Loose Ends

Hello riders, I'm baaaacccckkk and I can assure that I haven't absconded with Mari's beautiful BELIEVE charm; nor should you attribute my absence to my sulking over the mere two entries in my first EVER give away attempt (because I certainly wasn't.)  AND based on that almost inexcusable run on sentence, you can probably tell that I'm ready to start writing again and  I promise that I'm gonna do my best to make "The Bumpy Ride" better than ever! 

So first things first... I'd like to congratulate Bernice, as she is the winner of Mari's incredible, inspiration charm.  I apologize for my delay in posting this announcement, but I have found that writing my blog is very much like going to the gym - once I don't do it for a couple of days, it becomes easier and easier to put off.  Although I don't feel good about admitting that or doing it; so I'm going to make an extremely conscious effort to resume both regularly.

If this isn't your first time at this rodeo, then  I'm sure that you can't believe that I'm starting my third paragraph and I have yet to mention my birthday OR my trip to New York; so I'll say this - in a word, it was AMAZING!  AND this -  I plan to write about my trip extensively and include many pictures; but I'm going to break the trip up into several posts - so please stay tuned...

There are few things in this life that I like better than vacation; but getting back into your routine AFTER a trip is exhausting.  I've had a ridiculous amount of work at my job, I'm sadly trying to get my kids ready to go back to school on Monday, I've been helping DJ Louie V choose songs for the '81 reunion that he's DJaying tonight AND I've been in pursuit of a new background for "The Bumpy Ride", because I feel like I wanna give it a fresh new look for my brand new year.  SO with that bein' said, I would GREATLY appreciate any recommendations of sites with free blog backgrounds.  I'm lookin for somethin vintage-y or scrapbook-ish so if you know of a site that you think I should check out, PLEASE lemme know.
   
Once my blog has been redecorated I'll be back again and raring to go.  I'm thinking that I'll try to write a minimum of once a week, and use some of my other time to get my work seen by more than just my five readers.  And in the interest of (say it with me) "The Greater Good", I have to say that it would be very easy for me to feel dejected and disappointed in the lack of response to my contest, BUT I'm choosing not  going to waste my time feeling that way.  After all, to quote Victor Kiam, "‎"Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward." 
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

44!

Today I am 44, and other then when I said "I do" to Luis, or "Hi, I'm your Mama" for the first time to Nicky, then  Lyndzi, then Kelsie - there have been never been words that I wanted to say more. 

When I posted "100 Random Things About Me"  # 14 was "My parents and paternal Grandfather all died at the age of 43 and that WON'T be me."  I firmly believed that when I wrote it, and so upon my 43rd birthday I decided to challenge myself and write my blog every day for the year plus my 44th birthday.  I liked the idea of taking the opportunity to make something terrific out of something terrifying; and, if you've been following me for a while, then you know that last night "I Did It" and I wrote the final post of my 43rd year.

So here we are; I'm sure that you're wondering what more I could possibly have to say after 365 consecutive posts; but you knowme,  I'm a giver and I like to spread my happiness so I had to come back and celebrate my victory with you.

I've received more well wishes and congratulations for my birthday and my blog, than I could have ever imagined and I feel truly blessed.  So in honor of my birthday, I've decided that I'm going to give a gift to one lucky rider.  Yes, for the first time EVER on "The Bumpy Ride", I'm doin a giveaway and I hope that you will all participate and SPREAD THE WORD!

You may recall that when I posted "ASPIRE" I told you that my incredibly, talented friend Mari had been making what I called "inspiration charms", and she graciously offered to make me one and ASPIRE was my word.  Well Mari's thoughtfulness and generosity didn't end there, because she has now donated one of her beautiful necklaces.for me to give as a gift to one of you.  Mari asked me to select the word for the necklace and I chose one that I feel encompasses the message that I've been trying to impart throughout "The Bumpy Ride" - BELIEVE!  

Yes my friends, this stunning, handmade, original necklace can be yours, if you leave me a comment.  Now being that I am the Queen of FOLLOWING THE RULES , ya gotta know that there are a couple, so here we go:

1.   In order to win you must follow "The Bumpy Ride" so if you're not already signed up; please do so, because I would hate for you to miss this fabulous opportunity.

2.  Leave your comment with the name of your three favorite posts (BUT they can't be any that were mentioned in this blog.)

3.  Because I know that it will take a while to meander around my previous posts, the deadline for comments will be August 5.  Take your time, look around, read an old favorite or try something that you may have missed.  

New riders are absolutely eligible to win as long as they sign up to follow, so in the interest of (say it with me) the GREATER GOOD; please make sure to to refer your friends to "The Bumpy Ride."

I'm really excited about giving this gift away, and ALL that this new year has in store for me.  Lyndzi and I will be taking the red eye to New York tonight and I can't wait to come back and share all of my Big Apple adventures and reunions with you.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-365) I Did It!

In honor of this auspicious occasion, I can think of nothing more appropriate than to quote Dora the explorer and say "I did it, I did it, I did it - HURRAY!  Ya I did it!" I know that Dora says "we" not "I", but my monkey sidekick had nothing to do with writing "The Bumpy Ride" for 365 consecutive days, so I hope you'll permit me some creative license on that one.

When I wrote "43" on July 28, 2010, I said that I was committing to write EVERY day for a year PLUS my 44th birthday, so in fact my journey is not quite over; but I think that since this is the last night of my 43rd year it's appropriate for me to review all that I've learned during this excruciating endeavor so that tomorrow I can make a fresh start on a brand new year and the rest of my life. 

To quote myself in "43", "I believe this needs to be a year of recollection, reflection, observation, appreciation, and change; and I plan to do this right before your very eyes."  And, I'm delighted to say that I believe I have.  I've taken you on many walks down my memory lane.  Some strolls were happy and amusing while others were painful and heartbreaking.  I told you "My real life love story", and many, many tales of trial and tribulation.  I got definitions published in "The Urban Dictionary" and entered and lost my first essay contest.  I've written about fear, courage, optimism, perseverance, grief, empathy, sympathy and laughter.  I've shared quotes and songs from various genres, and demonstrated my prowess at Six degrees of Kevin Bacon.  I reported on a season each of soccer and swim team, enlisted your assistance with an art contest and battled an Art Nazi!  I've had thrills and spills, a number of firsts, and made several discoveries.  I found and fell in love with my cousin Jackie, I got three new jobs,  I renewed friendships, strengthened friendships and ended friendships.  I've taken chances and advocated for myself like I never have before.  I gave support, advice, and of course, recommendations for the (say it with me) GREATER GOOD!  And I truly couldn't be more proud of myself than I am right now.

When I wrote "Five Hundred" I mentioned that writing "The Bumpy Ride" every day for this year had been both a blessing and a curse.  I didn't elaborate on the negative; because ya know I like to accentuate the positive.  Yet I will admit that this challenge was far more taxing than I ever imagined.  The truth is that I usually give more though to what I'm gonna have for dinner than I did to what a big (yes) HUGE undertaking a daily commitment would be.  No matter how physically or emotionally tired I was - I had to write.  No matter what fun activity was awaiting me - I had to write.  No matter my location -I had to write.  And so with pad in hand I wrote as night fell upon the drive in.  I typed in a word document at the lake, in Laughlin, and while camping. Then I had to go find a public place with wi-fi so that I could capture the perfect picture to accompany the post and publish it.  I wrote from Las Vegas, and California (twice), not to mention having to get up extra early so that I could publish a post before spending the day in Disneyland.  Each blog took anywhere from half an hour to five to write.  And the award for the blog that took the longest to author, goes to "The Hostess With The Mostess", which I wrote while attending the best crop EVER at Mari's hobby  house.  Now don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining at all.  For me the pros definitely outweighed the cons AND now that I know for certain that I really can commit to doing something EVERY day; I'm gonna get my butt back to the gym, so that (hopefully) this time next year, I'll be able to report that I finally lost the hundred pounds that I've been talking about FOREVER.

If I've learned anything this year, it's this: First, I can do ANYTHING that I set my mind too.  Second, if you want to change your circumstances YOU can.  Third, you are only as limited as you allow yourself to be.  And fourth, to quote RuPaul  "What other people think of me is not my business."   

Once again I  want to thank everyone who has joined me on "The Bumpy Ride" this year and I implore you to keep coming back for more.  Even though this is the end of my year, it is really only the beginning.  I am so looking forward to sharing "44" with you tomorrow, so please make sure to stop by, as I'll be revealing  a very special surprise.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-363) Five Hundred

As the "43" series and my 43rd year are soon coming to an end, I'm reaching all kinds of milestones.  For instance, tonight's post is entitled "Five Hundred" as this is my 500th all time post on "The Bumpy Ride"!!  It hardly seems possible to me, but when you take into consideration that tonight's post is also my three hundred sixty third consecutive blog; it's not so difficult to understand how I arrived here.

I remember deciding to take a stab at writing a blog like it was yesterday.  I'd been having such a great time spewing my opinions about the Oscars and the fashions, that when Michelle M suggested that I write a blog, I thought I'd give it a shot.  Even though quitting's not my nature, I almost threw in the towel when I found out that I had to create  a title, a sign off name, and commit to what I was going to write about, because the tasks seemed so daunting.  But in no time at all - I knew.  To call my blog "The Bumpy Ride" only seemed natural, since I really do write like I talk -which is one of the reasons that (as you may have noticed),  my punctuation isn't usually correct.  This in and of itself makes for a bumpy journey - I know; but the name also derived from my storytelling style - which to this day I think fits it perfectly.  As for the subject matter, I've stuck to what I know.  My real life (bizarre as it is sometimes), pop culture,  and my observations about anything and EVERYTHING.  

Over time, "The Ride" has evolved into recommendations for (say it with me) "THE GREATER GOOD", and life lessons as I learn them.  In 500 posts I have yet to figure out why, although I'm so self-conscious, fear ridicule AND criticism; I never hesitate to share my most embarrassing moments, and my frequent faux pas with you.

From moment one, I explained that I wanted to become a professional writer, and even though I still may be a long way off from that ever happening; I feel like if even in a very small way, my stories have somehow made a difference.

The "43 " series has been the brunt of my 500 posts and deciding to write is has been both a blessing and a curse.  I've chronicled the year that theoretically could have been my last.  I was distracted, I was observant and I didn't miss a minute.  I documented my life past, and present and now have a testament to everything that I thought and did this year; which if nothing else, will be something that my children will be able to remember me by when I'm gone (a long, long time from now.) So yes, ultimately I truly do believe that it was a small price to pay for  the inconveniences.

My hope is that one day 500 will be the number of followers that I have, or the number of lives that I've positively impacted, or the number of dollars that I'm being paid for an article or to speak publicly.

I owe a debt of gratitude to everyone who has encouraged and supported me throughout my 500 posts.  Thank you to anyone who's shared my link, left a comment, or took the time to read.  I look forward to getting started on the next 500.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-312) Where The Ride Takes You...

Even though I am the Queen of INDECISION when it comes to trivial, insignificant things, (like what to have for dinner), when it comes to big life decisions, I can handle them without any hesitation whatsoever.  I'm pretty sure that I've acknowledged this a time or six before, but I just thought that I'd mention it again, in case you'd forgotten or by some chance were a new Rider. Anyway, I'm actually a little surprised at myself, because when it came to making the decision to blog every day plus one for a year, there were so many things that I didn't consider.  I apologize, because it's definitely likely that I've mentioned this before, but as I couldn't find evidence of where, in my archive; I'm just gonna forge ahead at the risk of being redundant.

I suppose that I can say that I thought that the end would justify the means and that no matter what I'd have to do to get the blog done every day, it would be worth it. And I can say that I do believe this is true; BUT, perhaps I should have considered the time commitment a little bit more before plunging right in. I might have thought of how I was going to have to fit writing "The Ride" into each and every day, regardless of if I had to be somewhere, was going to come home late, didn't feel well, didn't have anything important or interesting to share, etc. etc. etc. In the past 312 days, I've managed to write a blog while I was in Las Vegas, Laughlin, and California. I got up extra early, so I could write a post the day that I was going to Disneyland, I've written while at Michelle' M's for a couple of barbecues, from the lake, while at the drive-in, and even from my friend Mari's house during a scrapbooking crop. I've blogged while at the Dentist's office and the Orthodontist's and next weekend I'll have to find a way to blog and publish while I'm camping in Payson. Truly, these were obstacles that I hadn't considered; but I'm proud to say that  I've overcome.

I guess it's true, if something was easy, every one would do it. And at least I can say that I rose to the challenge. I honored my commitment and I am a better person (and hopefully, a better writer) because of it. I have learned a lot about myself, and about others. I've gained insight, perspective, and appreciation. I may never be a paid writer, but knowing that there are people who enjoy what I share, is payment enough.
As always, I thank you for the time that you take when joining me on "The Bumpy Ride." And I'm really looking forward to sharing my next 54 days with you.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-300) Homestretch

I can hardly believe that this is my 300th consecutive post of "The Bumpy Ride."  It just doesn't seem possible.  I think I've exhausted the whole SNL cheerleader / milestone bit; but I'm gonna give myself a good ole pat on the back for this one.

I remember struggling to get to post 266, and thinking, "I'll only have 100 to go from there, and I can do this"; but quite honestly, I really doubted myself.  And now 34 posts past that, and I only have 66 to go, so just like the little engine that could, I actually "think I can, I think I can!" 

300 posts; I'm in the homestretch and that feels like something to celebrate.  Since no celebration of mine would be complete without dancing, I'm gonna share my new favorite song "Price Tag", with the hope that you'll listen and get yer groove on with me... (Go ahead, play it now, and then you can finish reading.)

Now that you've caught your breath; in the interest of (say it with me), "The Greater Good", I have one more song to share.  It's not a dance song, but one that I heard at my kid's school talent show of all places.  I found the message to be poignant and I hope that you will too. Even if you've never listened to any of the other songs that I've posted in previous blogs, PLEASE take a listen to  "Who says" by Selena Gomez; and celebrate who YOU are.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-280) Winning The Battle

When I tell people who already know me, that I'm shy; they seem to have a difficult time believing it.  I know that's because once they know me, I'm very friendly and extremely talkative; BUT, if you personally know me, and you think back to how you met me, you'll probably realize that you met me through a friend, or in a class, or work, or for some reason you started talking to me first.  But (unless your Michelle M,) I don't think you'll recall me making the first move towards being friends.

I've told you many times that I am a very blessed woman and that I probably have more close friends than most.  The truth is that I'm very good at making friends, but I am prone to being shy and reserved AT FIRST.  This seems to be a contradiction in terms; I know.  I often refer to myself as the introverted extrovert or the extroverted introvert, take your pick. Either way, I'm a conundrum.  Despite my shyness, over time I've managed to run for a variety of school offices and win.  I've even mentioned previously, that during my senior year of college I was the President of the Student body.  I gave a welcome speech to the Freshman class, I MC'd shows, I conducted weekly student government meetings, I addressed the Board of trustees, our Provost, Chancellor and University President, and I managed to do it with great aptitude; or so I was told.  And yet; certain social situations still cause me to be shy and fearful.

When I wrote "Back In The Day," I told you that lately I've been spending a lot of time looking at old high school yearbooks and that I'd been to various school district offices and high schools; with several more to go. What I didn't tell you was that doing so, causes me GREAT anxiety. Don't ask me why, but it takes every ounce of courage that I have to find and follow directions to these schools that I've never been to before and then to make my way to their library, media center or Information Technology Center (which by the way I had never heard of before today;) but, I'm doing it. In the past two weeks I've gone to seven high schools and four of them were just today. Although today's schools were all in the same district, they were in an area that I was completely unfamiliar with; and yet, I managed to get it all done.
Each time I completed a school I was proud that I hadn't let my fear get the better of me.  I was able to face situations that I found uncomfortable and do what needed to be done, as I've done so many times before; and yet I know that it will continue to be a battle.  A battle that slowly but surely I'm winning.

I can't help but think that I must really be confusing you.  I mean I'm sure that you're wondering how a woman who claims to be so shy can share her innermost thoughts with the world.  I tell you about my hopes and dreams, fears and failures, and yet that's not scary to me.  Conundrum, I KNOW.  Maybe the reason that I do share so freely is because I want to teach my kids (and remind you) that as cliche as it sounds, you can't judge a book by it's cover; and most often times for better or worse, there is so much more to people than meets the eye.  No one is perfect.  We are all flawed; but we all need to be who we are.  And maybe by truly recognizing this, we can all be more accepting of ourselves and more tolerant of each others imperfections .
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-260) POTENTIAL

According to Thesaurus.com "POTENTIAL is the possibility for achievement." 
Synonyms:  ability, aptitude, capability, capacity, power, the makings, what it takes, wherewithal; and today, I was questioning mine.

With 106 more posts to go after this one, I was questioning my ability to see this through.  I know that I have the capability to put something out there every day; but I want it to be a quality product; and I was feeling like I was starting to falter.  Couple that with my new job, and some tasks that I wasn't prepared for and my wherewithal was definitely in question.

Feeling like I needed inspiration, I went in search of some quotes, and I found ten that I found very reassuring.  So as always, in the interest of (say it with me,) "The GREATER Good," I''m going to share some of the best quotes that I found on the subject of POTENTIAL.

"To be or not to be; that is the question." - William Shakespeare (Hamlet)

“The only person standing in your way is you.” - "Black Swan"

“’What’ and ‘if’ are two words as non-threatening as words can be, but put them together side by side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life.” - "Letters To Juliet"

“The only limits to the possibilities in your life tomorrow are the buts you use today.” -Les Brown

Never underestimate the power of dreams and the influence of the human spirit. We are all the same in this notion: The potential for greatness lives within each of us.” - Wilma Rudolph

"Man, know thyself." - Socrates

“Our aspirations are our possibilities.” -Robert Browning

"Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence - is the key to unlocking our potential"  ~  Winston Churchill

"Deep in most of us is the potential for greatness or the potential to inspire greatness.” ~"The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie"

"The greatest crime in the world is not developing your potential. When you do what you do best, you are helping not only yourself, but the world."
~Roger Williams

I feel better already.  Re-charged, and ready to persevere.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-249) DETERMINATION

I've changed the title of today's post three times already, because I'm not sure exactly what I want to write about or what direction I want to go in.  I've called it everything from "INSECURITY," to "Should I Stay Or Should I Go," to "I Got Nothing," and right about now even "Pity Party" is sounding appealing.  So can you guess what's been on my mind?

I'm just you're somewhat average girl next door, so it's not EVERY day that something exciting or funny or blogworthy occurs in my life; and yet, my commitment to blog for 366 consecutive days, requires me to write about something exciting or funny or blogworthy; and today I'm at a loss.  I've decided that I need some re-direction, so please indulge me while I share ten fabulous quotes about Determination:

"Nobody trips over mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble. Pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find you have crossed the mountain." ~Author Unknown

"People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them." ~G.B. Shaw, Mrs. Warren's Profession, 1893

"The drops of rain make a hole in the stone not by violence but by oft falling." ~Lucretius

"I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday." ~Author Unknown

"Never think that God's delays are God's denials. Hold on; hold fast; hold out. Patience is genius." ~Georges-Louis Leclerc

"Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they've got a second." ~William James

"Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use." ~Earl Nightingale

"Look at a stone cutter hammering away at his rock, perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred-and-first blow it will split in two, and I know it was not the last blow that did it, but all that had gone before." ~Jacob A. Riis

 "The men who try to do something and fail are infinitely better than those who try to do nothing and succeed." ~ ~Lloyd Jones~

I feel better already!  And in the interest of (say it with me,) "The GREATER Good," I hope that these quotes provided you with some inspiration as well.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-247) My Real Life Love Story

Call me crazy, but when I told you in "My Something Special," that I had entered the "Glamour Magazine" Essay Contest, I really did believe that I had the winning story.  I submitted my entry in September, and waited patiently, as the rules stated that the essays would not be read until on or about February 1, 2011.  I had no idea how long it might take them to read all of the submissions and chose a winner, so even up until a couple of days ago, I still remained optimistic.  At the beginning of this week I decided that ignorance was definitely not bliss;  so I checked to see if they had announced a winner somewhere, and surely they had.; but obviously, it wasn't me.  I was disappointed to hear that I hadn't won; but I'm not going to let it stop me.  I am choosing to believe that my rejection does not mean no forever, just not right now.

I previously promised that if my essay did not win the contest, that I would share it once and for all, here on "The Bumpy Ride," where it really belongs.  I had considered waiting until July 2, since that's my wedding anniversary; but since we never know what tomorrow will bring or if there will be a tomorrow for that matter; I say, there's no time like the present.  So, without further ado, I am very happy to share my real life love story with you.

In November 1993, I was 26 years old, living in New York (where I was born and raised), working as a Social Worker at a Residential Treatment Center for emotionally disturbed children, and attending graduate school for my Masters degree in Community and School Psychology. I’d had an unusual life up until this time, as both of my parents had passed away by the time I was 19 years old, and shortly thereafter I lost my grandparents as well. I had a younger brother, but we were not close; and so my friends became my family.

Thanksgiving was approaching and in the years that followed my parents deaths, I found that the holiday didn’t hurt so much, if I spent it on vacation rather than with a friend’s family. My friend Stacy graciously agreed to sacrifice her family holiday and go on vacation with me.

In March of 1992 I had made my first trip to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico with my friend Hollie. The only thing that I knew about Puerto Vallarta, was that it was a “Love Boat” port; but the price of the trip was right, so I was willing to give it a try. On two earlier vacations I had gone to Cancun, but I thought that Vallarta was heaven on earth. I had never been to a place with so much to offer. Between the ocean, the mountains, the jungle and the colonial town with its cobblestone walkways, I found Puerto Vallarta captivating.

I made two more trips to Vallarta between May 1992 and May 1993 but Stacy was unable to join me either time. So, while we were planning our Thanksgiving trip, we felt certain that Puerto Vallarta should be our destination.  We spoke with several travel agents, but for some reason, no one was able to find us a good deal for Vallarta. We considered going anywhere and everywhere else, but nowhere appealed to us as much as Vallarta.

 The day had come when we HAD to make a decision about our vacation, and as luck would have it, a travel agent called with an offer that we couldn’t refuse. The agent had found packages for two beautiful properties, both for the same price. We just needed to decide which one to choose. Ultimately we booked the Sheraton Buganvilias because I remembered that my friend Kate, (who was very well traveled) had once told me that the Sheraton Buganvilias in Puerto Vallarta was the nicest hotel that she had ever stayed at.
 
Thanksgiving day was very low key and exactly what I had hoped for. We took a walk on the beach and relaxed by the Pool. Stacy decided to go back to our room and a little while later, I did the same. As I was walking through the lobby (make-up free and frizzy hair abounding;) I stopped dead in my tracks when I noticed the handsome, sales agent that was sitting at the National car rental desk. I took a moment to discreetly check him out and quickly took off for my room, before he’d had a chance to notice me.
As soon as I walked through the door, Stacy said “I SAW THE MOST PERFECT GUY FOR YOU.” I said, “I KNOW. ME, TOO.” And at the exact same time, we said “THE NATIONAL CAR RENTAL GUY!!“ Then Stacy said “You know that you have to meet him, right?” And we joked about how this might be accomplished. We showered and got ready to go out for the evening, and as we walked through the lobby there he was again. Stacy started clapping her hands and I was completely mortified. I asked her what she thought she was doing and she explained that she didn’t know how to whistle or snap and she was trying to get his attention.  I was desperate to leave the hotel immediately, but Stacy would not relent and she walked over to look at some plants. While pretending to be interested in the foliage, a timeshare lady (who sat right across from the car rental desk) called us over; and for proximity’s sake, we went. While the lady was offering us the moon and the stars, I glanced over my shoulder a couple of times, (okay, three times,) to look at the man of my dreams. Well, I guess three times really was a charm because he crooked his finger and called me over. Just as fast as if someone had lit a match under my butt I was sitting at the car rental desk, directly across from my heart’s desire. Luis introduced himself. He spoke perfect English though with a bit of an accent. He told me that he was from Vallarta, and that he was 28 years old. He also told me that his birthday was on Christmas day and I was flabbergasted, because Christmas was Stacy’s birthday too. I chatted nervously about the picture of the Yellow Geo Tracker that he had on his desk, because I had that exact same jeep at home, same color and all; and I thought that all of  these coincidences seemed quite unusual. Luis asked where we were going and I told him that we were going to have dinner and then go dancing and I invited him to join us. I don’t know what it was about Luis that made me so excited. I had dated very attractive men before and I didn’t usually have any trouble meeting guys but there was just something about Luis that sent my heart reeling from the get go.  Luis met us later that night after he’d finished working and it was the best time that I’d ever had. We danced, we talked, we walked through romantic Vallarta and for the first time in a long time, I truly felt that I had something to be thankful for. Luis was off from work the next day, so I didn’t see him at the hotel but he did call to ask me out that night. After our second incredible date I did something that I never thought I would do. I asked Luis (half joking) if he wanted to get married and come back to New York with me. Although many people may have been shocked by this question, Luis softly asked “You want to marry me?” And I said “I think so.” Luis then said “Well, I think that if you come back a few more times; I will marry you.” Crazy, I know but somehow it just felt like the right thing to do. Back in New York I was always on my guard and trying to figure everything out. I wasn’t happy at my job, and my personal life had been a bit of a mess. I don’t think that I had a chip on my shoulder about losing my parents so young; but up until that point, I didn’t think that life had treated me well. When I was with Luis I felt positive, and hopeful and safe; and these weren’t feelings that I was accustomed to. So, I got caught up in the moment and let my spontaneity get the better of me. I knew that most people would suspect that Luis just wanted a green card. But, I had to trust my heart and I KNEW that this wasn’t the case. Luis was one of six children (and the only one who spoke fluent English.) His family all resided in Vallarta and he had no interest in leaving, although he did have an interest in me. I told Luis that as a Social Worker I got four weeks vacation per year and I had quite a bit saved up. I told him that if he was serious about trying to have a relationship with me and if he was willing to commit to not date other girls, then I would come back in a few weeks to see him again and he fully agreed.

Saying good-bye to Luis was excruciating and I think that I cried all the way back to New York. I had finally come to understand why I felt so compelled to keep returning to Vallarta. It was because there was something there that I was meant to find.  Once I got home I couldn’t wait to tell my friends my exciting news. People were skeptical of course; but my friend, Hollie suggested that Luis and I apply for a fiancé visa. Hollie explained that if we were given the visa, Luis would get to come to the states for 90 days, but if we didn’t get married within that time, Luis would have to return to Mexico. I thought that the fiancé visa would give us the opportunity to get to know each other under real life circumstances as opposed to the fantasy of vacation and so I called Luis to see what he thought. Luis sounded happy to hear from me, but he told me that he had lied to me about something. My heart sank to the pit of my stomach and I was fearful of what he was going to tell me. I asked what he had lied about, and he explained that he wasn’t 28; he was actually 23. I asked why he lied, and he said “When I saw you, you stole my heart, but I knew that you were older than me and I didn’t think that you would take me seriously if you knew how old I was. So, I lied.” I asked if his birthday was really on Christmas and he said “No” I asked why he had lied about his birthday, and he wasn’t sure. I told him that I understood why he did it but that he could never lie to me again.  In all fairness though, I have to say that both lies actually worked to his advantage.  He was right. If I had known that he was only 23, I wouldn’t have taken him seriously. During our time together, he never gave me any reason to suspect that he was younger than what he had originally told me. Learning he was only 23 was not a deterrent to me. After lying about his birthday, it turned out that Luis was really a Scorpio, and I’d had other UNSUCCESSFUL relationships with Scorpio men in the past; so if I'd known that he was a Scorpio, I probably wouldn’t have given him a chance. Once we had moved past the lies and I could breathe again, I told Luis about the fiancé visa; and he said “Get the papers.”

In late January, Stacy and I returned to Vallarta again. Luis and I had been speaking on the phone at least once a week, in addition to writing each other letters. I couldn’t wait to see him. We had another amazing, week together, and we completed all of our paperwork to file for the fiancé visa. As difficult as it was to leave Luis the first time, the second time was even worse. As we drove to the airport, our cab driver asked if Luis was going with me. We said no and questioned why he was asking. The cab driver explained that he had picked us up from a club a few nights before and he couldn’t believe that Luis was letting me leave without him.
I went home and filed for our fiancé visa and Luis and I increased the frequency of our phone conversations, to the tune of $2000 phone bills for me. On St. Patrick’s Day I found out that our fiancé visa had been approved (after providing copies of our letters, our pictures, and a testimonial from Stacy). After giving them copies of my phone bills and flight and hotel receipts, the government had believed that Luis wanted to come to the states to marry me. And, so did I.  I started to think that I might be crazy. Was I honestly considering marrying a man that I had spent less than two weeks with? I decided that I had to go back to Vallarta to spend more time with Luis, and that this time, I had to go alone. So in April 1994, I went to Vallarta for two weeks and I fervently hoped that by the time I had to return to New York, Luis would have all of the necessary paperwork to come with me.
This trip was the best thing that I could have done, because instead of lounging by the pool and going to clubs, we were living our day to day life. Luis hadn’t officially proposed, but I sincerely believed that we were going to get married. I told Luis that Disney had started doing weddings and that it was something that we could plan via phone and fax; so that if we did decide to get married within the 90 days, we could have  a “REAL” wedding and not just a town hall ceremony. Luis told me to start planning the wedding. He explained that he didn’t want to propose to me until he was in New York and I saw for myself how much he wanted to be with me.

In addition to talking about the wedding, we had many serious conversations. We talked about religion, because I was Jewish and he was Catholic. We talked about children, and education and where we would live. We agreed that he would come to the states since he spoke fluent English and I didn’t speak fluent Spanish, but that someday (sooner than later,) we would move back to Vallarta. We spoke with his parents and his dad questioned me about my commitment to Luis. He wanted to make sure that I was taking this matter very seriously, since his son was going to be leaving his family and moving to another country to be with me. I assured him that I was going to take care of his son for better or worse. It all seemed like everything was happening so fast, and yet nothing was happening fast enough. And then one night we were taking a walk, and I suddenly felt a great sense of peace come over me, because I had a realization that changed my life. After both of my parents had passed away, I had a strong feeling that something very special was going to happen to me - something uncommon; something that others wouldn't experience. It’s wasn’t that I thought that I was owed anything; it was just a notion that I believed wholeheartedly and that I took great comfort in. At times I would wonder what that something special would be. Maybe I'd be the first woman President, or achieve an uncommon goal; but walking down the street hand in hand with Luis I finally knew what it was. I KNEW that Luis was MY SOMETHING SPECIAL and that we were going to have a love that was beyond compare. Luis’ paperwork did not arrive by the time I had to go home to New York; so once again I had to say good bye and leave Vallarta without him. Although it was painful, I left knowing that this time was different because within a few weeks, Luis would be flying to New York and we would be starting our life together.

 I planned a small, Fairy Tale wedding for July 2, at the Disney Yacht and Beach Club, with Stacy as my maid of honor. I moved into a one bedroom apartment; and I prepared for Luis to arrive. Luis and I spoke on the phone daily, and I couldn’t wait for him to get to New York; despite the cynics that surrounded me. Since Stacy was the only one who had met Luis; she tried to explain to people what she had witnessed between us; but our friends found it hard to believe.  Luis arrived in New York on May 12, 1994 and he proposed to me that night. We were married, as planned on July 2, 1994 in a beautiful ceremony, surrounded by my closest friends and sixteen years later, I STILL believe that Luis is MY SOMETHING SPECIAL.

Although our life hasn’t been perfect, I don’t know anyone whose is. All I know is that loving Luis has changed me for the better and that I am so glad that I didn’t let reason prevail and that I listened to my heart; because my relationship with Luis has made me the person that I am today. Luis has sacrificed all that was important to him to be with me and I love him even more today than I did sixteen years ago. We have three beautiful children. We live in Peoria, Arizona. And, to the best of my knowledge, since his original fibs, Luis has NEVER lied to me again.

When I found out that I hadn't won the contest, I called Luis to tell him.  He could tell that I was discouraged, but he was at work and he couldn't say much.  Shortly thereafter I received an email notification that Luis had posted something on my Facebook wall, and it said "TO ME YOU ARE A WINNER..!!! SIEMPRE.!!"    (Siempre is Spanish for ALWAYS .)  Is it any wonder that I fell in love with him?

Till next time...

Queen of EVERYTHING                                    

                                                                                                       

(43-221) Let The Good Times Roll!

If you've been joining me regularly, on "The Bumpy Ride;" then you know that after the roller skating fiasco I wrote about in "Do Over," I decided to make things right, and take my kids for roller skating lessons.  I posted "The Great Skate Do Over" following my kids first lesson; and today we returned to Great Skate for Lyndzi and Kelsie's third lesson and Nicky's second.

When I took the girls for their lesson last week, I was surprised by how much they seemed to have forgotten from the week before; but today they picked up right where they'd left off.  Nicky had missed last weeks lesson because he was volunteering at the St. Mary's food bank with Student Council; and although he needed to refresh himself  a bit; he was skating competently, in no time.

Sometimes; a picture really is worth a thousand words.  Unfortunately, the roller rink is not ideal for taking pictures and we didn't get any that I felt were worth sharing.  We didn't have any difficulty shooting video though.  So with that being said; I'll now share a video of each of my kids at Great Skate today.  Keep in mind that the first time they went skating, they could barely stand up on their skates. All of my kids are all still a little wobbly, and cautious to say the least; but they're getting into the grove, and regardless of their serious expressions, they've all assured me that they really enjoy skating and they were having a good time. I'm so proud of them all. 

Nicky and Jenny's son, Wyatt

Lyndzi and Jenny's daughter, Bailey

Kelsie and Jenny's daughter, Carly

Now just for amusement's sake; I've got a couple more for you to check out.

The first, is one that Luis called "This guy used to get laid."

The next is "Quintessential Kelsie."

I'm so thankful that my kids are so resilient and have risen to the challenge of learning to skate.  Let the good times roll!
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-209) I Reckon

I'm not in a great mood today; I'll admit it.  I've tried to snap out of it, many different ways; and even managed to genuinely enjoy myself a couple of times.  But, when it comes right down to it, try as I may; I still feel like I'm in a funk.   Do I know the cause of my less than cheery disposition?  Not exactly.  I think it may be a number of things; which are just snowballing.  None of them are important in and of themselves; but when you compound them all; it's hard to climb out from under.

If I wasn't writing "The Bumpy Ride" daily; I suppose that I could just suffer in silence.  But now that I've committed to writing a daily post; it's rather difficult to come up with something upbeat to share; when I'm feeling anything but.  I find that once again I'm questioning my decision to write a daily blog; and although I hate the idea of being a quitter; I'd be a liar too, if I said that I wasn't contemplating throwing in the towel.

I suspect that since I've come this far; I should stick with it.  I should remind myself of my reasons for beginning this endeavor, and I should persevere; but sometimes, most of the times, it's easier said than done.  This daily blog was not meant to be a journal; it was meant to be a tale of discovery and growth and gratitude; and I posit that if I'm being honest with myself; for the most part, it has been.

Now I myself was not familiar with the word "posit," but I found it when  using my handy, dandy Thesaurus, to try and find synonyms for "suppose;" because I found that I was using that word a lot in this post.  Anyway, one of the other synonyms for suppose was "reckon;" but I felt that if I wrote "I reckon that if I'm being honest with myself..." it would have sounded more like Opie from "The Andy Griffith show," writing this post; than me ~ and then I made myself chuckle.  I felt myself emerging from the gloomy state that I'd been in all day.  That's all it took.  A glimmer of creativity, a drop of humor; and I was starting to feel more like myself.

So, I Reckon, that  I'll be sticking with the daily "Ride," for at least the next 157 days; God willing ~ and I sure hope that you'll be joining me.
Y'all come back now; ya hear?
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING  

(43-189) Just Like The Turtle

Just as I've promised in the past, that "The Bumpy Ride" is not becoming an all scrapbooking blog, an all soccer blog, an all politics blog, an all feet blog; (I know; I can't believe that's something that I've actually had to promise; but there had been quite a few posts about my feet; so I felt that I had to provide assurances at the time, that there would be other topics in the near future;) but I digress.  Yes, I know; I digress a lot; hence the name "The BUMPY Ride."  Anyway, in addition to all of the things I've assured you were not becoming the main focus of my blog; you can now add to the list, quotes; as I promise that this is not becoming an all quotes blog; BUT, (you knew there was a but, didn't you?)  BUT, today I took a quick look at quotes to find one for my Facebook status, and in no time, I found one that made A LOT of sense to me; so I posted, "Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out."
- James Bryant Conant

I have to tell you, in case you don't already know;  I am one who is CONSTANTLY sticking their neck out.  And,  though it's sad to say; I'm starting to question if I can endure the criticism and trouble that I all too often experience, when doing so.  Well earlier today I would have replied "NO," to that question.  I felt beat down.  I felt frustrated.  I felt sad, I second guessed myself and I was anxious; very anxious; and I thought to myself "this isn't worth it."   I thought "maybe it's time for someone else to volunteer.  For someone else to subject themselves to being misunderstood when they had nothing but the best intentions;" BUT; that's just not me.  It's my nature to help.  As difficult as things can be made for me; is as much as I feel the need to provide assistance when it's needed; and that's why, being reminded about the turtle sticking its neck out, had such a profound affect on me.

So, just like the turtle; I will continue on my path.  I will be true to myself; but I will also tread a lot more cautiously, a lot more carefully; a lot more quietly; and I will learn from each experience.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-163) 300!

So here's how my brain works; remember when Will Ferrell (as Craig) and Cheri Oteri (as Arianna,) did the Spartan cheerleader skits on Saturday night live?

Well, if you do, then you know that a typical cheer format would be something like: (Craig): "Who's that Spartan in my teepee?" (Arianna): "It's me, it's me" (Craig): "Who's that Spartan in my teepee?" (Arianna): "It's me, it's me." (Together): "Uh-huh, uh-huh. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh!" "Native Americans!" 

Now, if you've ever seen the skits that I'm referring to, right about now you should have yourself a good visual goin on; so hold that thought... And if you've NEVER seen it; then once again I sound like a loon, but please indulge me this one more time.
Now, with the cheerleaders in mind, it should make PERFECT sense, when in Spartan style I say: "Who's reached another milestone today?"  "It's me, it's me."  "Yah, who's reached another milestone today?"  "IT'S ME, IT'S ME!"  "Uh-huh, uh-huh. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh!" "300th post!"

WHEW, like giving birth sometimes I tell ya; but when I get an idea stuck in my head, I just gotta go with it; and that's exactly what I've been doing for 300 posts now.  300, that number seems so unreal to me; and yet I am hopeful that in just a few short months, it's a landmark that I will celebrate for a second time this year.  First now, for 300 total posts and then when I have completed another 137 posts and I submit #300 in the 43 series. Whoa, so many numbers my head is spinning.  I think it's probably best that I don't think in such big leaps, but simply continue celebrating the achievements as they occur.  I want to recognize my small victories, as I take baby steps toward this enormous goal.

In honor of my 300th post; NO, it won't be a list of 300 random things; or 300 anything for that matter; but instead only 3 things.  2 quotes and 1 song.  First for the quotes.  Yesterday, Michelle M, had this quote as her status on Facebook.  It's a quote from Aunt Frances, in the movie "Practical Magic;" and although I saw the film, I hadn't recalled the quote: "My darling girl, when are you going to understand that being normal is not necessarily a virtue? It rather denotes a lack of courage."  Just mull that over for a sec; cause I LOVE it; and I think it is VERY me.

The second quote, is by Mary Anne Radmacher; and it also happens to be about courage.  This quote is on a magnet, on my refrigerator; and I look at it EVERY day; and it inspires me. 
"Courage does not always roar.
Sometimes courage is the quiet voice
at the end of the day saying
'I will try again tomorrow'."

And with that, I give you one of my new favorite songs. A song that makes me want to get up and CELEBRATE!  It's Pink's "Raise Your Glass."  So CHEERS!
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-157) Ten For 10'

If I had to choose a word to represent MY 2010; without a doubt, it would have to be DISCOVERY.  This past year I have learned so much about myself, my family, my friends, and life in general.  Although I've frequently written about my discoveries on "The Bumpy Ride," since this is the end of the year; I would like to share TEN of my most important discoveries with you.

This year, I've discovered:
1.  Change is good.  Change can often be scary; but if things always stayed the same, they would never grow.
2.  You HAVE to be true to yourself.    Everyone has their own path, and you and only you, are responsible for yours.
3.  Age is just a number.  You're as young as you feel and you should never let your age stop you in any way.
4.  I am strong.  I have strength of character, and strength of mind. I am strong in my commitments and my values; and I am getting stronger every day.
5.  Family!  I have found cousins that I never really knew; and I am so ecstatic to have them in my life.
6.  I have made a difference. By reconnecting with some of the girls that I worked with when I was a Social worker; I now know that my efforts were appreciated; and meaningful.
7.  I have a lot left to do.  I have not nearly reached my potential, as a wife, a mom, a friend, a writer a person.
8.  Reciprocity is crucial.  Life is a two way street, and even though you may be accustomed to always being the person who does or gives; you also HAVE to let others do for you.
9.  Karma!  It's the guiding force behind (say it with me,) "The greater good."
10. It's OK to ask for what you need.  I've never really been good at this.  And I know that just because you ask for something, doesn't mean that you're going to get it; but certainly if you don't ask; you're assured not to get it.  And so, once again, I'm going to ask for your help...

This post is number 157 of 366 and number 294 for all time.  Hard to believe; I KNOW.  And as we all know; I still have a long way to go, at least to get to July 29, 2011.  So with that being said; once again I would like to take a grassroots stab at increasing my readership; and this is where you come in.  If you enjoy "The Bumpy Ride," and believe that my messages and stories are those that others would enjoy or benefit from; PLEASE share me with a friend.  I'm ASKING that you tell at least two friends about "The Bumpy Ride," in the hopes that they will join me on a regular basis and tell two more friends, etc. etc.
Now sometimes, telling someone about something isn't enough; you have to show them, SO in keeping with my Ten for 10' theme, I'm going to provide the names and links for the ten posts that I think were my best of 2010.  Then you can just forward this blog onto your friends, with suggested reading built right on; OR, you can copy and past one of the posts into an email, so they can read me for themselves; PLEASE!!

Ten For 10': 
43
Acceptance
My Something Special  
A Gift Horse Tale
The Dirty Word
What A Mom's Gotta Do
Red - A Retrospective
The Protectors
What You Choose To Believe
A Blueprint for a B.F.F


There are so many ways for people to join "The Bumpy Ride." If they visit my blog itself; they can sign up to have "The Bumpy Ride" emailed to them each time there's a new post. If they're on Facebook, they can sign up on Networkedblogs, and follow me that way; or they can sign up through Google reader. Let us not forget, they can also show their support by joining The Bumpy Ride Fan Club, on Facebook. I'm starting to feel like a bit of a broken record; BUT, if I don't ask you; then you won't know that I need your help; and boy, do I NEED your help.

Well, that's it for me. I'm so pleased with how this year has gone. Even though it hasn't always been easy; it's ALWAYS been worth it.  I'm so excited to see what 2011 holds in store for us all.  I wish you love, peace and good health.
Till next year...
Queen of EVERYTHING

                                                

(43-154) Ten Words

As of today, I have been 43 for five months.  Boy, how time has flown.  I know that I say that in one way or another, A LOT; but in terms of this year (for me,) and my commitment to writing this blog daily; I truly can't believe that I'm five months in; and I am SO HAPPY to be able to say that, I'm FIVE MONTHS IN!  WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

The other day when I asked my kids to pick a topic out of Mari's "Memories & Thoughts" jar; they found one that I haven't been able to get off of my mind.  It was "Tell ten words that you love and ten words that you hate;"  and so, since without WORDS, I would have no blog; I think it's apropos that I take this challenge today. 

Lover of words that I am; it was actually difficult for me to pick JUST ten words; but I tried to choose those that mean a lot to me.   And because it seems that I often make things a lot more difficult for myself than is necessary; I won't include 2 words per list, that you have to know are automatic givens for me. On the Hate side, you won't see DEATH or DYING and on the Love side, I won't use FAMILY or LOVE; and since I always like to end on a positive note; I'll list the ten words that I hate first. 

Ten words that I HATE:
1.   Cancer
2.   Suffering
3.   Can't
4.   Diet
5.   Failure
6.   Obese
7.   Cruelty
8.   Bills
9.   Bully
10. Misery

Ten words that I LOVE:
1.   Vacation
2.   Hugs
3.   Whimsical
4.   Peace
5.   Devotion
6.   Imagination
7.   Free
8.   Create
9.   Eclectic
10. Courageous

Whew!  Just hearing these words can make me make me happy or sad; and I think that this is a great reminder that one single word can be very, very powerful. One word can make some one's day or break their heart; so I hope that you'll remember that and choose your words wisely and carefully.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING