(43-352) ALWAYS In Their Corner

If I had a nickel for every time I've said "time flies" during the course of writing "The Bumpy Ride"... BUT it's true, it does; and the fact that swim team is already concluding this week is just more proof of it.

It seems like just yesterday that my kids were starting swim team prep.  Remember I wrote "Love Gives You Courage" and I told you about that horrible, girl "Brenda"?  Then school ended and I was so looking forward to our summer and our swim meets.  I told you about sitting at the judges table, and how "awful, Brenda" was putting herself in races with slower swimmers so that she could come in "first place."  What I didn't tell you, was that this was not the best swim season, by a long shot - for either of my girls.

It's not that I didn't tell you because I was ashamed or embarrassed about how they were doing.  It's was just that there wasn't a whole lotta story there at the time.  I mean they each had a couple of good races; but something was different this summer, for the both of them, and ultimately neither was as successful as they had been in seasons past.  I kept telling them that it didn't matter what place they came in, as long as they were having fun; but what can  I say, they're their mother's daughters and hence they are competitive by nature. (Lyndzi more so than Kelsie.)

Ultimately it wasn't the best meet for Lyndzi or Kelsie, but they did have a couple of really good races.  Lyndzi got 2nd place for her Freestyle, 4th place for her Butterfly and 8th place for Backstroke.  Kelsie got 3rd place for Breaststroke, 6th place for Backstroke and 7th place for Freestyle.  Tomorrow it's Nicky's turn and interestingly enough, he's been having a phenomenal season, but I digress.

As a parent who is always looking for the lesson that can be learned, I wanted to reinforce the idea that as long as they tried their hardest and had a good time doing it; what place they came in was irrelevant to us.  I would rather have them come in last and have really tried, than to come in first because they were swimming against kids with less aptitude.  I told them that I would cheer them on whether they were come in second or seventh place because they're my kids and I'm ALWAYS in their corner.  Besides, if you usually come in first, I don't think that you appreciate it as much as if you've had a couple of eighth's and fifth's  throughout the season.  To truly appreciate the splendor of first place, you have to know what it's like to be in the other places as well.

I am very proud of my girls for the commitment that they made to swim team and for the effort that they put forth.  It is my pleasure to watch them swim and compete regardless of the outcome.  I am sad that swim team is over for the summer, but I look forward to the extra time it will give us together.
Till next time...
Queen of Everything

(43-331) First Place

A couple of months ago I wrote a blog called "Love Gives You Courage", and I told you about this girl (who I called Brenda for the sake of the blog.)  I explained that Brenda had been very rude to Nicky and that Lyndzi had stuck up for him.  I also told you that I wasn't a fan of  Brenda's, partly because she's mean and has a phony smile, but also because she's inconsiderate and obnoxious.  I know that those are strong words to say about a child and I apologize if I seem harsh; but I don't know what other words to use to describe her behavior.  This isn't exactly something that I can consult my Thesaurus about, and when I tell you what I'm about to tell you; it may be apparent why.

I've mentioned on more than one occasion that during home swim meets, Luis and I (along with my friend Kailene) sit at the judges table and figure out what place all the swimmers come in.  Although this position can be a little stressful, we do get a front row seat for all the action and there's something to be said for that.


If you're not familiar with swim team procedure, I can tell you that we swim two different strokes and one relay, during each swim meet.  Also the kids are divided into three age groups during Lyndzi and Kelsie's meets, as well as three groups at Nicky's  meets.  We will run as many heats (races) as necessary, in order to assure that all swimmers are given the opportunity to swim.  Typically the coach will put his/her fastest swimmers in the earliest heats; so imagine my surprise when Brenda chose to swim in the fifth (out of six) heats.  I noticed that she was doing this a number of weeks ago, because Brenda is a very good swimmer and she is particularly fast; but I can't help believing that she does this so that she can come in first all the time.


My kids do swim team for the daily exercise that it provides and because they like competing.  It would be very easy for me to tell Lyndzi (for example) to wait to swim towards the end of the heats because there were weaker swimmers that she could surely beat; but I'm not about that.  Although I like when my kids do well, because it boosts their self esteem; I'm also OK if they come in dead last as long as they tried their best and had a good time.  Coming in first EVERY time is not going to prepare "Brenda" for the reality of life.  And truth be told, it's not the placing that counts; it's actually your times.  My feeling is that 1. Brenda needs to let the girls in the later heats, compete against each other and let some of them enjoy success.
2. Brenda needs to challenge herself and compete against people whose aptitude for swim is more similar to hers.  And lastly, she needs to learn that it's OK not to come in first all of the time. 


There are very few if any, individuals who come in first each and every time they do something; so I think Brenda needs a lil dose of reality.  And she needs to learn what it means to play fair and be a good sport. 


We couldn't help but discuss Brenda during the meet, because it was obvious to every one that she intentionally swam in a less competitive heat, so that she could come in first and even though this is a recreational swim team, it was inappropriate to do so.


I find it very sad that coming in first is so important to Brenda and yet I know that there are a lot of other people out there like that.  It seems to me that Brenda is basing her self-esteem on how well she does in a swim meet, but she's doing herself a great disservice.  And as someone who loves children, I find this disturbing.  Apparently Brenda's parents don't have a problem with what she's doing and if I took a wild guess, that's probably because coming in first is the only thing that matters to them, no matter the means.


I hope that my children know that just like they're not a 4.0 or an award winning painting or a first place ribbon; it's the process that counts, and you should be proud of yourself regardless of your place or time.  If you believe that you tried your best and you enjoyed yourself while trying; that's a greater prize than any ribbon.
Till next time,,,
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-266) 100 To Go!

Big fan of continuity that I am, on this auspicious occasion, I feel compelled to say, "Milestone, Milestone, who's reached a milestone?" "It's me! It's me!" "Milestone, Milestone who's reached a Milestone?"  "It's me, It's me!" "Uh-huh, uh-huh, Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh!" "100  to go!"     

Yes, today is the day that I have been striving towards for weeks.  I have now been 43 for  266 days and I am delighted to report that all is well and I'm still going strong.  Additionally,  I've now written 266 consecutive blogs; which means that in just 100 days, I will be 44 years old, my daily blog will be concluded and Lyndzi, Jackie and I will be on our way to New York.  I can't wait, on all three accounts!!
 
Although I REALLY wanted to write about John Travolta's appearance on "Dancing With The Stars" last night; I felt obligated to share something a bit more personal today.  I thought that it would be appropriate to tell you a few of the things that I've learned in the past 266 days, since when I first wrote "43" I said that I planned to write about things that I learned, enjoyed, or recalled. One of  THE most important things that I've discovered thus far, is that you need to take your happiness wherever and whenever you find it.  Rejoice in all things that give you pleasure, even if it's something small.  So since John Travolta makes me SO happy, and I enjoy him thoroughly, I've concluded that it makes perfect sense to write about him tonight after all.

Now if this isn't your first time at this rodeo, than y'all know I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Maksim Chmerkovskiy (dancing pro) on "Dancing With The Stars," and I'm also a big fan of his partnership with Kirstie Alley this season.   You may also recall that on a number of occasions, I've mentioned that John Travolta is my favorite actor.  So imagine my sheer delight when John Travolta popped up on "DWTS" last night, because Kirstie felt that she and Maks needed the aid of "The Dance Doctor."  WOOHOO!  I felt myself smile from ear to ear when JT popped in.  Now JT didn't dance, he just gave Kirstie and Maks a lil coaxing and encouragement; but nonetheless, it was a pleasure to see him.  I knew right then and there that I wanted to write about how giddy his appearance made me; and I started to reflect on why I adore him.  I considered this "Dance Doctor" title and realized that I could think of no other actor of our time that has danced in as many movies as John Travolta has.  I'll state the obvious, "Saturday Night Fever."  Then he sang AND danced in "Grease."   There was "Staying Alive,"  then he two stepped in "Urban Cowboy," heck he even danced in "Pulp Fiction," and strutted his stuff briefly, in "Michael," and I have to give him double props for dancing as an overweight woman, in "Hairspray."   Other than "Staying Alive," I loved all of these movies, and even the ones that he hasn't hoofed it in.
Yes, seeing John Travolta on "DWTS" last night, was a perfect example of how easy it can be to get happy; and I think that we need to be thankful for all things big and small that put a smile on our faces and make life a little sweeter.

I am so thrilled that I've been able to live up to my commitment, despite the many times that I didn't think that I could.  I know that I'm in the home stretch now; and instead of fearing the 100 posts that I have yet to write; I'm going to embrace the challenge and push myself to make these next 100 blogs the best that I've ever written. 

Thank you so much for taking this journey with me.  As always I welcome your ideas for new posts and your feedback. 
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING       

(43-157) Ten For 10'

If I had to choose a word to represent MY 2010; without a doubt, it would have to be DISCOVERY.  This past year I have learned so much about myself, my family, my friends, and life in general.  Although I've frequently written about my discoveries on "The Bumpy Ride," since this is the end of the year; I would like to share TEN of my most important discoveries with you.

This year, I've discovered:
1.  Change is good.  Change can often be scary; but if things always stayed the same, they would never grow.
2.  You HAVE to be true to yourself.    Everyone has their own path, and you and only you, are responsible for yours.
3.  Age is just a number.  You're as young as you feel and you should never let your age stop you in any way.
4.  I am strong.  I have strength of character, and strength of mind. I am strong in my commitments and my values; and I am getting stronger every day.
5.  Family!  I have found cousins that I never really knew; and I am so ecstatic to have them in my life.
6.  I have made a difference. By reconnecting with some of the girls that I worked with when I was a Social worker; I now know that my efforts were appreciated; and meaningful.
7.  I have a lot left to do.  I have not nearly reached my potential, as a wife, a mom, a friend, a writer a person.
8.  Reciprocity is crucial.  Life is a two way street, and even though you may be accustomed to always being the person who does or gives; you also HAVE to let others do for you.
9.  Karma!  It's the guiding force behind (say it with me,) "The greater good."
10. It's OK to ask for what you need.  I've never really been good at this.  And I know that just because you ask for something, doesn't mean that you're going to get it; but certainly if you don't ask; you're assured not to get it.  And so, once again, I'm going to ask for your help...

This post is number 157 of 366 and number 294 for all time.  Hard to believe; I KNOW.  And as we all know; I still have a long way to go, at least to get to July 29, 2011.  So with that being said; once again I would like to take a grassroots stab at increasing my readership; and this is where you come in.  If you enjoy "The Bumpy Ride," and believe that my messages and stories are those that others would enjoy or benefit from; PLEASE share me with a friend.  I'm ASKING that you tell at least two friends about "The Bumpy Ride," in the hopes that they will join me on a regular basis and tell two more friends, etc. etc.
Now sometimes, telling someone about something isn't enough; you have to show them, SO in keeping with my Ten for 10' theme, I'm going to provide the names and links for the ten posts that I think were my best of 2010.  Then you can just forward this blog onto your friends, with suggested reading built right on; OR, you can copy and past one of the posts into an email, so they can read me for themselves; PLEASE!!

Ten For 10': 
43
Acceptance
My Something Special  
A Gift Horse Tale
The Dirty Word
What A Mom's Gotta Do
Red - A Retrospective
The Protectors
What You Choose To Believe
A Blueprint for a B.F.F


There are so many ways for people to join "The Bumpy Ride." If they visit my blog itself; they can sign up to have "The Bumpy Ride" emailed to them each time there's a new post. If they're on Facebook, they can sign up on Networkedblogs, and follow me that way; or they can sign up through Google reader. Let us not forget, they can also show their support by joining The Bumpy Ride Fan Club, on Facebook. I'm starting to feel like a bit of a broken record; BUT, if I don't ask you; then you won't know that I need your help; and boy, do I NEED your help.

Well, that's it for me. I'm so pleased with how this year has gone. Even though it hasn't always been easy; it's ALWAYS been worth it.  I'm so excited to see what 2011 holds in store for us all.  I wish you love, peace and good health.
Till next year...
Queen of EVERYTHING

                                                

(43-103) Nothing Much

Just a typical Sunday here at the Ramos household.  I slept in till 8, (well, that's sleeping in for me, since I'm up for work at 445.)  I had coffee, looked through the supermarket flyers, made a grocery list (which of course I left home when I went to the store.)  I did three loads of laundry and loaded the dishwasher; and in the process I got a terrible spasm in my back.  What the heck?  Thankfully I've never had back problems; but this spasm was a doozie!!  I get spasms in my calves from time to time, but usually when I'm sleeping; but to get this out of the blue back spasm; now THAT was unexpected.

Because I'm a trooper, with a high tolerance for pain; I toughed it out and took the girls to Kohl's.  We got a couple of great deals for them; went home for lunch, and then Lyndzi and I headed to our second Kohl's of the day, because there was a shirt that she was after but they didn't have her size at our first store; AND I needed to get a pair of pants for Kels and they were out of her size at the first store too.

I came home, folded some laundry; and then Luis and I went to Fry's.  I got some more great deals, used the Albertson's $10 off a $100 purchase coupon, and then they had a $10 coupon of their own that I didn't know about, but my checker applied.  I stocked up on toothpaste, butter and water; which brought me an additional savings.  And for anyone who's interested; they do have Capri Sun on sale again for $1.49   When all was said and done, I had saved about $76 dollars; Luis was quite impressed, and so I was doubly happy.

Yup, just pretty run of the mill here for me; but sometimes run of the mill is OK.  I'd take run of the mill over drama ANY DAY.  To me, if you have a day when nothing goes wrong; then it's a good day.  I remember a couple of months after I'd gotten married and we were living in Orlando; I was talking to a friend who was  single and living in New York.  My friend asked what was new; I said "nothing much," and she seemed very disappointed.  I explained that nothing being new was definitely better than something being wrong.  We spoke a lot less frequently after this and our conversations were very different because I didn't have stories of going out and meeting people like she did; but I had happiness and contentment, which was all I ever wanted. 

I have to laugh at the "kids" that I see who are in such a rush to grow up.  They want to accelerate everything in their life; and I want to say "would you like to pay my credit card bill, because here's where growing up gets ya."  And of course I remember how it was as a kid and you fantasized about having a boyfriend, or a husband and a house of your own; and now I'm here; and really it is great; but so were the other parts of my life too.  I loved high school, had a great time in college and my early twenties were a blast; but I think that it's all of these experiences accumulated together that allow me to enjoy and treasure exactly where I am now; having a run of the mill, nothing exciting to report Sunday.  If you rush through all of your experiences, then you'll never be able to appreciate your life..  So my advice to everyone who's in a rush is; stop and smell the roses.  Take the good with the bad, and know that in the long run, each experience is going to make you who you are.  If I'd never had a bad relationship with a boyfriend or a friend; then I wouldn't be able to appreciate how blessed I am to have the husband that I do; or the friends that I cherish.  Here's another big lesson; NOT everyone is for EVERYONE.  Find friends who are like you and remember that quality is a lot more important than quantity; in every aspect of your life.  OK, not quite sure how I got on this soapbox, and I think that it's time for me to get down.  I wish you a peaceful week, with nothing much going on.                                                   

Till next time...

Queen of EVERYTHING