(43-290) Help Me, Help You

I've received some absolutely fabulous gifts in my lifetime, and I'm grateful for all of them; but I also find that it often really does feel better to give rather than to receive. If you’re familiar with me and “The Bumpy Ride,” then you know, I LOVE helping. I've mentioned before that I volunteer for everything from my kid's school classes to our soccer league board; and yet, I myself have a very difficult time asking friends for help or accepting assistance from others. Well the other day I had a bit of an epiphany, and I realized that sometimes we HAVE to let other people do things for us when they offer because if we don't, we are depriving them of the happy feeling that you get when you do something nice for someone else.

So there you have it, my lesson for the day; if you're someone who often offers to help others then you need to permit others the opportunity to go out of their way for you too. Here’s an example: Typically when my family goes home to Puerto Vallarta, we stay at my in-laws house and we give my mother-in-law money for groceries as she cooks our meals. Since Luis will be going to Vallarta on his own next Tuesday, we were discussing how much money he should give his mom for food. We settled on an amount, and I told Luis that if his mom declined the money, he should insist; however, if she still didn’t want to take the money then he should just thank her and accept her generosity, since I’m sure that it makes her feel good to take care of him when he’s there. We discussed how we think nothing of offering to help others but we typically don’t feel comfortable when people try to reciprocate. We usually try to decline friend’s offers of favors because we don’t want to put anyone out or seem like we’re taking advantage but the truth is, we always offer with the best intentions and the fullest hearts; so we should believe that our friends are doing the same.

I know so many people who are natural helpers, and who feel more comfortable doing for others than letting others do for them; but we ALL need to give and accept help or a random act of kindness from time to time. So maybe think of it this way; you're HELPING your friend feel good, when you allow them to help you.
I hoped that help!
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-205) The Volunteers

About a month ago, when I was at Kelsie's soccer practice; I ran into my friend Patti; who used to be Lyndzi and Kelsie's Kindergarten teacher.  Patti is one of the Student Council advisers and she told me that she had asked Nicky to join a committee that she was heading.  She explained that they were going to try to collect packages of new undergarments as there were a lot of students in the community who were in need; and she thought it would be a great idea to use Captain Underpants in their campaign.  I thanked her for encouraging Nicky to get more involved; and then she asked me if I would be willing to help as well.  She paid me a high compliment, and said that she thought I was so creative; that it would be wonderful if I could work with them; as long as Nicky didn't mind.  I told her that I would check with Nicky and that if he was OK with it; I'd be happy to help.

I spoke with Nicky about the committee and he had no objection to me assisting; so that Monday we went to our first meeting. By the time we were through, we had chosen a boy to be Captain Underpants; and I volunteered Lyndzi to make him a mask.  We agreed on a speaker, a dance group, a rap, and a skit.  And  we continued meeting up until this past Monday when we had our last rehearsal.

At 730 this morning, the kids and I met everyone on the stage; and I showed them the masks that Lyndzi had made.  Nicky was prepared for his part in the presentation and all of the performers were very excited.  We had a slight glitch with the music; but other than that, I think everyone did a great job. 

I've told you before that the word "volunteer" is like my kryptonite, because   I have a very difficult time refusing someone who asks for help. I was  flattered that Patti asked me to get involved with this project and I'm so glad that my kids are learning the importance of volunteering and contributing as well.  
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-189) Just Like The Turtle

Just as I've promised in the past, that "The Bumpy Ride" is not becoming an all scrapbooking blog, an all soccer blog, an all politics blog, an all feet blog; (I know; I can't believe that's something that I've actually had to promise; but there had been quite a few posts about my feet; so I felt that I had to provide assurances at the time, that there would be other topics in the near future;) but I digress.  Yes, I know; I digress a lot; hence the name "The BUMPY Ride."  Anyway, in addition to all of the things I've assured you were not becoming the main focus of my blog; you can now add to the list, quotes; as I promise that this is not becoming an all quotes blog; BUT, (you knew there was a but, didn't you?)  BUT, today I took a quick look at quotes to find one for my Facebook status, and in no time, I found one that made A LOT of sense to me; so I posted, "Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out."
- James Bryant Conant

I have to tell you, in case you don't already know;  I am one who is CONSTANTLY sticking their neck out.  And,  though it's sad to say; I'm starting to question if I can endure the criticism and trouble that I all too often experience, when doing so.  Well earlier today I would have replied "NO," to that question.  I felt beat down.  I felt frustrated.  I felt sad, I second guessed myself and I was anxious; very anxious; and I thought to myself "this isn't worth it."   I thought "maybe it's time for someone else to volunteer.  For someone else to subject themselves to being misunderstood when they had nothing but the best intentions;" BUT; that's just not me.  It's my nature to help.  As difficult as things can be made for me; is as much as I feel the need to provide assistance when it's needed; and that's why, being reminded about the turtle sticking its neck out, had such a profound affect on me.

So, just like the turtle; I will continue on my path.  I will be true to myself; but I will also tread a lot more cautiously, a lot more carefully; a lot more quietly; and I will learn from each experience.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-39) It PAYS To Play with USA!

This will be the fifth year that Nicky and Lyndzi will play soccer with  the USA soccer league and the fourth year for Kelsie.  We've tried playing other sports with other local leagues and I have to say that NONE of the other leagues that WE'VE tried compare.
As I was / am so impressed with USA soccer; I joined the board 3 years ago, because they were / are looking for volunteers.  It's very sad to say that in the 5 years that we've been with USA our enrollment has been on a steady decline; but I attribute this to the economy and the fact that USA ONLY does soccer whereas these other leagues offer other sports.  HOWEVER, with USA soccer, you definitely get the most bang for your buck. USA's soccer season is longer than any of its local competitors.  Our registration fee is only $80 for your first child and $75 for your additional children; and includes, a jersey, shorts, socks and a trophy.  All you'll only need to supply is shin guards, cleats and a ball.  We have extremely dedicated coaches and all levels of players; and we WELCOME new players NO MATTER which age division they'll be joining.

In our quest to recruit new players we have decided to offer a $10 referral refund to a player who refers a new player.  You can EVEN be a new player yourself; and refer someone to sign up along with you, and we'll refund you $10!!  But wait; there's more... There is NO LIMIT to how many people you can refer; so for someone like me who loves a challenge AND and saving money; if I can recruit 8 new players, Nicky would play for free and YOU you can do the same!!  Now don't get me wrong; the purpose of this blog is not for my own personal gain; but to help increase our participation. I don't want my kids to have to play somewhere else because USA didn't have enough players; but unfortunately, that could become a reality.

I maintain that you have to stand up for what you believe in and do all that you can to contribute to things that are important to you.  My kids aren't the next David Beckam or Mia Hamm but they LOVE playing soccer and they truly like all of the coaches, kids and parents associated with USA.  Having played with other leagues, I can honestly say that USA soccer seems to attract THE NICEST people and we have made some really fabulous friends there; and we don't want to see it come to an end.

So with all of this being said; if you or anyone you know has a child who's interested in playing recreational soccer in the Phoenix area, please check out USA Soccer.  You can register online, or in person at Pioneer elementary (registration times and location are listed on the website.)
If you have referred a friend please email our Director, Mike Felix with  the name and division of your player and the name and division of the player that you referred.  You can also let him know that you heard about the discount on "The Bumpy Ride."  Once the new player's registration has been completed, Mike will process your refund.

Now for those of you who may be disappointed in this "Bumpy Ride," please keep in mind that first and foremost, I'm a mom and there is nothing more important to me than my kids.  So even if soccer is a snooze to you, or you don't have kids or your not in the Phoenix area; just think of this as a post by a mom who is trying desperately to help make her kids soccer league the best it can be.  I'm someone who doesn't just complain about a problem I try to fix it because (say it with me) "It's all about the GREATER GOOD!"
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

Educating Arizona

Two weeks ago; after much anticipation I registered Kelsie for Kindergarten. It was a little bittersweet as due to impending budget cuts, full day Kindergarten may be discontinued; and there is no way that a half a day of Kindergarten will cut it for Kelsie; as SHE is a sponge who is READY to learn. I've been trying to make arrangements to insure that her educational needs are met, just in case a half day kindergarten is unavoidable; so the budget cuts are certainly a HOT topic in my home.

When I got home from work last Friday, I checked my email and found the following from Lyndzi's teacher:

I am sorry for the short notice on this, but I felt you as parents may want to know about this.
As many of you know, the state of Arizona is scheduling MANY educational budget cuts for the 2009-2010 school year. Some of these cuts may mean the loss of over 400 teachers in the Peoria district alone. In addition, it means an increase in class sizes, the loss of junior high sports, and a possible loss of our specials classes (music, art and P.E.). Please join Sky View Staff this Saturday to distribute information to all Sky View parents and community members. Please bring your children to walk with us and show that education is important to Sky View!

Dear Friends,
This Saturday, March 7th, we, as a Sky View Staff and Community will be meeting at 8:30 a.m. Our agenda is to hand out flyers in the neighborhood, door-to-door, informing our parents and neighbors about the budget concerns. We will gather in the parking lot at Sky View.
Please plan to be there and donate one hour of your time for the sake of our Sky View children and Sky View staff who will suffer as a result of these potential cuts.

Well you know me; I can't say no when it comes to volunteering for a worthy cause ~ and WHAT could possibly be more worthy than my children's education? So on Saturday morning I woke Nicky and Lyndzi and we went over to their school. We were greeted by Ms. Berg, Sky View's Political Action liaison. Ms. Berg shared the news of all the proposed budget cuts and they were just staggering; so rather than repeat all that she shared; I'm going to post the letter that I emailed to all 3 of my district legislators.

Hello (fill in name here);
My name is Paige Ramos and I am a voter in your district. I am contacting you today as I am EXTREMELY concerned about the proposed budget cuts for education as I have 3 school age children.

At this time I would like to URGE you to allocate all of the money that we receive from President Obama's stimulus plan and apply it towards eduction; as I believe that the proposed budget cuts would be detrimental to my children's education; as well as to our economy, the future of educators and the future of our country. I myself have witnessed first hand the benefits of a full day kindergarten program as I spent time in both my 9 1/2 year old son's class when he attended a half day Kindergarten and my 7 year old daughter's class when she attended a full day last year. I can say factually that the difference in the class performance as a whole was astounding. My son was able to read when he finished kindergarten, but he was an exception; whereas, EVERY student in my daughter's class was reading by the end of the year. I also have a 5 year old daughter who due to a late birthday will attend Kindergarten next year, and I can tell you that a half a day program would be a great injustice to her. Unfortunately I am not in a financial position to afford the additional $250 a month that it would cost me to have her attend full day; and I'm certain that I am not alone in this situation.

I feel very fortunate to have my children attend Sky View elementary even though people say that schools in Arizona are not the best. I believe that my children have been receiving an excellent education from teacher's who care about them and serve each and every one. I fear that the proposed cuts will increase my children's class size which would have a profound effect on the teacher's ability to function as effectively as they have been.

If you ask ANYONE in this country, they will tell you that teacher's are underpaid. We should be insuring that people who choose to serve our children and our community are not penalized for this choice but rewarded. They should be making a lot more money than what they do; not be threatened with making less money and possibly losing their jobs.
Just as we have spent money to install all those photo radars; which in addition to saving lives, generate a lot of revenue for our city; we should be investing in education; as the children ARE our future, but they need to be thought of RIGHT NOW!

I implore you (fill in name here,) when you are voting on budget cuts to education, think of the children whose lives you are effecting. Think of the long term effects that limiting educational services will have on our state, and our country. If there is a legislator out there who is not convinced that all day kindergarten is a necessity or a worthwhile program; then I suggest that they spend some time with the children whose lives you will be changing forever. I encourage you to sit in on a first grade class that has eighteen students, and then visit another that has 26 and tell me that you don't recognize a great disparity in the progress of the children in the smaller class. . I invite you to attend a class with Project Ideal students; and see for yourselves what our gifted children are capable of; as one day they might cure cancer, or find a way to establish world peace or balance the budget. Our gifted children (my son included) look forward to attending Project Ideal; where they're being taught critical thinking skills and have studied subject matter that would never have been offered to them in a traditional 3rd or 4th grade class.

Yesterday I walked door to door with my daughter's first grade teacher, and attended a meeting with our school's political action representative. I was moved to tears over their concern for our children, their concern for their co-workers and the LACK of concern of our Legislators. I implore you (fill in name here,) contact me if you have NO doubts about voting to cut the budget; because I welcome the opportunity to change your mind.
Respectfully;
Paige Ramos
Mother of Nicolas (9 1/2,) Lyndzi (7) and Kelsie (5)

OK, so I wrote to my legislators, and thus far I have received exactly what I expected ~ NOTHING! So, I have agreed to go to the State Capitol on March 25th to present them with the petitions that we had signed when we went door to door; and to try and impress upon them, that education is valued and necessary. As I often try to use "TBR" as a catalyst for change, I want to implore you to get involved. You don't have to write a letter; (although you may feel free to copy mine if you're so inclined - just sign your name;) you can call your reps, or even just send a postcard; as they have to count EVERY piece of mail that is received. Although it's possible that my efforts may ultimately cause no change whatsoever, one thing is for certain; if we do nothing, we guarantee that there will be no change. If you are at all concerned that 40-45 children in an upper grade is TOO much, or that your school may be losing some of its best teachers because they are only a first or second year employee, or simply that the children will NOT be getting the education that they deserve; then I encourage you to let someone know. And of course this is not just limited to Arizona; I'm sure that every district in every state will be facing some type of proposal to cut something in the educational budget, even if it's not as much as is proposed in bright and sunny Arizona.

It's absolutely amazing to me how people can bury their heads and pretend that this won't effect them. When Lyndzi's teacher and I went door to door we came upon a lovely home with a metal carrot on the wall. YES, I said metal carrot on the wall. (It was actually quite adorable.) It was serrated and painted, and it just seemed like a whimsical thing to have. Both Sarah and I actually commented to each other about how cute it was; and then it's owner came to the door. The woman was probably 35-38 and she had her daughter with her, who was probably 6 or 7. They leaned against the door jam and the woman had a VERY disinterested look upon her face as Sarah expertly explained about the proposed budget cuts. When Sarah finished speaking, the woman informed us that her daughter didn't go to Sky View, but to a charter school (about a 1/2 hour away) and that there were already 35 kids in her class. Sarah said "The budget cuts are going to effect charter schools too; although I don't have all of those details; but if you'd like to get on our email list, we could certainly get you more information;" and the woman said "No, I don't think so;" and shut the door. Sarah and I were shocked. I mean OK, it's your prerogative NOT to sign a petition or email list, but we didn't understand how someone with a school age child could just turn a blind eye. No one was home at the next house; and then we came upon another very cute home with lots of seasonal decorations. The garage door happened to be open and on the wall there hung a sign that said "Distributor of Sweetness and Light." I very enthusiastically said "Oh look Sarah; she's a distributor of sweetness and light," to which Sarah replied "Great! So what do you think that means?" And I said "I think she should be kind." Optimistically we strode to the door, and as soon as we approached; the door opened and through the screen the Distributor of Sweetness and light firmly announced "NO SOLICITORS," and shut the door in our faces. So much for signs. Yes, Yes, I completely understand that solicitors can be a pain in the neck; lord knows I get my fair share; I just thought her sign did not coincide with her actions; and you know that's the kind of irony that I enjoy.

So what more can I say? Get ready Governor Brewer, the Queen is coming to the Capitol; and I'm NOT happy! Stay tuned riders; it's once again time for me to put my money where my mouth is; and if anyone would like to join me, just let me know.

Sending SWEETNESS and LIGHT your way.

Till next time...

Queen of EVERYTHING

Lyndzi's Advice

No one has ever accused me of having a "Mary Sunshine" type personality - although I must say that I think I have become a much more positive person over the years. I enjoy thinking the best of a person or a situation (until proven wrong.) I like to believe that things will work out and that the World is a good place, where wonderful things can happen. Luis on the other hand, started out being one of the MOST positive people that I have ever met, and now; though I hate to say it, he is definitely prone towards negative thinking. Ironic, how we have reversed roles over the past 15 years; but lucky for us, the kids seem to take after me. Maybe it's because they're kids,(and they haven't learned not be optimistic,) or maybe it's because (not to pat ourselves on the back;) we're doing a good job with them - but I have to say in my humble opinion, that I have some AMAZING children who have fascinating views of the World around them and what they are going to contribute to it.

Each of my children is Very special in their own way.

Nicky is wise beyond his years. He's thoughtful, and kind and he is learning to be his own person, which is very difficult for him because he is excruciatingly shy.

Kelsie on the other hand is a pistol. She is challenging, and quick to share her point of view. She is profound, and though she can be arguing with you one minute; if you got hurt, she would trample anyone to get to you and provide assistance. (She's REALLY good with a Band Aid.)

And then there's Lyndzi.

Although Lyndzi is my middle child; I'm mentioning her last, because she is the one who inspired this post.

Lyndzi is now 7 years old, and given the tenuous degrees of positivity in our home; she is an extraordinary example of nature vs. nurture, because I think she came out of the womb smiling. Lyndzi is a VERY special girl, and from a very early age, strangers have even remarked about it. Oh, Lyndzi is a beauty with her big brown eyes and her perfect curls, but what really makes her beautiful, is her soul. Lyndzi is radiant, she emanates positivity and if you look at her you can't help but smile. Lyndzi ALWAYS has a kind word for everyone, and she's never had a teacher that hasn't simply adored her. As a matter of fact; I had a conference with her teacher yesterday, and she is doing so extremely well academically, that the teacher didn't really have much to say. So she said "What can I say, She's Lyndzi. She's just terrific. She has a ton of friends, but she never gets involved in any of the little cat fights." She went on to say "Lyndzi is just amazing. There's just SOMETHING about her. She's a very special little girl." And I'm sure that I don't have to tell you how proud I was to hear this.

Now really, I'm not just pulling a Carolyn Applebee here on you. ("I Love Lucy" reference, in case I lost you.) This post is intended to do more than just gloat about my daughter; so let's move on.

All 3 of my kids have Asthma to varying degrees. Nicky was diagnosed at 2 and takes a daily inhaler and medication, Lyndzi was diagnosed when she was 3 and she too takes a daily inhaler and medication; and Kelsie's is more situational; so when she gets sick we have to break out the nebulizer to give her a breathing treatment. Well, Lyndzi just hasn't been 100% since October. She frequently had a cough and frequently required breathing treatments. She even got sick when we were in Puerto Vallarta and had to go to the doctor. She was prescribed antibiotics,which she finished shortly after we got back home;and within 2 weeks she was sick again. I took both girls to the doctor because Kelsie had also started coughing; and if I was going for one, I might as well have both checked. They sent Lyndzi for a sinus and chest x-ray; both of which came back negative; and diagnosed Kelsie with an upper respiratory infection. Within 3 weeks of that, Kelsie was diagnosed with pneumonia, and Lyndzi's asthma continued to worsen. I was in the doctor's office every day last week between Sun and Thursday; and finally on Thursday, they diagnosed Lyndzi with RSV in addition to all of the Asthma problems that she had been experiencing. We finally got her on an antibiotic, in addition to a new inhaler, a new allergy medicine and some steroids. I was told to keep her out of school until Monday.

On Monday I sent both girls back to their schools. I told Lyndzi to go to the nurse to use her inhaler at lunchtime, and to have the teacher call if she wasn't feeling well. Lyndzi made it through the day; and when she got in the car, I asked as I always do "How was your day?" And she replied as she typically does, by saying "It was GREAT!" She then said "Guess what Mama?" And of course you know what I said; so she said "I signed up to volunteer to clean tables in the cafeteria." "Well that was very nice of you. Why did you do that?" I said. To which she replied "Because I think it's great to help." And of course, I was just touched, at how truly remarkable my daughter is. I mean her first day back at school, after being so sick, and there she is volunteering to clean tables because it's great to help. Well, let me not paint her as such a saint; I mean I have a table or two at home that she is MORE than welcome to clean, and yet she doesn't seem to think it's so great to help here. LOL Just kidding, She can help wherever her precious little heart desires. When Nicky got home from school; I told Lyndzi to tell him what she was going to do; and so a similar conversation ensued. "Hey Nick, guess what I signed up to do in the cafeteria." To which Nicky very dryly replied "clean tables." And Lyndz said "Yah, how'd you know?" And Nicky (again dryly) said "Because it's the only thing you can sign up for in the cafeteria." And then a VERY animated Lyndzi asked "Well have you ever done it?" And an appalled Nicky replied "NO!" And Lyndzi sounded as if she couldn't believe her ears, nor could she believe that her brother would deprive himself of such an experience. So she continued "Well Why not?" And he told her that it was becasue he didn't want to be late for class. She tried to assure him that this wouldn't be a problem, but he wasn't interested.

(OK, so maybe you had to be there; but it really was just too cute.)

So today, I went to Target while the kids were at school so that I could buy some sweets for my sweets; and as I was looking for a parking spot, I found one but there was a cart in the way. Someone was walking by, but I didn't ask them to move it, nor did it seem to cross their mind; so I took a spot a few spots away. As I was walking through the parking lot, I thought to myself "I'm going to be like Lyndzi; I'm going to help" and although it was not a huge action, I moved the shopping cart from the spot, so that the next person who came along would be able to pull right in. And you know what; Lyndzi was right; it did feel great to help. Just a little random act of kindness, and no one will even know that it occurred - but it does feel nice to be nice. The World could definitely use a little more nice these days. So to you I say, take Lyndzi's advice; go out of your way to help or do something nice; not because what goes around comes around, but just because you can.

Till next time...

Queen of EVERYTHING

Drawing by Lyndzi Alizette Ramos - Age 7