(43-20) What A Mom's Gotta Do...

During my big thank you talk with my kids yesterday, I compared how I feel when I'm writing to how Lyndzi feels when she's drawing.  I think that I MAY have mentioned before that my Lyndzi is an absolutely BRILLIANT artist; and yes, I know that most moms think that their kids are great at one thing or another; but trust me when I tell you, my girl's got TALENT!!  Lyndzi is a multi-faceted artist - not only can she draw; she also sculpts and paints.  Lyndzi pays exceptional attention to detail and her vision is way beyond her years.   She's won prizes for her artwork and been featured in our school district art show; and at the tender age of 8 she PRIDES herself on being an artist.

When Lyndzi was 5, I wanted to collaborate with her on a children's book.  I had her do a couple of drawings but we never seemed to get it off the ground.  Since we were talking about our artistic passions yesterday, I proposed that Lyndzi might draw some pictures for me to use on my blog from time to time.  Lyndzi really liked this idea; and though I thought that I had made it clear that I didn't know EXACTLY what I was going to have her draw or when; apparently I was mistaken.  When Lyndzi got home from school, she told me that she had told her teacher that she was going to draw some pictures for my blog today and she was VERY excited.  Not wanting to let her down; I explained that I wasn't sure what I was going to blog about today, so I asked her to draw me a picture of me with a crown on my head; since I am The Queen of EVERYTHING.

When I got home from running some errands; Lyndzi presented me with her picture, and although it was quite good; it wasn't what I had asked her for.  Lyndzi was visibly upset and I tried to comfort her; but she needed some time.  She continued to draw until dinner and when we were done eating, she asked if she could talk to me in private.  Lyndzi shared that she had REALLY wanted to draw a picture for my blog and that she was sad that I wasn't going to use any of the drawings that she'd done earlier.  Lyndzi spoke openly and with a maturity that surprised me; so I wanted to address her disappointment with the same amount of honesty and sensitivity that she displayed.  I told Lyndzi that now that I'm writing my blog everyday I'm never really sure what I'm going to write about unless I have some crazy story to tell; so it made it difficult for me to ask for drawings ahead of time.  I explained that she had misunderstood my request and that even though I REALLY want us to work together SOMETIME; I wasn't sure exactly when we would.  Lyndzi's eyes filled with tears and I felt terrible; so even though I'm a writer, first and foremost I'm a mom - so I decided to put my other blog ideas aside for today, in order so that I could incorporate Lyndzi's picture into my post.
I told Lyndzi that she could draw whatever she wanted; but she just put far too much pressure on herself and she was unable to create anything that either of us felt I should use.  The situation worsened as bed time approached and she hadn't completed a drawing for me.  Lyndzi (who is not typically a crier) cried for the second time tonight and her sobs were heartbreaking.  Lyndzi was upset because she thought that her teacher was expecting to see her picture on my blog, and because I had spent my evening writing a blog about her and her art and I now had no art to share.  She knew that it had gotten too late to do another drawing and that the entire situation had turned into something uncomfortable and unpleasant.  And then she uttered the words that I've more or less been saying to myself for days; "I didn't know that something that was fun could be this hard."   The difference is that I'm 43 and she's 8; and I can take the pressure because I chose it; and IT'S WHAT I WANT; so for now I'm going to do what any good mom would do and tell you how much I LOVE my daughter and how I don't regret writing this post about her fantastic art while I have nothing to back up my claim.  Oh trust me; Lyndzi's artwork WILL appear on future blogs when it's the art that she produces from her heart and her soul and it's bursting off the page.  In the meantime we'll just chalk this one up to a typical day in the life.  To a mom doing what a mom's gotta do...
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING