(43-365) I Did It!

In honor of this auspicious occasion, I can think of nothing more appropriate than to quote Dora the explorer and say "I did it, I did it, I did it - HURRAY!  Ya I did it!" I know that Dora says "we" not "I", but my monkey sidekick had nothing to do with writing "The Bumpy Ride" for 365 consecutive days, so I hope you'll permit me some creative license on that one.

When I wrote "43" on July 28, 2010, I said that I was committing to write EVERY day for a year PLUS my 44th birthday, so in fact my journey is not quite over; but I think that since this is the last night of my 43rd year it's appropriate for me to review all that I've learned during this excruciating endeavor so that tomorrow I can make a fresh start on a brand new year and the rest of my life. 

To quote myself in "43", "I believe this needs to be a year of recollection, reflection, observation, appreciation, and change; and I plan to do this right before your very eyes."  And, I'm delighted to say that I believe I have.  I've taken you on many walks down my memory lane.  Some strolls were happy and amusing while others were painful and heartbreaking.  I told you "My real life love story", and many, many tales of trial and tribulation.  I got definitions published in "The Urban Dictionary" and entered and lost my first essay contest.  I've written about fear, courage, optimism, perseverance, grief, empathy, sympathy and laughter.  I've shared quotes and songs from various genres, and demonstrated my prowess at Six degrees of Kevin Bacon.  I reported on a season each of soccer and swim team, enlisted your assistance with an art contest and battled an Art Nazi!  I've had thrills and spills, a number of firsts, and made several discoveries.  I found and fell in love with my cousin Jackie, I got three new jobs,  I renewed friendships, strengthened friendships and ended friendships.  I've taken chances and advocated for myself like I never have before.  I gave support, advice, and of course, recommendations for the (say it with me) GREATER GOOD!  And I truly couldn't be more proud of myself than I am right now.

When I wrote "Five Hundred" I mentioned that writing "The Bumpy Ride" every day for this year had been both a blessing and a curse.  I didn't elaborate on the negative; because ya know I like to accentuate the positive.  Yet I will admit that this challenge was far more taxing than I ever imagined.  The truth is that I usually give more though to what I'm gonna have for dinner than I did to what a big (yes) HUGE undertaking a daily commitment would be.  No matter how physically or emotionally tired I was - I had to write.  No matter what fun activity was awaiting me - I had to write.  No matter my location -I had to write.  And so with pad in hand I wrote as night fell upon the drive in.  I typed in a word document at the lake, in Laughlin, and while camping. Then I had to go find a public place with wi-fi so that I could capture the perfect picture to accompany the post and publish it.  I wrote from Las Vegas, and California (twice), not to mention having to get up extra early so that I could publish a post before spending the day in Disneyland.  Each blog took anywhere from half an hour to five to write.  And the award for the blog that took the longest to author, goes to "The Hostess With The Mostess", which I wrote while attending the best crop EVER at Mari's hobby  house.  Now don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining at all.  For me the pros definitely outweighed the cons AND now that I know for certain that I really can commit to doing something EVERY day; I'm gonna get my butt back to the gym, so that (hopefully) this time next year, I'll be able to report that I finally lost the hundred pounds that I've been talking about FOREVER.

If I've learned anything this year, it's this: First, I can do ANYTHING that I set my mind too.  Second, if you want to change your circumstances YOU can.  Third, you are only as limited as you allow yourself to be.  And fourth, to quote RuPaul  "What other people think of me is not my business."   

Once again I  want to thank everyone who has joined me on "The Bumpy Ride" this year and I implore you to keep coming back for more.  Even though this is the end of my year, it is really only the beginning.  I am so looking forward to sharing "44" with you tomorrow, so please make sure to stop by, as I'll be revealing  a very special surprise.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-359) My Story - Part 2

Let me start off by saying that I truly appreciate the heartfelt comments that I've been receiving in response to yesterday's post "My Story - Part 1".  Perhaps most bloggers wouldn't start chapter two of a story that way, but then again; I'm not most bloggers. 

If you read part 1 of my story, then I probably don't need to warn you that this is not a happy tale.  In fact, today's recollection is much more difficult for me to tell -  but I'm going to do it no matter how uncomfortable it is; because I want to leave a written record of what my life was like and how I got to be who I am now...

I did not speak to my mother at my father's funeral.  I didn't know what to say, and at the time I still believed all of the horrible lies that my father had told me about her.  My father's girlfriend made arrangements for my boyfriend and I to spend a week with a friend of mine who lived in Maryland; and upon my return she told me that I had to meet with my mom because I was going to have to go back to live with her.  There were a lot of hurt feelings on both ends I know, but my mother welcomed me back with open arms; and slowly but surely I reciprocated.

We had my Sweet 16 as planned, and a few days later I was admitted to the hospital for Arthroscopic knee surgery; which also had been scheduled before my father had passed away.  School was set to start a few weeks after that, and I didn't want to go to the high school that was by my mom's house since I had been teased terribly throughout Jr, high.  Because my mom understood how important it was to me to remain at Tappan Zee,  she made arrangements with my Principal so that I could use a friend's address and continue going to school there.  As a result of my knee surgery, I had an enormous cast on my left leg, from my ankle to my thigh and  since TZ was a good twenty minutes from my house, my mom went out of her way to drive me to school every morning and she paid someone to drive me home.

I got on with my life, adjusting to not having a father and getting reacquainted with my mother.  Then one day I was called to the Principal's office.  I was informed that I had enough credits to graduate that spring; but since I was only sixteen and had just gone through a truly, traumatic experience, I didn't feel ready to leave my new home.  I opted to stay with my mom, who had been in remission from her Cancer and took classes for college credit during my senior year.  My house became the party house, and all of my friends loved spending time with my mom. She was different.  She was honest with us, and she was fun, and funny and I had far too little time with her.

After being weight listed for my school of choice, my mom and I took a last minute trip to visit two of the Long Island University campuses.  Ultimately she and I agreed that Southampton was the right place for me; but imagine my surprise when on the first day of school, every other person I met was a marine biology major and I was there for Pre-law.  I thought there must have been some mistake.  I mean science was definitely not my forte and pardon the pun, but I felt like a real fish outta water.  I came to be assured that there were other majors at LIU-Southampton; it was just that most people did go there for Marine bio.  Most people, like my suite mate Michele Q.

During our getting to know you exercises Michele Q and I discovered that we had the same birthday.  And at the time, other than our birthdays and our residence, I thought that was all that we had in common.  It wasn't that I didn't like Michele Q; in retrospect, maybe I was just jealous.  She was vivacious, and confident and she walked around singing (beautifully) at the top of her lungs, and maybe just maybe I felt a little threatened by her. 

My mom came out for parents weekend, and she looked great.  I suppose that's why it was such a surprise that she ended up back in the hospital by Halloween.  Her cancer had come back, and I needed to get home to see her.  I was scared and I didn't want to go alone and when I asked if any of my suite mates would go home with me, Michele Q was the only one to say she would.  Michele enlisted our other suite mate Monique to come with us and they managed to turn a very frightening experience into a life changing event.  Michele came home with me every weekend to go see my mom in the hospital.  She had become my best friend; my sister. 

We almost lost my mom at Christmas time, but she managed to hold on.  I returned to school after the New year, but a week into my second semester, my Uncle called to say that my mom was being released from the hospital as there was nothing more that they could do for her, and I needed to withdraw from school, come home and take care of her.

When I got back to my mom's house, I found her in a hospital bed in our living room.  My grandparents had said that they would stay to help and there would be home health aides coming daily as well.  I enrolled at Rockland Community College, and I got a job at a bakery because I couldn't stand to be at home watching my mother deteriorate.  I would get up in the middle of the night when she called me for help, but I did so begrudgingly and that is a cross that I will always have to bare.  I won't make excuses for myself, but I do realize that I was 18 and for the second time in three years I was going to lose a parent.  I was watching my mother be slowly tortured and it was killing me; so no, I wasn't in good spirits when I tried to assist her and I will forever regret that.

While the Cancer took over my mom's body and she had no idea who I was; I had reapplied to the American University School of Justice in Washington D.C and got in.  But knowing that it wouldn't be long before we were going to lose my mom, I decided that I should stay closer to home for my brother's sake and I made plans to return to LIU in the fall.    Feeling like I was going to need to focus on more than just academics, I had applied to become a Freshman Student Assistant and after an extensive interview process I was selected for a position.  FSA training was scheduled for a week before school started, but knowing that my mom's end was near, I couldn't bring myself to leave.  I called Michelle Q, who had just arrived home after spending the  summer in Suriname.  And as soon as I told her how dire things had become with my mom, she literally dropped off her suitcases and got on a bus to come up to see me.

In the only moment of lucidity that my mom had experienced in weeks, she told Michele that she needed to pack me up and take me back to school.  I didn't want to go because I knew that I would never see my mom again, but Michele insisted as it was my mother's dying wish. 

I don't remember saying goodbye to my mother, as the person that I left in that hospital bed was a mere skeleton and not the exquisite, exuberant mom that I had grown to know and love.  I think that I must have cried almost all the way to school, but Michele reassured me that she would be there for me; and she was.

A few days after classes had started, I got the call that I knew was inevitable.  On September 11, 1986 my mom had lost her long, battle with Cancer and at the age of 19, I was parentless.  Michele and some other school friends took me home for the funeral and I attempted once again, to get on with my life.

My Uncle had moved in with my brother, as he was 17 and still needed to finish high school.  I tired to go home for Christmas, but I felt so uncomfortable there, that I never went back.  My Provost knew about my situation and as I wasn't eligible for work study, he created jobs for me so that I could live on campus during winter and summer breaks.

I worked as an FSA, I was Student Government Secretary for a year and a half, and President my senior year.  I changed my major to Sociology because I decided that I didn't want to be a lawyer and I didn't want to lose all of the college credits that I came in with from high school and I decided not to attend my graduation because even though Michele  and my dad's old girlfriend would have been there for me; I thought that it would just hurt too much.

After I lost my father, I thought to myself  that losing someone so unexpectedly must be so much more awful than knowing that someone was going to pass away.  But after watching my mom suffer the way she did, I can honestly say that in my opinion,  knowing is by far worse.   

I know that this story is an unusual one, and I readily admit that these experiences have left me with profound scars.  But each day I try to be the best person that I can be and I endeavor to be a person that my mom would be proud of.  I don't hold a grudge against Richie Howell, I just don't have any fond memories or good thoughts about him. Yet despite him and the course that he set in motion for my life,  I am happy.  I know that although I lost a lot at an early age, I also have so much more than most people, in the way of those who love and care for me.  
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-302) The Best Mother In Law EVER

I think I've mentioned before that my husband, Luis is one of six children; and the only one in his family who speaks fluent English.  Now when I say that he's the only one who speaks fluent English, what I mean is that he has a brother who speaks English (though not fluently) and one younger, sister who understands some English but doesn't speak it; and that's it.  His mom and dad don't speak one word of English, nor do his older brother, older sister or younger sister.  With that being said, you can probably imagine that there is a bit of a communication barrier when my kids and I visit, as we don't speak fluent Spanish.  Nonetheless, we all manage to convey love, respect and appreciation for each other.

I have never met a more faithful woman than my mother in law, and  I find her to be remarkable.  Luis' mom goes to church every day.  She studies the bible daily, and people in their community know her to be a woman who is close to God.  I've been at my mother in laws home at times when people have come to see her in the middle of the night, to ask her to come and sit by the bed of someone who's very ill and pray for them.  No matter the hour or how tired she is; she invariably goes.  People come to both my mother and father in law for counsel of all kinds and they are regularly take the time to help.  What I've  found astonishing about my mother in laws faith, is that she was always accepting of Luis marrying a Jewish girl.  At no point in time did she ever try to convert me or preach the bible to me.  It was enough for her that I believed in God and had faith.

I don't know that if one of my children came to me and said that they had fallen in love with someone who lived in another country and they wanted to leave their family to move there, that I would be as understanding and agreeable, as my mother in law was.  But again, she is a highly evolved woman.  

Now I've told you that I do speak Spanish, and I do so with a pretty good accent, ( or so I've been told),  so I am able to communicate with my mother in law, we just don't have the kinds of conversations that we'd be able to have if we were both fluent in the same language.  We do both speak the language of love though, and through body language, eye contact and embraces, I can tell that we understand each other.  And then of course there's her kindness...

When Luis came home last night, he brought me a big bag of Tamales.  Luis' mom knows this woman who makes the best Tamales EVER!  She makes the most delicious, sweet corn Tamales, and she used to make a shredded beef  Tamale that was to die for.  But as the cost of meet went up, she stopped making shredded beef and opted for ground beef instead.  I tried the ground beef Tamale last year and I didn't enjoy it as much as the others; so I asked Luis to bring home a couple of sweet corn Tamales only.  When we were driving home from the airport, Luis had mentioned something about his mom having made Tamales, and when I questioned him about this; he told me that his mom cooked up some shredded beef and then brought it to the woman who made the Tamales, so that she could make me some shredded beef Tamales.  How sweet is that?  I'm telling you, I have the best mother in law EVER, and certainly not just because of the Tamales.  Her kindness truly transcends language.

I know that one day my kids and I will speak fluent Spanish and we'll be able to communicate with everyone in a much more familiar way.  I can never thank my in laws enough, for giving me the gift of their son.  My in laws did such a wonderful job raising all of their children.   They are truly selfless and extraordinary people and I am so fortunate to have married into such a loving and supportive family. 
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-293) HAPPY Birthday Nicky!!

The one thing that I've always been sure of was that I wanted to have children.  When I was single, I had promised myself that if I wasn't married by a certain age, I would find a way to have a child on my own, because it was just that important to me.  Since Luis and I had such a whirlwind romance, and got married after only knowing each other for a few months; we agreed that we would be married for a few years before we started a family, so that we would have a strong foundation to build upon.

I didn't necessarily want to be an older mom, but between relocating, and the early detection of some pre-cancerous cells; we wound up waiting four years before we attempted to have a baby.  We were very fortunate, because as soon as we made the decision to try and conceive, I got pregnant right away.  Luis and I were thrilled to find out that we were expecting and despite having morning sickness round the clock for twelve weeks; I was ecstatic.

Early on, I believed that I was having a boy and the ultrasound proved me right.  I wanted to name my son after my maternal grandfather Nathan, and since Luis assured me that his family would not pronounce the name Noah properly, we opted for Nicolas.  I would talk to Nicky every day and refer to him by name.  Even after getting sick, I would rub my stomach and tell him "That's OK Nicky, we're going to be alright;" and I felt a love like none that I'd ever known before. 

I remember talking myself through my contractions and saying "just a little while longer and I'm going to see Nicky.  Just a little while longer and I'm going to hold Nicky."  I was not concerned about the pain or discomfort, because I was so excited about getting to meet my son.  And when the nurse placed him in my arms, I cried tears of joy, and I rocked him and said "My Nicky, MY Nicky."  And I felt blessed.  I felt grateful.  I was utterly blissful; as I basked in the warmth of an overwhelming love. What a precious gift from God. 

It seems like just yesterday that I gave birth to my beautiful, baby boy; and yet it's now been twelve years. For twelve years I've been privileged to raise the most exceptional boy.  A boy that any mom would be so proud to call her own.  A boy who is thoughtful and compassionate, sensitive, trustworthy, intelligent, hard working, cooperative, kind, insightful, funny, mature and loving.  A boy who is a great big brother, and a wonderful son.

As always, Nicky didn't ask for much for his birthday.  He wanted to take a treat to school to share with his class, so I bought him cookies at Sam's Club.  He asked to go to PoPo's Fiesta Del Sol for dinner and he requested Red velvet cheesecake (from The Cheesecake Factory), for dessert.  And we were more than happy to comply.


Twelve years ago today, I began to fulfill my destiny. From the moment that Nicky was placed in my arms, I knew that I had been right all along and that I was meant to be a mom.  Holding Nicky I felt complete for the first time in my life.  Oh how Nicky was well worth the wait.

On this his twelfth birthday, I wish Nicky a lifetime of love and happiness.  A life filled with joy and fulfillment.  I hope that he becomes everything that he wants to be and that he has the courage to follow his every dream.  I hope that Nicky will find his passion and lives his life with intention and purpose.  I hope that Nicky will be true to himself and respectful of others.  I wish Nicky the happiest twelfth birthday ever; and I look forward to watching him grow and develop into the person that he is meant to be.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-284) A Day To Remember

Most people seem to have vivid memories of family vacations and holidays; but I also want to remember and rejoice in the importance of the every day.  I want to be able to recall the feelings of spending time with my family and friends when we weren't necessarily doing something special; we were just TOGETHER and enjoying each others company, doing whatever. 

We got an early start this morning.  Well, not THAT early, but maybe a lil earlier than I would have liked.  We took the kids to a rollerskating lesson and I couldn't help but marvel at how far they'd come since the fiasco that was our first skating experience.  Jenny and her kids then met us at ten for open skate; and by 12:15 we went to get some lunch.

Jenny had told us that they were going to a dog expo at Phoenix University Stadium, so we decided to check it out.  Both admission and parking were free, so it was a wonderful way to pass some time.   We had fun seeing the different breeds of dogs; and there was even an agility course, which the kids really got a kick out of.  It was sad to see how many rescued dogs there were up for adoption or fostering.  Yet, it was heart warming to see how many kind hearted, generous, people there were, who were willing to help and care for these animals.

We headed back home and I had some quality snuggle time with Kelsie.  Then Luis, Kelsie and I were off to Sam's Club to buy some burger meat for dinner.  While we stopped to get gas, I called to check on my friend Tina as she'd had a death in her family last night.  Tina said that she was doing much better than she had been the night before; and we discussed  our plans for the rest of the day.  Tina told me that she was going to go swimming and she invited us to join her.  I said that we were on our way to get food to make for dinner, and she welcomed us to grill at her house.  We hurried through Sam's so that we could go to Tina's for an impromptu swim and barbecue; then stopped home quick for Nicky, Lyndzi, swimsuits and towels; and we were on our way.
I love nights like this.  You think that you're not going to be doing anything and then all of a sudden, you are.

I made the burgers, which Luis grilled and they were PERFECT!  Tina supplied all of the drinks and sides, including, this YUMMY Ranch dressing that she made from a Hidden Valley Ranch mix. (see Tina, I mentioned it...)

It's always such a pleasure to spend time with my friend Tina and her daughter Kristin. They are positive, easy going, and loving.  (See Kristin, I mentioned you and I wrote about how great you are just like you told me too, I mean just like you are.) But seriously.  I love Tina AND Kristin; and spending time with them tonight was an unexpected treat.

While I was at Tina's we discussed the fact that I had no idea what I was going to write about today.  We reviewed my day, and agreed that it wasn't necessarily blogworthy.  Not that spending time together wasn't special enough by any means.  I just didn't think that I had a story there.  Once I got home and I got to thinking about it, I realized that not having a story, was my story.  That appreciating the routine, or the day to day was just as important as being grateful for extra special moments; if not more so; because it's all the little pieces of the every day, that make up most of our lives.  The hugs that we receive, the understanding that we share, the appreciation for a good meal; THAT is what life is usually about.  The rest is just gravy.  

In the long run, I went from having an ordinarily, good day to realizing that this really was a day to remember.  A day filled with family, friends and love; and THAT'S what makes life so beautiful!

Till next time...

Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-276) Food Tidings

There are numerous reasons that I consider myself to be a profoundly, blessed woman; and amongst them, I include each and every one of my phenomenal friends.  Since my parents passed away when I was a teen and I had little to no interaction with my extended family; my friends have always been extraordinarily important to me, and I cherish them all.

Although I've mentioned several of my friends in previous posts, you know that there are certain local friends of mine that you hear about more often than others; and one of them, is my amazing friend, Mari.   I've dedicated a number of blogs to extolling Mari's virtues and raving about her talents and trust me when I tell you that I've only addressed the tip of the iceberg.

I last mentioned Mari when I wrote "Oh Scrappy Day!!!" I explained that Mari couldn't join us at the scrapbook convention because her 18 year old daughter had to have surgery just two days prior and she was still in the hospital.  I wrote that post on April 16, and sadly, Mari's daughter has yet to leave the hospital.  Incredible mom that she is, Mari has barely left her side; but she does still have a husband and three other children at home.  I have extended myself to Mari and her family, as I would do anything to try and make things easier for them at this time; but to date Mari has asked for nothing other than her friend's prayers.

I've felt useless.  I've wanted to find a way to help and thanks to Mari's friend Cheryl, I now know how to.  A few days ago I received an email from Cheryl (who I don't know,) and it was an invitation to sign up on Food Tidings so that we could provide meals to Mari's family in her absence.  Foodtidings.com is "a place to manage meals for your family & friends in need!"  It was "designed to help eliminate some of the time and confusion in coordinating a meal schedule;"  and I was so happy to receive an invitation to assist Mari, and her family; until I experienced the discombobulation that I referenced in "ROYALLY Messed Up..."

I was so eager to participate, that I signed up for the first available date, which happened to be the third date on the list.  I knew that my schedule for the next two weeks was going to be a lil busier than usual but I really thought that I would be able to provide dinner on Tuesday 5/3, so I signed up to bring roasted chicken, mashed potatoes and a vegetable.  A while later when I went to write this down on my refrigerator calendar, I was dismayed to discover that bringing a dinner on Tuesday would be an impossibility for me, because both Nicky and Lyndzi are scheduled for Orthodontist appointments at 330 and Lyndzi and Kelsie both have a school concert at 6.  I was very embarrassed about my error and I mustered up the courage to email Cheryl to see if she could switch days with me so that I could bring a meal on Monday (when she was scheduled to.)  Cheryl was very nice when she emailed me back, but she said that she was confused because the family had not requested a meal for Monday since they were going out to eat for Mari's other daughter's birthday.  I apologized profusely for my mistake and for coming off unbelievably flaky; and I told her that I would just schedule a different day.  Sure enough, when I checked the sign-up sheet again, I found that even though Cheryl had signed up for the first date, it wasn't May 2, it was April 28th.  AGHHH!  I'm not comfortable with being so inattentive.  And yes, I know that I'm trying to do a good thing and I didn't make a mistake on purpose, and I should cut my self some slack; but this is me we're talking about, and I just don't do that.  Anyway, I removed my May 3rd menu and selected another day, on which I'll bring Baked ziti with ground beef, salad and bread. 

In the big scheme of things, my little goof up isn't worth a second thought compared to what Mari and her family are going through.  I have such admiration for their strength, courage and love; and it will be my pleasure to bring them meals and lend my support any way that I can.

Although many of you only know Mari through my blog; I'm going to ask that you all say a prayer for her and her family, as there is great strength in numbers.  As always, in the interest of (say it with me,) "The Greater Good," I encourage you to visit Foodtidings.com if you know someone who is in need of the comfort of a meal.
Till next time..
Queen of EVERYTHING  

(43-255) C'mon Get Happy

This week's been a bit of an emotional roller coaster for me; and this morning I was in a foul mood for a couple of hours.  I can attribute it to the weather, or Kelsie, or new school procedures, or friends; or a multitude of other concerns; but regardless of the cause(s) I was downright pissy. 

Queen of OVERTHINKING that I am, I kept rehashing the things that were troubling me; and I thought to myself "I can sit here feeling annoyed and angry OR I can just accept the way things are for now and cross any necessary bridges, if and when I come to them.  Why waste time feeling bad when I could just be happy that I'm alive and thankful for what I have."  I thought,  "I can CHOOSE to be happy and not let things bother bother me."  And amazingly enough, it was just that easy.  And I snapped myself right outta my funk.  

So in the interest of YOUR  (say it with me) "GREATER good," I say to you "C'mon Get Happy."  I'm not naive enough or callous enough to think that all depressions and worries can be pushed aside as simply asI did mine today; however, I do believe that many of us spend time concerned about things or people that we cannot control or change.  We work ourselves up, we don't eat, we overeat, we don't sleep, we sleep too much, we get knots in our stomachs, we cry, we take things out on others and we do things that aren't good for us, when all the while none of these behaviors will effect or change what's bothering us.  So I say DON'T DO IT.  If you chose to be involved in a situation or with a person that causes you grief and distress; ask yourself if it's worth it.  If it is, then choose to be happy no matter what; and if it's not, hasta la vista baby!  For those problems that are more severe; I can only offer these words with the utmost sympathy and respect.  No matter who or what you've lost, your life will go on; even though it might not feel as sweet at the moment.  Embrace the love and care that those who are still with you want to extend and value all that you have, because you now know that nothing is a guarantee and you never know when you might experience another loss; since sadly that's how life is.  

I don't pretend to have the answer for everything, but as someone who suffered through a great deal of loss at a young age; I've learned some very difficult lessons and I'm hoping that you'll benefit from my experience.  I know that we all heal in our own time; but since you don't know how much of your own time you're going to have I hope that you spend your days choosing to feel good and being happy for what you had and thankful for what you have.

Till next time...

Queen of EVERYTHING                                                       

                                                       

(43-254) Music To My Ears

Anyone who knows my son Nicky, can attest that he's a pretty serious guy.  Nicky is the best son EVER!  He's intelligent, kind, thoughtful, caring, loving, polite, well behaved, as well as most other positive attributes that you can think of.  BUT, as much as it pains me to say it, often times he's uptight.  Loving him as much as I do; I work with him on a daily basis to try and help him to overcome his shyness and to relax; but it's been a very slow road.

When Nicky's at home, or with people that he's very comfortable with; he talks and talks; which I know some may find difficult to believe.  He jokes, and teases (to some extent,) and he enjoys comedy.  However, I don't often hear him laugh; and tonight, I had him hysterical; and it was music to my ears.

We were sitting on the couch and I was preparing to write my blog; when all of a sudden I got the urge to tickle Nicky.  I honestly don't think I've really tried to tickle him since he was a baby; which sounds totally unbelievable to me; and yet, I fear that it's true.  I started by tickling him under his knee, and he went nuts; to the point where he was laughing so hard that drool came out of his mouth.  I was so pleased with his reaction, that I switched to tickling him on his side, and then under his arms; and he fell off the couch laughing.  What a delightful sound!

Of course I've heard Nicky laugh before; but usually because he's amused by a TV show or movie OR because he's thought of something that he thinks is funny.  But NEVER have I heard Nicky chortle continuously, as he did tonight.  

I know for a fact that I laughed A LOT as a child.  So much so that I almost got kicked out of kindergarten for laughing.  I remember my mom telling me that she had been called to school because my kindergarten teacher said the I had a contagious laugh and that once I started laughing, the other kids would too.  The problem with that was that I didn't always laugh at appropriate times.  I chalk that up to me having a nervous laugh in addition to a contagious one; but nonetheless it needed to be curtailed.  My mom must have assured the teacher that I would learn to control myself, because I wasn't removed from the class; but I ALMOST wish that one day one of Nicky's teachers would have to make such a call.

I wouldn't want to change any of the great things that Nicky is.  But just like most moms, I want my child's life to be as stress free and easygoing as possible.  I think that tickling Nicky tonight just may have been a big (yes) HUGE turning point for us; and I can't wait to hear that sweet, sweet music again SOON!
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING  

                                                                                                                                                        

                                                                 

(43-227) Love Is In The Air

It's an absolutely, positively, beautiful day in Phoenix today.  The sun is shining; but not yet blistering.  There is a very slight breeze in the air; and we can walk around outside comfortably.  If these aren't signs that Spring break is about to begin; I don't know what is.

My kids and I have been counting down the days until Spring break; and when we arrived at school this morning, it was apparent that we were not the only ones.  The campus was buzzing; and everyone seemed energized with the promise that Spring break brings.  Who woulda thought that I would be as excited about having my kids at home for a week, as I was to be heading down to Daytona Beach, back in the day?  And yet, this is as good if not better!

I volunteered in Kelsie's class, and then met Mari for coffee, where I used my Starbuck's gift card that I'd gotten in my Christmas stocking ~ BONUS!  Mari and I sat and talked leisurely for about an hour and a half; and that was  nothing short of delightful.  I then went for my long, overdue pedicure, at Basic Elements.

I love going to Basic Elements, because I'm able to visit with my friend from swim team, Jenny K; while she does my pedicure.  When all was said and done, my feet looked human again, and my toes were a spectacular shade of green, with white polka dots ~ FUN!!  I wanted to share a picture of my toes with you; but Luis was so appalled by the idea, that I just couldn't go through with posting it.  I think his exact words were "oh great, the chopped up toe or the messed up toe;" and I just about died laughing.  Look it is, what it is.  If you've ever read "The Bumpy Ride " before then you know that my feet are NOT my best feature; but I don't let that stop me.  If you're new to "TBR" email me and I'll provide you with links for a number of posts that detail the various problems with my feet.  Anywho - I've got a sassy new pedicure, and I'm gonna show my toes off - just not on this blog.

But I digress... After my pedicure, I met Luis for lunch; and then picked up the kids from school.  It's now officially spring break ~ WOOHOO!!  
I talked with each of their kids about their day; and my nine year old, Lyndzi had some interesting news to share.   With a big ole smile on her face., Lyndzi told me that Hannah had asked (a boy I'll call) Luke who he liked; and Luke said "Don't tell (a boy I'll call) Tommy (who just happens to be his best friend;) but I like Lyndzi."  The reason that Luke didn't want anyone to tell Tommy, is because Tommy has openly admitted that he loves Lyndzi and plans to marry her.  In fact, his mom even told me that Tommy loves my daughter, and talks about her all of the time.  I knew that Lyndzi was pleased to hear that Luke liked her; because I had been suspecting that she liked him as well; which is REALLY interesting because a couple of months ago they had a lil run in.  Now I'm sad to say that Lyndzi herself, didn't tell me about this incident; I heard about it from her teacher.  One day after lunch, Lyndzi went to her teacher and told her that she thought she was being bullied.  her teacher asked what happened and she told him that Luke had come up to her and said "I wish that your name was Patty, so then I could say to you; Patty, Patty you're a fatty."   Her teacher spoke to Luke, and when he apologized to Lyndzi, she said "That's OK but don't do it again."  I was really proud to hear that she'd stood up for herself; though disappointed that I hadn't heard about this incident from her directly.  Anyway, a few weeks later, I started to hear that Luke wanted to sit next to her at lunch, and his name was being uttered more frequently in our home; so my mama's instinct kicked in.  Guess this proves that old adage about boys teasing and girls when they like them.

Fast forward to today... After Luke told Hannah AND Lyndzi, that he liked her; Hannah immediately spread the news to the other girls and then ya know what happened.  One of the lil girls ran over and shared the news with Tommy.  Lyndzi said that Tommy handled it well, but then at tech lab BOTH of the boys were trying to hug her.  Ahh, it's almost Spring, and thusly, love is in the air.  God help me!
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-225) THE BEST HUSBAND EVER!

OK, I'm just gonna have to come right out and say this; and I don't mean to slight anyone else's spouse when I make this comment; BUT, my husband, Luis is THE BEST HUSBAND EVER!  Who else but the man who knows my heart inside and out, would post this picture on Facebook for me; just because he thought it would make me smile. 

I've ALWAYS liked piglets; not that I've ever had the pleasure of meeting any up close and personal; but I'd welcome the opportunity to do so.  Anyway, Luis called me this morning and he told me that he sent me something on Facebook, and when I got a chance I should take a look.  Well of course I wasted no time signing in; and I literally squealed with delight, when I saw the picture of this precious piggy. I LOVE it! 

A little later in the day, Luis called again and told me to check out his Facebook status.  I was just about to take my lunch break, so his timing couldn't have been better; and when I read what he'd written, I was stunned; but in a good way.  Luis' posted "LOVE OTHERS AS THEY ARE, NOT AS YOU WANT THEM TO BE;" and I thought it was brilliant!

I asked Luis where he'd found that quote and he told me that it was something that he'd been thinking about for a while, and he'd been trying to put it into the right words.  Luis thought that there might be a possibility that this idea came from something similar that he'd seen somewhere else.  So he wasn't sure that he deserved all of the credit. Just to be on the safe side; I did some research (YES, research,) and guess what?  As best as I can tell; he sure does!  I am very happy, and extremely proud to tell you, that this wonderful quote, is in fact, a Luis Ramos original. 

Talk about (say it with me,) "The Greater Good."  Luis' quote is one that I want to remember every day of my life.  It should be so easy for us to remember that no one is perfect; including ourselves; and yet, when we get upset, angry, frustrated or disappointed with our loved ones; it's typically because they didn't act in a way that we wanted them to.  They didn't behave in a way that we would have.  BUT, we have to remember that we are all individuals, with our own thoughts and perceptions and feelings; and no one person's thoughts, perceptions and feelings are more important or more valid than anothers when you're having a relationship; whether it be a romance, a family or a friendship. 
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-201) Hard To say Goodbye...

What an incredibly bittersweet day.  After a wonderful weekend of getting to know my cousin Jackie and her family; we had to say our goodbyes and head back home to Peoria. 

Once I woke up, I got in bed with Jackie, because her husband Gene, had gone out to get doughnuts.  Jackie and I lay in bed talking and one by one, my kids climbed in bed with us as well.  I told you it was a lovefest.
Once Gene returned; we all went into the kitchen and enjoyed a leisurely breakfast.  We then packed up and took a walk.

As our time together was coming to an end; everyone grew very sad; and it was extremely difficult to say goodbye; even though it was only a "goodbye for now."  Jackie and I embraced and cried; and I was overcome with emotion.  As we drove off, I cried harder; because I was in pain - not physical; but emotional.  Sometimes it's true; ignorance IS bliss.  I knew that I felt deprived of a biological family (other than MY kids,) but since it had been so long since I'd known what having that family felt like; once I did get to feel it again; I felt very sad to have been missing those feelings and connections for all of these years.  I didn't want to upset my kids by crying; but I couldn't help myself.  Everyone, including Luis cried with me; and after a few minutes, I was able to stop.

Being with Jackie and her family this weekend was more than I could have hoped for. We had lots of time to chat, we went to Disneyland, we went to the beach, we had FANTASTIC Chinese food; we laughed, we learned and we loved; A LOT!  I shared many stories with Jackie; and although I NEVER think of myself as someone who's had a difficult life; it reminded me that truly I have had some devastating experiences that others my age have not; and yet I have survived it all and managed to become a person that I am proud of.  In addition to that; I had an epiphany of sorts.   I thought to myself; "if I can get through my parents brutal divorce, the death of my father when I was 15, and all that it entailed; the death of my mother when I was 19 and all that it entailed; then none of the petty crap that I've been dealing with lately, is anything compared to what I've already been through and it doesn't matter AT ALL."  What does matter; is that my family is now complete.  Our lives are now changed for the better and we will never be alone again. 
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING 

(43-199) Welcome To The Lovefest!

We left Peoria around 430 yesterday; destination Thousand Oaks, California; to the home of my cousin Jackie.  I would have thought that I would have been hyper or anxious about finally getting to be with Jackie; but instead, I was unusually calm; as if I was going to see somoene that I'd known all of my life.

Although I was excited beyond belief, I was having a very difficult time staying awake.  See, I told you I was calm... But,  I'll attribute that to the Flu, that chose this day to kick my butt; OK, and the fact that I ALWAYS fall asleep on a car trip.

We arrived around 1130pm, and were greeted by a sign on Jackie's garage door that said "Park here.  Welcome to the Lovefest!"   Jackie came running out shrieking with excitement, and hugged me with every ounce of her being.  Her hug felt so familiar, and so loving; as if I'd known her all of my life.  And we cried.  We were both so overjoyed to be in each others arms, that we were overcome with emotion.  I think my kids (who had only just woke up,) weren't sure what to make of our tears; but we assured them that we were just happy and so glad to be together.  Jackie kept thanking me for finding her; and I could not express, (yes me;) how much it means to me to have her in my life.   

I know that I am extraordinarily blessed to have Luis for my husband, to have my three amazing children; and the world's best friends.  But the fact that I lost both of my parents by the time that I was 19 years old, has always left a void in my life, that no other relationship could fill; until now.  There is an unspoken, unconditional love and understanding that Jackie and I have shared from the moment that we've reconnected; and it has made me feel complete.  To be in her presence; truly feels like I've come home; and I know that I will never feel alone again.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING 

(43-198) The Missing Piece

I am so EXCITED, that I don't think I'm going to be able to sit down long enough to write this post; so I'm going to keep it brief.  YES, brief.  On November 11, 2010 I posted "Just What I Needed;" and I told you about how I found my first cousin, Jackie (who I never really knew,) on Facebook.   Jackie was equally delighted that I had found her; because although her parents are still alive; she didn't grow up with a lot of extended family around either.  We've been getting to know each other through text, email, Facebook IM and phone calls, ever since; and we are constantly amazed at how similar we are.

Early on Jackie and I tried to plan a time that we could get together for a weekend; but between the holidays and soccer we had to wait until February 10 - which has finally arrived!!  I remember counting down the days from about 59 or so, and it felt like February 10 couldn't come soon enough; and now it's finally here; and coughs and congestion be damned; we're still going.  Of course that was mutually agreed upon by Jackie and her family, as I would never show up coughing and sneezing without forewarning someone; let alone bring five people in that condition, without having her total consent.  But, we're family; and Jackie is prepared for whatever germs we might share; along with our love.

I'm getting giddy just thinking about it.  Getting to know Jackie these past three months has made such a big (yes) HUGE difference, in my quality of life; and I think that one of the things that I am most happy about, is that it's not only Jackie and I who are thrilled about finding each other; but our spouses and children are all ecstatic too.  I think that we all knew in our hearts that something was missing from our lives; and now we feel like we've found it.  It's going to be a lovefest for sure!
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-181) An Immediate Connection

When I wrote "What's Going On..." I told you that Lyndzi had been sick for a few days; and I really want to thank everyone that's expressed their care and concern.  I took Lyndzi to Urgent care on Sunday, because I didn't want to wait until Monday to get her treatment.  She was diagnosed with an upper respiratory infection and they're treating her for Bronchitis too; due to her Asthma.  She's been taking steroids, antibiotics and breathing treatments; and she is starting to feel better, but I was told to keep her home on Monday; at the least.

We're a very snuggly, cuddly, family; and that is especially true when someone isn't feeling well.  Lyndzi likes me to sit next to her and comfort her while she's having her breathing treatments; and I'm more than happy to do so; which is why I used a sick day today.  Since I work from home the majority of the week, it is often difficult to justify needing a sick day; but I knew that Lyndzi needed my undivided attention and I was not going to deny her.

I got Nicky and Kelsie off to school, and once Lyndzi awoke we began her breathing treatments and medication.  After 24 hours on the steroids, she seemed to be doing a little better, so I suggested the possibility of taking a  ride to meet our cousin Becky, (Jackie's daughter;) at The Cheesecake Factory (where she works) and Lyndzi very much wanted to go.  Now I know that a lot of parents wouldn't have done this; and that's ok; I felt I was justified.  First off, Lyndzi wasn't contagious, secondly, she LOVES school, so I had no reason to fear that she would seek additional days off, expecting lunch and outings; and lastly, Becky's Grandpa (my Uncle Harry) was having surgery today, and we expected to receive the results at the time that Lyndzi and I would have been with her; and I wanted to be able to lend our support if the outcome hadn't been good ~ so we went.

When I wrote "Just What I Needed..."  I told you about how I found my cousin Jackie on Facebook; and I shared that her daughter, Becky; lived right here in Arizona ~ but, our surprise visit to her today was also our first.  Lyndzi and I walked in to The Cheesecake Factory and asked the hostess for Becky.  Someone went to get her; and as she approached the hostess station, I recognized her from her Facebook pictures, but she clearly had no idea who I was.  The hostess told her that I was the one who had asked for her; and once she came over to me, I said "Hi, I'm Paige;" and she gave me a huge hug.  I then introduced Lyndzi and they hugged as well.  I told her that Lyndzi and I had taken a sick day, so we thought we would come see her; and she was very happy that we did.  She asked us to stay for lunch; and we gratefully accepted.  OK foodie friends; I know you want to know what we ate; and ya know I hate to disappoint; SO... Lyndzi ordered the kids pasta Alfredo, (which I tasted and it was DELICIOUS;) and I ordered the grilled eggplant sandwich, which I had considered on several previous visits to the Cheesecake Factory; but since I had never been there for lunch before; I thought this seemed like the perfect opportunity to try it.  In addition to the grilled eggplant, the sandwich had roasted red peppers, grilled Bermuda onions and a garlic aioli.  I chose a salad, instead of fries; and it came with a fabulous vinaigrette; which I really enjoyed.  Becky was able to sit down with us a couple of times; and we discussed our upcoming trip to Disneyland next month; and how excited we all were to be going together. We discussed where we live in relation to each other; and I told Becky that our house was her house and that she was always welcome.  We talked about soccer and swimming, and Just Dance, for the Wii.  We discussed "Master Chef" and "Iron Chef," and taking a trip together to Sedona, when her mom comes out for a visit. And then, Becky said the magic words, that I'm sure Lyndzi was elated to hear; "Would you like some cheesecake?"  I said that Lyndzi could get a piece to take home and share with Nicky and Kelsie; and Becky said, "well, let's get a couple;" and she whisked Lyndzi away to the bakery.  When Lyndzi returned to the table, she was very excited to tell me that the baker asked if she was Becky's sister; and Becky said "no, she's my cousin."  THIS made Lyndzi's day; and we discussed it quite extensively, both at the table and after we left.    Lyndzi said "I'm not sure why that comment made me so happy;" and I suggested that there was something very special about having an immediate connection with a relative that you'd never met before.  I went on to say that Becky really was a stranger; but by virtue of being related to us; we immediately loved and accepted her; and we wanted her to do the same; and that's exactly what she did.

After saying goodbye to Becky, Lyndzi and I left, hand in hand and very happy.  Lyndzi said "I bet I know what your blog is going to be about tonight;" and I said "I think that's a great idea."  As poorly as Lyndzi had been feeling, I know that meeting Becky really lifted her spirits.  We are both so thankful to have our new cousins in our lives and we look forward to getting to know them better and better.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-180) The Toddler Laws Of Property

If you've ever read "The Bumpy Ride" before; I'm sure this title seems untimely.  If you're new to The Ride; I'll explain that it's been quite some time, since I've personally had a toddler.  My son, Nicky is now 11 1/2, my daughter, Lyndzi is nine and my youngest; Kelsie, is seven.  But when Kelsie was two, I bought her a t-shirt with "The Toddler Laws Of Property" on it, and I've kept it all this time; because I wanted to use what was written on it for a scrapbook page; ONE DAY.

Sure; I could have written down what was on the shirt, and then gotten rid of it; but this is me that we're talking about, and I don't always do things the easy way.  I'll be honest, I'm not even sure where the shirt was.  I thought I had it on the top shelf of Kelsie's closet; yes, yes, I'm going to stick with that.  It WAS on the top shelf of Kelsie's closet; so what it was doing downstairs, and wet at that; I have no idea; but that's where and how I found it this morning.

I re-read the shirt; and it gave me the same chuckle that it did, years ago when I first saw it.  If you've never seen this shirt, and you have a toddler, have had a toddler or ever met a toddler; I think it will give you a smile too:

The Toddler Laws Of Property
1.  If I like it, it's mine
2.  If it's in my hand, it's mine
3.  If I had it a little while ago, it's mine
4.  If it looks just like mine, it's mine
5.  If I think it's mine, it's mine!

I loved when my children were babies, so small and new; and as they grew into toddlers, I cherished those moments too.  Everything was a discovery, what foods tasted like or why different things worked the way they did; including themselves.  Each of my children were so different from each other; which is why I never would have bought this shirt for Nicky or Lyndzi; but for Kelsie, it was perfect. With each child I learned more about individuality, patience and flexibility. Oh I loved having young children; but, there is definitely something to be said for the blessing of communication.  As your children get older they are able to tell you when something is hurting them or they don't feel well.  You are able to talk with them about their happiness and their sorrow; and you are able to merge your relationship to where not only are you parenting them; but you're enjoying each others company.

I'm so glad that I came across Kelsie's shirt today.  It reminded me of how far we've come and how much fun and love we've shared getting there.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-166) Puppy Love

Anyone who knows me, or has read "The Bumpy Ride" before; knows that I am TOTALLY in love with my Chihuahua, Hershey.  We hadn't planned to get a dog, at the time that Hershey came into our lives; but as soon as we met her, the girls and I were smitten; and by the time we brought her home from Mexico, Nicky was too. 

Now I don't know many people who can resist a snuggle with a new, little puppy; and today, we were fortunate enough to spend time with three. The kids and I went over to my friend Jen's around noon, so that she and I could work on a banner for the Torpedo's, AND so that we kids see her new puppies that were born on Christmas.  We had seen pictures of the two puppies on Facebook, and I couldn't wait for my kids to meet them in person; as they had never seen such young puppies before.  Jen told us that the puppies had only started opening their eyes yesterday, and that one of the two, had been trying to stand up.  The kids and I took turn holding the puppies; and we were all enamored.   Just being in their presence made us giddy.

As if spending time with the new pups wasn't enough; we went to Michelle M's this evening and got to know her Chihuahua, puppy Sushi, who's about four months old.  Sushi is an apple head Chihuahua, unlike Hershey, who's a deer head; and she is sweet and affectionate, and wanted to cuddle right up to us; which we all adored.

There must be a reason that kids and adults alike love to go to the pet stores in the mall.  We all know that we shouldn't buy dogs there, because the prices are exorbitant and the puppies usually aren't in the best of health; and yet it's very difficult to resist a trip into the store, so we can ooh and ahh over all of the adorable pups.

There's just something about a puppy that puts a smile on the face, lifts the spirits and touches the soul.  If only we could bottle that feeling, like perfume and dab it on.  And yes, I'd call it Puppy Love.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-164) Rubber Bands & Common Sense

This week, I told a Lyndzi story, in "The Princess of Positivity," and a Kelsie story, in "What A Girl!" so last but not least; I DO have a Nicky story.  This was a tough week for Nicky.  On Tuesday he went to the Orthodontist and they put heavier wires on both his top and bottom teeth; and then, as if that wasn't enough to get used to; they gave him rubber bands as well.  The Orthodontist's assistant came out and explained everything to me; and then asked me to come back with her so that she could show me how to put the rubber bands in; if Nicky were to need some help.

I walked over to Nicky, who was still sitting in the Orthodontist's chair; and he looked like he was on the verge of tears.  Nicky was in pain from the heavier wires AND he was frustrated because he was having difficulty putting the rubber bands in.  I assured Nicky that he was going to be fine; and I told him that if he could figure out how to play all the video and computer games that he plays; he can figure out how to put the rubber bands in.  I told him to think of it like a game, as he tried to hook the rubber bands to the 3 brackets; and he rose to the occasion.

Nicky asked to stay home on Wednesday, because he was in so much pain; and I let him.  I totally remembered how miserable I used to feel after I would have my braces tightened, or wires replaced and the addition of rubber bands on top of it, just may have been to much to bear.  I gave Nicky Ibuprofen and bought him some mashed potatoes and a vanilla shake from Culver's and by the time the girls got home from school, Nicky was feeling a little better. 

With Nicky going back to school; I was concerned about him changing his rubber bands after lunch; but he told me that he managed; and I have to say that I am very impressed with how well he's adapted.  Nicky has yet to need my help putting the rubber bands in or taking them out; so maybe my suggestion to think of it as a game, was a good one.

Now, as if the braces adjustment wasn't enough of an inconvenience for one week; Nicky met with another.  On Wednesday night, I discovered that Nicky's Facebook account had been deactivated; and I didn't know why.  We decided that he should wait 24 hours before trying to log into his account, but even after the time elapsed, the account was still inaccessible.  We submitted an inquiry and were advised that they would email his account.  A little while later, Nicky asked Luis and I what the email meant; but as we hadn't read it, we couldn't explain.  Luis asked Nicky if he'd read it; but he hadn't, so Luis instructed him to do so.  Nicky went to go read the email, and when he returned, we asked what it said, but he had deleted it.  WHAT?  I couldn't figure out why in the world he'd delete the email before understanding it, or showing it to Luis and I; and I guess I should say, that not only did he delete it from his inbox; he permanently deleted it; so there was no way for Luis and I to see it and assist him.

Long story short, if I'm being perfectly honest, I suppose you could say that I chastised Nicky for deleting the email and after Nicky went up to bed; Luis called my attention to how hurtful what I said may have been to Nicky.  I went up to see Nicky, because the last thing that I would want to do is hurt him.  I explained that what he had done, showed no common sense; and that it was important to have common sense, because common sense can keep you out of trouble.  I told Nicky that you can have a 4.0, straight A's, and be the smarted person in the world; but without common sense; you could get hurt; both physically and emotionally; and I would hate to see that.
I reviewed what had transpired with the account, and explained why it would have been necessary for us to have seen the email.  Ultimately, I think Nicky understood; and by this morning we were able to re-activate his account.  It turns out, they suspected that it may be a "fake" account, and suggested that Nicky send more friend requests, put more status updates and send messages to friends; in order to be recognized as a genuine account.

I explained this to Nicky, and encouraged him to try and use Facebook more actively.  Now there's a twist.  Most parents of pre-teens probably don't have to prod their kids to use FACEBOOK; but then again, Nicky IS NOT most kids; and I am so grateful for that.  Nicky is a kind, thoughtful, sensitive, caring, young man.  He is hard working, diligent and wise; so when he doesn't use the good sense that he was given; I find it frustrating and disappointing.  I never want anything bad to happen to Nicky (or any of my children, ) but I have to insure that if something bad did happen; they wouldn't fall apart and they would be able to rely on their common sense to know how to handle the situation.

I know that sometimes, it may seem that I'm very strict; but the truth of the matter is; I lost both of my parents before they were done teaching me a lot of valuable lessons; so since we never know how much time we're going to have; I try not to miss an opportunity to teach my children something.    Nicky has learned some very important lessons this week, and I think that he'll be all the better for them.  He'll get there; I know he will!
Till Next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING