowing that someone was going to pass away.  But after watching my mom suffer the way she did, I can honestly say that in my opinion,  knowing is by far worse.   

I know that this story is an unusual one, and I readily admit that these experiences have left me with profound scars.  But each day I try to be the best person that I can be and I endeavor to be a person that my mom would be proud of.  I don't hold a grudge against Richie Howell, I just don't have any fond memories or good thoughts about him. Yet despite him and the course that he set in motion for my life,  I am happy.  I know that although I lost a lot at an early age, I also have so much more than most people, in the way of those who love and care for me.  
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-343) There Are No Words

I don't like feeling helpless.  I'm not comfortable with feeling out of control and it is crucial that I make the ones that I love feel better.  Yet, when sickness and death are involved; we are all helpless.  We are all out of control, and there truly is nothing that any of us can say to make our loved one feel better.  Life is beautiful and yet cruel.  We build relationships with family, friends, pets, co-workers, and yet we are supposed to accept their illness or loss and just go on with our lives...  We all know that's not true.

My father was the first person that I personally knew who passed away and his passing was totally unexpected.  Yes, he'd been sick; but I had no idea that it was as serious as it actually was, and the fact that I'd been estranged from my mom for two years, just made the situation that much more precarious.  Things were complicated and no one really knew what to say to me, and at the age of 15 I just accepted that.

Just three years later when my mom's cancer came back and she started to get sick, I found that friends withdrew from me because they didn't know what to say or how to comfort me since death and such circumstances were something that was unfamiliar to them.  The truth of the matter is that someone who is suffering doesn't need you to have the perfect words, they just need your love and support and empathy and time.  No one can expect that someone else is going to have the magic words to make you feel all better, because those words don't exist. 

There are no words that can stop our loved ones from hurting in such situations, and really, NO ONE expects us to have them.  All that we can tell those who are suffering or nearing a loss is that we love and care for them, and that we are so sorry that they are hurting.  I know that it will make you feel helpless and out of control but there are some things that are just bigger than us.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-279) The FRIENDSHIP Kit

I've written many, many, times about my amazing friend, Rachel K; and tonight in honor of her birthday, I'm going to do so again.  Rachel is an extraordinarily, busy woman.  In addition to her job as a fundraising consultant, Rachel operates the Scrapbooking from the Inside Out kit club and online community, and is currently planning the CRAFT Beach Retreat, which I previously mentioned in a blog of the same name.

When I wrote about the retreat, I told you how honored I was that Rachel had asked me to be a part of her team; and I am equally thrilled to be doing some more work for her on her website.  If you're not familiar with the Scrapbooking from the Inside Out kit club, each kit is based on an emotion, and you may find inspiration for your lay outs through various quotes, images and a song play list that are provided on the website. I am delighted to announce that after offering my assistance to Rachel, she asked me to create the play list for May's brand new kit FRIENDSHIP and it was my pleasure to do it.

As soon as I started thinking about friendship themed songs, I immediately thought of Lucy and Ethel's "Friendship song" from "I Love Lucy."  I suggested it to Rachel, and she thought that it would be fun to share the video; so we did.  In honor of FRIENDSHIP, I'm also going to share this classic clip with you.  If you'd like to hear the play list, or check out the kit club to see what it's all about, please stop by Scrapbooking from the Inside Out.   And just to peak your curiosity further, I'll tell you that "The Friendship kit includes a carefully curated selection of paper from four different manufacturers’ lines – American Crafts’ joyful and feminine Peachy Keen, Basic Grey’s playful Hopscotch, Crate Paper’s homespun Neighborhood and Cosmo Cricket’s colorful Saltair." 

12 Sheets Double Sided Patterned Paper: * American Crafts Peachy Keen Thing of Beauty *American Crafts Peachy Keen Heavens to Betsy * American Crafts Peachy Keen Mother Always Says * American Crafts Peachy Keen Easy as Pie * Basic Grey Hopscotch First Dance * Basic Grey Hopscotch Tire Swing * Basic Grey Hopscotch Monkey Bars * Crate Paper Neighborhood Chores * Crate Paper Neighborhood Friendly * Crate Paper Neighborhood Together * Cosmo Cricket Saltair Coral Bloom * Cosmo Cricket Saltair Seagarden

Embellishments: * AC Thickers Sunset Printed Chipboard - Blush * AC Peachy Keen Bits, Decorative Tags, 4 pcs * AC Peachy Keen Flair - Good Golly, 2 pcs * Basic Grey Hopscotch Chip Sticker Shapes, 1 sheet * Crate Paper Neighborhood Border Stickers, 1/2 sheet * Jillibean Soup Corrugated Shapes, Houses, 5 pcs * Maya Road Zipper Trim, Sky Blue, 2 ft * My Mind's Eye Stella & Rose - Gertie You and Me Title * My Mind's Eye Stella & Rose - Gertie Friends Forever Journal Card * Prima Soft Rose Trim Aqua 14 inches * Sassafras Mini Alphas Yellow Paper
* Websters Whimsies Roses in Bloom - Periwinkle, 3 pcs * Websters Yacht Club Princess Petals Florettes, full package

Technique: * Cosmo Cricket Glubers, 3 pcs, one of each size

Cardstock: * American Crafts Mint * American Crafts Blueberry * American Crafts Charcoal  *American Crafts Parfait

Color: * Ranger Tim Holtz Distress Stain - Spun Sugar

Now if you're not a scrapbooker, I know that the contents of the FRIENDSHIP kit may not be of interest to you, and I thank you for indulging me; but if you scrapbooking is your thang, then you KNOW that the FRIENDSHIP kit is something special.

I'm so happy to take a more active role at Scrapbooking from the Inside Out; and I hope that you will visit me there.  In the name of FRIENDSHIP, I would also like to say that I wish Rachel the happiest of birthdays.  My dear friend has had a year of devastating losses (some of which I've told you about before,) and it is my fervent hope that this year is her best yet.  HAPPY BIRTHDAY Rachel!!  I love you MY FRIEND!
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-258) CRAFT Beach Retreat

Don't let the title fool you.  Even if you're not a crafty guy or girl, this post isn't ALL about the CRAFT Beach Retreat per se.  In a nutshell, it's also about courage, fortitude, vision, entrepreneurship, and friendship.  It's about my AMAZING friend, Rachel K.

I have written about Rachel K numerous times, since "The Bumpy Ride" began; as we've been friends for almost 20 years, she was in the delivery room with Luis and I when I gave birth to my oldest daughter, Lyndzi, (and she is one of Lyndzi's Godmother's.)  Rachel helped me plan and execute my 40th Birthday Scrapbooking Extravaganza Weekend and she invited me to work with her when she developed her business, Scrapbooking From The Inside Out.  It's been my pleasure to watch Rachel fulfill her dream with her Scrapbooking kit club and online community and now she is ready to take her business to a new level, by offering an exclusive experience which she is calling CRAFT Beach Retreat.  

CRAFT is an acronym for Creating Reflective Art For Transformation, and the very first retreat will be held in beautiful, Santa Monica, California on November 11-13, 2011.  I'm so excited that Rachel has asked me to be a part of her Retreat team, and surely I'll have more information to follow. If you're already interested, you can sign up on CRAFT Beach Retreat so that you'll be updated with information as we share it.

I can tell you that this event will be like no other of its kind, because Rachel is one of the most thoughtful and thorough women that I know; and she likes to give people experiences that are nothing short of perfection.  I make these claims as someone who has been blessed to be on the receiving end of Rachel's gracious, generosity countless times; and someone who has been cheerleading her vision since inception.

I am so very proud of Rachel and all that she's accomplished thus far, and I feel privileged to be working with her on CRAFT.  Rachel has taught me many valuable lessons through the course of our friendship, and she was instrumental in my decision to start "The Bumpy Ride."  Rachel is a shining example of what one can accomplish when they dare to pursue their dream; and she inspires me on a daily basis.

I look forward to telling you more about CRAFT in the future and I encourage you to follow Rachel's example and pursue your passion.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-175) With Sympathy...

Everyone has their own personal way of dealing with their grief, loss, depression, stress; etc. We all have our own means of coping. For some, it is best to be surrounded by loved ones, while for others isolation is more soothing. Because people vary so much, it can be difficult to know how to be there for a friend when they're hurting; but I hoped that I knew what my dear friend, Rachel K needed.

A few months ago, Rachel had suffered the loss of her beloved friend; Barry; and then on December 26, she had to say goodbye to her four legged son, Bart. I may not get this exactly right; but I believe that Bart was a 16 1/2 year old, wire haired, Dachshund; and I can honestly say that I have never met anyone who was more devoted to their dog; than Rachel. Rachel adored Bart; and she treated him with the utmost love and respect. During the last month of his life, Rachel cooked special meals for Bart and tried to do everything and anything to restore his health. She even took him to a holistic vet in addition to seeing her traditional vet.

When Rachel called to tell me that they had to put Bart to rest; she was sobbing uncontrollably, and I felt helpless. There are NEVER any words that anyone can say to someone who has experienced such a loss; and so all I could say was "I'm so sorry;" and I was / am. I'm so sorry that she has to hurt; I'm so sorry that she has to be without her friends. I'm so sorry that she won't get to hold them or be comforted by them again, and I'm so sorry that this is unfortunately the way that life is.

I hadn't heard from Rachel since she called to tell me about losing Bart; but because I know that she needs to keep to herself when she's upset; I tried not to crowd her. I left her a message on a weekly basis; just so she would know that I was thinking of her; and I sent her a text as well. I wanted her to know that when she was ready, I'd be here for her; and in the meantime, I'd wait and send my love.

Rachel was very much on my mind today; and perhaps that's why she called me. Rachel told me that she was working on healing, slowly; and we discussed how unfair death was. I told Rachel that I felt terrible for not being able to do more for her; but I knew from personal experience that there was absolutely nothing that I could say. I apologized for not being able to do anything to provide her with some relief, and again told her how sorry I was for her loss. We chatted a bit longer, and discussed how awful death is. I said that hopefully, as time goes on; she'll be able to remember the wonderful times that she'd had with Barry and Bart and those feelings of gratitude  would replace the agonizing pain that she was experiencing now.  I know that right now, that seems impossible; but I speak from experience when I say it can be done. It will always hurt to miss our loved ones; but I do believe that Tennyson is right, "Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all."

Rachel is a woman who treasures her family of friends, and all that are fortunate enough to call her friend; are truly blessed. I am so sorry for Rachel's recent losses; and for anyone who has experienced the loss of a loved one. All I can offer is my love , my words and my sympathy; and hope that in some way, there is comfort in that.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-4) Positivity

I've had the pleasure of knowing my wonderful friend Russell B since my Junior year of high school and he has ALWAYS been a very special and important person to me.  Russell was close with my mom and SHE was a big fan of his.  Russell was / is very well-mannered and kind hearted and during all of my difficult times he was a very devoted friend.


Since Russell and I had this consolatory connection and my Mom had thought SO highly of him; I asked him to honor her by walking me down the aisle at my wedding and he happily agreed. Luis followed suit by asking Russell if he would stand beside him as his Best Man after bringing me to the alter; and again he consented.


Having Russell as such an integral part of our wedding was the quintessence of our day and I hope that through the years, Luis and I have amply expressed  how very much his presence and participation meant to both of us.

Yesterday I got an email from Russell, and before I go on let me affirm that I have his complete permission to share our correspondence with you.

In response to my "43-2" post, Russell wrote:
Very nice - I know this is a tough b'day for you - really did not want to make note of it on FB with the well wishes - keep it positive....but I can only imagine what you are going through.
So to turn this around - lets reflect on the good times and the well wishes that come from all over - and remember your folks with smiles and happiness.
Enjoy in the love of your husband, children and friends.
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To which I replied:
Thanks Russell! I am FINE! And I am totally taking a positive attitude about this year; which is why I'm doing the daily blog - God help me.

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And Russell wrote:
You never cease to amaze me.
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And I then asked WHY???
To which Russell answered:
You are always just sooooo positive about everything no matter what - yes I know you have your moments - but you stay so positive.

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To which I responded:
That's sweet of you to say. And all I can say is that it feels better to be positive than negative. I know that my life has been unusual in so many ways but I also know that I have so much more left to do and I just feel like this is the year. My kids are still very young; Luis and I are still very much in love and I think I can do more good here than with God right now - so he doesn't need me yet! I'm digging my heels in and I'm not giving it a thought AT ALL; REALLY!

I am THANKFUL for all that I have and CERTAINLY for your friendship!
xoxoxo
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And then, given Russell's respect for my privacy; I did the unthinkable and asked if I could publish our emails.  I told him that no one was safe anymore;  and I have to laugh, I mean here he was trying to keep our PERSONAL conversation off of the very PUBLC facebook and then I asked if I could broadcast it to the world through my blog.  However, knowing me as well as Russell does, I'm sure he just chuckled and then agreed.  But here's the thing;  I think that I asked because I don't believe that I could have written the words that I had so easily written to him any better for "The Bumpy Ride."   The truth of the matter is that I am just going about my life as if it's business as usual.  I refuse to consider the what ifs or give negative ideas a moment of my time. I'm just trying to live my life with positivity and gratitude.  Each day surely is a gift and it is up to each of us to choose our happiness.  I CHOOSE to be thankful for what I have rather than sad for what I have not.  My blessings are many and my friendships are abundant.  I have exceptional children, a marriage beyond compare and dream that I am following.  I hope that you will all do the same.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

The Queen's Big Coup

OK, I just can't keep this from you any longer. I've been wondering HOW I was going to tell you because this really is SO HUGE, and it needs to be presented as the ENORMOUS COUP that it is - and I am now ready to share the news, share my joy, my delight, my fantasy, my dream come true. Yes folks, believe it or not, I have met Maks; face to Gorgeous, HUNKY face, and he was AMAZING!!
Now I know that this is just flabbergasting news to some of you. Others are aware of my coup, but have yet to see the picture; and so I present my story and my photographic proof...

You know that forward that we've all gotten many, many times about friends coming into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime? You know it. It explains that sometimes you meet someone for a reason, and sometimes a friend comes into your life but only for a season while other friends are friends you'll have for life. Well, I've always liked that forward and this story is a perfect example of it...

It seems that my friend Jackie was a friend for a season; but also for a reason. I've previously mentioned that Jackie used to work in casting at NBC. Well, although she isn't in the business anymore, she is still a voting member of the TV academy and as such she receives invitations to special events which publicize shows for your Emmy consideration. Usually most of the cast of whichever show it is, appears at the function and they do a behind the scenes look, Q&A etc. etc.
Well, Jackie called me late one night and said "I have the perfect birthday present for you, but we have to act fast." I was half asleep when I heard her say "How would you like to meet Maks?" "WHAT" I shrieked nervously. To which she went on to explain that there was going to be a special "for your Emmy consideration" night for Dancing with the Stars, including a reception and dancing display; and as an early 40th birthday present, she wanted to take me to L.A. to go meet Maks.
OH MY GOD - I mean how often does this happen? My fantasy come true and wrapped up in an extraordinarily generous gift. How could I refuse?

We planned our trip and Jackie kept talking about taking my picture with Maks. I told her that I absolutely did not want to take my picture with him; and in fact I didn't want to get anywhere near him because I was just too afraid and nervous. I was like Duckie from "Pretty in Pink." I just wanted to be able to stand there and admire him. For me it was just like Guy Collura all over again. (There you go V - you knew it would be blogged about one day.) You see from the very first day of 9th grade until the day that I graduated from high school (if not longer,) I had a crippling crush on this guy, named Guy Collura. Now when I say "crippling," the crush was SO bad that when I would see him in the hallway - I couldn't even say hello. It wasn't that I was shy. I mean to some extent I was; but that didn't stop me from having my share of boyfriends, and then some. But there was just something about him that was overwhelming to me; I just liked him THAT MUCH, and I felt the exact same way about meeting Maks. I just wanted to admire him from a far. No picture, no introduction, just be in the room with him and watch him from a far.

The event began with the reception; but unfortunately they tried to fit 700 people in an area that was way to small for 700 people. I am NOT Queen of Dimensions, or Square Footage or anything like that; so I can't be exact. Let's just say that it was VERY crowded. 700 people just trying to shove past each other. Lots of old people, old people with bad face lifts and plates of Sushi, trying to squeeze through the crowds just to get a glimpse of someone from the show.

We were on the lookout for Maks and trying to stay out of harms way, when Jackie met the Oompa Loompa. That's right, "THE" Oompa Loompa. That one guy that played all of the Oompa Loompas in the terrible re-make of Willy Wonka. Then I saw Brian and Shandi; and whether you watched the show or not, you probably don't know or care who they are. I really couldn't have cared less about seeing them, and I was so close to Brian that he could have fathered my next child; yet I had nothing to say to them and didn't even desire a picture.
So let's move on. Things started to get interesting when I saw Stacy Keebler - the professional wrestler that was on 3 seasons ago. We met her and took a picture. (She was VERY nice.) Then we saw Edyta; one of my favorite professional dancers. We took a picture with her too. She was very genuine and VERY beautiful. While we were talking to Edyta, I turned my head; and THERE HE WAS. I could hardly keep my composure as I saw Maks across the room. I tried to speak, but I was so overwhelmed I could barely utter the words to tell Jackie that I had seen him; but somehow I managed to gleefully eek out "Jackie - Maks!!" and I pointed. All of a sudden I could feel my entire body blushing; but we wasted no time as we made a bee line right for him. All at once, it was as if the Red Sea had parted. I don't know where those 700 people went but suddenly we had a clear path to get right to him; just as if it was divine intervention or something. We walked right up to him and Jackie introduced herself - then introduced me. Jackie said "...I think she may be your biggest fan." Maks looked at me and said with the sexiest smile ever; "I think you're right. I think she is;" and then we took this incredible picture together. (All the while I was shaking like a leaf.)
After looking at the picture a couple of hundred times and upon reflecting - I actually think that Maks was referring to my size being big and not my adoration; so I was kind of upset with him for awhile - which is partly why I delayed in posting this blog. Yet even if he WAS so shallow and WAS making a fat reference; there's NO denying what an incredible picture he took with me.
I will forever be grateful to Jackie for giving me this once in a lifetime dream come true; and for the friendship that we shared for the season.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

What a Difference a Day Makes

On Saturday my kids and I were going over to Michelle K's to color Easter eggs; (good Jew that I am,) and my husband was going to join us after work for pizza and poker; (just the adults for poker, in case you were wondering.) I had invited my friend Jackie (here on out to be know as VaJJ) "why are all of my friends being nicknamed after the vagina? kinda weird - but I digress;" and while we were driving in her "fast car" as my kids call it, VaJJ, who unfortunately is not in the best of health, started showing me the pharmacy that she had in her purse. She pulled out the sealed syringe of one med, and then a bag of Vicodin which she said was for "if she got cramps." If she got cramps; let me tell you, there was enough Vicodin in this bag for "if" the entire female population of Arizona got cramps. LOL But seeing the Vicodin in the bag reminded me of a story, which I told to VaJJ and will now share with you.

About a year ago I was at Tiffany's house and I started experiencing some pain in my mouth. Now I do have a very high tolerance for pain (delivered 3 kids, no drugs;) but mouth pain stresses me out and I cannot handle it because of my "dentalphobia." That's right, mouth pain signifies a trip to the dentist to me and that just scares the bejeebus out of me. I had asked Tiffany for some Ibuprofen which she gladly gave me; AND she told me that she had Vicodin if I wanted to take a couple with me in case the pain got worse. See what did I tell you; Tiffany is always trying to help. =0)
I took the Vicodin with me, but I didn't find the need to take it and thankfully the pain dissipated.

A few weeks later I went over to Kara's house at lunchtime because Kara was on very, very, restricted bed rest with her third pregnancy and I wanted to bring lunch over and have a visit with her.
Another friend needed a favor so she had dropped her daughter off at Kara's for the sitter to watch. The sitter left and I gave Kara's son, my 2 daughters, and the friend's daughter, lunch. When they were all settled I brought lunch and drinks upstairs for Kara and I but I had forgotten to take my apple cider vinegar pill (I was trying yet again to lose weight,) so I went downstairs, took my pill and then joined Kara upstairs. I wanted to chat with Kara but I didn't want to tell her that I had been going through a really bad depression and was feeling lousy. We had a short visit and then I left to pick up my son from school.

About an hour later I was driving to work and I remember thinking to myself "boy, what a difference a day makes; I feel really good today;" and with that I happily went in to work.
A few hours later I was going to eat dinner and I reached into my purse to get out the baggie with my apple cider vinegar pill and much to my surprise there were 2 apple cider vinegar pills in the baggie, when there should have only been 1 since I took one at lunch. Well, I'm sure you guessed it by now; the pill I took at lunch was not apple cider vinegar; but Vicodin. No wonder my day seemed so much better. The Queen of INCIDENTS strikes again. (Now really, say it with me "who could make this stuff up?"
Maybe someone should alert the company that makes Vicodin; not that they need any help I'm sure, but if for some reason they are ever in need of a slogan I recommend that they say "Vicodin - what a difference a pill makes."
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

Big V

Disclaimer: This blog is not yet rated.

OK it's time... I've mentioned her a few times now; so I think it's only fair to explain how Ruthie(yah, I know - Ruth) has come to be known as Big V.
Ruthie and I became friends in 1983; after she asked my brother to the homecoming dance. LOL To quote Julia Roberts from "Pretty Woman," "Big mistake - HUGE;" haha only kidding Randy. Anyway, Ruthie has been my partner in crime and one of my closest friends. Ruthie was VERY close to my mom, which is enough to endear her to me forever; she has also seen me at my very best and my very worst- she's even lived with my, god help her.
When I talk, email or see Ruthie, we have a level of communication and understanding which is mostly based on 80's b-rate movies. We feel the need to quote lines to each other from "About Last Night," and "The Jerk," When we're talking, we find it necessary to make our voices sound like Navin R. Johnson; even if we're not talking about "the Jerk." OK - so we're troubled, but we're troubled together and that's the best part.

Now, back in the day (the day pretty much being when I was growing up;) there was a clothing store called Joyce Leslie. Classy name huh? You can tell what kind of clothes they sold, right? Well, it was like your everyday, regular clothes, trendy and not too pricey. As I got older, in the 80's it was always a good place to go for a going out outfit - so you get the picture.

In 1998, Ruthie told my husband and I that my brother had once told her that when he was a young boy, he used to love to go to Joyce Leslie with my mother because they had an open dressing room (no stalls, just a big room;) and he used to love to see the big vaginas. LOL OMG to write this I am realizing just how warped this is gonna sound...
Anyway, for some reason after hearing this story, we felt compelled to refer to Ruthie as "Big V," and it has been that way ever since. Big V is my son's godmother, so naturally he and my daughters refer to her as "Auntie V;" they have no idea what her real name is or that it is anything other than V. Oh I just can't wait for the day that I get to explain that one.
My brother goes by the name Randy; although that is not his given name, and my kids refer to him as Uncle Randy, so I am just waiting for the day that my kids find out, that Uncle Randy's name isn't really Uncle Randy, and Auntie V's name isn't really Auntie V. You think they'll still believe there's a Santa? Or you know what will come next; "Are you really my mom?"

I'm hoping that my entertainment doesn't scar them for life, because it is absolutely hysterical to me every time I hear them say "Auntie V." She is their Auntie V and they just think the world of her. They love her whether she's a big vagina or not.
Till next time...
Queen of Everything