(43-338) Scary Pain

On Monday, I bit into a chip and experienced the most unpleasant shooting pain in my tooth.  In my life, I had never felt such a bizarre and terrifying pain in my mouth; but thankfully it did not persist.  Then
last night I was eating a salad, and I experienced a similar pain - though not quite as brutal.  Since twice I'd felt the pain in the same part of my mouth, I started to panic.  Huge Dentalphobic that I am, I feared that the pain meant that something was going wrong with one of my teeth; and I got scared.

Now when I get scared about a tooth pain, what typically happens is that I obsess about it, and I manifest the pain that I fear so much.  I took some Ibuprofen, and an Alprazolam (for anxiety) because I didn't want my fear to make the pain worse.  I slept through the night (which was a great sign that nothing was wrong;) but when I got up, I was sure that my tooth hurt (even though I couldn't tell you which one it was.)  I took some more medicine and went to work.  I IM'd Luis and told him that I was nervous about my tooth; especially because we were going out of town on Saturday and he suggested that I go to the dentist.

The old me would have waited till the last possible minute to go to the dentist; but despite my fear I scheduled an appointment for today at 2 because I wanted to ensure that I'd be pain free for our trip.  I was REALLY proud of myself, because not only did I go to the dentist promptly, but I didn't take any Alprazolam prior to my appointment.  I kept telling myself "If there is something wrong with the tooth, it will feel better after that appointment, so there was nothing to be afraid of."   I told the receptionist, the dentist and his assistant that I was really hoping that it was a sinus problem or even nothing at all.  I said that if they couldn't find anything wrong then I knew I'd look crazy, but that was a chance I was willing to take, because I'd rather be safe than sorry.  They took x-rays, tested hot and cold, tapped on teeth picked at teeth and thankfully, nothing caused me any pain.  The Dentist explained that I may have bit into the chip the wrong way (and for me biting into a chip at all, is THE WRONG WAY.)  And even though you can't bruise a tooth, he explained that what he thinks happened to my tooth was the equivalent of bruising it.

When all was said and done the dentist assured me that he didn't see any sign of infection or abscess, and said that I should go to California, relax and have fun because nothing should go wrong with my tooth this weekend.  I thanked everyone profusely and left with a great sense of relief.   I was and am so proud of myself for not procrastinating, and I am hopeful that I won't ever feel that pain again.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-315) In The Know

I've written many a time about my severe dental anxiety; and in case you happen to be a new rider, now you're in the know.  My fear of going to the Dentist is not limited to having a procedure done. I also manage to work myself up into quite the tizzy even when I'm going for a routine exam and cleaning.  But nonetheless I try to be very conscientious about going, so that I can avoid the necessity of additional visits.

A few months ago, the Dentist that I was seeing (and liked very much), went on hiatus.  Not wanting to see the Dentist that I wrote about in "A New Crown For The Queen," I postponed making an appointment until they hired a replacement.  The receptionist called in March and said that they had a new Dentist that she thought that I'd like very much.  I made an appointment for a cleaning, but wound up re-scheduling because I had a high fever, allergy and sinus problems.  I re-booked for a couple of weeks after that; but had to re-schedule again because I forgot to check my refrigerator calendar before choosing the date,  and once I did, I found that all three of my kids had a Dentist appointment for that same day.  I made the appointment for a couple of weeks after that, and when the receptionist called to confirm, I jokingly told her that I didn't want to go; but I ultimately agreed that I would. 

I reluctantly went to the appointment, and to add insult to injury I had pages and pages of paperwork to do and none of my information had changed.  After a half hour, the receptionist that I'm less fond of, called the other receptionist's attention to the fact that I'd been there a half hour and there were still two people having work done.  She apologized to me, explained that they were seeing an emergency patient and told me that it would still be a while.  I told them that I completely understood, and suggested that I could go home because I live so close, and they could call me when he was almost ready.  They agreed, but then I though to ask if there was someone who was supposed to have an appointment after mine, and they said yes.  I offered to just re-schedule AGAIN, and the receptionist (that I like) agreed and gave me a scratch off ticket and told me that maybe I'd have better luck with that. (just as an aside - I didn't.)

So last Friday, I got a text from my cousin Jackie.  She knew that I was supposed to go to the Dentist for my cleaning, and she had just gone for hers the day before.  I told her that I didn't want to go and she tried to give me images to visualize, to make the experience less uncomfortable.  Then she texted "pick a pretty toothbrush."  I asked what color she chose and she said that she didn't get a choice, they gave her blue.  She then texted "I think you'll get a red one."

I met my new dentist and he was a doll.  He was extremely gentle and very kind, and I would highly recommend him to anyone who suffers with Dental anxiety.  Once my cleaning was concluded, it was time for Luis to have his.  I chatted with the receptionist in the meantime, and when Luis' exam was finished, I noticed that he had gotten a toothbrush, but I had not.  I asked if I could have a toothbrush too.  (Really just because I wanted to see what color I'd get.) Te hygienist came out and handed me a bag, and when I caught a glimpse of the toothbrush out of the corner of my eye, I  asked the hygienist "Did you give me a red toothbrush?"  And she said "yes." 

I was highly amused that Jackie had predicted my toothbrush color, and I texted her to tell her that she had been right.  She responded "Now go get a pink scratch off ticket."  So the next day, when I stopped for gas, I bought a $2 pink, BINGO scratch ticket.  I didn't play it, because I wanted to wait until Luis and I could do it together; and tonight we finally found some time.  The ticket started off good, but slowed down towards the end; and as Luis scratched off the final number, I screamed when it revealed that we had won $50.  

                                                                               

I texted Jackie to tell her about our winnings and she told me to "keep $48 and buy a $2 green scratch ticket." I then spoke to her and before we hung up, she told me that if we couldn't find a green ticket, we could get a purple.  So when we cash in our ticket tomorrow, we'll purchase a green or purple $2 ticket, since it certainly seems that Jackie is in the know.

Till next time...

Queen of EVERYTHING
 

(43-273) Kidz-R-Kool

Today all three of my kids were scheduled to have their bi-annual dental check ups and teeth cleanings.  So if you've stopped by "The Bumpy Ride" before, you know what that means... I was NERVOUS!  I've been very careful NOT to let my kids know how much I detest going to the dentist; because I don't want them to be afraid like me.  Luckily, none of them seem to have inherited my dental phobia and I credit this in part to their phenomenal dentist, Dr. Brenke at Kidz-R-Kool Pediatric Dentistry.

I've been taking my kids to Dr. Brenke for years, and he's done everything from a routine exam, to fillings, to sealants to extractions for us; and my kids have never complained, and have NEVER been scared to undergo treatment.  Dr. Brenke and his staff treat the kids with kindness and respect; and they bend over backwards to make sure that the parents are comfortable as well.  Ironically enough, Valerie, who I mentioned in "A New Crown For The Queen," left her job with my previous dentist a few years ago and has been working at Kidz-R-Kool ever since; which gives us an extra reason to be comfortable with our dental care choice.

Dr. Brenke's office is adjoined to our Orthodontist's office, which makes it very convenient if ever the Orthodontist needs to defer to the dentist or vice versa.  Like today for instance, Dr. Brenke noticed that one of Lyndzi's teeth was not going to be able to come in properly because her spacer wire was in the way.  He asked me when her next Ortho appointment was, so I checked my calendar and told him that it was scheduled for May 26.  Dr. Brenke didn't think that it should wait that long; so he personally took Lyndzi next door to the Orthodontist's office and then brought one of the techs back over to speak to me.  We agreed that I'd bring Lyndzi in on Tuesday when Nicky has his next Ortho appointment; and I was most appreciative of his assistance.

All too often I find myself telling you about the inferior service that I've received somewhere; so in the interest of (say it with me) "The Greater Good,"  I feel duty bound to recommend Kidz-R-Kool to all those who are in the Peoria, AZ area.   Heck, even if you're a little bit further away, I think he's totally worth the trip.

It means everything to me that my kids aren't fearful the way that I am, and that they have positive experiences doing the things that they NEED to do for themselves; like having regular dental exams.  I'm also delighted to report that all three of my kids were cavity free, and won't need to be seen for another six months.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-83) Taking Care Of Business

I don't know why it's always so much easier for me to put  everyone else's needs before mine.  If I know that one of my kids or Luis needs something done; I'm Jenny on the spot; and I'm trying to be better about taking care of  myself as well. 

October is the month that I typically have my physical and mammogram; and I have both of those scheduled.  I always take both exams very seriously and this year ESPECIALLY.  My physical is on Wednesday; and I wouldn't say that I'm nervous, because like I've said before; other than being overweight, I believe that I'm in perfect health.  BUT, I really don't want to have to address my weight with the doctor; since I KNOW what I need to do.  My mammogram will be one week later; and I'm not concerned about that either; because I'm sure that as always, everything will be fine.  So OK, I've got the physical covered and the mammogram attended to; so what's that leave; ahh yes; the dreaded, dentist.

As much as I fear, hate, despise, going to the dentist; I do go for my check up and cleaning every six months.  My last check up was in July, and I was told that I had a tiny cavity in one tooth.  Now if the kid's dentist had told me this about one of them; I would have scheduled an appointment on the spot, and for as soon as possible; but because it was for me; I put it off.  Now don't get me wrong, I didn't BLOW IT OFF, I just didn't make an appointment; but not doing so was very much on my mind; since I am the Queen of FOLLOWING THE RULES; and I knew that this was something that I had to do.

Fearing that the cavity would get worse, the longer that I let it go; I decided that it was time to take care of business; and I made the appointment for this morning, at 8am.

Although I still go to the office of the dentist that I wrote about in "A New Crown For The Queen;"  I now, see Dr. V; and she is the kindest, most gentle, dentist that I have ever met.  Dr. V and her assistant, Laura; always go out of their way to make sure that I am comfortable because they know that I have a larger than average dental anxiety.  I've mentioned before that going to the dentist is excruciating for me because, due to problematic sinuses I'm a mouth breather; I have a physically small mouth; AND I have a terrible, fear of needles.  Add all of these things up and they do NOT spell good dental patient; although I try; I really do; and I have gotten better.

Today's filling was actually rather speedy.  I was out of the office within 45 minutes and that includes the extra time that I spent chatting with Dr. V and Laura. They seem to find me amusing; and you know that any time I have a responsive audience; I'm just like the Energizer Rabbit; I keep going and going and going...

I won't go into any details about the filling etc; because really, who wants to read about that; but suffice it to say, that if you live in my area and you're in need of a dentist; I highly recommend Dr. V at Your Family Dentist which is at 83rd Avenue and Cactus; in the Safeway shopping Center.  If you have any questions; feel free to email me.

So, what have I learned today.  Once again I've been reminded that things aren't always as bad as we seem.  I was apprehensive about going to the dentist, but in the long run; it really wasn't bad at all and I wasted precious time being nervous about it.  I also reminded myself that just as I'm responsible to take care of my family; I also have to take care of myself; because I am just as important as they are #1 and #2, if I'm ill or less than; then I'm not going to be as helpful and available to them.  I hope that you all  realize the same.  Take care of YOUR business; so that you can be the best you that you can be.

Till next time...

Queen of EVERYTHING

You Know You Have A Problem When...#6

You Know You Have A Problem When you feel the need to conference call the latest restaurant that you're going to boycott, to inform them that you're going to be boycotting them. ( Need I say more? But you know I will...)

It was two weeks ago that I was feeling a bit like Mommie Dearest where Nicky was concerned. On Monday I took him to the Orthodontist to have his bottom spacer put in and it was not quite what we were expecting. He's had the top spacer for almost a year now, and it's a small piece of plastic (like a MINI retainer) that is affixed to the roof of his mouth and attached by thin wires to two bands on his top, back teeth. I had expected the bottom spacer to be similar, having the plastic sit flush up against the back of his teeth, but this was not the case. Instead, there was no plastic, only a thicker wire, (somewhat like a fat paper clip) in the shape of a U (for lack of a better description) and it backs up to but does not touch his teeth. It just looks like a metal barrier and suffice it to say, I wouldn't want it in my mouth. Nicky was none too happy about it and I apologized profusely but in the long run there was nothing that could be done to make it better; so instead, I made it worse. Nicky's Orthodontic plan for the summer not only included the spacer implementation but also the removal of two permanent teeth and as I had no idea that the spacer would be so unpleasant, I had scheduled his Dentist appointment for Wednesday, FOLLOWING the well checks that I had scheduled at the Pediatrician's for all 3 kids. Thankfully none of the kids needed any vaccinations; so Nicky got a temporary reprieve, but the extractions were unavoidable and my guilt was IMMENSE.

Nicky came through with flying colors and although he was experiencing some discomfort, he did not complain and took it all in stride. Nicky had been given Nitrous Oxide prior to the Novocaine and when I asked him if he had felt the shot, he said "it was just a little pinch." The next day I had an appointment to get a small filling and though I went through my typical anxiety over making a trip to the Dentist; I kept telling myself that I would be brave like Nicky and follow his example, though it may have been a little easier for me if I had Nitrous too. Nonetheless I will admit it was a quick and painless procedure and I think I did Nicky proud.

As all mouths were doing fine, the kids and I went to their swim meet; but we didn't finish until 645pm so I was challenged to find something for dinner that would be both quick and soft, so that Nicky could eat it. I suggested that we get Chinese food from Big Heng because Nicky liked their Lo Mein noodles, no meat, no veggies (which I could order as a side dish) and the girls shared egg rolls and a combo of Terriyaki chicken, and Lo Mein. I didn't order anything for me ( I refer to my list of 100 things #81. Since I try not to eat carbs at dinner, Chinese food has lost it's appeal.)

When I picked up the food I noticed that there were no fortune cookies in the box and since my kids are actually fans of fortune cookies I asked the cashier if I could please have 3. I knew that Nicky wouldn't be able to eat his that night, but I figured with their extensive shelf life he could have it once his mouth had healed. The cashier then informed me that she could only give me two cookies based on what I had ordered. I politely explained that the Lo Mein was for one person and the combo was being shared by two others and the cashier begrudgingly provided me with a third cookie as she was advising me that she would do it this time but her boss would be very upset with her about it. I handed back the third cookie, and told her that she could keep it, but that I wouldn't be coming back. I then proceeded to call Michelle K and say "this is even more shocking than Michael Jackson passing away." I told her the story and then she told me that she had actually ordered food from the same place the night before and that it had been lousy. Then when she took a moment to think about it, she realized that they hadn't been given fortune cookies either, although it didn't bother her at the time. In typical fashion we both agreed to boycott Big Heng; but Michelle really wanted to let them know about it; so we conference called them. I know, I know; WE have a problem; hence the title of this post. Michelle called and asked to speak to the manager which the person who answered the phone claimed to be. Michelle explained that she had ordered $43 worth of food the night before and it wasn't very good AND they weren't given fortune cookies. She then went on to say that her friend had just called and informed her that she had been denied a third fortune cookie with her order. The woman asked what I ordered and I explained. I also informed her that I typically ordered food there once a week and as it so happened I had ordered food twice during this week, but that I would NOT be coming back again. Michelle then asked why the restaurant would give her a free order of Crab Puffs but deny a customer an additional fortune cookie, and that is when we found out about "THE FORTUNE COOKIE POLICY." Yes, you read that right, the "Manager" claimed that I could only have 2 fortune cookies because of the fortune cookie policy, that you receive 2 cookies per entree. The Manager told us that sometimes people received handfuls of cookies and then they didn't eat them, so they installed the fortune cookie policy. I assured her that I wouldn't have asked for the additional cookie if I didn't need it. I asked how I was supposed to get 3 children to share 2 fortune cookies and she told me that she would speak to her boss about changing the policy. I of course told her she could do as she liked, but that I was not going to be coming back, nor was my friend nor whoever else I decided to tell about "The policy." Of course the manager brought up the poor economy, so Michelle suggested that they not give away FREE crab puffs with a $30 order (another unannounced "policy") when cream cheese cost far more than a fortune cookie. I also advised that the effects of losing clientele would be far worse for the restaurants economy than the cost of providing me with one extra cookie. The manager agreed and said that she was going to have a meeting with the boss to discuss the fortune cookie policy. Michelle then asked if it would be an open meeting that we could attend and asked if there was an overcooked Broccoli policy as well. As we laughed like loons, I knew that there was nothing else that needed to be said; and we ended our call.

When I got home the kids immediately asked why there were only 2 fortune cookies and I had to explain to them about the fortune cookie policy. I also explained that we were now going to be boycotting Big Heng and the kids fully understood why (maybe that should be problem # 7 - LOL)

Now do I feel GOOD about the boycott; no not necessarily, but hey it's a matter of principle and I am the Queen of PRINCIPLES. I mean you may read this and think that I am absolutely out of my mind and think that there are far more important things to worry about or focus on, and I don't dispute this; but this "policy" was so ridiculous, and so the type of thing that I encounter all the time, that it just had to be shared because (say it with me) "Who could make this stuff up?"

When Luis called to say he was on his way home, I told him that we were now going to be boycotting Big Heng and he said with a laugh in his voice "Oh I can't wait to hear this one;" and as soon as he walked in the door the kids regaled him with the inane story of the fortune cookie policy. Hmm, Mommie Dearest; maybe not quite but it's going to be an interesting ride for them NO DOUBT ABOUT IT.

Till next time...

Queen of EVERYTHING

A New Crown For The Queen

When last I wrote, I mentioned that I had been even more crazy busy than usual; but in the interest of keeping the blog shorter than a copy of "War and Peace," I didn't elaborate. I know, they tend to be long; but hey, I warned you from the get go AND no one has EVER accused me of being short on words. Queen of MUCH TO SAY; that's me!! But I digress. So now something has happened, (Of course it has;) and though the story is funny in it's own right (Rubberneckers be prepared;) I dunno having a little background as to what my past few weeks have been like, just seem to make it a little funnier; and you know me; I'm all about the funny, so here we go.

About a month ago my husband started telling me that he was having some difficulty breathing when he would walk up stairs. He seemed to think it was attributed to more than the fact that he was overweight and outta shape (Hello Pot, it's the kettle, you're black.) Anyway, he was also complaining of lower back pain and his feet also started bothering him, but he thought that was because he stood on his feet all day, so he bought new work shoes. Ultimately I think he thought that he was having a heart attack so he went to the doctor. I know that he must have really been worried because it usually takes an act of Congress to get him to go. Anyway, the PA told him that his heart sounded great (hallelujah!) and that she thought he just needed a chiropractic adjustment. OK, we can do that, Michelle (not yet legally) K's ex- stepfather is a chiropractor and he has an office just down the street from us, so he thought he'd go there and get to feeling better in no time. UNTIL, he started running a fever that Saturday night. OK, so we fore go the chiro and get him an appointment back at the doctor's. This time he saw a doctor, but the doc wouldn't give him any meds until his lab work came back. (This was Tues) Finally Friday night the labs came back and we found out that he had high levels of strep in his blood. In July he'd had Strep throat, and although he got meds in a timely fashion and took them all; it didn't kill off the strep and now it had been in his blood for months and it worked it's way into his joints, causing him what was now; excruciating pain. He started taking the antibiotics but by Monday night he could not walk without my assistance, yup, his decline was just that rapid. We went back to the doctor on Tuesday. By this point I was driving him anywhere that he needed to go because he was so weak that he couldn't get around by himself. The doctor referred him to a Rhuematologist, who we just saw last Tuesday and then we went back to the regular Dr. this past Wednesday. The doctor ran his blood work again (which we still haven't gotten the results of;) but we're pretty sure the strep is still there because Tuesday night he was running a temp of 102.8. Wednesday morning I took my son to school, and my older daughter stayed home because her throat had been bothering her. (She had stayed home Tues too.) I took my husband to the doctor and waited with him for a half hour, until I had to drive my younger daughter to school. I came back and he had finished seeing the doctor but hadn't come out yet. When he came out he had a prescription for the same medicine that he had just finished. I said "No way!" I asked the front desk girl to call to the back office for me so I could speak to the Dr's. assistant. I told the assistant that my husband had been given a prescription for more of the medication that didn't seem to be helping, and I know that we are limited because he is allergic to Penicillin (of course he is;) but could she please ask the Dr. if Lavaquin would be an appropriate drug to treat him. (Tiffany had told me about that one, because she had taken it for a blood infection once and she too is allergic to penicillin.) 10 minutes or so later the assistant came out and gave him a prescription for Levaquin. Good thing I went to med school huh? Yah, I'm just fortunate that I had a friend who gave me some good advice, since the doctor couldn't be bothered to do his job. Before filling the prescription I checked with the pharmacist to make sure that this would actually be an appropriate treatment (since I wasn't feeling so confident in the doctor anymore;) I mean I don't think he'd give us a prescription for Levaquin just because we were asking for it; but hey, ya never know. Nonetheless, the pharmacist did say it was a good choice, so we filled the prescription, and thankfully he does seem to be getting better slowly but surely; though we still don't have his most recent blood work back, Surprise, Surprise.

I took my husband and daughter home and after picking up my younger daughter, my girls and I headed to the pediatrician only to find out after 2 throat cultures (yes, my poor daughter is deathly afraid of throat cultures had to have 2 because the nurse put the first one down "somewhere" and someone threw it away. Boy, do we have the luck) that she had Strep throat. Let me tell you how tired I am of that word.

OK, so now it's Friday; and I was supposed to have a dentist appointment at 430. They hadn't called to confirm, which is REALLY unlike them, so I called them (Can you believe it?) The receptionist said she was just about to call me because they wanted to see if I could come in earlier, and the appointment was only going to be about 20 minutes. "Easy in and out" she said. She even said that I could bring my kids and they'd watch them. Wow! They must have really wanted me in earlier. I agreed to go at 220; and since all I was having done was putting in 2 crowns, I wasn't even nervous. I've been doing SO much better at the dentist lately. It's amazing what 2 Xanax will do for you. Anyway, since it was supposed to be an "Easy in and out," I didn't take any Xanax. The Dr. put in the crowns and told me to bite down gently, AND, one of the crowns popped off and fell into my throat. OK, so I started to panic AND gag, and the doctor just sat there. I felt like he was watching a cat with a fur ball and he was just waiting for me to cough it up. By this point I was straddling the chair and doing everything I could do to get it out, but it was no use, it was lodged in my throat. He calmly said, "Are you having trouble breathing?" I shouted "NO, but I'm choking, help me get this out; it's stuck in my throat." He then called for his assistant Valerie. I LOVE Valerie, she tried to rub my back and calm me down because at this point I was crying. She asked if I wanted to go into the bathroom and try and make myself throw up. Now y'all know I'm a big girl and I'm sure that I don't look like I'm familiar with the practice of making myself throw up but at this point I was willing to try anything. Val came with me, and I got on my hands and knees (I don't know about you, but that's my official throw up position;) and I tried coughing really hard to make myself throw up, and of course... I wet my pants. I think I was more embarrassed about that, than choking on the crown, so I was trying to do my best to cover it up, while sticking my fingers down my throat. It was at this point that the dentist walked into the bathroom, (we hadn't closed the door;) and told me not to worry about the crown. He said "Don't worry, we're going to have the lab make you a new one at no cost to you." At no cost to me? Was he kidding? First of all, I don't think that while I had a crown stuck in my esophagus, I was worrying about who was going to pay to replace it; and secondly; is he out of his ever lovin mind? Like it would ever be MY responsibility to pay for the replacement - Oh My God!
I was unable to dislodge the crown from my gullet, so I returned to his chair and tried to cover up my semi-wet shorts. He kept telling me not to be embarrassed about the crown. Hell, the crown was not what I was embarrassed about, I mean it's not like I tried to eat it. He went on to say that this had never happened to him before. He said "All of the other dentist's that I know have had this happen; and I was wondering when it was going to happen to me. At least it happened to someone I like." What the hell? What in the world does that mean? You're glad you caused this pain and suffering to someone you like? WHY, because you think I won't sue you? Really, it seemed like everything he was saying was just out of fear of repercussion. He assured me that the crown wasn't toxic and that as long as I was breathing OK (which thankfully I was;) I would be fine. Oh why hadn't I taken some Xanax? He put in the one permanent crown that was left and then said Val would put back my temporary and he'd have the lab to make me a new one, "Maybe even better than the one you swallowed." Dr's funny, oh yah, The Dr. is funny. The only way it could be a better crown is if it doesn't go down my throat.
Ughhh!! "Easy in and out" I said. The Dr. finally excused himself and Val finished up. We talked about how poorly he had reacted, or didn't react as the case may be. I told her, "I'm not mad that it happened, because I know it was just an accident; but I'm mad at how he handled the situation because I felt like he did NOTHING." He didn't try to help me, he didn't try to calm me down, and instead he came into the bathroom talking about the price of the crown. Val said "You really need to blog about this"; and I told her, "Rest assured, I'd be blogging about this one first chance I got." I'm telling you - My dentalphobia has reached new heights now.

I went home and had to explain to my husband why I was at the dentist for so long. My husband said "We need to pray." And right about now, I agree. Anyone know where I can get a vat of holy water? I indeed need to purify my house - this is just insane.

On Saturday morning, The Dr.'s office called. The receptionist asked if I was OK and I said "yes, I'm just disappointed in him." She said that the Dr. wanted to speak to me and though I REALLY didn't want to speak to him, I said OK. The Dr. asked if I had passed the crown. I said "Not that I'm aware of." He said "Not that it can hurt you, but if you don't pass it in a few days, you should go to your Dr and have them take an x-ray so we can see where it is." Oh, good god. This is all I need. So now, I get to be my very own poop inspector. I've never wanted to see something so badly in my poop in my life; but thus far - No crown for the Queen.
Think good thoughts for me, I really don't want to have to go to the doctor, because you know I'm gonna be fighting with him over who's going to pay for that; not to mention that I don't want any complications from this ridiculous occurrence. I'm telling you, I really think I need my own reality show. I mean say it with me "Who could make this stuff up?" Imagine watching my reality show and I'm in the dentist's chair and I'm choking on the crown - can you say Emmy?
Well, please keep us in your prayers
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

What a Difference a Day Makes

On Saturday my kids and I were going over to Michelle K's to color Easter eggs; (good Jew that I am,) and my husband was going to join us after work for pizza and poker; (just the adults for poker, in case you were wondering.) I had invited my friend Jackie (here on out to be know as VaJJ) "why are all of my friends being nicknamed after the vagina? kinda weird - but I digress;" and while we were driving in her "fast car" as my kids call it, VaJJ, who unfortunately is not in the best of health, started showing me the pharmacy that she had in her purse. She pulled out the sealed syringe of one med, and then a bag of Vicodin which she said was for "if she got cramps." If she got cramps; let me tell you, there was enough Vicodin in this bag for "if" the entire female population of Arizona got cramps. LOL But seeing the Vicodin in the bag reminded me of a story, which I told to VaJJ and will now share with you.

About a year ago I was at Tiffany's house and I started experiencing some pain in my mouth. Now I do have a very high tolerance for pain (delivered 3 kids, no drugs;) but mouth pain stresses me out and I cannot handle it because of my "dentalphobia." That's right, mouth pain signifies a trip to the dentist to me and that just scares the bejeebus out of me. I had asked Tiffany for some Ibuprofen which she gladly gave me; AND she told me that she had Vicodin if I wanted to take a couple with me in case the pain got worse. See what did I tell you; Tiffany is always trying to help. =0)
I took the Vicodin with me, but I didn't find the need to take it and thankfully the pain dissipated.

A few weeks later I went over to Kara's house at lunchtime because Kara was on very, very, restricted bed rest with her third pregnancy and I wanted to bring lunch over and have a visit with her.
Another friend needed a favor so she had dropped her daughter off at Kara's for the sitter to watch. The sitter left and I gave Kara's son, my 2 daughters, and the friend's daughter, lunch. When they were all settled I brought lunch and drinks upstairs for Kara and I but I had forgotten to take my apple cider vinegar pill (I was trying yet again to lose weight,) so I went downstairs, took my pill and then joined Kara upstairs. I wanted to chat with Kara but I didn't want to tell her that I had been going through a really bad depression and was feeling lousy. We had a short visit and then I left to pick up my son from school.

About an hour later I was driving to work and I remember thinking to myself "boy, what a difference a day makes; I feel really good today;" and with that I happily went in to work.
A few hours later I was going to eat dinner and I reached into my purse to get out the baggie with my apple cider vinegar pill and much to my surprise there were 2 apple cider vinegar pills in the baggie, when there should have only been 1 since I took one at lunch. Well, I'm sure you guessed it by now; the pill I took at lunch was not apple cider vinegar; but Vicodin. No wonder my day seemed so much better. The Queen of INCIDENTS strikes again. (Now really, say it with me "who could make this stuff up?"
Maybe someone should alert the company that makes Vicodin; not that they need any help I'm sure, but if for some reason they are ever in need of a slogan I recommend that they say "Vicodin - what a difference a pill makes."
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

Dentalphobia

Yesterday was very traumatic for me; and; no, it wasn't because of the Idol results show. LOL
At 8 a.m. my 5 year old daughter had an appointment at the Pediatric dentist. She had gone for her first dental check up in December; and we were almost out the door with a clean bill of health, when the dentist said "bad news, the x-ray's just came back and she has several cavities." I asked if there was any way to fill the cavities without needing a shot and he said "no." I explained that this would be a big problem because she has a terrible fear of shots; she cries at the mere mention of the word - so he referred me to a pediatric dentist who would have other options available, such as nitrous or sedation.
OK, so being the Queen of Dentalphobics (I don't know if that's a real word or not, but I have an awful fear/anxiety about going to the dentist; so it sounds real to me.) Anyway being the Queen of Dentalphobics, I did what any mom (who's not in their right mind;) would do and totally projected my fear by procrastinating to call and make her appointment. I finally forced myself to call on Tuesday and I asked the woman how much it would cost and she said that they couldn't know that until they examined her. I explained that she'd already been examined and that my insurance wouldn't cover a second "initial" exam and that we were on a tight budget. The woman told me that she had a coupon for a free exam and she would let me use that and then we could see what the cost would be from there.

Wow! How nice I thought; and then get this - she fit us in at 8am the very next day.
I tried to prepare my daughter and told her that we were going to a very special dentist for kids; in fact, his office was called Kidz R Kool- and she liked that.
We walked in and his office was unbelievable, there was an arcade with video games (are they still called video games??) and the place looked like something from out of the Incredible's. It was VERY well thought out.
So first came the x-rays - that went alright, then the cleaning; which she didn't really enjoy (but who likes brushing their teeth with bubblegum flavored sand...) and then while we were waiting for the interpretation of the x-rays; all of a sudden it hit me. I had always thought that my dental phobia stemmed from the fact that I have a very ( physically ) small mouth, I am a mouth breather, and an asthmatic; not to mention the fact that I too have a terrible fear of needles; (so much so that I gave birth to all 3 of my children with no epidurals or drugs whatsoever. This choice wasn't made solely because of my needlephobia, "is that a real word?" but it did play a big part in my decision.) Anyway, I thought that I had fully justified my dentalphobia until I realized that one of the big reasons that I hate to go to the dentist is because when they tell you something is wrong, you feel like a failure. Well, at least I do; and being the overachiever that I am, failure is not a comfortable feeling for me!! I mean really, how can you not feel like a failure? Who else can you blame for poor or insufficient brushing or flossing. Yes, periodontal disease can be hereditary (I know all too well about that too - unfortunately) but these other things are all up to you and if you have some cavities or plaque, guess who's to blame? And if your 5 or 3 year old has some cavities or plaque, guess who's to blame? AND it doesn't feel so good, taking all this blame. Hence another reason to AVOID the dentist.

So now they read the x-rays, and suffice it to say that we went from her needing a few cavities filled to her needing 7 cavities filled, her bottom 4 teeth extracted AND the possibility of a "baby root canal." Oh my god; how did this happen? Now I know to read it this must sound pretty extreme, and I bet some of you are thinking that you have a bridge in Brooklyn you could sell me; but I did see the x-rays for myself and her 2 "HUGE" grown up teeth were in her gum line and one of them was growing into one of the baby teeth in a really unhealthy way and would have ultimately come in twisted because there wasn't going to be room for it. Blah, blah, blah.

We all agreed that if I was going to have them do the extractions, everything should just be done at once and they would sedate her. Sedate her, sedate MY BABY. Oy! I thought they were going to need to sedate me as well. All of these ideas were just so overwhelming and as if I wasn't worried enough, now it was time to bring in the big guns - the receptionist with the estimate.
Hold onto your hats... How bout $897.00 plus tax after what my insurance will pay. I tried my best to hold it together, but I AM NOT the QUEEN of Hiding my Feelings. I have no poker face, and I just about lost it. I started to cry because I felt trapped and like a complete failure (there's that word again.) I knew that my daughter needed to have this work done, but the cost was going to be excruciating for us. The receptionist asked if it would help if they waived the $175 sedation fee because "we can do that," she said. I thanked her and told her that anything would help.

Oh, I forgot to mention that before we went over the x-rays, they asked me if I wanted them to examine my 3 year old daughter. I said "I don't know if she'll cooperate," and they said "She's 3 - we expect that." SO I started to ask my daughter "DO you want to have your teeth checked today?" AND at the same time both the dentist and his assistant barked at me "YOU are the parent, you tell her what to do, no 3 year old is going to agree to having their teeth examined." Whew - so now I'm a bad parent for talking it over with my 3 year old. Trust me when I tell you that my children DO NOT run me (well may be this one does;) but I make the decisions, yet I did want to see if she was comfortable with this. What else could these people possibly do to me to make me feel worse?? My daughter did agree so I felt good about having her examined and thank god she was UNBELIEVABLY well behaved and cooperative, (which is SO unlike her;) and luck of luck, no cavities. I actually did something right - I'm still in shock over that one.

While my little one was being examined my 5 year old had drank her sedative and it kicked in pretty quickly. They moved us to the "quiet room," which had a lot of comfy pillows and blankets and stuffed animals and movies - and she slept. They had told me that in 45-60 minutes they would take her in and swaddle her in a papoose and put her on a board and secure her head still and that I was to accompany them for the set up; and then leave the room. I thought this would just about kill me. Luckily, since she was fully asleep when they were to bring her in the room, they seemed to think they could handle it without me, and I did not have to witness this preparation. I think they could also tell that I just wasn't up for it. I was VERY emotional about the whole thing.
Once she was secure they assured me that she was still asleep and the procedure would take about 45 minutes. I think they were the longest 45 minutes of my life; though the 2 Xanax that I took made them seem just like an hour.
When she was done they told me she did beautifully and that she slept the whole time. They told me that she could have some ice cream and then some Motrin or Advil. Then I paid my $840 (She didn't need the "baby root canal" for the additional $250 - hallelujah!) and we left.

We went to get some ice cream and while she was eating she told me that she was afraid she was going to look silly; and she started to cry. I promised her that she was going to look as gorgeous as ever and reminded her that her brother had been without many teeth for a very long time. We went to buy some ibuprofen even though she was reluctant to take it. I let her pick the flavor just in case she did need to take some; but I tell you what - this girl must have some tolerance for pain (she must also get that from me; ) because to this point she still hasn't taken any medicine.

We had told her that if she didn't feel up to it she wouldn't have to go to preschool today and when my husband tried to wake her up to see if she wanted to go she told him that she was going to stay home because she needed to relax. LOL
She had a very good day and when I came home and saw her; I asked how she was and she told me that she liked having her teeth out because it made her "different than other kids." Is my girl exceptional or what?

In a lot of ways I think this whole experience may have been harder on me than it was on her; I mean she slept through the whole thing and I was the one agonizing over what was happening to her. Maybe they should include some sedation for the parent too; because there is NO fear like being scared for your child. I'll have to think of a good expression for that kind of phobia. Fear of your child hurting or being scared. What shall we call that? Oh , I know - Motherhood...
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING