![]()
A couple of months ago I wrote a blog called "Love Gives You Courage", and I told you about this girl (who I called Brenda for the sake of the blog.) I explained that Brenda had been very rude to Nicky and that Lyndzi had stuck up for him. I also told you that I wasn't a fan of Brenda's, partly because she's mean and has a phony smile, but also because she's inconsiderate and obnoxious. I know that those are strong words to say about a child and I apologize if I seem harsh; but I don't know what other words to use to describe her behavior. This isn't exactly something that I can consult my Thesaurus about, and when I tell you what I'm about to tell you; it may be apparent why.
I've mentioned on more than one occasion that during home swim meets, Luis and I (along with my friend Kailene) sit at the judges table and figure out what place all the swimmers come in. Although this position can be a little stressful, we do get a front row seat for all the action and there's something to be said for that.
If you're not familiar with swim team procedure, I can tell you that we swim two different strokes and one relay, during each swim meet. Also the kids are divided into three age groups during Lyndzi and Kelsie's meets, as well as three groups at Nicky's meets. We will run as many heats (races) as necessary, in order to assure that all swimmers are given the opportunity to swim. Typically the coach will put his/her fastest swimmers in the earliest heats; so imagine my surprise when Brenda chose to swim in the fifth (out of six) heats. I noticed that she was doing this a number of weeks ago, because Brenda is a very good swimmer and she is particularly fast; but I can't help believing that she does this so that she can come in first all the time.
My kids do swim team for the daily exercise that it provides and because they like competing. It would be very easy for me to tell Lyndzi (for example) to wait to swim towards the end of the heats because there were weaker swimmers that she could surely beat; but I'm not about that. Although I like when my kids do well, because it boosts their self esteem; I'm also OK if they come in dead last as long as they tried their best and had a good time. Coming in first EVERY time is not going to prepare "Brenda" for the reality of life. And truth be told, it's not the placing that counts; it's actually your times. My feeling is that 1. Brenda needs to let the girls in the later heats, compete against each other and let some of them enjoy success.
2. Brenda needs to challenge herself and compete against people whose aptitude for swim is more similar to hers. And lastly, she needs to learn that it's OK not to come in first all of the time.
There are very few if any, individuals who come in first each and every time they do something; so I think Brenda needs a lil dose of reality. And she needs to learn what it means to play fair and be a good sport.
We couldn't help but discuss Brenda during the meet, because it was obvious to every one that she intentionally swam in a less competitive heat, so that she could come in first and even though this is a recreational swim team, it was inappropriate to do so.
I find it very sad that coming in first is so important to Brenda and yet I know that there are a lot of other people out there like that. It seems to me that Brenda is basing her self-esteem on how well she does in a swim meet, but she's doing herself a great disservice. And as someone who loves children, I find this disturbing. Apparently Brenda's parents don't have a problem with what she's doing and if I took a wild guess, that's probably because coming in first is the only thing that matters to them, no matter the means.
I hope that my children know that just like they're not a 4.0 or an award winning painting or a first place ribbon; it's the process that counts, and you should be proud of yourself regardless of your place or time. If you believe that you tried your best and you enjoyed yourself while trying; that's a greater prize than any ribbon.
Till next time,,,
Queen of EVERYTHING
If you've read "The Bumpy Ride" before, then you know that all three of my kids do swim team in the summer. All three kids are skilled swimmers; however, to date Lyndzi (my 9 year old daughter) has enjoyed the most success. Lyndzi is an extremely fast swimmer, and she's just lovely to watch. Kelsie is very good for a 7 year old, but she isn't quite the swimmer that Lyndzi was at that age; and although Nicky (almost 12) is VERY precise; he does need to work on his speed. All three kids have been taking a swim team prep class for the past three weeks. Nicky and Lyndzi practice in the same group (9-13 years) and Kelsie practices with the younger group (5-8 years.)
Swimming has been going well. The kids are all starting to rebuild their endurance and get back in shape; but most importantly, they really enjoy it. They swim Monday through Thursday and I must say that yesterday Lyndzi was in super competitive mode. The coach had even told me how great she thought Lyndzi was doing and how much she enjoyed watching her. It seemed like Nicky was having a good day too. We noticed that he had swam his last lap a lot faster than usual; but when they got out of the pool, I could tell that something was wrong. I asked Lyndzi what was the matter and she told me that she was mad at this girl (that I'll call Brenda, for the sake of this post.) Now I'm not a fan of Brenda's to begin with. Whenever she sees me, she gives me this phony little smile, and I don't trust her; so needless to say, I was very interested to hear why Lyndzi was mad at her, since I've never heard her say such a thing about anyone but Kelsie before. Lyndzi explained that they had swam a lap and she finished first, then Brenda, and when Nicky finished, Brenda told Nicky that he was slow. Lyndzi said "I didn't think that was nice and I told her that it was a very rude thing to say, and that she should apologize to my brother. She said that she already apologized, but she wasn't sincere and she gave him this fake smile. I don't like how she treated Nicky, and so I'm mad at her."
I was so proud of Lyndzi for sticking up for Nicky. And what I find truly amazing is the courage that love gave her. If the situation had been different, and Brenda would have been rude to Lyndzi; I don't believe that Lyndzi would have stood up for herself. But with as much as Lyndzi loves Nicky, she couldn't help but come to his defense. Truth be told, she probably didn't even think twice about it. Her love for Nicky gave her the courage to stand up for him and I think that's beautiful. Nicky surely could have spoken for himself, but Lyndzi didn't even want him to have to. I love how connected and protective they are over each other. As a mom, it is a great reward, and gives me confidence that they will look out for each other, when I can't be there to do it.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING
My kid's started their swim team prep tonight; and I couldn't be happier, because that means that summer vacation is right around the corner. It was so great to see them in their swimsuits, goggles and towels in tow. And once they got to the pool, I felt like we were home.
This will be Nicky and Lyndzi's fourth year on the swim team and Kelsie's third; and I have to say that in some ways, I enjoy watching them swim, even more than I like to watch them play soccer; if you can believe that. Maybe it's because even though they're on a team; unless they are competing in a relay, their success depends solely on themselves. If Lyndzi for argument sake wins a first place ribbon, it's because of her own hard work and no one elses; and I think that is very gratifying for them. The same may be said if one of the kid's wins a fifth or sixth place ribbon for example. They and only they can take responsibility for the outcome of their race and they can choose to work on improving or be content with where their effort has gotten them. What a great learning experience.
I know that some Mom's don't like having their kids home all summer, but I relish every minute of it. I like seeing my kids all day, and hearing their voices while I'm working, and knowing that I can hug or kiss them whenever I want. I get great pleasure watching them swim their laps and hang out at the pool with their friends, while they wait for their siblings lessons to begin or conclude. I love to watch them compete and cheer them on every step of the way. I can't wait to have the time to travel around leisurely. We want to camp, and go to the beach. We plan to visit my cousin Jackie; and our other California friends; then of course there's our Wet 'n' Wild season passes, not to mention my impending birthday and trip to New York.
Yes my favorite season is right around the corner and I am giddy with anticipation; but I'll put my excitement on hold for just a moment, so that I can share some info for (say it with me,) "The GREATER Good." If you live in the City of Peoria (AZ that is,) and you're not aware of the swim team program, I'm going to tell you a little about it. The City of Peoria has four swim teams, Two at Centennial HS (The Sea Turtles who practice in the morning and the Stingrays who practice in the evenings.) The Pirhanas are based at Peoria HS and the Sharks are the Sunrise HS team. Practice begins on Monday, May 23. They typically practice Mon thru Wed and have meets on the fourth day. Meets are either Thursday afternoon / evening, Friday afternoon / evening or Saturday morning. Swim team typically ends around July 15 and costs $80 per child. They don't require you to buy a team swim suit, but they recommend that you buy something similar. Right now they're offering swim team prep which is conditioning. The classes run Mon-Thurs for two week sessions. Children under 8 practice for a 1/2 hour and 9 and older practice for 45 minutes. The cost is only $18 per child for the 8 classes, and they begin a new session every two weeks between now and the middle of May. If you think that your child may be interested in participating on one of the swim teams, the prep is a great introduction, because they will swim as much as they do at practice, and get a good taste of what it will be like.
I'm counting down the days, in more ways than one. Just 15 more blogs to reach 266, and after that I'll have just 100 to go. That sounds like a crazy number when I say it, but considering how far I've come, it's a mere drop in the bucket. Once I get past post 266, I'll be counting down the days to Nicky's twelfth birthday, and the kid's last day of school. Then counting down the days until our pending July 4th trip to California, and shortly thereafter, my 44th birthday and my New York homecoming. Much to look forward to and even more to be thankful for.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING
A couple of months ago I wrote a blog called "Love Gives You Courage", and I told you about this girl (who I called Brenda for the sake of the blog.) I explained that Brenda had been very rude to Nicky and that Lyndzi had stuck up for him. I also told you that I wasn't a fan of Brenda's, partly because she's mean and has a phony smile, but also because she's inconsiderate and obnoxious. I know that those are strong words to say about a child and I apologize if I seem harsh; but I don't know what other words to use to describe her behavior. This isn't exactly something that I can consult my Thesaurus about, and when I tell you what I'm about to tell you; it may be apparent why.
