(43-331) First Place

A couple of months ago I wrote a blog called "Love Gives You Courage", and I told you about this girl (who I called Brenda for the sake of the blog.)  I explained that Brenda had been very rude to Nicky and that Lyndzi had stuck up for him.  I also told you that I wasn't a fan of  Brenda's, partly because she's mean and has a phony smile, but also because she's inconsiderate and obnoxious.  I know that those are strong words to say about a child and I apologize if I seem harsh; but I don't know what other words to use to describe her behavior.  This isn't exactly something that I can consult my Thesaurus about, and when I tell you what I'm about to tell you; it may be apparent why.

I've mentioned on more than one occasion that during home swim meets, Luis and I (along with my friend Kailene) sit at the judges table and figure out what place all the swimmers come in.  Although this position can be a little stressful, we do get a front row seat for all the action and there's something to be said for that.


If you're not familiar with swim team procedure, I can tell you that we swim two different strokes and one relay, during each swim meet.  Also the kids are divided into three age groups during Lyndzi and Kelsie's meets, as well as three groups at Nicky's  meets.  We will run as many heats (races) as necessary, in order to assure that all swimmers are given the opportunity to swim.  Typically the coach will put his/her fastest swimmers in the earliest heats; so imagine my surprise when Brenda chose to swim in the fifth (out of six) heats.  I noticed that she was doing this a number of weeks ago, because Brenda is a very good swimmer and she is particularly fast; but I can't help believing that she does this so that she can come in first all the time.


My kids do swim team for the daily exercise that it provides and because they like competing.  It would be very easy for me to tell Lyndzi (for example) to wait to swim towards the end of the heats because there were weaker swimmers that she could surely beat; but I'm not about that.  Although I like when my kids do well, because it boosts their self esteem; I'm also OK if they come in dead last as long as they tried their best and had a good time.  Coming in first EVERY time is not going to prepare "Brenda" for the reality of life.  And truth be told, it's not the placing that counts; it's actually your times.  My feeling is that 1. Brenda needs to let the girls in the later heats, compete against each other and let some of them enjoy success.
2. Brenda needs to challenge herself and compete against people whose aptitude for swim is more similar to hers.  And lastly, she needs to learn that it's OK not to come in first all of the time. 


There are very few if any, individuals who come in first each and every time they do something; so I think Brenda needs a lil dose of reality.  And she needs to learn what it means to play fair and be a good sport. 


We couldn't help but discuss Brenda during the meet, because it was obvious to every one that she intentionally swam in a less competitive heat, so that she could come in first and even though this is a recreational swim team, it was inappropriate to do so.


I find it very sad that coming in first is so important to Brenda and yet I know that there are a lot of other people out there like that.  It seems to me that Brenda is basing her self-esteem on how well she does in a swim meet, but she's doing herself a great disservice.  And as someone who loves children, I find this disturbing.  Apparently Brenda's parents don't have a problem with what she's doing and if I took a wild guess, that's probably because coming in first is the only thing that matters to them, no matter the means.


I hope that my children know that just like they're not a 4.0 or an award winning painting or a first place ribbon; it's the process that counts, and you should be proud of yourself regardless of your place or time.  If you believe that you tried your best and you enjoyed yourself while trying; that's a greater prize than any ribbon.
Till next time,,,
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-272) Four Weeks And Counting...

As I was packing the kid's lunches this morning, I glanced over to the dry erase calendar that we keep on our fridge; and then advised Nicky that his birthday was three weeks from today.  I followed this announcement up by broadcasting that they would be done with school in just four weeks.  WOOHOO!!  And I did say THAT too.

I know that a lot of parents don't like having their kids home for the summer; but I REALLY look forward to it.  I like to spend as much time with them as possible; and I sadly recognize that it won't be long before they don't want to spend as much time with me.  

After dropping the kids at school this morning, I went to register them for Swim team.     Another sign that summer is just around the corner; and I can't wait.  I know that I've said it many times, but it's just amazing to me how quickly time flies by.  It seems like just a couple of years ago that I gave birth to Nicky, and yet he'll turn twelve on May 16.  All  I can say is that if you have children, young ones in particular; enjoy each and EVERY minute, because the little things that annoy you now, will seem like nothing as they get older and their problems get bigger.  When they're little it's so easy to plan EVERYTHING for them.  What they'll eat, what they'll wear, when they'll sleep, who they'll play with etc. etc. and as they get older they make more and more of these decisions for themselves; and not always successfully.

Yes, I'm counting down the days until the end of the school year and the beginning of our family time.  My favorite time!
Til next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-251) Right Around The Corner

My kid's started their swim team prep tonight; and I couldn't be happier, because that means that summer vacation is right around the corner.  It was so great to see them in their swimsuits, goggles and towels in tow.  And once they got to the pool, I felt like we were home.

