(43-312) Where The Ride Takes You...

Even though I am the Queen of INDECISION when it comes to trivial, insignificant things, (like what to have for dinner), when it comes to big life decisions, I can handle them without any hesitation whatsoever.  I'm pretty sure that I've acknowledged this a time or six before, but I just thought that I'd mention it again, in case you'd forgotten or by some chance were a new Rider. Anyway, I'm actually a little surprised at myself, because when it came to making the decision to blog every day plus one for a year, there were so many things that I didn't consider.  I apologize, because it's definitely likely that I've mentioned this before, but as I couldn't find evidence of where, in my archive; I'm just gonna forge ahead at the risk of being redundant.

I suppose that I can say that I thought that the end would justify the means and that no matter what I'd have to do to get the blog done every day, it would be worth it. And I can say that I do believe this is true; BUT, perhaps I should have considered the time commitment a little bit more before plunging right in. I might have thought of how I was going to have to fit writing "The Ride" into each and every day, regardless of if I had to be somewhere, was going to come home late, didn't feel well, didn't have anything important or interesting to share, etc. etc. etc. In the past 312 days, I've managed to write a blog while I was in Las Vegas, Laughlin, and California. I got up extra early, so I could write a post the day that I was going to Disneyland, I've written while at Michelle' M's for a couple of barbecues, from the lake, while at the drive-in, and even from my friend Mari's house during a scrapbooking crop. I've blogged while at the Dentist's office and the Orthodontist's and next weekend I'll have to find a way to blog and publish while I'm camping in Payson. Truly, these were obstacles that I hadn't considered; but I'm proud to say that  I've overcome.

I guess it's true, if something was easy, every one would do it. And at least I can say that I rose to the challenge. I honored my commitment and I am a better person (and hopefully, a better writer) because of it. I have learned a lot about myself, and about others. I've gained insight, perspective, and appreciation. I may never be a paid writer, but knowing that there are people who enjoy what I share, is payment enough.
As always, I thank you for the time that you take when joining me on "The Bumpy Ride." And I'm really looking forward to sharing my next 54 days with you.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-20) What A Mom's Gotta Do...

During my big thank you talk with my kids yesterday, I compared how I feel when I'm writing to how Lyndzi feels when she's drawing.  I think that I MAY have mentioned before that my Lyndzi is an absolutely BRILLIANT artist; and yes, I know that most moms think that their kids are great at one thing or another; but trust me when I tell you, my girl's got TALENT!!  Lyndzi is a multi-faceted artist - not only can she draw; she also sculpts and paints.  Lyndzi pays exceptional attention to detail and her vision is way beyond her years.   She's won prizes for her artwork and been featured in our school district art show; and at the tender age of 8 she PRIDES herself on being an artist.

When Lyndzi was 5, I wanted to collaborate with her on a children's book.  I had her do a couple of drawings but we never seemed to get it off the ground.  Since we were talking about our artistic passions yesterday, I proposed that Lyndzi might draw some pictures for me to use on my blog from time to time.  Lyndzi really liked this idea; and though I thought that I had made it clear that I didn't know EXACTLY what I was going to have her draw or when; apparently I was mistaken.  When Lyndzi got home from school, she told me that she had told her teacher that she was going to draw some pictures for my blog today and she was VERY excited.  Not wanting to let her down; I explained that I wasn't sure what I was going to blog about today, so I asked her to draw me a picture of me with a crown on my head; since I am The Queen of EVERYTHING.

When I got home from running some errands; Lyndzi presented me with her picture, and although it was quite good; it wasn't what I had asked her for.  Lyndzi was visibly upset and I tried to comfort her; but she needed some time.  She continued to draw until dinner and when we were done eating, she asked if she could talk to me in private.  Lyndzi shared that she had REALLY wanted to draw a picture for my blog and that she was sad that I wasn't going to use any of the drawings that she'd done earlier.  Lyndzi spoke openly and with a maturity that surprised me; so I wanted to address her disappointment with the same amount of honesty and sensitivity that she displayed.  I told Lyndzi that now that I'm writing my blog everyday I'm never really sure what I'm going to write about unless I have some crazy story to tell; so it made it difficult for me to ask for drawings ahead of time.  I explained that she had misunderstood my request and that even though I REALLY want us to work together SOMETIME; I wasn't sure exactly when we would.  Lyndzi's eyes filled with tears and I felt terrible; so even though I'm a writer, first and foremost I'm a mom - so I decided to put my other blog ideas aside for today, in order so that I could incorporate Lyndzi's picture into my post.
I told Lyndzi that she could draw whatever she wanted; but she just put far too much pressure on herself and she was unable to create anything that either of us felt I should use.  The situation worsened as bed time approached and she hadn't completed a drawing for me.  Lyndzi (who is not typically a crier) cried for the second time tonight and her sobs were heartbreaking.  Lyndzi was upset because she thought that her teacher was expecting to see her picture on my blog, and because I had spent my evening writing a blog about her and her art and I now had no art to share.  She knew that it had gotten too late to do another drawing and that the entire situation had turned into something uncomfortable and unpleasant.  And then she uttered the words that I've more or less been saying to myself for days; "I didn't know that something that was fun could be this hard."   The difference is that I'm 43 and she's 8; and I can take the pressure because I chose it; and IT'S WHAT I WANT; so for now I'm going to do what any good mom would do and tell you how much I LOVE my daughter and how I don't regret writing this post about her fantastic art while I have nothing to back up my claim.  Oh trust me; Lyndzi's artwork WILL appear on future blogs when it's the art that she produces from her heart and her soul and it's bursting off the page.  In the meantime we'll just chalk this one up to a typical day in the life.  To a mom doing what a mom's gotta do...
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING