Always Remember

12 years ago today, 9/11 became a day that Americans will never and should never forget; however, for me this date has had significance for 27 years,  as on September 11, 1986 my beautiful, mother lost her courageous battle with cancer.  Both of these tragic events are still so vivid to me.  I know exactly where I was when I got the call that my mom had passed away.  So many years have passed, and yet it seems like just yesterday and the hurt is still as deep.  Likewise, it seems like no time has passed since I walked into my friend Kara's kitchen to drop Nicky off at her house, because I was 6 months pregnant with Lyndzi and I had to go take my 3 hour glucose tolerance test.  I saw the unbelievable footage on her small, television set and I was absolutely dumbfounded.  I sat for the next 3 hours, tortured by the intense aftermath of the glucose and the terrifying images on the lab TV.

Yesterday Kelsie sweetly reminded me that we had to light a candle for Grandma Lee on Wednesday; and after she had made the comment, I couldn't get the impending date off my mind.  I contemplated what I might write on my Facebook to let my friends know what this day meant for me as it was the day that I had lost my mom and I truly missed her; but knowing that there were SO MANY to be thought of, I was uncertain as to how I wanted to proceed.  When I had a few minutes to jump on Facebook this morning, I was gratified to see how many people had made "never forget" posts, and shared pictures to commemorate  9/11.  I considered writing a post to honor my mom, but with an entire country focused on the tragedy, I decided to go another route; so although no one may have known it, with my mom in mind and always in my heart, I wrote this post:  "Not only is it important that we "never forget", we also need to always remember... Tomorrow is not promised, let go of the pettiness and be grateful for all that we have and each day that we are blessed with. Honor those that have lost their lives for us, by being the best versions of ourselves and making this world a better place."


Within minutes "friends" started liking my post, and even commented; as they felt that what I had written was spot on.  My amazing, friend Tammy, even shared my post on her page, which warmed my heart and validated my feelings.  I am thoroughly thrilled that so many agreed with me, I just hope that they still agree tomorrow, and the next day and the day after that.  You see, although 9/11 was one day that we should  "Never forget" we need to carry that with us EVERYDAY!   When our friends are posting their contrasting political points of view on Facebook, we need to remember that yesterday we all wanted to be ONE America and ban together to "never forget."  Yesterday, we were all united as we recalled the hideous attack and we claimed to be proud to be Americans one and all, that no one should try to harm.    We need to "never forget" that there is no time like the present, and that if something, or someone is important to us, we need to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, because we might not get another chance.  We need to "never forget" that we are all only human and as such we make mistakes and we deserve forgiveness.  We need to "never forget" that it is our duty to live every day to it's fullest  and not waste a single moment on worry or regret, for if we do we are robbing ourselves of precious time that others might not have.


I write this blog tonight as I wrote that post this morning - with all the love in my heart.  With the utmost gratitude for having had an incredible mother, who taught me well during the 19 years that she graced my life.   It is my fervent hope that she is watching down from heaven, comforted by the knowledge that I live every day to make her proud and that I for one still believe in promoting the GREATER GOOD!   I know that we all can DO BETTER. We can be kinder, more tolerant, and work towards a common goal.  We should strive to lead by example and not only when it's convenient or suits our purpose.  We need to teach our children that we do what we say and say what we do.   We need to let the people who are important to us KNOW IT, and be thankful that we live in a country where we are permitted to have differences in opinions in the first place.  We need to commit to memory and practice, that if we should "never forget"  that also means that we should "ALWAYS REMEMBER."

Till next time...
Paige

(43-302) The Best Mother In Law EVER

I think I've mentioned before that my husband, Luis is one of six children; and the only one in his family who speaks fluent English.  Now when I say that he's the only one who speaks fluent English, what I mean is that he has a brother who speaks English (though not fluently) and one younger, sister who understands some English but doesn't speak it; and that's it.  His mom and dad don't speak one word of English, nor do his older brother, older sister or younger sister.  With that being said, you can probably imagine that there is a bit of a communication barrier when my kids and I visit, as we don't speak fluent Spanish.  Nonetheless, we all manage to convey love, respect and appreciation for each other.

I have never met a more faithful woman than my mother in law, and  I find her to be remarkable.  Luis' mom goes to church every day.  She studies the bible daily, and people in their community know her to be a woman who is close to God.  I've been at my mother in laws home at times when people have come to see her in the middle of the night, to ask her to come and sit by the bed of someone who's very ill and pray for them.  No matter the hour or how tired she is; she invariably goes.  People come to both my mother and father in law for counsel of all kinds and they are regularly take the time to help.  What I've  found astonishing about my mother in laws faith, is that she was always accepting of Luis marrying a Jewish girl.  At no point in time did she ever try to convert me or preach the bible to me.  It was enough for her that I believed in God and had faith.

I don't know that if one of my children came to me and said that they had fallen in love with someone who lived in another country and they wanted to leave their family to move there, that I would be as understanding and agreeable, as my mother in law was.  But again, she is a highly evolved woman.  

Now I've told you that I do speak Spanish, and I do so with a pretty good accent, ( or so I've been told),  so I am able to communicate with my mother in law, we just don't have the kinds of conversations that we'd be able to have if we were both fluent in the same language.  We do both speak the language of love though, and through body language, eye contact and embraces, I can tell that we understand each other.  And then of course there's her kindness...

When Luis came home last night, he brought me a big bag of Tamales.  Luis' mom knows this woman who makes the best Tamales EVER!  She makes the most delicious, sweet corn Tamales, and she used to make a shredded beef  Tamale that was to die for.  But as the cost of meet went up, she stopped making shredded beef and opted for ground beef instead.  I tried the ground beef Tamale last year and I didn't enjoy it as much as the others; so I asked Luis to bring home a couple of sweet corn Tamales only.  When we were driving home from the airport, Luis had mentioned something about his mom having made Tamales, and when I questioned him about this; he told me that his mom cooked up some shredded beef and then brought it to the woman who made the Tamales, so that she could make me some shredded beef Tamales.  How sweet is that?  I'm telling you, I have the best mother in law EVER, and certainly not just because of the Tamales.  Her kindness truly transcends language.

I know that one day my kids and I will speak fluent Spanish and we'll be able to communicate with everyone in a much more familiar way.  I can never thank my in laws enough, for giving me the gift of their son.  My in laws did such a wonderful job raising all of their children.   They are truly selfless and extraordinary people and I am so fortunate to have married into such a loving and supportive family. 
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-301) THOUGHTFUL

We've all heard the expression, "If you look up (blank) in the dictionary, you'll see a picture of (blank's) face."  Well, I have to tell you that if you looked up THOUGHTFUL in the dictionary, you would see a picture of my dear friend, Rachel S' face.  I've written about Rachel S a couple of times during the course of the 43 series; but I really sang her praises (and deservingly so), in "The Care Package."  Just to refresh your memory, (or if your a new rider)  Rachel and her mom, Penny had sent me a very generous care package of some comfort foods that I'd casually mentioned missing.  It was entirely unexpected and incredibly appreciated, and the words that I wrote really didn't do them justice.
I told you about Rachel again, when I shared my plans to go to New York this summer, and then again when I told you last week about how Rachel told her mom that I liked to shop at Kohl's and her mom sent me $20 worth of gift cards.  What I didn't tell you was that a couple of months after I posted "The Truth About Ladybugs,"  I received a little package in the mail.  The return address was Rachel's and I had no idea what or why she would be sending me something.  When I opened the package, I found the most adorable little case that was shaped like a strawberry, and inside the case was a ring with a ladybug on it.  Once again I was blown away by Rachel's thoughtfulness.  I couldn't believe that she thought of me when she saw that ladybug ring; and the fact that she bought it for me, touched me deeply.
Well, on Monday morning I logged on to my work computer, and Rachel had sent me an email.  It didn't say anything; it just had this picture...  

And that meant the world to me.  How many people would see a picture in the newspaper and take the time to email it to a friend just because they thought that they might like it.  Sometimes it's just the little things that a friend does for you that makes you realize just how thoughtful they are; and lets you know how much you mean to them.  Rachel is the epitome of THOUGHTFUL.  It runs in her family; and I feel so blessed that it does. 

Sometimes saying "Thank you" just doesn't seem like enough.  So I'd like to share these sentiments:
 

"Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others, cannot keep it from themselves."
~James Matthew Barrie

"A bit of fragrance always clings to the hand that gives roses."
 ~Chinese Proverb

"Because that's what kindness is. It's not doing something for someone else because they can't, but because you can."
 ~Andrew Iskander


"In about the same degree as you are helpful, you will be happy." ~Karl Reiland

"It's not that successful people are givers; it is that givers are successful people." ~Patti Thor


All of these quotes exemplify how Rachel lives her life.  She is wise and fair, and generous and understanding; and her friendship is a precious gift.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-273) Kidz-R-Kool

Today all three of my kids were scheduled to have their bi-annual dental check ups and teeth cleanings.  So if you've stopped by "The Bumpy Ride" before, you know what that means... I was NERVOUS!  I've been very careful NOT to let my kids know how much I detest going to the dentist; because I don't want them to be afraid like me.  Luckily, none of them seem to have inherited my dental phobia and I credit this in part to their phenomenal dentist, Dr. Brenke at Kidz-R-Kool Pediatric Dentistry.

I've been taking my kids to Dr. Brenke for years, and he's done everything from a routine exam, to fillings, to sealants to extractions for us; and my kids have never complained, and have NEVER been scared to undergo treatment.  Dr. Brenke and his staff treat the kids with kindness and respect; and they bend over backwards to make sure that the parents are comfortable as well.  Ironically enough, Valerie, who I mentioned in "A New Crown For The Queen," left her job with my previous dentist a few years ago and has been working at Kidz-R-Kool ever since; which gives us an extra reason to be comfortable with our dental care choice.

Dr. Brenke's office is adjoined to our Orthodontist's office, which makes it very convenient if ever the Orthodontist needs to defer to the dentist or vice versa.  Like today for instance, Dr. Brenke noticed that one of Lyndzi's teeth was not going to be able to come in properly because her spacer wire was in the way.  He asked me when her next Ortho appointment was, so I checked my calendar and told him that it was scheduled for May 26.  Dr. Brenke didn't think that it should wait that long; so he personally took Lyndzi next door to the Orthodontist's office and then brought one of the techs back over to speak to me.  We agreed that I'd bring Lyndzi in on Tuesday when Nicky has his next Ortho appointment; and I was most appreciative of his assistance.

All too often I find myself telling you about the inferior service that I've received somewhere; so in the interest of (say it with me) "The Greater Good,"  I feel duty bound to recommend Kidz-R-Kool to all those who are in the Peoria, AZ area.   Heck, even if you're a little bit further away, I think he's totally worth the trip.

It means everything to me that my kids aren't fearful the way that I am, and that they have positive experiences doing the things that they NEED to do for themselves; like having regular dental exams.  I'm also delighted to report that all three of my kids were cavity free, and won't need to be seen for another six months.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-243) A Reason To Smile

If you read "Name The DJ..."then you probably know that I've been experiencing some technical difficulties.  This should come as no surprise really, since we all know that I am NOT the Queen of TECHNOLOGY; however, I can't take all the blame on this one.

When I first tried to include Luis' 80's mix in my post, I attached it via a link that he created, by publishing the mix on Youtube.  Everything seemed to have worked smoothly, by the time that I published my blog; but when I checked it last night, I found that the video was not available.  That darn Prince, is all I can say.  I didn't really understand why Luis couldn't put his mix on Youtube, when everyone else and there mother does.  Luis wasn't clear on this either, but speculated that it had something to do with the fact the he used "Little Red Corvette," and Prince watchdog's his material constantly.

Extremely disappointed over this new development, I wrote a temporary advisement to add to the blog; so that people who were just seeing it, would know that the mix was unavailable.  I did say that if you really wanted to hear it (and I hope that you do;) you could email me and I'd send it to you.  This still holds true.

Well this morning I managed to upload the mix as a video, and once again at the time that I published the blog, the music was available; but this is no longer the case - AAGGGHHH!

Anyway, despite this little pitfall, I managed to have a lovely day with my kids.  My girl's in particular.  We went in pursuit of new shoes for Kelsie, and while in the area; we ran into Michaels.  We were looking around, and Kelsie caught eye of a hat that looked like a bee.  She tried it on and it was darling.  She then tried on a monkey and a pig; but it was this last little number that we knew she HAD to have.   Kelsie was willing to spend her own money to purchase this charming cap; and I encouraged her to do so, because I thought that it would make people smile, to see her wearing it.  Honestly, I don't know how you can look at her in this hat and NOT smile.

Kelsie loved the idea of causing people to grin; and she wore her hat proudly. 

Right after she paid, I asked the cashier of they still honor competitor's coupons, because i'd just realized that I had one for Jo-ann; and the cashier said that they did.  Had Kels not paid with a gift card, I would have asked the girl to refund her and start over.  But since I didn't want to make things too complicated, I told Kelsie that she could choose another hat and I'd use the coupon to buy it for her.  Don't try to understand that logic.  It made sense to me at the time, because I felt badly that Kels could have spent less of her own money had i thought to pull out the coupon.  Just call me sucker.  Kels ran back to the hat display and before we could blink she was back with the piggy hat.  Both Lyndzi and I questioned her choice; but she said that she really liked the piggy and we were not going to try and change her mind.

Now while we were in Michael's Lyndzi found some clay that she was interested in purchasing; but I reminded her that she had a Targt gift card and some money left on a Joanne's gift card too.  I suggested that if she waited, to get the clay, she wouldn't have to spend any of her own money.  Lyndzi agreed and we walked over to Target.  Lyndzi found a whole clay kit for just $4.99 and as soon as we got home, she started sculpting herself as a little figurine.  I was astonished.  She then made Nicky, Hershey and a frisbee.  I proposed that she and Nicky get together and make a video with her figures; and they did.  But of course, since I've raved about how much I love continuity, life's handing me a big helping of it right now, because I can't download that video for you either.

I'm going to work on getting all of these lil technical snafus resolved; so that you can enjoy the clay video, the 80's mix and the 90's mix as well.  In the meantime, I'll share another pic of Kels in her hat, because I always love to give you a reason to smile.  
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-150) Peace, Love & Harmony

If I had to pick one word to describe how I'm feeling today; it would be "BLISSFUL."  And what I like best about the fact that I feel this way; is that absolutely, nothing out of the ordinary has occurred.  I got to sleep in a little more than usual this morning; which was a  lovely way to start my day; but once I was up, Luis and I had to GO, GO, GO!  We still had a ton of shopping to do; which is kinda unusual considering that our kids are only getting one gift each; plus their gift from Santa, and a few stocking stuffers.  But we also had food shopping to do, and I had my blog to write; so we had no time to waste.

I won't regale you with the list of shops that we visited; but suffice it to say, there were many; and I was impressed with how good spirited my fellow shoppers and retailers, appeared to be.  I think that it's fair to say that I typically try to be a friendly person; even if it's just to smile at a stranger when our eyes meet;  and I must have exchanged a smile with someone while in Sam's Club, which caused me to be struck with a profound awareness that people (for the most part,) seem to respond well to a smile.  The simple gesture of a smile, can mean so much and it's not something that I usually think about; I just do.

During the holiday season, we seem to encounter two kinds of people ~ those who want to wish you peace on earth and bestow good will towards men; and others who are crabby and resentful; and hate all that surrounds the holidays because they have to deal with the crowds and the parking and the traffic etc.  I find it ironic that people can have such attitudes while they are out shopping for what is supposed to be a loving, thoughtful, joyous time; but yet, this idea alludes them. They are not scrooges (or I imagine that they wouldn't be out shopping;) but they do exhibit the bah-hum-BUG; and to me, these are the people who are in need of our smiles the most. I rarely find that if you smile at someone that they will scowl or ignore you; in fact, maybe showing a little kindness to a stranger is all that they need to brighten their day.  It can be a lonely world out there; and you NEVER know what someone else's situation or circumstances are; so I say, risk it, SMILE!

The stores were all crowded; each and EVERY one of them.  People were rushing around, filling their carts, waiting on lines and, for the most part; it seemed to me that most people were in the holiday spirit.

So why am I blissful?  I don't know.  Maybe it's the fact that I think that Luis and I, AND Santa; got the perfect gifts for our kids.  Or perhaps it was the comfort of shopping with my beloved; instead of going out on my own, as I've been doing.  It could be the smiles that I've exchanged with many today, or the season's greetings or my clean house.  It could be the realization that life is GOOD; even if it's not perfect; and that Peace, Love and Harmony feel GREAT.  BUT, on the subject of harmony, I want to say this...

The other day I was once again looking for quotes for my Facebook status and I found one that really made an impression on me; although I didn't choose to use it at the time.  It was a quote by journalist / editor, Doug Floyd; “You don't get harmony when everybody sings the same note.”  How brilliant is that?  I think that it is VERY important to remember that if we were all the same;  had the same beliefs, and practices; we could never achieve HARMONY.  We need diversity, and varied contributions in order to truly have harmony.

At this time, and for always; I wish you and yours, PEACE,LOVE & HARMONY!
Till next time...

Queen of EVERYTHING                           

(43-86) Bountifully Blessed

Last week, while chatting with my girl's teachers before I volunteered in Kelsie's class; Lyndzi's teacher told me that Lyndzi was going to be student of the month; and they'd be having the assembly on October 22.  We all agreed that I would go to Kelsie's class in the morning, (as if I was volunteering;) so that Lyndzi wouldn't be suspicious of me being at school.  Sound familiar?  I wrote about the same ploy in "Kudos To Kelsie;" where I did something similar for Kels when she was student of the month.

It's actually difficult for me to write this next segment, because I'm fearful of being misunderstood.  It is my sincere hope that I can properly convey  this message in the spirit in which it's meant; which is a spirit of love, kindness, compassion, respect and gratitude.  So with that said; I'll proceed with caution.

We went to the assembly first thing this morning and I sat with Kelsie's class.  And as I took a look around the room; I was reminded of the various populations of special needs children that we service on our campus; and I felt very thankful and bountifully blessed to have such capable children.  ALL of the children were so wonderful and sweet but my heart felt sad; and grateful at the same time.  Now PLEASE don't get me wrong.  I know that ALL children are capable of great things; but some have handicaps that others do not.  On our campus we service deaf children, and children who have diagnosis' that fall somewhere within the autism spectrum; and when they come together with the general population, their is a noticeable difference.  Not a better or a worse difference; just noticeable.  some have to wear headphones to block out noise; others flail there hands about, or jerk uncontrollably; and these are things that I don't experience on a regular basis; but effect me profoundly.

I remember when I was about 10 years old; my parents had some old friends come to our home for a visit.  I had never met these friends before; and they had brought their daughter who was younger than me and was completely blind.  I had never met a blind person before; and I tried not to treat her differently; but when I put 2 little super balls in her hands and told her that one was red and one was blue; her parents politely told me that she had no idea what red or blue was; and when they left, shortly thereafter; I cried hysterically.  It seemed so unfair to me, that this young children was deprived of her sight; and I was overcome with emotion. 

I've always had a soft spot for those who are different.  I cried uncontrollably for Forrest Gump for  Pete's sake.  And I'm not saying that I pity the children at my kids school; because it's not my pity that they need.  I'm just expressing that I feel compassion for their struggles.

Sitting in the auditorium and waiting for Lyndzi's name to be called, I had time to reflect on all that my children have been blessed with.  Their health; their aptitude, and their special gifts; just to name a few.  I was even appreciative of Kelsie's tenacity and her resolve to argue with me the way that she does; because she was endowed with the ability to do so.

After the principal called Lyndzi's name; her teacher read the following "This certificate celebrates Lyndzi Ramos for the month of October.  Lyndzi always comes to school with a smile on her face!  She is quick to lend a hand to others, and is a very conscientious student!"  Do I have to tell you how proud I was?  Lyndzi exemplifies all of the qualities that I respect in an individual; and it is an honor and my pleasure to be her mother. 

It often seems easier to dwell on what we have not; and overlook what we have; I can assure you that I take nothing for granted and  I realize how very, fortunate I am in so many ways.  One may be rich financially and destitute emotionally.  One may have wealth but not love; one may have commodities, but not comfort.  There are definitely some things that money cannot buy; and those are the things that are priceless.

Till next time...

Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-38) A Mother's Heart

Not long after Nicky was born; I saw a card with the following quote by Elizabeth Stone ~ "Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body."  As a new mom that quote resonated with me and it soon became one of my favorites; however, the truth is that as my kids have gotten older and exposed to more of life's cruelties, this quote has become that much more profound.
When you have a baby you feel positively consumed by the love that you feel for your child; and of course you want to do everything in your power to keep your precious, baby safe and out of harm's way.  But as your children get older, it becomes so much more difficult to shield them from the bumps and bruises that effect their hearts and it is OUR hearts that also get injured in the process.

I learned first hand how cruel kids can be.  When I was growing up I was teased about everything from my name (first AND last,) to my height and of course, my weight; and perhaps that's why it's so important to me that my kids are sensitive and kind to others.  Of course not all parents instill these traits in their offspring so we have absolutely no control over how our children are treated by others.
It seems that kids are mean to each other no matter the circumstances.  You can be handsome, but if you're shy as well, you're ignored.  You can be friendly, but if the "wrong" person doesn't like you; it can be misery.  You can be too tall, too short, too fat or too thin; no one is immune.
No matter how old you are or where or when you grew up; there was/is always a "cool" crowd who had / have the ability to make everyone else's lives a living hell.  I personally rued the days that I had to go to PE in junior high because there was a group of girls who picked on me relentlessly, and of course I had never done or said anything to provoke any of them.  I'm sure they didn't give a minutes worth of thought to the fact that I myself would have given anything to be shorter or thinner at the time.  Or considered that I wished that I could have disappeared as much as they seemed to want me out of their site.  For some reason it made them feel better about themselves to verbally abuse me EVERY chance that they got; and sadly I see the same things happening with kids now. 
 
To quote Friedrich Neitzche "What does not destroy me, makes me strong." [Or, What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.] I'd like to think that Nietzche wasn't referring to child hood when he said this and yet sadly, it applies.  I don't want to sound like an OVERprotective mom.  I KNOW that my kids have to learn from their own mistakes; but I figure they'll make plenty of mistakes during the times that their not with me, and they have to rely solely on their own instincts and judgment.  So if there's anything that I can do to help guide them and avoid pitfalls, heck yes; I'm gonna do it.
 
I believe that it's very important for kids to know, that when it comes to friends, it's quality and not quantity that counts.  My goodness, if you make just one TRUE friend in your lifetime; someone that you can count on and confide in; someone who stands by you even if it's not a popular thing to do; then you are a very blessed person indeed.  I also think that it is crucial for them to know that in order to have a friend you have to be a friend.  You need to treat people the way that you want to be treated.
 
I know that I'm being idyllic to think that everyone will just accept each other for who they are and see the beauty in each others differences; but seriously, how boring would life be if we were all the same? It takes a courageous person to be true to themselves and to march to their own drum; but I do believe that life is much richer for those who do.

I so appreciate each of my children for the unique, individuals that they are and I wouldn't want them any other way. I love them with all of MY HEART!!

Till next time...

Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-30) Kudos to Kelsie

In additon to wanting to share our love and our lives; one of the reasons that Luis and I wanted to have children, was so that we could bring people into this world who would go forth and contribute positively.  People who would be kind and compassionate, reliable and responsible, trustworthy and hard working.  Individuals who would try to make the world a better place.  And although I believe that our children are well on their way to becoming these kinds of people; today I heard a story about my youngest; Kelsie, that assured me that  we are on the right track.

Kelsie is in first grade and she came home from school on Tuesday and told me that something disgusting had happened in class.  I was intrigued, as this isn't something that I usually hear and I asked her to tell me all about it.  Kelsie explained that someone had pooped in class instead of going to the bathroom.  Of course I asked if the person had done it in front of the class; and Kelsie said "I don't think so."  I definitely needed more details at this point; so I asked her to tell me exactly what happened.  Kelsie explained that there was poop next to this one girl's desk and under her chair.  Repulsed as I was, I needed to press on with  my questioning;  but before I could utter another word, Kelsie said "And guess who found the poop?"  Oh dear lord, I knew what was coming next; and as soon as I asked "WHO?"  She said exactly what I knew she'd say; "ME!"  OK, Gross! Gross! Gross!  I asked Kelsie what she did when she found it and she said "I told the teacher."  I asked what the teacher did, and she said "Called the janitor."  POOR janitor!  I love our janitor, God bless her!!  I asked what happened to the student and Kels explained that the teacher had spoken to her in private.

So today I went to volunteer in Kelsie's class again; or at least that's what I told her.  The truth of the matter is that I knew that Kelsie was getting the Student of the Month award and I wanted to be at the assembly for her; but she's so darn sharp that I knew if she saw me AT the assembly, she'd figure out that she was student of the month; so instead I just said that I was volunteering in her class.  I was / am VERY proud of kelsie for being Student of the month. She has demonstrated that she knows when it's time to play and she knows when it's time to buckle down and do work.  I'm told that she is very well behaved and a great role model. Now what mom wouldn't be ecstatic to receive these compliments about their child?  But even better than that, was the story that her teacher told me about the poop incident.
Her teacher said, "I felt so bad that Kelsie had to be the one to find the poop; but she handled the situation so compassionately."  She said "Kelsie was very discreet when she told me what happened and she didn't make a big deal about it, so ultimately none of the other kids in the class had any idea what was going on and the pooper was not embarrassed." (Well she didn't say pooper...)  My chest swelled with pride and my heart smiled as the teacher told me this story; and I grew a new appreciation for the person that kelsie is becoming.  Many other children would have handled this situation so very differently; and I think Kelsie demonstrated maturity and compassion that we sometimes don't even see in adults.  I think it's safe to say that Luis and I are doing something VERY right.  Get ready world!!
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-18) We're All In This TOGETHER

Today was a day of EXTREMELY mixed emotions.  I laughed several times, when I wasn't on the verge of tears.  I had a knot in the pit of my stomache (which actually took residence about a week ago;) but then I felt the kindess of strangers and the comfort of familiarity and the knot would dissipate.  Vague, I know; which must seem unusual coming from the Queen of OVER EXPLAINING; but details at this time are actually unimportant. 

Today Michelle M and I had a garage sale.  It wasn't one of my FULL ON garage sales; but one that I was helping her with and OK, of course I couldn't resist the opportunity to sell a few of my things along the way.  It was an enlightening day because our conversations ran the gamut from the economy and foreclosure to child rearing, to Disneyland and Las Vegas to careers, friendships and relationships to my utter disgust and annoyance with the NOT REAL "Real Housewives of New Jersey;" and that was just the first half hour.  Nah, just kidding; those conversations took place over the course of 8 hours and I know for sure that we, (or at least I) could have sat and talked for at least 8 hours more.
Michelle and I were engrossed in our conversations in between sales and I have to say that I was touched and impressed by so many of the people that we encountered today.  There was something different in the air and it wasn't just the unusual humidity.  People were open today; people shared their stories with strangers and offered comfort and reassurance to each other and we all commiserated and it felt GOOD.  People exposed their private information for an opportunity to feel connected and it seemed that the housing epidemic was uniting people in a way that we haven't been before.  Now again, I know that I'm writing in a lot of generalities but this time it was truly the actions that were important and NOT all of the details.  It was a sign that people were reaching out to each other, people wanted to be sympathetic and empathetic because after all WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

Uncommon Kindness

As the year is coming to an end, I want to tell you a story of an unusual act of kindness. I like to think of myself as a kind person; as are most of the people that I know; and on occasion I will go out of my way for someone, even if it means my own inconvenience; but I recently experienced an act of kindness that went far beyond that of what's common and as I was astounded by this person's generosity of spirit, I feel compelled to tell this story.

I have been working for my employer for approximately 12 years and although they've never paid me what I deserve, they have been very flexible with my schedule and they've even allowed me to work from home for the past 2 1/2 years; so I suppose you can say that I am sacrificing my pay for their adaptability. People often ask me why I don't get a different job and the truth of the matter is that I WANT TO BE A WRITER and until I can find a job as a paid writer, it doesn't make much sense for me to take something on that is just going to be another " JOB." Additionally, the hours that I would be available to work away from home would be limited, so it would have to be a very well paying JOB and in this economy such a position is hard to find.

Now, like I said a couple of posts ago, I've been sparing you the current woe is me of my life as I am acutely aware that my present situation is not unusual; but as it is pertinent to this story; I'm going to share:
In August all of the employees at my company were advised that business had not been going well; and therefore, we were all going to have to take a pay cut. I can't disclose the percentage of the cut; but suffice it to say that it meant hardship for my family.
In September Luis was told that he and all of the other managers at his hotel were going to have to take 8 days off without pay by December 31st.
And in October I was told that I needed to reduce my hours from 40 to 32 per week, as the company was having cash flow problems. The person who broke the news to me said "We're making reservations; we're just not collecting enough money for them." Now as the person who collects the money, this statement certainly left me to wonder "If I'm the person who collects the money, how can we afford for me to work any less?" I asked a question to this affect but regardless of the logic the company had decided that all 3 women in the accounting department were going to cut their hours and a number of other people were laid off. Ok, now I'm sure that some of you are thinking, "If the company claims to be having a problem collecting money, why aren't they firing Paige, if she's the one who collects the money?" And the answer my friends is simple; I am the Queen of COLLECTIONS! Not to toot my own horn, but I am EXTREMELY good at what I do and my employers know it; BUT, one person cannot be expected to collect money from 65,000 hotels worldwide, single handedly and that is exactly what they have been having me do. I should have a staff of at least 4 people; but instead it's just me and considering that it's just me; I've made them A LOT of money; just not ALL of their money.

The news of my new schedule immediately sent me into panic mode. My poor husband had already been working 2 jobs to try to earn some extra money, but between August and November our pay had decreased significantly and the money that he made at the pharmacy couldn't make up for all that was being lost. Much to his credit Luis remained positive and reassured me that we'd be OK; so I've been doing my best to refrain from acting like a nervous wreck.
My present deal with my company is that 3 days a week I work from home and 1 day a week I go into the office. I was in the office on December 17 and I was talking to my friend, (who for the sake of this blog I will refer to as DM;) and I told him that I got the distinct feeling that no matter how much money the company made they would never give my hours back nor restore my previous pay rate; and it saddens me to say that DM agreed. DM has been on my side for years. In fact he is probably the only person at my company who realizes how hard I work and what my contribution to the company has been. I shared my fear with him, he said "Well, I'll tell ya; after they cut your hours, I was thinking of going to the other guys and suggesting that we all take a little more of a pay cut so that you wouldn't have to lose a day. I realized that none of them were going to be willing to do it, so I thought that I would let them cut my pay enough to get your day back; but then I realized that if I let them do so, they'd never give my money back. So then I thought I would go to them and ask how much it cost to pay you for a day and offer to write them a check each pay period so that you could get your day back; and then after you, if I could, I would do this person and that person." And I don't think that I have to tell you that I almost cried. I think my jaw must have dropped to my desk because I couldn't believe how selfless DM was and what I was hearing. I thanked him profusely for even considering such an act, and assured him that I could never let him do so. We talked about how ridiculous it was that he recognized my value to the company while its owners did not and how his compassion surpassed theirs. And although his offer will never come to fruition, it is the fact that he even considered it that is extraordinary to me.

So often through the history of this blog, I have told you that I am all about the GREATER GOOD and THIS is a shining example of a man who in so many ways was exemplifying the greater good. He wanted the greater good for my family, and for our company and he was willing to try and contribute towards the greater good at his own expense. UNCOMMONLY KIND, is all that I can say.

We certainly don't all have the means to take on the financial burden of someone else, but we ALL can make a difference in someones life in one way or another. Whether it is to give a friend 5 extra minutes of your time when you really don't have it; or by volunteering, or extending a friendly greeting to a stranger ~ just because; we can all be facilitators of the greater good.
As we approach this new year, 2010; I hope that life continues to get better for all of you, in every way. May you all experience good health, both physically and emotionally, may you grow rich emotionally, spiritually, creatively and financially and may you put your dreams in motion and make them your reality.

As always I thank you for taking the time to take this journey with me. I thank you for your support and your encouragement, your laughter and your tears.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

Lyndzi's Advice

No one has ever accused me of having a "Mary Sunshine" type personality - although I must say that I think I have become a much more positive person over the years. I enjoy thinking the best of a person or a situation (until proven wrong.) I like to believe that things will work out and that the World is a good place, where wonderful things can happen. Luis on the other hand, started out being one of the MOST positive people that I have ever met, and now; though I hate to say it, he is definitely prone towards negative thinking. Ironic, how we have reversed roles over the past 15 years; but lucky for us, the kids seem to take after me. Maybe it's because they're kids,(and they haven't learned not be optimistic,) or maybe it's because (not to pat ourselves on the back;) we're doing a good job with them - but I have to say in my humble opinion, that I have some AMAZING children who have fascinating views of the World around them and what they are going to contribute to it.

Each of my children is Very special in their own way.

Nicky is wise beyond his years. He's thoughtful, and kind and he is learning to be his own person, which is very difficult for him because he is excruciatingly shy.

Kelsie on the other hand is a pistol. She is challenging, and quick to share her point of view. She is profound, and though she can be arguing with you one minute; if you got hurt, she would trample anyone to get to you and provide assistance. (She's REALLY good with a Band Aid.)

And then there's Lyndzi.

Although Lyndzi is my middle child; I'm mentioning her last, because she is the one who inspired this post.

Lyndzi is now 7 years old, and given the tenuous degrees of positivity in our home; she is an extraordinary example of nature vs. nurture, because I think she came out of the womb smiling. Lyndzi is a VERY special girl, and from a very early age, strangers have even remarked about it. Oh, Lyndzi is a beauty with her big brown eyes and her perfect curls, but what really makes her beautiful, is her soul. Lyndzi is radiant, she emanates positivity and if you look at her you can't help but smile. Lyndzi ALWAYS has a kind word for everyone, and she's never had a teacher that hasn't simply adored her. As a matter of fact; I had a conference with her teacher yesterday, and she is doing so extremely well academically, that the teacher didn't really have much to say. So she said "What can I say, She's Lyndzi. She's just terrific. She has a ton of friends, but she never gets involved in any of the little cat fights." She went on to say "Lyndzi is just amazing. There's just SOMETHING about her. She's a very special little girl." And I'm sure that I don't have to tell you how proud I was to hear this.

Now really, I'm not just pulling a Carolyn Applebee here on you. ("I Love Lucy" reference, in case I lost you.) This post is intended to do more than just gloat about my daughter; so let's move on.

All 3 of my kids have Asthma to varying degrees. Nicky was diagnosed at 2 and takes a daily inhaler and medication, Lyndzi was diagnosed when she was 3 and she too takes a daily inhaler and medication; and Kelsie's is more situational; so when she gets sick we have to break out the nebulizer to give her a breathing treatment. Well, Lyndzi just hasn't been 100% since October. She frequently had a cough and frequently required breathing treatments. She even got sick when we were in Puerto Vallarta and had to go to the doctor. She was prescribed antibiotics,which she finished shortly after we got back home;and within 2 weeks she was sick again. I took both girls to the doctor because Kelsie had also started coughing; and if I was going for one, I might as well have both checked. They sent Lyndzi for a sinus and chest x-ray; both of which came back negative; and diagnosed Kelsie with an upper respiratory infection. Within 3 weeks of that, Kelsie was diagnosed with pneumonia, and Lyndzi's asthma continued to worsen. I was in the doctor's office every day last week between Sun and Thursday; and finally on Thursday, they diagnosed Lyndzi with RSV in addition to all of the Asthma problems that she had been experiencing. We finally got her on an antibiotic, in addition to a new inhaler, a new allergy medicine and some steroids. I was told to keep her out of school until Monday.

On Monday I sent both girls back to their schools. I told Lyndzi to go to the nurse to use her inhaler at lunchtime, and to have the teacher call if she wasn't feeling well. Lyndzi made it through the day; and when she got in the car, I asked as I always do "How was your day?" And she replied as she typically does, by saying "It was GREAT!" She then said "Guess what Mama?" And of course you know what I said; so she said "I signed up to volunteer to clean tables in the cafeteria." "Well that was very nice of you. Why did you do that?" I said. To which she replied "Because I think it's great to help." And of course, I was just touched, at how truly remarkable my daughter is. I mean her first day back at school, after being so sick, and there she is volunteering to clean tables because it's great to help. Well, let me not paint her as such a saint; I mean I have a table or two at home that she is MORE than welcome to clean, and yet she doesn't seem to think it's so great to help here. LOL Just kidding, She can help wherever her precious little heart desires. When Nicky got home from school; I told Lyndzi to tell him what she was going to do; and so a similar conversation ensued. "Hey Nick, guess what I signed up to do in the cafeteria." To which Nicky very dryly replied "clean tables." And Lyndz said "Yah, how'd you know?" And Nicky (again dryly) said "Because it's the only thing you can sign up for in the cafeteria." And then a VERY animated Lyndzi asked "Well have you ever done it?" And an appalled Nicky replied "NO!" And Lyndzi sounded as if she couldn't believe her ears, nor could she believe that her brother would deprive himself of such an experience. So she continued "Well Why not?" And he told her that it was becasue he didn't want to be late for class. She tried to assure him that this wouldn't be a problem, but he wasn't interested.

(OK, so maybe you had to be there; but it really was just too cute.)

So today, I went to Target while the kids were at school so that I could buy some sweets for my sweets; and as I was looking for a parking spot, I found one but there was a cart in the way. Someone was walking by, but I didn't ask them to move it, nor did it seem to cross their mind; so I took a spot a few spots away. As I was walking through the parking lot, I thought to myself "I'm going to be like Lyndzi; I'm going to help" and although it was not a huge action, I moved the shopping cart from the spot, so that the next person who came along would be able to pull right in. And you know what; Lyndzi was right; it did feel great to help. Just a little random act of kindness, and no one will even know that it occurred - but it does feel nice to be nice. The World could definitely use a little more nice these days. So to you I say, take Lyndzi's advice; go out of your way to help or do something nice; not because what goes around comes around, but just because you can.

Till next time...

Queen of EVERYTHING

Drawing by Lyndzi Alizette Ramos - Age 7

Humanity is alive and well

I'll admit that I am prone to complain a lot. I'd like to think that it's not so much, like poor me kinda stuff (that's usually not my style;) but I complain about whatever I consider to be injustices, ie: The Deal or No Deal Situation, or the uprising of the mediocre etc. Maybe they're not so much complaints as gripes; but anyway, what I want to get at is, as much as I can complain or gripe, I definitely take great pleasure in discussing what is good and right in the world when I have occasion to witness it.

The other day my friend Tiffany suffered a terrible tragedy when her 7 year old nephew accidentally shot himself in the eye with a pellet gun that he found in his garage. Tiffany's nephew was rushed to the ER, flown to the closest pediatric hospital and underwent surgery; but sadly, he did not make it.
Tiffany was devastated as ANYONE would be; and she planned to fly to Iowa to be with her sister, but the last minute airfare was not cheap; $600.00
Our friend Kara sent an email to all of their mutual friends as well as her relatives and Tiff's neighbors. Kara wrote of the tragedy and advised that she would be collecting contributions towards Tiffany's airfare; if anyone felt that they wanted to help out.

Tiffany is the type of person who is always there when you need her. Last year my son had been in the hospital for a few days because he was in asthmatic distress; and as soon as Tiffany heard about my sons hospitalization (from Kara,) she called to see what she could do. I hadn't had anything to eat for dinner and Tiffany offered to drive up late at night to bring me something to eat; she only lived 45 minutes from the hospital. I declined- I told her that I was sure that I could live off of my body fat for one night; but she then insisted that she would be there the next morning, no matter what I had to say about it. Tiffany showed up with Starbuck's and a scrapbooking magazine for me, a balloon and some coloring books for my son and some various other treats, if my memory serves me correctly - that's just the type of person that Tiffany is; and I could go on and on.

Since Tiffany has been such a good friend to me, of course I wanted to help her; but just one day after my $840 dentist bill, I didn't have much to contribute. I spoke with my husband and we planned to contribute $25 since our finances were so tight. I was trying to figure out what else I could do to help Tiffany so I decided to email everyone that Kara didn't know; like women that Tiffany and I scrapbook with and other friends of mine who have met Tiff.
I forwarded Kara's email with an introduction that explained "although you might not know Tiffany very well, I thought you would want to know about the tragedy that she has experienced." And then it happened... Women who have only met Tiffany a couple of times started contacting me to tell me that they wanted to contribute. Jenny and Lisa B and Lesa G and my friend Michelle K who hasn't even seen or spoken to Tiffany in over a year wanted to contribute, and my friend Rachel who lives in Santa Monica and comes in a couple of times a year, wanted to contribute; and my friend Jackie, who has been undergoing her own tragedies day in and day out, wanted to contribute and then the one that brought me to tears; Jackie's mother wanted to contribute. Now Jackie has become one of my closest friends and we spend a lot of time together, but I haven't even met her mom yet, so needless to say neither has Tiffany - and here was Jackie's mom giving a $50 contribution to a woman she never met... People can be GOOD!! People can pitch in when others are down because they recognize that this tragedy could have just as easily happened to them or someone that they are close to; or they recognize that there is pain and suffering in life and sometimes you just need to help because it is the right thing to do.
In a world where we often see the worst sides of people, it is so unexpected and delightful when people show you just how good we CAN BE to each other. People can AMAZE you; but it is kinda sad that generosity and compassion would be causes for amazement. Nonetheless, I was amazed and thankfully so. I was overwhelmed by the kindness of strangers and so thankful that we were all able to come together and help make things a little easier for Tiffany because I know that she would have been one of the first ones to do the same for someone else.
Certainly I am not the Queen of, oh what's that word? Like when someone of importance bestows you with a compliment? Well you know what I mean, it's not like my praise is going to get you into heaven or get you a Nobel peace prize, or really even matters, but I'll give it anyway - accolades to all of you who showed that humanity is alive and well.
Thank you so much for taking the time to care.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING