Wednesday, August 4, 2010

(43-8) The Dirty Word

When did "No" become SUCH a dirty word?  It's a word that many of us have a difficult time saying and some of us are afraid to hear.  The word "No" is even the driving force behind a great deal of our fears.  But alas "No" can be empowering. "No" can be a cause for celebration.  For instance - A woman may ask her doctor "Was there anything abnormal with my mammogram?"  And the doctor replies "No!"  Or if a child asks his mom "Do I have to finish these peas?"  And the Mom responds "No."  Or "Do I have to go to bed now?"  And the dad says "No."  Or how about "NO, your ass does not look fat in that dress!"   See, often times "No" IS the answer that you want; and even when it's not, that's alright too; you'll be fine.

Now don't get me wrong, the last thing that I want to be is a hypocrite. HMMM well maybe not the LAST THING - but , I'm just saying that  I don't want to be a hypocrite, because sometimes IT IS difficult for me to say no to friends.  I have no problem saying no to my kids when I need to; but when it comes to friends I don't often say no.  I am getting better at it, if it's something that will inconvenience me; however, I have encountered others who can never seem to say "No" even when that's EXACTLY what they want to say.  And to those I say, if a friend can't accept you saying "No," then they're really NOT a friend.  Being a friend, a girlfriend, a wife, a mother, a sister, or a daughter, doesn't mean that you have to sacrifice what's best for you, in order to avoid disappointing someone else.
So, let's try this; if saying "No" isn't easy for you, just try it anyway (when necessary;)  ya know, just in keeping with that whole face your fear thing that I was wrote about yesterday.  If it REALLY turns out poorly for you; let me know and I'll be right there with an ear and a shoulder (although I don't think you'll be needing me.)
And as for those of you who are scared to hear "NO," then again we are right back to the fear concept; so I say, do whatever it is that you are afraid is going to garner the "No" response AND if "No" is the answer that your given and it truly devastates you; re-read my last paragraph,  and take me up on my offer.  But I'm telling you as well, I don't think that you'll be needing me.
Be STRONG!  Say "No" when you need to AND MEAN IT.  If you Change your answer from  a "No" to a "Yes," no one will EVER take no for an answer from you.  And remember NO is just a tiny two letter word; there really are FAR WORSE...
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

3 comments:

Julie Tucker-Wolek said...

Great post Paige...and soooooooooooooooooo true! :):):):):):):):):):):):)

chksngr said...

LOVE IT! Its healthy to have BOUNDARIES and that means saying "NO" BRAVO!

Joni Parker said...

I agree 110%!!!! I find that I'm ok with saying no (nicely)....but I've had to help my husband learn to do that (especially to his mother) -- she would run him ragged doing errands for HER FRIENDS ... and he finally learned to put his foot down (kinda).... Thanks!!