(43-340) 17 Years

17 years ago today, I married the man of my dreams.   After a very brief courtship, (which I told you about in "My Real Life Love Story"), Luis came to New York on a fiance visa.  This type of visa stipulated that we get married within 90 days of Luis' arrival in the U.S. or he would have to relinquish the visa and return to Mexico. 

Even though we hadn't known each other long, Luis and I knew that we were going to be married before he ever even arrived in the states.  We discussed what type of wedding to have, as none of his family would be able to attend (since they didn't have visas),  90 days wasn't enough time to plan a wedding in New York,  and we didn't want to get married at city hall because we only wanted to get married once, and in a way that would be as special as our relationship.  While looking through a bridal magazine, I saw an ad for Disney Fairytale weddings and I told Luis about it.  We thought that having a Disney wedding would be perfect for us because it would allow us to have everything that WE wanted in a wedding.  AND I was able to plan everything over the phone and fax.

As there were going to be less than ten people at our wedding (including us), we were able to arrange our wedding in an a la carte manner.  We chose to have our ceremony in a gazebo, in the rose garden at the Disney Yacht and Beach Club.  We wanted to be able to have a first dance (to "I Swear" by All 4 One), have a champagne toast (with Pink Fairytale wedding champagne) and have a wedding cake (German Chocolate.)  And with the help of our Disney wedding planner ALL of this was possible.  We wanted to take our guests (bridesmaids) Stacy F and Michele Q, (Best man) Russell, his wife Randee and Michele's (now husband) Tony, out to dinner and the photographer recommended that we go to the character buffet at The Grand Floridian, because it was an ideal place for photographs and he reasoned that if you were going to get married at Disney World, you might as well have Mickey and Minnie in your wedding pictures.  He was right, our pictures were spectacular and the food was excellent.

One of the benefits of getting married at Disney was how natural it was to walk around in a wedding gown and tux.  We were treated like royalty, and at one point a mom came up to us with her son (who couldn't have been more than 7) and she said "He likes you both very much."  I think that he thought that we were a prince and princess; and for that night, we sure were.

After dinner we all went to Pleasure Island (Disney's nighttime entertainment complex) and again we were treated like celebrities.  Our wedding party never had to wait in line, and we were congratulated and wished well by more people than we ever could have imagined.  It was the most magical night of our lives; and everything that we could have hoped for.

The day after our wedding, Michele, Tony and Stacy, joined us at The magic Kingdom.  It was the first time that Luis had been to Disney World  and the experience was priceless.  Luis had told me that he'd seen commercials for Disney World when he was a kid and he'd asked his dad if they could go, and his dad said "probably not."  So to have actually been married there, was VERY special for him too.  We said goodbye to our friends at the end of the evening and spent the rest of our honeymoon alone.  Two weeks after we returned to New York, we hosted a brunch at a Mexican restaurant so that the rest of our friends could celebrate our marriage with us.  We played our video, shared our pictures, I threw the bouquet and we had cannoli cake.  It was a wonderful way of incorporating our other friends into our jubilation.

17 years ago and it seems like just yesterday to me.  I guess it really is true that time flies when you're having fun! 
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-66) He's Still The ONE!

Since Luis and I had such a short courtship before getting married; we wanted to make sure that we had a solid marriage before we started having children. When we got pregnant with Nicky, we had planned to have Luis' youngest sister, Erica come to live with us to help take care of Nicky while we worked; but the U.S. government advised me that I couldn't bring her over to be our nanny, as there were enough qualified, Americans who could do the job. Instead of looking for alternate childcare, Luis and I chose to work opposite schedules so that WE could care for Nicky, and subsequently Lyndzi and Kelsie as well.

For 8 years, Luis and I worked opposite shifts. Monday through Wednesday, I'd met him at my office at 315; then he'd take the kids home and I worked till 830pm or so. On Thursday and Friday when Luis was off, I'd work 12 hours per day to make up for my shorter days; and then Luis would work on Saturday and Sunday. This schedule didn't afford us much time together; and the only way we could have a full day off together was if one (or both) of us, took a vacation or sick day.

In the summer of 2007, in preparation for having 2 school aged children,  I requested to work from home; and my employers agreed.  The schedule was to remain the same in as much as on Luis' day's off I was expected to go into my office; but in the fall of 2007 when Luis got very ill; my employers were amazingly, cooperative and allowed me to remain at home all week, as Luis couldn't be left alone. As Luis recovered, it became evident that it really wasn't necessary for me to go into the office on both Thursday AND Friday; and my boss agreed that I could come in on Friday only. With this new schedule in place, Luis was able to change his schedule to have Friday's and Saturday's off; which then gave our family an entire day together; which was delightful.

In October of 2009 my employer informed me (and several others;) that we were going to need to cut back our hours from 40 to 32 per week; and since this was a hardship; they allowed us to choose which day we wanted to take off without pay; and I chose Friday.

As much as it's been a challenge to make do without the additional pay, I have to say that I think the time is has afforded Luis and I to spend alone together, has been priceless. On Friday mornings I get the kids off to school and then we have 7 hours to enjoy each other's company; to be a couple, and to focus on each other.

Earlier this week I was looking for the documents that I wrote about misinterpreting in "So HAPPY To Be Wrong;" and I came across all kinds of old pictures. Some of me, when I was just a couple of years old; and some early pictures of Luis and I; like the one pictured above. When I first looked at the pictures, I was struck by how young Luis had looked when we'd met; and although I thought that he was HOT STUFF then; I can honestly say that my man has aged well!  Even though I'm not a wine drinker; I do know that fine, wine improves with age and I can say that Luis has too.  Luis has become more handsome with each passing year and he never ceases to amaze me.

I sat across the table from Luis today, feeling so fortunate that HE is my husband; because not only is he smart and compassionate and funny; but I still find him unbelievably attractive. Despite the pounds that we've both put on, regardless of the grey hair and age lines; we still seem to be more in love and in tune with each other, than ever.

Luis and I had fallen in love at first sight; and sixteen years later; we're still smitten. There is no other that I would choose to share my life with, my strife with, my love with. We come from such extremely different places and upbringings that we compliment each other nicely and yet in the most important ways, we are very much alike. We have three extraordinary, children who seem to be the very best of what we are; and I relish the time that we get to spend alone to reminisce and plan and revel.

It's just like I wrote in "My Something Special;" "Luis and I have a love that's beyond compare." That's not to say that it's perfect;  because nothing is - but I can proudly say that he's still the ONE; and I wouldn't want it any other way.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-32) Vegas

I really do LOVE Las Vegas; it's a veritable feast for the eyes.  From the magnificent hotels, to the bright, neon lights, to the people from all walks of life; it is spectacle to behold and such a FANTASTIC time.  And speaking of time, it's amazing how time seems to pass SO quickly while you're there.  Before we knew it the clock read 2am, but the hotels and the streets were as lively as if it was 7pm.  We hated to go to sleep, but we really were tired; so at 3 we decided to call it a night.
Although I knew that I would have an awesome time, having Luis to myself and visiting with our friends; I'll say it again, the trip exceeded my expectations.  Luis an I reconnected.  We laughed, and joked, and danced and sang.  And I feel so blessed that after 16 years, we STILL enjoy our time together as much as ever.  We never run out of things to talk about; in fact we talked about some things today that we've never discussed before and the time we shared was priceless.

Even though I missed my kids, it wasn't agonizing.  I was looking forward to seeing them; but I knew that they were in great hands; so, I would have to say that there is definitely something to be said for having some time alone with the one you love; no matter where you are.

Such a fun trip, deserves it's own soundtrack; and so I'm going to share some of the songs that will forever remind me of this trip. 
"I Like It" - Enrique Iglesias & Pitbull
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9_n8jakvWU
"Club Can't Handle Me" - Flo Rida & David Guetta
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SgM3r8xKfGE
"Everlasting Love" - Carl Carlton
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uozA4PQwYl0
"Right Round" - Flo Rida
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFrjp4IPXSY

"I Like it" just so happens to be both mine and Luis' new fave song, and Luis put it on the CD that he's made for our trip.  I've always loved "Everlasting Love" and it made it onto this list because our cocktail waiter who doubled as a singer butchered this song while we were playing video poker, and although it was a bad rendition; it was memorable.  Yes, I know 2 Flo Rida songs; "Club Can't Handle Me" is another song from Luis' Vegas road trip CD; and "Right Round" reminds us of "The Hangover;" and since we were going to Vegas we reminisced quite about about this movie.  On our way there I even asked Luis if he wanted to steal a cop car and Mike Tyson's tiger and he said he was TOTALLY up for it.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-12) My Something Special

Since both of my parents passed away by the time I was 19 years old; I always had the feeling that something very special was going to happen to me - something uncommon; something that others wouldn't experience.  It's not that I had a chip on my shoulder or that I thought that I was owed anything; it was just a notion that I believed wholeheartedly and took great comfort in.  At times I would wonder what that something special would be.  Maybe I'd be the first woman President, or achieve an uncommon goal; but once I fell in love with Luis, I KNEW!  I knew that Luis was MY SOMETHING SPECIAL and that we were going to have a love that was beyond compare and 16 years later, I still believe that I was right!!  I know that I have yet to share the story of how I met Luis; and I've previously explained that I was holding off on doing so because I didn't want Lifetime Television to snatch up my story without it being copy written; but I've now decided to submit the story to the "Glamour Magazine" essay contest; so God willing, you'll be reading it in Glamour at a later date.
Now Luis and I have our tiffs, spats and blow outs like most couples do and why wouldn't we; after all, I am the Queen of OVERTHINKING, The Queen of SENSITIVITY and OK I'll say it, The Queen of ARGUING; so of course I'm going to challenge the Prince of PATIENCE from time to time.  Nonetheless, despite our disagreements, I am still very much in love with my husband and I have to say that this weekend I fell in love with him ALL OVER AGAIN.
Sometimes there are defining moments in a couples relationship and we experienced one this weekend.  Luis was strong for me when I couldn't be; and he allowed himself to be put in an uncomfortable position in order to spare me and the kids from a painful situation.  Once again I can't go into details of the how and why; but suffice it to say that his generosity, his selflessness, and his protection moved me to tears.
Luis is our rock. He has the voice of reason and the strength of Hercules. Yesterday I truly was a damsel in distress and he was my Knight; my HERO.  The kids and I are so BLESSED to have Luis because what we have IS something VERY special indeed.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-4) Positivity

I've had the pleasure of knowing my wonderful friend Russell B since my Junior year of high school and he has ALWAYS been a very special and important person to me.  Russell was close with my mom and SHE was a big fan of his.  Russell was / is very well-mannered and kind hearted and during all of my difficult times he was a very devoted friend.


Since Russell and I had this consolatory connection and my Mom had thought SO highly of him; I asked him to honor her by walking me down the aisle at my wedding and he happily agreed. Luis followed suit by asking Russell if he would stand beside him as his Best Man after bringing me to the alter; and again he consented.


Having Russell as such an integral part of our wedding was the quintessence of our day and I hope that through the years, Luis and I have amply expressed  how very much his presence and participation meant to both of us.

Yesterday I got an email from Russell, and before I go on let me affirm that I have his complete permission to share our correspondence with you.

In response to my "43-2" post, Russell wrote:
Very nice - I know this is a tough b'day for you - really did not want to make note of it on FB with the well wishes - keep it positive....but I can only imagine what you are going through.
So to turn this around - lets reflect on the good times and the well wishes that come from all over - and remember your folks with smiles and happiness.
Enjoy in the love of your husband, children and friends.
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To which I replied:
Thanks Russell! I am FINE! And I am totally taking a positive attitude about this year; which is why I'm doing the daily blog - God help me.

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And Russell wrote:
You never cease to amaze me.
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And I then asked WHY???
To which Russell answered:
You are always just sooooo positive about everything no matter what - yes I know you have your moments - but you stay so positive.

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To which I responded:
That's sweet of you to say. And all I can say is that it feels better to be positive than negative. I know that my life has been unusual in so many ways but I also know that I have so much more left to do and I just feel like this is the year. My kids are still very young; Luis and I are still very much in love and I think I can do more good here than with God right now - so he doesn't need me yet! I'm digging my heels in and I'm not giving it a thought AT ALL; REALLY!

I am THANKFUL for all that I have and CERTAINLY for your friendship!
xoxoxo
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And then, given Russell's respect for my privacy; I did the unthinkable and asked if I could publish our emails.  I told him that no one was safe anymore;  and I have to laugh, I mean here he was trying to keep our PERSONAL conversation off of the very PUBLC facebook and then I asked if I could broadcast it to the world through my blog.  However, knowing me as well as Russell does, I'm sure he just chuckled and then agreed.  But here's the thing;  I think that I asked because I don't believe that I could have written the words that I had so easily written to him any better for "The Bumpy Ride."   The truth of the matter is that I am just going about my life as if it's business as usual.  I refuse to consider the what ifs or give negative ideas a moment of my time. I'm just trying to live my life with positivity and gratitude.  Each day surely is a gift and it is up to each of us to choose our happiness.  I CHOOSE to be thankful for what I have rather than sad for what I have not.  My blessings are many and my friendships are abundant.  I have exceptional children, a marriage beyond compare and dream that I am following.  I hope that you will all do the same.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING