(43-76) TRUST

Last night, after I added the link for "The Hangover" DVD to my post, I checked to see if there was anything that I could offer, relating to "Master Chef;" and I accidentally stumbled upon the cookbook by the winner.  Curses!  I had just ruined the finale for myself. When I was done typing my blog, Luis and I were able to finish watching last night's episode and then I told him about my discovery. I had no intention of spoiling the show for him and I refused to tell him who the winner was even though he used his best bravado to convince me that he already knew.

After dinner we settled in to watch the second half of the finale, with Lyndzi and Kelsie watching right along with us. Since my Maks lookalike had been eliminated last night; that left Luis' young thang in the running; and she was our family favorite. We watched as she advanced towards the final 2 and Luis and the girls asked me repeatedly if she won. I remained silent on the matter and I told them that what I thought I saw may not have been correct; so I didn't want to say anything.

With just a couple minutes to go, I started to ponder what I would write tonight's post about; and Lyndzi turned to me and implored "Tell me, just tell me; does Whitney win?" I looked at her and said "You have just a few minutes left; can't you wait to find out?" With that, Lyndzi said, "I know Whitney is the winner; I can see it in your eyes." I chuckled and said "Maybe I was lying and I don't really know who won." To which Lyndzi responded, "You would never lie to me; " tilted her head inquisitively to the side and ever so sweetly asked, "Would you?" I assured her that she was correct; that I would never lie to her. As soon as Lyndzi asked this question; I knew EXACTLY what I was meant to write about tonight. Lyndzi's trust in me is what I have aspired to as a parent and was more rewarding than if I had won "Master chef" myself. According to Dictionary.com; trust is defined as "1. reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence." And the fact that Lyndzi has implicit faith that she can trust me; is the cornerstone of our relationship.  I think that if a child is confident that they can trust  their parent; the lines of communication will remain open and the child will strive to be trusted as well.  I pride myself on being a woman that people can trust and depend on; and tonight Lyndzi has validated my venture.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-62) So HAPPY To Be Wrong!!

There was a part in "Dirty Dancing," when Dr. Houseman told Johnny that he knew that he wasn't the one who had gotten Penny in trouble; and he said "When I'm wrong I say I'm wrong."   And just like Dr. Houseman; so do I.  Now even though I didn't get anyone pregnant; I did have an equally troubling situation recently.  For those of you who are familiar with "The Bumpy Ride;" you know that being vague is NOT my strong suit;  but for proprieties sake, (now there's a new one for me;) I can't elaborate on what the problem was; however, I can tell you that this issue had NOTHING to do with another person; but with some documents.

Now in my particular case, since it was a matter of documentation and not communication, it was just that I misunderstood the situation and then the people who should have explained it to me; perpetuated the misunderstanding. But today someone finally explained the matter very clearly and precisely and the hugest weight was lifted off of my shoulders; and the birds chirped and the sun shine (or was it shone)and ALL was right with the world.  I can sincerely say that I have never been this happy nor has it ever felt this good to be wrong before.

I know that it's difficult for some people to admit when they're wrong; just as I wrote in "The Dirty Word," that some individuals have trouble saying "no."  But since none of us are perfect; should it really be that tough to just admit it when we've made a mistake?   EVERYONE gets confused from time to time.  Anyone can make a blunder, slip up, or err once in a while; so for (say it with me) "The greater good;"  wouldn't it just be that much less stressful and that much more pleasant if people could just own up to being incorrect if they are?  I know that pride often stands in people's way; but I for one, want to live harmoniously and with as little stress as possible, so I will gladly acknowledge being inaccurate or misinformed, if I know I am / was.

It's true that the way I was wrong about my documentation, harmed no one but Luis and I.  It caused us stress, and worry, in a different way than what I'm referring to in my advice for the greater good; but I think my point is that sometimes it feels good to know that you were wrong about something.  I can say that  we definitely would have not been this happy if I was "RIGHT" about the records in question.  Just as if I suspected I was ill, I wouldn't want to be "Right" about that.  Sometimes being wrong can be a good thing.  And sometimes admitting when you're wrong can be a great thing.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-60) MISS Interpretations

I am the Queen of COMMITMENT; The Queen of KEEPING MY WORD, and sadly, The Queen of  GETTING BIT IN THE ASS.  Suffice it to say that the last 24 plus hours have NOT been my happiest.  I'm not going to regale you with the gory details; but trust me when I tell you that once again my good intentions have been misconstrued, misrepresented and miscommunicated. 

I have learned that as fond as I am of words; I am going to have to pay much closer attention to the ones that come out of my mouth; because even though I may mean something in a certain way, that might not be the way that the person I'm speaking to interprets what I've said.

  

Perhaps you're surprised that I'm only coming to this realization now; but I have to say; that even though I haven't lived on the east coast in 13 1/2 years; I WAS born and raised there and thus have developed my communication style in such a manner.  People on the east coast seem to speak more directly, and speak their mind more than people in the west. Some may say that people from the east coast are rude for doing so; but being direct and speaking your mind doesn't necessarily mean that one has to be rude or insensitive. I'm NOT saying that I think either is better or worse.  I'm NOT saying that either is good or bad; I'm just saying that sometimes when people with different styles of talking have a conversation; one may need to be more particular about what they say and how they say it; and it seems that I for one, need to pay more attention to this.    I have no intention of changing who I am entirely, but I will be monitoring myself a lot more closely, because I've found that although someone speaks a certain way to you; they're not always OK with you speaking the same way to them.  Although you may have kid around with people in the past; if they're not in the mindset to kid around (which really, how could you know;) then anything and everything that you say in a joking manner can be misunderstood; and quite honestly it's not worth the drama.  So, I suppose that I'll have to put this on my list of things to work on changing; and quick.

Truth be told, I LIKE who I am and I don't really want to change (much;) but if it will decrease my stress; then it's worth a try.  If not, I may just have to stick to the written word and find myself a nice cave.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

70's Flashback Moment

I just got a call from my friend Lisa B and we were laughing because she was calling me in response to an email that I sent her, in response to an email that she sent me; in order to try and make some plans. She said that she thought it would be quicker to give me a call rather than go back and forth with emails, and she was right. We were laughing because sometimes it can be so much quicker to make that call instead of responding by text or email, (even if that's how you received the original message); and yet so many of us are now prone to send 10 texts back and forth, just to arrange a meeting time; or send 6 emails back and forth to make some plans; and I'm not quite sure what that says about the future of human communication.

Yesterday I called my friend Lesa G, and when she answered her cell and asked me what was going on , I replied "I just had a 70's flashback moment." Of course she asked why; and I said "I called your house and spoke to your husband and I even left a message." OMG, we laughed so hard. I told her that I was having visions of satin shorts and the roller disco rink. Think about it; how long has it been since you've actually left a message with a person? Now I'm not talking about business related calls, because even though most companies have voice mail, I do come across many who do not; and some how this doesn't phase me. But in my personal experience I typically reach an answering machine if a friend isn't home; regardless of if the significant other is home or not. I know my husband for one doesn't usually answer the phone if I'm not home; because he knows that the answering machine will just pick up if he doesn't and I am more likely to receive an accurate message from the answering machine than I am from him. Now when I reach an answering machine, most often I leave a message, but the message usually consists of me saying "I'll try you on your cell, but if we haven't spoken by the time you get this message; call me back." So after I left a message with her husband, which was " Please tell her that Paige called;" I immediately thought to myself "WOW! Why did I leave a message? I could have just said that I would try her on her cell and then leave a message on her cell if I didn't reach her;" but I think I was SO thrown off by the fact there was an actual person, other than my friend on the other end; that I felt compelled to be polite, and just like riding a bike, I left a message and it felt WEIRD!.

Remember back in the day when you would try to call someone and you would get a busy signal or just no answer and you just HAD TO accept it, keep trying or call back later? And then, answering machines became popular, followed by call waiting, call forwarding, caller ID, beepers or pagers (whatever you want to call them,) then cell phones, texting, cameras on phones and Iphones and what does all of this lead to? OK, I'll say it, a lack of personal space and time. Why has it suddenly become so important to be accessible to everyone, ALL THE TIME? How many times do you get a call on your cell when you're food shopping or with your family; and even though it might not be an opportune time to answer a call, you do? Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE my cell and I feel naked without it, BUT I do recognize that sometimes it can interfere with the important things and I think that we have to remember that as much as something can be a blessing, it can also be a curse and that everything has its time and place. Now don't misunderstand; this is not an essay on the evils of cell phones and technology, but a reflection on simpler times gone by and a commentary on our need for instant gratification. Am I guilty? YOU BETCHA; but I thought I would share these thoughts with you as they're something that I plan to give more consideration and I'm merely suggesting that you might like to as well; in the interest of THE GREATER GOOD, of course. So gimme a call and we can talk about it - LOL; just kidding.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING