(43-341) "HOME"

The very best thing about my 43rd year (other than surviving it), has been that I've formed a beautiful relationship with my cousin Jackie and her family.  I've told you before that Jackie is more like my sister than a cousin, and in the seven months that I've known her, she's brought an abounding love and contentment to my life.

Jackie and I are in communication one way or another on a daily basis and even though we're going to New York together on the 28th, we wanted to have a family visit as well.  Luis and I thought that it would be special to spend our anniversary and July 4th weekend with Jackie and her husband, Gene, so we drove to California  yesterday so that we could all be together.

Since I lost my parents so many years ago, I haven't had a "home" to go home to; so whenever Luis and I would go to Puerto Vallarta, I would say that we were going "home."  But, I now feel like even though I'm not from where Jackie lives, and I'd never been there before a few months ago; wherever I see Jackie, that's "home."

I've told you repeatedly that I have the most fantastic friends; and I'm so fortunate because they all go out of their way to make me feel welcome and comfortable in their homes.  Needless to say I'm so very appreciative of that; but their is a feeling in my heart when I'm with Jackie, that I've NEVER felt before.  There's an unspoken reassurance, an understanding, a commonality, a kinship, an acceptance and a love that I can only imagine comes from knowing that she's my family; and for once, I feel like I truly belong somewhere.  Amazingly enough, I can see the same reaction from Luis and my kids; and it is so comforting to know that they feel the same way too. 

We didn't want to make any big plans for this weekend.  No theme parks, or special activities; just family time at home.  We swam,played Scrabble, and just spent time enjoying each other's company and I don't think that any of us would have wanted it any other way.

I am a firm believer in expressing my gratitude.  If you're a regular rider, then you know that I thank my family, I thank my friends, and I thank my readers on a very regular basis; and I do so because I think that if there's something that makes your life special, then you should show your appreciation for it as often as possible; because sadly, you never know when that something might be gone.  So thank you to my cousin, Jackie and her family for embracing me and my family with open arms and making our lives so much richer. And thank you to you, for taking the time to join me on "The Bumpy Ride."
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-317) 50 Things To Do In New York

Just 50 more days till I'm in New York.  So, since you know from "100 MORE Random Things About Me", that I make lists; and I've demonstrated numerous times that I'm a big (yes) HUGE fan of continuity - I think it's appropriate that I do a 50 things that I want to do in New York list.  Interestingly enough, most of them involve friends and food, but that should come as no surprise.  So in no particular order...

1.   Go to the cemetary to visit the graves of my Mom, my maternal grandparents and my great aunt and uncle.
2.   Take Lyndzi and Jackie to "The Condos" so they can see where I grew up.
3.   While at "The Condos", visit my old neighbor Elayne.  (She knows we're coming)
4.   Show Lyndzi and Jackie where I went to elementary school.
5.   Take everyone on a tour of New City.  I think it will be really interesting to see what's changed.
6.   Go to a diner in Rockland County
7.   Spend the afternoon with Ruthie (AKA Big V) and her husband Joe and daughter, Olivia.
8. Go to The Rockland Bakery. I have memories of walking in and having the delicious smell of fresh baked bread hit me in the face; and catching HOT rolls as they came shooting out of the oven. Now that was heaven.
9.   Try to catch up with Stefanie S.
10. See my friend Patti from High School.
11. Visit with my old roommate, Tammy and her daughters Allie and Isabelle.  Although I've never met Tammy's girl's, I have a feeling that Lyndzi and Allie are gonna be the best of friends.
12.  See "Mamma Mia"
13.  Meet up with at least two of the girl's (now women) that I used to work with when I was a Social worker.
14.  Have lunch with my friend June.
15.  Although I haven't called her yet, I REALLY want to see my mom's best friend, Millie.  I'm not sure when or how I'll be able to do so; but no trip to NY would be complete without seeing her.
16.  Eat and buy New York Bagels.  It's the one thing that Luis has asked me to bring home.
17.  Spend as much time as possible with the magnificent, Rachel S.
18.  Never let Michele Q out of my sight. 
19.  Go to The Hamptons
20.  Show Lyndzi and Jackie where I went to college.
21.  I was going to say Eat Splat (Fresh clams, shrimp, steamers, mussels, and lobster) at the Lobster Inn in Southampton, but I've read mixed reviews. I'll have to check with Michele Q on this one and if in fact it's not as good as I remember; we may just have to make our own.
22. Go to Central Park.  I'm a native New Yorker, and in the 26 years that I lived in NY, I'd never been.
23. Go to the Statue of Liberty.  It's the one place that Lyndzi has asked to go, and additionally, another place that I've never been.
24.  Have a NY hot dog from a cart.
25.  Go to China town
26.  Go to Little Italy
27.  Hang out with my childhood friend, the SLENDIFEROUS, Judy.
28.  Enjoy the company of my dear friends Dawn and Michael.
29.  Visit with the magnificent, Rachel S' extraordinary mom, Penny.
30.  Meet my cousins.
31.  See my friend Jasmine
32.  See my friend Bobbi
33.  Spend time with my friend Stacy S.
34.  Catch up with my friend Stacy F.
35.  Meet the wife of my senior prom date, Berger.
36.  Enjoy as many meals as possible with as many friends as possible.
37.  Eat Challah french toast
38.  See my beautiful, friend Stephanie M while I'm in The Hamptons.
39.  Go to the beach
40.  Laugh
41.  Hug all of my friends - A LOT!
42.  Snuggle with Lyndzi
43.  Introduce all of my friends to my incredible daughter and my wonderful cousin.
44.  Go dancing in The Hamptons
45.  Take lots of pictures!
46.  See everyone and anyone who wants to see me; even people who haven't made plans with me yet - hint, hint!
47.  PLAY
48.  Eat Pizza
49.  Shop!
50.  Relax. - Really, I'm gonna try.

No matter how many of these things I actually do, I know it's going to be the best trip EVER!  Can't wait to tell you all about it.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-297) Fabulous Friday!

Oh Friday, how I love you!  Whether I'm having a date with Luis, or spending the evening with my kids and friends -Friday is usually my favorite day of the week.

This morning  Jenny and I took the kids out for brunch to celebrate the end of the school year.  After that I had a couple of errands to run. I exchanged a pair of flip flops at Payless; then our next stop was Kohl's.  Let me tell you why...  The other day I received the sweetest card from my friend Penny.  Penny is the mom of Rachel S. and I told you about her when I wrote "The Care Package."  Well getting the card was such an unexpected treat, and it really made me feel good.  But as if the card wasn't enough, Penny also included 2 $10 gift cards for Kohl's.  Penny wrote that she had received the gift cards and Rachel had mentioned that I like to shop at Kohl's so she hoped that I would be able to use them.  How kind and generous was that?  Since the cards had a 5/21 expiration date, I wanted to hurry over there so that I could put them to good use.  Now the cards did say "one per customer."  They also said "non-transferable," so I wasn't even sure if I'd be able to use them; but since I knew that I'd have to make two separate transactions, I gave the gift card and  $5 to Jenny and asked her to try and buy this $16 necklace for me.  (It was on sale for 35% off.)  Jenny returned and handed me my change.  She said that the necklace cost me just  .44  How great is that?  Knowing that I'd have no problem using the other card, I purchased a sundress and top for Lyndzi.  Both were on sale, PLUS I had a 15% discount card as well as Penny's gift card, so it was just $10 out of pocket for this purchase.  I couldn't have asked for a better shopping experience.  Thank you so much Penny AND Kohl's!!!

After some shopping, we headed for the park.   The weather was beautiful and a terrific time was had by all.  The kids enjoyed playing, while Jenny and I chatted away.  We left the park a few hours later, and I went home to get ready for Mari's, surprise, birthday dinner at  The Cheesecake Factory.  There were eight of us there including Mari, who would have been surprised had she not seen my minivan in the parking lot - arrghh!  We joked and laughed A LOT!  We had a very attentive waiter, delicious food, OK,and dessert (though I shared with Lisa B.)  Not wanting the night to end with dinner, five of us decided to go to Charming Charlie,  (the MOST phenomenal accessory store that I've ever seen.)  Huge fan of color that Iam, I was in heaven when I saw all of the different sections of the store, arranged by color.  It was like a rainbow had exploded and dropped all of the brilliant, purple jewels in one area, all of the green in another, all of the aqua to the left and the orange to the right. etc. etc. etc.   Oh my goodness, it was just glorious.

I'd been wanting to go to Charming Charlie for a while, and even though they had some very reasonable prices; there was no way that I was going to be getting a necklace for just .44 so I convinced myself that if I purchased anything it would have to be either a very special ,piece OR an irresistible price.  Well the special piece won out, and I must say that for as artful as it was, the price was very fair. ( Just under $15.)  I can't it and do it justice, so I'll just have to take a picture of it when I wear it. 

What an absolutely, fabulous Friday.  I couldn't have asked for a more perfect day.  From start to finish it was just exceptional.  It's days like today that make the more mundane days seem worth it.  Days when I can just realx with my family and friends.  When we can eat and chat and shop.  It just doesn't get much better than this.
I am so grateful to have had another day.  And not just ANY day, but a delectable  day.  Thanks to everyone who was a part of it.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-294) Luis' Big Trip

In May 1994 Luis moved from Puerto Vallarta to New York, so that we could get married.  And in the seventeen years that he's been here, we've never spent more than three nights apart; until now.  We'd been married for four years, the first time that Luis went away over night without me.  And the only reason that I was amenable to it, was because he was going treasure hunting.  YES, you read that right.  I said treasure hunting.  We were at home in Puerto Vallarta, and Luis and his brother's drove out to the town where Luis was born (about three hours away), and they took Luis' metal detector so that they could look for gold that their grandfather had buried on his property a long, long, time ago.  Yep, the prospect of finding gold felt like a good enough reason to be separated for an evening.  Alas, no treasure was found that night; but one returned to me.

Two years later, Luis had to go to Northern California for his Aunt's funeral; so we apart for a couple of nights. (Two or three I think.  I can't exactly remember.)  And then of course there were the SMF trips to Laughlin and Vegas; but if I'm not mistaken, I think those were only two night stays. I've had a few nights away from home myself.  There was my 40th birthday Scraptacular weekend, CHA with Rachel for Scrapbooking from the Inside Out; as well as Rachel's 40th birthday party weekend.

Truth be told, I don't like to be away from my family.  I prefer to travel with them; but given this economy and the fact that we didn't feel safe planning a road trip to Puerto Vallarta this year; it seemed only fair that Luis should go home without us. 

I dropped Luis at the airport this morning and although I was nervous about him being gone for a week, I was sincerely happy that he was going to see his family and spend quality time with them. When I picked my kids up from school, they told me that they already missed Luis.  I assured them that they would speak to him every day, and that we would keep very busy this week so that the time would pass quickly.  Luis called tonight and spoke to everyone, even Hershey who barked when I said that Daddy was on the phone.  He sounded very happy and relaxed and he truly deserves to be. 

I hope that Luis and my in-laws have a wonderful visit, and that the kids and I aren't too stressed by his absence.  I'm going to encourage everyone (myself included), to use this week to realize how much Luis does for us and how much we love, respect and value him. 
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-284) A Day To Remember

Most people seem to have vivid memories of family vacations and holidays; but I also want to remember and rejoice in the importance of the every day.  I want to be able to recall the feelings of spending time with my family and friends when we weren't necessarily doing something special; we were just TOGETHER and enjoying each others company, doing whatever. 

We got an early start this morning.  Well, not THAT early, but maybe a lil earlier than I would have liked.  We took the kids to a rollerskating lesson and I couldn't help but marvel at how far they'd come since the fiasco that was our first skating experience.  Jenny and her kids then met us at ten for open skate; and by 12:15 we went to get some lunch.

Jenny had told us that they were going to a dog expo at Phoenix University Stadium, so we decided to check it out.  Both admission and parking were free, so it was a wonderful way to pass some time.   We had fun seeing the different breeds of dogs; and there was even an agility course, which the kids really got a kick out of.  It was sad to see how many rescued dogs there were up for adoption or fostering.  Yet, it was heart warming to see how many kind hearted, generous, people there were, who were willing to help and care for these animals.

We headed back home and I had some quality snuggle time with Kelsie.  Then Luis, Kelsie and I were off to Sam's Club to buy some burger meat for dinner.  While we stopped to get gas, I called to check on my friend Tina as she'd had a death in her family last night.  Tina said that she was doing much better than she had been the night before; and we discussed  our plans for the rest of the day.  Tina told me that she was going to go swimming and she invited us to join her.  I said that we were on our way to get food to make for dinner, and she welcomed us to grill at her house.  We hurried through Sam's so that we could go to Tina's for an impromptu swim and barbecue; then stopped home quick for Nicky, Lyndzi, swimsuits and towels; and we were on our way.
I love nights like this.  You think that you're not going to be doing anything and then all of a sudden, you are.

I made the burgers, which Luis grilled and they were PERFECT!  Tina supplied all of the drinks and sides, including, this YUMMY Ranch dressing that she made from a Hidden Valley Ranch mix. (see Tina, I mentioned it...)

It's always such a pleasure to spend time with my friend Tina and her daughter Kristin. They are positive, easy going, and loving.  (See Kristin, I mentioned you and I wrote about how great you are just like you told me too, I mean just like you are.) But seriously.  I love Tina AND Kristin; and spending time with them tonight was an unexpected treat.

While I was at Tina's we discussed the fact that I had no idea what I was going to write about today.  We reviewed my day, and agreed that it wasn't necessarily blogworthy.  Not that spending time together wasn't special enough by any means.  I just didn't think that I had a story there.  Once I got home and I got to thinking about it, I realized that not having a story, was my story.  That appreciating the routine, or the day to day was just as important as being grateful for extra special moments; if not more so; because it's all the little pieces of the every day, that make up most of our lives.  The hugs that we receive, the understanding that we share, the appreciation for a good meal; THAT is what life is usually about.  The rest is just gravy.  

In the long run, I went from having an ordinarily, good day to realizing that this really was a day to remember.  A day filled with family, friends and love; and THAT'S what makes life so beautiful!

Till next time...

Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-272) Four Weeks And Counting...

As I was packing the kid's lunches this morning, I glanced over to the dry erase calendar that we keep on our fridge; and then advised Nicky that his birthday was three weeks from today.  I followed this announcement up by broadcasting that they would be done with school in just four weeks.  WOOHOO!!  And I did say THAT too.

I know that a lot of parents don't like having their kids home for the summer; but I REALLY look forward to it.  I like to spend as much time with them as possible; and I sadly recognize that it won't be long before they don't want to spend as much time with me.  

After dropping the kids at school this morning, I went to register them for Swim team.     Another sign that summer is just around the corner; and I can't wait.  I know that I've said it many times, but it's just amazing to me how quickly time flies by.  It seems like just a couple of years ago that I gave birth to Nicky, and yet he'll turn twelve on May 16.  All  I can say is that if you have children, young ones in particular; enjoy each and EVERY minute, because the little things that annoy you now, will seem like nothing as they get older and their problems get bigger.  When they're little it's so easy to plan EVERYTHING for them.  What they'll eat, what they'll wear, when they'll sleep, who they'll play with etc. etc. and as they get older they make more and more of these decisions for themselves; and not always successfully.

Yes, I'm counting down the days until the end of the school year and the beginning of our family time.  My favorite time!
Til next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-270) EGGtravaganza!

Richie Howell (my father for any newbies;) was always responsible for coloring, and hiding our Easter eggs, as well as preparing our Easter baskets.  Although I don't credit him for much; I will say that he ROCKED Easter and all that it entailed.  Interestingly enough, he was also the mastermind behind our incomparable Christmas trees, and the splendid bows and wrapping on our gifts.  It's kind of ironic that he was able to express his love in these ways; considering that he was rarely around, but I'm very glad to at least have SOME good memories of him.

Back in the day, my brother and I were never a part of the egg dying process.  We just woke up Easter morning and searched for the eggs that Richie Howell had colored.  I can't recall why Luis and I (OK, I) decided not to use colored eggs for our very first Easter egg hunt; but we opted for the plastic ones; and we've been using them ever since.

Over time, it's become our tradition to put various denominations of money in the plastic Easter eggs; and use those for our hunt with Michelle M and her son.  We also dye eggs for an activity, but we never hide them, nor do we eat them; so I'm not REALLY sure why we do it; and yet I wouldn't consider skipping it.

Today we were invited to our friend Tina's for a big egg dying EGGtravaganza.  Tina has a more the merrier point of view, so she told us to invite Jenny and her kids as well.  Knowing that we had an EGGciting, EGGercise ahead of us I boiled three dozen eggs; and headed to Tinas's around 245.  Tina had several tables set up and more dyes than I've ever seen.  It was EGGtraordinary!  All of the kids were happily coloring their eggs; and Luis, Jenny and I got in on the act too.  THEN, Tina brought out some chalk board eggs.  She had spray painted the eggs black, and the kids were able to use chalk on them.  They were EGGcellent!

I love the traditions that I've created with my family and friends.  Or should I say my family of friends... In fact, as soon as I'm done with this post, I'm off to Michelle M's so that we can commence with our Easter baking.  We've decided to bake cupcakes rather than a cake; and we're attempting Red Velvet with cream cheese frosting and Vanilla with a butter cream, Coconut, and Pecan frosting.  Calories don't count on the holidays right?

I hope that you all enjoy YOUR holiday traditions and I wish you an EGGceptional Easter.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-251) Right Around The Corner

My kid's started their swim team prep tonight; and I couldn't be happier, because that means that summer vacation is right around the corner.  It was so great to see them in their swimsuits, goggles and towels in tow.  And once they got to the pool, I felt like we were home.

This will be Nicky and Lyndzi's fourth year on the swim team and Kelsie's third; and I have to say that in some ways, I enjoy watching them swim, even more than I like to watch them play soccer; if you can believe that.  Maybe it's because even though they're on a team; unless they are competing in a relay, their success depends solely on themselves.  If Lyndzi for argument sake wins a first place ribbon, it's because of her own hard work and no one elses; and I think that is very gratifying for them.  The same may be said if one of the kid's wins a fifth or sixth place ribbon for example.  They and only they can take responsibility for the outcome of their race and they can choose to work on improving or be content with where their effort has gotten them.  What a great learning experience.

I know that some Mom's don't like having their kids home all summer, but I relish every minute of it.  I like seeing my kids all day, and hearing their voices while I'm working, and knowing that I can hug or kiss them whenever I want.  I get great pleasure watching them swim their laps and hang out at the pool with their friends, while they wait for their siblings lessons to begin or conclude.  I love to watch them compete and cheer them on every step of the way.  I can't wait to have the time to travel around leisurely.  We want to camp, and go to the beach.  We plan to visit my cousin Jackie; and our other California friends; then  of course there's our Wet 'n' Wild season passes, not to mention my impending birthday and trip to New York.  

Yes my favorite season is right around the corner and I am giddy with anticipation; but I'll put my excitement on hold for just a moment, so that I can share some info for (say it with me,)  "The GREATER Good."  If you live in the City of Peoria (AZ that is,) and you're not aware of the swim team program, I'm going to tell you a little about it.  The City of Peoria has four swim teams, Two at Centennial HS (The Sea Turtles who practice in the morning and the Stingrays who practice in the evenings.)  The Pirhanas are based at Peoria HS and the Sharks are the Sunrise HS team.  Practice begins on Monday, May 23.  They typically practice Mon thru Wed and have meets on the fourth day.  Meets are either Thursday afternoon / evening, Friday  afternoon / evening or Saturday morning.  Swim team typically ends around July 15 and costs $80 per child.  They don't require you to buy a team swim suit, but they recommend that you buy something similar.  Right now they're offering swim team prep which is conditioning.  The classes run Mon-Thurs for two week sessions.  Children under 8 practice for a 1/2 hour and 9 and older practice for 45 minutes.  The cost is only $18 per child for the 8 classes, and they begin a new session every two weeks between now and the middle of May.  If you think that your child may be interested in participating on one of the swim teams, the prep is a great introduction, because they will swim as much as they do at practice, and get a good taste of what it will be like.

I'm counting down the days, in more ways than one.  Just 15 more blogs to reach 266, and after that I'll have just 100 to go.  That sounds like a crazy number when I say it, but considering how far I've come, it's a mere drop in the bucket.  Once I get past post 266, I'll be counting down the days to Nicky's twelfth birthday, and the kid's last day of school.  Then counting down the days until our pending July 4th trip to California, and shortly thereafter, my 44th birthday and my New York homecoming.  Much to look forward to and even more to be thankful for.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-201) Hard To say Goodbye...

What an incredibly bittersweet day.  After a wonderful weekend of getting to know my cousin Jackie and her family; we had to say our goodbyes and head back home to Peoria. 

Once I woke up, I got in bed with Jackie, because her husband Gene, had gone out to get doughnuts.  Jackie and I lay in bed talking and one by one, my kids climbed in bed with us as well.  I told you it was a lovefest.
Once Gene returned; we all went into the kitchen and enjoyed a leisurely breakfast.  We then packed up and took a walk.

As our time together was coming to an end; everyone grew very sad; and it was extremely difficult to say goodbye; even though it was only a "goodbye for now."  Jackie and I embraced and cried; and I was overcome with emotion.  As we drove off, I cried harder; because I was in pain - not physical; but emotional.  Sometimes it's true; ignorance IS bliss.  I knew that I felt deprived of a biological family (other than MY kids,) but since it had been so long since I'd known what having that family felt like; once I did get to feel it again; I felt very sad to have been missing those feelings and connections for all of these years.  I didn't want to upset my kids by crying; but I couldn't help myself.  Everyone, including Luis cried with me; and after a few minutes, I was able to stop.

Being with Jackie and her family this weekend was more than I could have hoped for. We had lots of time to chat, we went to Disneyland, we went to the beach, we had FANTASTIC Chinese food; we laughed, we learned and we loved; A LOT!  I shared many stories with Jackie; and although I NEVER think of myself as someone who's had a difficult life; it reminded me that truly I have had some devastating experiences that others my age have not; and yet I have survived it all and managed to become a person that I am proud of.  In addition to that; I had an epiphany of sorts.   I thought to myself; "if I can get through my parents brutal divorce, the death of my father when I was 15, and all that it entailed; the death of my mother when I was 19 and all that it entailed; then none of the petty crap that I've been dealing with lately, is anything compared to what I've already been through and it doesn't matter AT ALL."  What does matter; is that my family is now complete.  Our lives are now changed for the better and we will never be alone again. 
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING 

(43-200) We Are Family

"Milestone, milestone, who's reached a milestone?"   "It's me, it's me; Uh-huh, uh-huh. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, 200 posts!  As if my lil introduction  wasn't already given it away; today marks another milestone for me and the labor of love that is the 43 series of "The Bumpy Ride;" as I have now been 43 for 200 days; and this is my 200th consecutive post. 

When I first began the 43 series, I told you that I was going to write every day, so that I could document what I did with the year that possibly could have been my last.  Reflecting on the past 200 days  I would have to say that of all of the lessons that I've learned thus far; and all of the experiences that I've had - my most rewarding accomplishment has been building a relationship with my cousin Jackie and her family.  With this being said; I'm sure that you can imagine how full my heart is to be able to write this 200th post from Jackie's home; after spending a wonderful weekend together.

Although Jackie and I have been in daily contact with each other over the past three months; we certainly didn't learn everything and anything there was to know about each other; and I have to say that I am blown away by all of the similarities that we share.  Not only personality traits, (and there are MANY;) but our likes and dislikes too.  From our preference for whipped cream cheese, to disliking sand; or having our feet feel dry from the sand; to our love of ribs and barbecue pork lo mein the commonalities were endless.  I could go on and on but for brevity's sake (YES, brevity) the last mutual pleasure that I'll mention is our passion for Broadway shows.  Big deal one might say.  Lots of people enjoy Broadway shows; and this is true.  But the amount of knowledge that we both have about past Broadway shows; is uncanny.  I think that we could sit and talk for hours on end, JUST about Broadway shows; and I am delighted about that.

This weekend has been AMAZING in so many ways; and I have to say that Jackie feels more like a sister to me than a cousin; and I feel so blessed to  be able to say, we are family.     
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-198) The Missing Piece

I am so EXCITED, that I don't think I'm going to be able to sit down long enough to write this post; so I'm going to keep it brief.  YES, brief.  On November 11, 2010 I posted "Just What I Needed;" and I told you about how I found my first cousin, Jackie (who I never really knew,) on Facebook.   Jackie was equally delighted that I had found her; because although her parents are still alive; she didn't grow up with a lot of extended family around either.  We've been getting to know each other through text, email, Facebook IM and phone calls, ever since; and we are constantly amazed at how similar we are.

Early on Jackie and I tried to plan a time that we could get together for a weekend; but between the holidays and soccer we had to wait until February 10 - which has finally arrived!!  I remember counting down the days from about 59 or so, and it felt like February 10 couldn't come soon enough; and now it's finally here; and coughs and congestion be damned; we're still going.  Of course that was mutually agreed upon by Jackie and her family, as I would never show up coughing and sneezing without forewarning someone; let alone bring five people in that condition, without having her total consent.  But, we're family; and Jackie is prepared for whatever germs we might share; along with our love.

I'm getting giddy just thinking about it.  Getting to know Jackie these past three months has made such a big (yes) HUGE difference, in my quality of life; and I think that one of the things that I am most happy about, is that it's not only Jackie and I who are thrilled about finding each other; but our spouses and children are all ecstatic too.  I think that we all knew in our hearts that something was missing from our lives; and now we feel like we've found it.  It's going to be a lovefest for sure!
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-196) Thank You Winston Churchill

Yes of course I caught what the kids have.  You can't be in close proximity to these germs and love on them as much as I do; and NOT catch this crap; but what's a mom to do?  I've been coughing for a few days now; but I was hoping that it was just the power of suggestion. I tried to remain positive, and disregard my symptoms; but when my temp got to 101.5; I knew that it was official. Thankfully I don't feel nearly as bad as one might expect; but nonetheless; I KNOW that if we can't rid ourselves of at least these fevers; we can't take our trip on Thursday. 

Now I haven't mentioned Luis thus far; and that might just be my way of willing him NOT to get sick; but I will tell you that (knock on wood) he's been fever free to date; although his nose has been running which isn't the case for any of the rest of us.

I knew that I needed to update my cousin Jackie this morning, so I texted her to let her know that I was now running a temperature; and she was amazingly optimistic.  I've been trying to remain positive as well; but I worry about getting anyone in her family sick.

Because I want to believe that we will all be well enough to travel, and not spread our illness to anyone else; I decided to look for a quote (big surprise I'm sure;) that would inspire me to think the best.  I quickly found a quote by Winston Churchill; and even though it doesn't exactly pertain to THIS situation; I thought it related very well to everything else that I've been experiencing these past two weeks.  “A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”   

If you've read "The Bumpy Ride" before; then you know that I'm a big (yes) HUGE fan of optimism.  And I have to say, Thank you Winston Churchill; because your words were exactly the reminder that I needed, in order to move freely past all that's been troubling me; Flu as well. 
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-191) A Spirit Lift

This has been A WEEK; for me; and by A WEEK; I mean it's been stressful.  I'm not going to give any details at all; let's just suffice it to say that I've learned a lot of lessons; which although painful, have also been necessary - and I'm ready to put it all behind me.  With that being said; I want to try and focus on the positive; on the things that are wonderful in my life; and the things that I have to look forward to. 

When I wrote "100 MORE Random Things About Me," #31 was, I make lists.  So in the interest of lifting my spirits, and reminding myself how LUCKY I am to be alive; and how fortunate I am for all that I have; I've compiled a top ten list of things that I am looking forward to; and I'm REALLY going to to try and focus on this:

1.  In just one week, we will be on our way to California, to spend the weekend with my cousin Jackie and family.  We are all SO elated and we just  can't wait!

2.  According to the Glamour Magazine essay contest rules; they were supposed to read the entries on or about February 1; so I'm remaining optimistic that I will hear from them soon; and if not, I will finally be able to share my essay with you.

3.  Getting my house in order.  The painting is ALMOST complete; and then everything will be able to get back into place; or in a new place.  I am really looking forward to seeing how it all turns out.

4.  The roller skating lesson.  It was supposed to be this coming Saturday, but we had to re-schedule for Feb. 19.  I am so happy to be able to give my kids the opportunity to have a positive skating experience; and I'm thrilled that a number of their friends will be joining them.

5.  The Oscars!  Pool or no pool (because I have no expectation of winning;) I just LOVE watching the Oscars. 

6.  "GLEE" "GLEE" and more "GLEE"  I have no interest in the Superbowl, whatsoever; but following the Superbowl will be an episode of "GLEE," and then back in it's regularly scheduled Tuesday time slot will be "GLEE;"  and for a GLEEk like me; that's something to smile about.

7.  My next pedicure.  I have an appointment with my friend Jenny, at Pure Elements; right after I finish work next Wednesday. Jenny does such an amazing job; and she's always fun to be around.  SO, shameless plug for Jenny, if anyone in the Peoria, Phoenix area wants to get a pedicure; I HIGHLY recommend making an appointment with her.

8.  Time off.  Of course I'm referring to the time that we're taking off to go to California; but in addition to our excitement about where and why we're going; it will be fantastic for the five of us to have time to relax together.

9.  Date day!  Luis and I will be celebrating an early Valentine's day tomorrow.  It seems like with all of the painting and things we've had going on, we haven't had a good bona fide date in several weeks and we are planning a special day for Friday.

10.  Just 175 days until I turn 44!  Need I say more?

Ahh!hh I took a deep breath; and I can honestly say that comprising this list has made me feel better.  It's put things in perspective; the things that are REALLY important.  Sure, there may be bumps in the road; but if everything was always straight and predictable; life would be kind of boring.  Don't get me wrong; I could use a little straight and predictable for a while; but I also know that when they occur, I am strong enough to weather any bumpy rides.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING 

(43-181) An Immediate Connection

When I wrote "What's Going On..." I told you that Lyndzi had been sick for a few days; and I really want to thank everyone that's expressed their care and concern.  I took Lyndzi to Urgent care on Sunday, because I didn't want to wait until Monday to get her treatment.  She was diagnosed with an upper respiratory infection and they're treating her for Bronchitis too; due to her Asthma.  She's been taking steroids, antibiotics and breathing treatments; and she is starting to feel better, but I was told to keep her home on Monday; at the least.

We're a very snuggly, cuddly, family; and that is especially true when someone isn't feeling well.  Lyndzi likes me to sit next to her and comfort her while she's having her breathing treatments; and I'm more than happy to do so; which is why I used a sick day today.  Since I work from home the majority of the week, it is often difficult to justify needing a sick day; but I knew that Lyndzi needed my undivided attention and I was not going to deny her.

I got Nicky and Kelsie off to school, and once Lyndzi awoke we began her breathing treatments and medication.  After 24 hours on the steroids, she seemed to be doing a little better, so I suggested the possibility of taking a  ride to meet our cousin Becky, (Jackie's daughter;) at The Cheesecake Factory (where she works) and Lyndzi very much wanted to go.  Now I know that a lot of parents wouldn't have done this; and that's ok; I felt I was justified.  First off, Lyndzi wasn't contagious, secondly, she LOVES school, so I had no reason to fear that she would seek additional days off, expecting lunch and outings; and lastly, Becky's Grandpa (my Uncle Harry) was having surgery today, and we expected to receive the results at the time that Lyndzi and I would have been with her; and I wanted to be able to lend our support if the outcome hadn't been good ~ so we went.

When I wrote "Just What I Needed..."  I told you about how I found my cousin Jackie on Facebook; and I shared that her daughter, Becky; lived right here in Arizona ~ but, our surprise visit to her today was also our first.  Lyndzi and I walked in to The Cheesecake Factory and asked the hostess for Becky.  Someone went to get her; and as she approached the hostess station, I recognized her from her Facebook pictures, but she clearly had no idea who I was.  The hostess told her that I was the one who had asked for her; and once she came over to me, I said "Hi, I'm Paige;" and she gave me a huge hug.  I then introduced Lyndzi and they hugged as well.  I told her that Lyndzi and I had taken a sick day, so we thought we would come see her; and she was very happy that we did.  She asked us to stay for lunch; and we gratefully accepted.  OK foodie friends; I know you want to know what we ate; and ya know I hate to disappoint; SO... Lyndzi ordered the kids pasta Alfredo, (which I tasted and it was DELICIOUS;) and I ordered the grilled eggplant sandwich, which I had considered on several previous visits to the Cheesecake Factory; but since I had never been there for lunch before; I thought this seemed like the perfect opportunity to try it.  In addition to the grilled eggplant, the sandwich had roasted red peppers, grilled Bermuda onions and a garlic aioli.  I chose a salad, instead of fries; and it came with a fabulous vinaigrette; which I really enjoyed.  Becky was able to sit down with us a couple of times; and we discussed our upcoming trip to Disneyland next month; and how excited we all were to be going together. We discussed where we live in relation to each other; and I told Becky that our house was her house and that she was always welcome.  We talked about soccer and swimming, and Just Dance, for the Wii.  We discussed "Master Chef" and "Iron Chef," and taking a trip together to Sedona, when her mom comes out for a visit. And then, Becky said the magic words, that I'm sure Lyndzi was elated to hear; "Would you like some cheesecake?"  I said that Lyndzi could get a piece to take home and share with Nicky and Kelsie; and Becky said, "well, let's get a couple;" and she whisked Lyndzi away to the bakery.  When Lyndzi returned to the table, she was very excited to tell me that the baker asked if she was Becky's sister; and Becky said "no, she's my cousin."  THIS made Lyndzi's day; and we discussed it quite extensively, both at the table and after we left.    Lyndzi said "I'm not sure why that comment made me so happy;" and I suggested that there was something very special about having an immediate connection with a relative that you'd never met before.  I went on to say that Becky really was a stranger; but by virtue of being related to us; we immediately loved and accepted her; and we wanted her to do the same; and that's exactly what she did.

After saying goodbye to Becky, Lyndzi and I left, hand in hand and very happy.  Lyndzi said "I bet I know what your blog is going to be about tonight;" and I said "I think that's a great idea."  As poorly as Lyndzi had been feeling, I know that meeting Becky really lifted her spirits.  We are both so thankful to have our new cousins in our lives and we look forward to getting to know them better and better.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-179) What's Going On...

Today's post, is a response to a writing prompt from Mari's "Memories And Thoughts" jar; which I told you all about in "There's Something About Mari."  The prompt I chose read "Describe what's going on around you right now, in detail."  

Now details aren't something that I usually have to be encouraged to share; for I am the Queen of DETAILS; in ways both good and bad.  I'm extremely detail oriented; Queen of THOROUGHNESS, as I told you in "Making Things Right," remember?  However, when it comes to telling a story; it may be said that sometimes I OVER share, or provide too much information.  If I do, I assure you that it's because I'm an overachiever, and a people pleaser; so I'm of the opinion that if you have to ask me for details, then I haven't done a satisfactory job of explaining - and I would hate for anyone to think that I'd left something important out or hadn't done a good job.  WHEW!  So, in DETAIL, here's what's going on...

I am feeling quite lazy today; and I'm attributing this to the fact that I haven't slept very well for the past two nights; because Lyndzi's been sick.  it started out as a sore throat, but she rapidly became congested and developed a nasty cough; so it's been difficult for her to sleep; and in turn, for me as well.  In addition to my lack of sleep, I have a sinus headache that I can't seem to get rid of; so I don't feel like doing much of anything; which is highly unusual for me.  Since I'm feeling so out of it; I thought I'd put my time on the couch to good use and write my blog; but given my present state of mind; I couldn't think of anything amusing, useful or moving to share; so I turned to my handy, dandy jar.  Thank you Mari!

As I sit and type; Luis is finishing up his paint job in the kitchen.  He's working on the wall that runs through our kitchen and family room, and this is the last wall, that he needs to complete.  After that it will just be the inside of two small windows that are about 16 feet high, some baseboards and a few touch ups and then he'll be done.  If you don't count a shelf and mirror that he's going to paint black for me.  I can't  say enough about how impressed I am with the job that Luis has done so far.  Talk about being detailed.  He's taped, he's cut in, he's painted, he's trimmed, and he's done it all SO WELL.  He's just a painting machine; and to answer your next question; yes, he loves it.  He's very pleased with what he's done so far, and he's enjoyed the project; according to him.  At the moment he's vacuuming the family room wall, to prepare to move into this room; which actually isn't good news for me; because it means that I'm going to have to get up from where I'm sitting.  I know, that's awful; I'm sorry.  It's not that I'm ungrateful; I'm just tired.

When I first picked this topic out of the jar, Lyndzi was sitting at the kitchen table, making clothes for her Barbies out of old soccer socks.  She made 4 dresses in total, a red, an orange one that even had a pumpkin broach, a white one and a royal blue.  Lyndzi's talent just blows me away.  Apparently not only can she draw, and sculpt; she can also use her artistic ability to design clothes as well.  Her talent seems to be limitless; God bless her.  As soon as Lyndzi completed her fashion line; she and Kelsie went into our playroom, so they could try out the new outfits on their dolls.  Lyndzi and Kelsie get along well, more often than not; and today was thankfully one of those days.  It was heartwarming to listen to them role play as their dolls; but that came to an end when  Lyndzi came to sit down with me, because she wasn't feeling well. 

While Luis is painting, Nicky is in the  guestroom / office / craft room playing Club Penguin and Kelsie is trying to collaborate with Lyndzi who is now back at our kitchen table, working on her latest design.  I am sitting, amidst a mountain of clean clothing that has been taken from the dryer and needs to be put away.  My house in in total disarray, due to the painting project and the displaced wall hangings; but for once, I'm just choosing to ignore it; and cater to my physical need to sit and move nothing but my fingers; as I type. 

It's now a few minutes; (oh, details;) seven minutes after five; and I just received two texts, which means that I need to start planning our evening and since I've really given you ALL of the details of what's going on; I guess I'll just say...
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING 

(43-157) Ten For 10'

If I had to choose a word to represent MY 2010; without a doubt, it would have to be DISCOVERY.  This past year I have learned so much about myself, my family, my friends, and life in general.  Although I've frequently written about my discoveries on "The Bumpy Ride," since this is the end of the year; I would like to share TEN of my most important discoveries with you.

This year, I've discovered:
1.  Change is good.  Change can often be scary; but if things always stayed the same, they would never grow.
2.  You HAVE to be true to yourself.    Everyone has their own path, and you and only you, are responsible for yours.
3.  Age is just a number.  You're as young as you feel and you should never let your age stop you in any way.
4.  I am strong.  I have strength of character, and strength of mind. I am strong in my commitments and my values; and I am getting stronger every day.
5.  Family!  I have found cousins that I never really knew; and I am so ecstatic to have them in my life.
6.  I have made a difference. By reconnecting with some of the girls that I worked with when I was a Social worker; I now know that my efforts were appreciated; and meaningful.
7.  I have a lot left to do.  I have not nearly reached my potential, as a wife, a mom, a friend, a writer a person.
8.  Reciprocity is crucial.  Life is a two way street, and even though you may be accustomed to always being the person who does or gives; you also HAVE to let others do for you.
9.  Karma!  It's the guiding force behind (say it with me,) "The greater good."
10. It's OK to ask for what you need.  I've never really been good at this.  And I know that just because you ask for something, doesn't mean that you're going to get it; but certainly if you don't ask; you're assured not to get it.  And so, once again, I'm going to ask for your help...

This post is number 157 of 366 and number 294 for all time.  Hard to believe; I KNOW.  And as we all know; I still have a long way to go, at least to get to July 29, 2011.  So with that being said; once again I would like to take a grassroots stab at increasing my readership; and this is where you come in.  If you enjoy "The Bumpy Ride," and believe that my messages and stories are those that others would enjoy or benefit from; PLEASE share me with a friend.  I'm ASKING that you tell at least two friends about "The Bumpy Ride," in the hopes that they will join me on a regular basis and tell two more friends, etc. etc.
Now sometimes, telling someone about something isn't enough; you have to show them, SO in keeping with my Ten for 10' theme, I'm going to provide the names and links for the ten posts that I think were my best of 2010.  Then you can just forward this blog onto your friends, with suggested reading built right on; OR, you can copy and past one of the posts into an email, so they can read me for themselves; PLEASE!!

Ten For 10': 
43
Acceptance
My Something Special  
A Gift Horse Tale
The Dirty Word
What A Mom's Gotta Do
Red - A Retrospective
The Protectors
What You Choose To Believe
A Blueprint for a B.F.F


There are so many ways for people to join "The Bumpy Ride." If they visit my blog itself; they can sign up to have "The Bumpy Ride" emailed to them each time there's a new post. If they're on Facebook, they can sign up on Networkedblogs, and follow me that way; or they can sign up through Google reader. Let us not forget, they can also show their support by joining The Bumpy Ride Fan Club, on Facebook. I'm starting to feel like a bit of a broken record; BUT, if I don't ask you; then you won't know that I need your help; and boy, do I NEED your help.

Well, that's it for me. I'm so pleased with how this year has gone. Even though it hasn't always been easy; it's ALWAYS been worth it.  I'm so excited to see what 2011 holds in store for us all.  I wish you love, peace and good health.
Till next year...
Queen of EVERYTHING

                                                

(43-135) Our Tree Is Growing

As cliche as it sounds; time flies.  It really is true that the older you get, the quicker it goes.  Case in point; I can't believe that the 11th will be one month since I found my wonderful, cousin, Jackie.  The 11th will also happen to be Kelsie's seventh birthday; which is just MORE proof that time flies!

Now, if you've read "The Bumpy Ride" before; then you probably know that I fancy myself an amateur detective; AND you also know that when I want to accomplish something, NOTHING will stand in my way.  Well on November 11th, I posted "Just what I Needed," and I explained that I had found my cousin, Jackie on Facebook, while I was in pursuit of an idea for that night's blog.  You see, I have a usual list of people that I periodically try to find; and you never know when one is just going to pop up.  A couple of times I had tried to look for my cousins, Mitchell and Steven (Bubby's sons;) but I never had any luck.  Well, I put on my PI cap, and I remembered that Steven had 2 daughters (whom I'd never met;) so I tried to look them up, AND... I found them.  I looked on their friends; and I found my cousin Mitchell; and then I looked at his friends; and that lead me to Jackie; and her daughter Becky.

I sent Mitchell a message on the 11th, just as I'd done with Jackie; and on Thanksgiving I received a note from him, followed by a friend request; and then a phone call.  It was really nice to catch up with Mitchell.  Bubby is my mom's older brother, and both of his sons are older than me (Mitchell by 6 years, and Steven by 10;) so we were never that close as kids; although I spent more time with them than any of my other cousins.  Since our conversation, Mitchell and I have instant messaged a couple of times on Facebook; and I know that now that we've re-connected, we'll stay in touch.  

Just a couple of days ago, Steven popped up on Facebook; so I sent him a note and a friend request as well.  He emailed me and caught me up on his life; and then we spoke tonight.  I then sent friend requests to Steve's 3 daughters; Tiffany, Jessica and Brittany and I got to know Jessica a little bit tonight, through instant messaging.

Jessica is absolutely GORGEOUS and she has beautiful 3 year old twins, (a boy and a girl.) I asked the twins names and as it turns out, her daughter is Mackenzie Lee.  I recalled that her middle name was Lee as well; so I asked if it was and she confirmed it.  I told her that I thought she was named Lee after my mom.  She replied "Lee for Leona;" and I said "Yes; she was my mom;" and I almost cried.  She went on to say that her family always told her that she looked like her; and since I could see a resemblance and she's stunning, just like my mom was; I agreed.  I told her that yesterday would have been my mom's birthday; and I'll admit, it made me sad to say; but I was happy as well.

In my wildest dreams; if you would have told me a month ago, that I'd suddenly have a new found family; I never would have believed it.  After being on my own for so long; to suddenly have all of these people in my life, is overwhelming; but totally in a good way.  My kids are definitely confused, because it seems that every time I'm on the computer lately, I'm showing them pictures of another cousin; and our family tree is growing by leaps and bounds.

After I had explained to Jackie, why I'm writing the 43 series on my blog; she commented "Just maybe the best things in life are the "unexpected". something WONDERFUL happend to you at 43.....you found me. Now 43 will be a posiitive number...." I knew that she was right; as soon as I read it; because finding her has improved my life immensely; and it just keeps getting better and better.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING 

(43-126) Wanted At Last

I don't typically think of myself as unusual; but the other day I was watching a DVR'd episode of "The Talk," and they were discussing the fact that Rosie O'Donnell thought that she might have breast cancer.  They went on to discuss how Rosie was only ten when her mom had passed away from breast cancer; and they went on to talk about how much their own mom's meant to them.  They each said that they couldn't imagine what their wedding days would have been like had their mom's not been there; and it was at that very moment, that I thought, hmm; maybe I am a little unusual.

I absolutely hated the fact that neither of my parents (ESPECIALLY, my mom;)  could be with me (physically) on my wedding day, and even worse; it breaks my heart to know that she will never get to know my children nor will they they ever have the benefit of knowing her.  I know that she would have just adored them; and that their lives would have been all the better for having had her in it.  So, needless to say, I was a bit sad; after listening to their conversation and relating my own experiences.  But last night, not only did my cousin Jackie call me; but her Mom and dad did as well; and I felt a kinship that I have honestly, never known.

My aunt and uncle were calling to share some good news that my Uncle had gotten while at the doctor's and I was so touched that they included me.  My aunt told me that my uncle had asked her if they should call me; and she said "Of course.  She's family."  I thanked her sincerely and she told me that they loved me and that they were so happy to be in my life."  

Jackie and I spoke afterwards; and we just chattered and giggled like life long friends; and I'm certain that the smile that was in my heart, was just as big (if not bigger) than the one that was plastered across my face.  Jackie and I discussed possible visits (amongst other things;) and she welcomed my family to come to her home.  Jackie knew that we'd been considering taking a Disney trip and she told me that if we stayed at her house we could just leave very early to get down to Disney.  She then said "and I'm coming with you of course."  To which I replied, "I wouldn't have it any other way."

I'm always very excited after I talk to Jackie; because she makes me feel wanted; in a very different way than Luis and my kids do.  With the absence of my parents and my extended family; I felt very alone for many, many years; and I don't feel that way anymore.  It now seems possible that I can have a connection to the family that I lost; and maybe put some of the pieces of my ancestry back together.  After all, how can you know where you're going, if you don't know where you came from?

Jackie instant messaged me on Facebook tonight, right after I had instant messaged her daughter, Becky.  I was having fabulous chats with both of them, and couldn't help but think to myself that not so long ago, I never could have imagined that this would be possible.  I've said it before, and I'll say it again; sometimes, the universe just gives you what you need.  I waited a REALLY long time, to get what I needed; but maybe the universe knew that  my 43rd year, would be exactly when I needed my family most. 

I am overjoyed and ever so gratified by the love and positive energy that Jackie and her family are bringing into my life.  I can truly say that I am moved beyond words; and for me, that is big! (Say it with me;) HUGE! 

You know, I don't like to be all preachy about certain topics (CERTAIN topics I said;) but I am going to recommend that if you are fortunate enough to have family that make your world a better and safe place for you; give them a great, BIG, hug the next time that you see them; and let them know how blessed you feel to have them in your life; before it's too late.  Also, savor every minute and be grateful for the time you have.
Till next time..
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-110) Unexpected Happiness

This morning I had my first conversation with my cousin Jackie; since I found her on Facebook on Thursday night.  Just like I told you in "Just What I Needed," even though we're first cousins, I don't know Jackie at all.  But as soon as we were on the phone together, we chatted like we were old friends.  It was strange to speak about other family members and know that they were her relatives too.  I had to stop myself from saying MY grandmother; and just say Nana instead, because MY grandmother was also Jackie's grandmother; even though Jackie didn't really now OUR grandmother.  It was amazing to discuss other family members and know that they were people that we had in common, even though we barely knew them or each other.

Connecting with Jackie has already brought me, such unexpected happiness, and I think that I must have had a smile plastered on my face the entire time that we talked.  There was something about her voice that was so kind, comforting and loving.  And when she laughed, it sounded to me VERY much like my laugh; and she thought the same.  We spoke for at least an hour and a half, and we discovered that we had many likenesses.  Jackie asked me if my wedding bouquet was Sterling silver roses, and when I said yes; she told me that those were her favorite roses as well.   We both have made and sold jewelry as a hobby, and her youngest daughter is an avid scrapbooker.  Jackie told me that she loves to make things with her hands and do crafts; and I felt assured that we were cut from the same cloth.  We revelled in our similarities and were comforted by our commonalities.  We recognized that even though there had been years and miles between us; it's remarkable that we were so alike.  We both told each other repeatedly, how thrilled we were to have found each other.  And we concurred that we never had to long for family again; because now we have each other.

Jackie told me that her heart was now full; and I must say that this is EXACTLY how I feel.  I am exuberant, I am delighted; and I feel loved.  Jackie is the first person in my biological family who has shown any genuine concern for me in the past 20 years; and I feel blessed to have found her. 

Till next time...

Queen of EVERYTHING