This will be Nicky and Lyndzi's fourth year on the swim team and Kelsie's third; and I have to say that in some ways, I enjoy watching them swim, even more than I like to watch them play soccer; if you can believe that.  Maybe it's because even though they're on a team; unless they are competing in a relay, their success depends solely on themselves.  If Lyndzi for argument sake wins a first place ribbon, it's because of her own hard work and no one elses; and I think that is very gratifying for them.  The same may be said if one of the kid's wins a fifth or sixth place ribbon for example.  They and only they can take responsibility for the outcome of their race and they can choose to work on improving or be content with where their effort has gotten them.  What a great learning experience.

I know that some Mom's don't like having their kids home all summer, but I relish every minute of it.  I like seeing my kids all day, and hearing their voices while I'm working, and knowing that I can hug or kiss them whenever I want.  I get great pleasure watching them swim their laps and hang out at the pool with their friends, while they wait for their siblings lessons to begin or conclude.  I love to watch them compete and cheer them on every step of the way.  I can't wait to have the time to travel around leisurely.  We want to camp, and go to the beach.  We plan to visit my cousin Jackie; and our other California friends; then  of course there's our Wet 'n' Wild season passes, not to mention my impending birthday and trip to New York.  

Yes my favorite season is right around the corner and I am giddy with anticipation; but I'll put my excitement on hold for just a moment, so that I can share some info for (say it with me,)  "The GREATER Good."  If you live in the City of Peoria (AZ that is,) and you're not aware of the swim team program, I'm going to tell you a little about it.  The City of Peoria has four swim teams, Two at Centennial HS (The Sea Turtles who practice in the morning and the Stingrays who practice in the evenings.)  The Pirhanas are based at Peoria HS and the Sharks are the Sunrise HS team.  Practice begins on Monday, May 23.  They typically practice Mon thru Wed and have meets on the fourth day.  Meets are either Thursday afternoon / evening, Friday  afternoon / evening or Saturday morning.  Swim team typically ends around July 15 and costs $80 per child.  They don't require you to buy a team swim suit, but they recommend that you buy something similar.  Right now they're offering swim team prep which is conditioning.  The classes run Mon-Thurs for two week sessions.  Children under 8 practice for a 1/2 hour and 9 and older practice for 45 minutes.  The cost is only $18 per child for the 8 classes, and they begin a new session every two weeks between now and the middle of May.  If you think that your child may be interested in participating on one of the swim teams, the prep is a great introduction, because they will swim as much as they do at practice, and get a good taste of what it will be like.

I'm counting down the days, in more ways than one.  Just 15 more blogs to reach 266, and after that I'll have just 100 to go.  That sounds like a crazy number when I say it, but considering how far I've come, it's a mere drop in the bucket.  Once I get past post 266, I'll be counting down the days to Nicky's twelfth birthday, and the kid's last day of school.  Then counting down the days until our pending July 4th trip to California, and shortly thereafter, my 44th birthday and my New York homecoming.  Much to look forward to and even more to be thankful for.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

I Think I'm Someone's Newman

I am the Queen of OVER COMMITTING MYSELF. The Queen of CRAMMING AS MANY ACTIVITIES INTO ONE DAY AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE, The Queen of GETTING INVOLVED, The Queen of GO-GO-GO -
OK, The Queen of EVERYTHING.

When I registered Nicky and Lyndzi for the swim team last summer; you had to agree to volunteer at one meet per season (per child;) so I was prepared to help by giving out ribbons, or being a timer; or whatever they needed. But, then it happened... Shannon (The Head coach,) who also happened to have been Nicky's second grade teacher AND a friend of mine; put up a sign that she needed a volunteer to announce the home meets. "Volunteer" ughh; that's my kryptonite. I have such a hard time ignoring a call for help - let alone from a friend. So, you all know what I did. That's right; " I volunteered." But, I did tell Shannon that I'd do it "if" she couldn't find someone else. And guess what - she found someone else; BUT she still needed me. Oh yes; she had a VERY special (and by special I mean nerve racking) job for me. I was going to be an officiant. I was going to sit at the table with the announcer and determine which order the kids placed in and record it - OY- The Pressure! But I don't back down from a challenge. I met the task head on; and by the second meet I had recruited Luis to help me, (because we really needed another pair of eyes.)
Now we were all set; Dave (or as Luis liked to call him; "Loud Guy,") me, and Luis were the efficient officiants for the kid's swim team.

Everything was going well for the efficient officiants until one HOT Thursday when DURING the meet , this young, thin, overly blond, woman approached our table; (I knew who this woman was because her son had just been in Kelsie's pre-school class.) and said "My daughter came in first and they gave her a second place ribbon." Through our conversation with her (which by the way was taking place while we were supposed to be watching another race;) we determined that her daughter had swam in a relay. So the 3 of us explained that although her daughter may have finished first; her lane must have finished second. She of course disputed this; which really was pointless because if she would have told Shannon; I know that Shannon would have just given her a first place ribbon; but NO - she just went on and on ; say it with me "While we were supposed to be watching another race." She finally gave up and went away; but she had the 3 of us so shaken up; that we were second guessing ourselves for the rest of the afternoon - so much so that "Loud Guy" even had to announce at one point that we had made a mistake on one call and re-announce the results for that race - which I'm sure just convinced her EVEN MORE that we had made a mistake in her 6 year old daughter's race.

When I saw Shannon I told her what had happened and how horrible this woman was; and she knew EXACTLY who I was talking about before I even pointed her out; and she told me what a nightmare this woman and her kids were. As it turns out, by the end of the meet she had yelled at me, Luis, Loud Guy and 2 of the coaches. Shannon urged me not to give this woman a second thought and informed me that Luis and I were now committed to these positions for as long as our kids are on the swim team. Guess how happy Luis is. - LOL

So swim team ends and back to school we go. Thankfully her son is not in Kelsie's class this year, and when we see each other, neither of us says a thing; although her son says hello to Kelsie, each and EVERY time we see them.

At the end of last soccer season I was recruited to join the board; so I did. Why? Because I have a problem - but we've already established this. I then in turn, recruited Michelle (...)k and we are now respectively the U-14 and U-6 division reps for our kid's soccer.

One evening we were working at registration and who do you think walked through the door? If you're guessing "nightmare woman; " you're right. She saw me sitting at the registration table and she kinda took a step back. You just know that she had to be thinking "What's with this god damned woman? Every where I go; there she is. I'm at swim team - she's officiating the race (not that I think she knows that word;) I go to register for soccer, she's taking the registration - what a freakin nightmare." Anyway, as fate would have it, I was the next board member available, so lucky me - she was ALL MINE. I was VERY polite and tried to help her; because she had a series of problems. First - no birth certificate for one of the kids (and of course - we REQUIRE one.) I spoke to the registrar (because I was sitting right next to her and I told "Nightmare woman" that she could get a copy and just give it to me at school. (How nice was that?) But wait - there's more. Her next problem (which she didn't even know she had;) was that her son (the one who goes to school with Kelsie) was too young to play. Of course I had to be the one to inform her of this. So I asked the registrar if he could play, and she said "Only if there is a coach who's willing to take him." So I said to "NW" "We can let you register him and if we can't find a coach who will take him; we'll refund your money for him - Is that OK?" She said "yes;" but went on to ask if Kelsie played. I said "yes" but explained that her birthday is before the cutoff. I must have re-iterated the terms and conditions of this registration a good 3 times; just to make sure that there were no misunderstandings. I was NICE. I mean Boy, was I NICE. And then as soon as she left, Jill (the registrar) said "No way in hell am I looking for a coach for her younger son because that woman and her kids are nightmares. I sense a theme here. This woman really has SOME reputation.

One morning, a few weeks ago, I was signing Kelsie in at pre-school and her teacher started venting to me about people who don't follow the rules. Well, you know she didn't mean me; because I am the Queen of FOLLOWING THE RULES. I think she just told me because she is familiar with me since she had been Lyndzi's teacher too. Either that or it's just because people just tend to tell me stuff. I don't know which; but nonetheless I didn't give it a any thought.

When I went to pick Kelsie up, her teacher started talking to me and then excused herself as she looked past me and said (in a harsh voice) "So and So, did you get my message?" I turned around as So and So started talking (I think that's human nature; or maybe I'm just a nosy bitch;) and I don't know why I was surprised, but So and So was none other than NIGHTMARE WOMAN. (I was giddy.) When the teacher started talking to me again I said "Is that who you were talking about this morning?" and she vehemently nodded YES. It was at this point that I knew; she is the most hated woman in Peoria; and I am her Newman. Remember Newman on Seinfeld? He was Jerry's nemesis and every time Jerry said "Hello Newman," he said it with such disdain. Well; I'm So and so's Newman - Everywhere she shows up; there I am - and no matter what she's doing; I'm doing more. First swim team, then soccer, now she has a problem with the staff at the school and I'm the witness. I'm probably the last person that she wants to see ANYWHERE. So, I bet it came as no surprise when she got to the fall performance at the pre-school and saw Kelsie's name in the program. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree ya know. We're just a family of Do-ers.

Perhaps next time I run into her (And you KNOW there will be a next time;) I'll just say (in my best Seinfeldesque tone) "Hello So and So;" to which I'm sure she'll respond "Hello Newman." Or more than likely - she'll say nothing at all; but her son will say "Hi" to Kelsie.

Till next time...

Queen of EVERYTHING