Thursday, March 15, 2007

Reality Bytes

Now you have to know that I had a thing or two to say about American Idol this week; but I was afraid that I had missed the boat since the results were already announced. Then I gave it some more thought, (because I am the Queen of Thinking things over - can you say obsessive??) and finally decided; what the heck - criticism is criticism and should be shared regardless. LOL

So where shall I begin? I know I'll start at the bottom and work my way up.
So what kinda idiot is Brandon? First of all, Brandon said "I'm gonna sing Can't hurry love, because I grew up on that song." So then what happens; well amongst other things, the moron forgot the words. He grew up on the song; yet he forgot the words. Way to go, and go he did; right off the show.
Simon was on the money (as usual) when he told Brandon that he sounded like a back up singer's back up singer. I don't even think he sounded good enough to be a back up singer unless maybe he's gonna be a back up singer for Sangria.

(To the tune "Maria" from West Side Story) "Sangria, I just met a girl named Sangria." HAHAHA- oh I just kill myself. OK, so once again, Lesa was "dead on balls accurate." to quote Marissa Tomei from My cousin Vinnie (there ya go, Michelle K) She told me last night "I was sure that Sangria was going to sing I'm coming out;" OMG good one Lese, but I think it was actually Ryan's night to come out.
For those of you who don't know what I'm referring to, it went a little something like this: Melinda was saying that it was difficult for her to wear high heels and dresses. Ryan then throws it to Simon to make a comment about high heels (since Simon is such a fashion critic these days,) and Simon says "You should know Ryan;" and Ryan says "Stay out of my closet;" to which Simon replies "Come out." OK so to all of this I say, (not that it matters AT ALL;) but what heterosexual man would reply "stay out of my closet" when the subject of high heels comes up? AND I'm only talking about it because of the whole Sangria coming out thing. Anyway back to Sangria.

I thought that Sangria was trying to do a Diana Ross impersonation. Lesa thinks Sangria wants to be Michael Jackson, and everyone knows that MJ wants to be Diana Ross, so bottom line is Sangria was trying to be MJ being Diana Ross. Aagghh!! Too, Too much. You know you have to be REALLY bad when "in a singing competition," the only positive comment you get is about your hair - and while we're on the subject, what the heck was with that hair. Oh my gosh, I thought it was awful.
The only other thing I want to say about Idol before moving on is that I thought Lakeisha and Melinda blew Diana away. I was waiting for the judges to tell Diana that she was shouting. "Not your best performance dawg," is what Randy shoulda said.

So since I don't want this blog to be all about Idol; I'll move on.
Let's talk Amazing Race... (Here ya go Big V- I told you the time would come.) For those of you trying to keep up on my cast of characters, Big V is my treasured friend Ruthie; oh, excuse me, Ruth. Though from here on out she will only be referred to as Big V (my kids even call her Auntie V; they have no idea why or that her name is anything else; but the Big V is a story for yet another time)
OK, so in case I haven't said it before, I LOVE the Amazing Race; it's my FAVORITE Reality show; and since I'm such a fan of the all-star type event (I mean I was a huge Battle of the Network Stars fan - back in the day; and YOU know when the day was.) Anyway, I like Rob and Amber, well Rob anyway. He amuses me but now they're gone "and that's all I have to say about that;" to quote Forrest Gump. Hmm, big quotation blog for me. I feel a theme within a theme emerging...
My other FAVORITE team on the ARAS (Amazing Race All Stars) is Team Cha Cha Cha - Danny and Oswald. I LOVE them; I think they are GREAT and I'm so glad that they're doing well. I hope they kick every one's butts. And speaking of butts, let me now get on to Charla and Mirna.
So, first off, for anyone who doesn't know, Charla is a little person and she runs the race with her cousin Mirna, and these two are probably the most dislike duo in AR history. As much as people don't like having Rob and Amber in a competition, they dislike Charla and Mirna even more. Reason: they are whiny and annoying and quite honestly, though I've never watched it before I'm waiting for the "celebrity" boxing match between Charla and Mirna once Charla watches the show back and sees how Mirna was tooting her own horn and claiming that she has to work harder than anyone else in the race to make up for Charla's umm shortcomings -( haha that was my summation, she didn't use that word;) anyway she was doggin her and criticizing her like there was no tomorrow. EEWWWW Charla's gonna be MAAAADD and rightly so.
Now here's another tidbit about Charla and Mirna. Mirna, who is an attorney; claims to speak 5 languages - and I just have to say, Mirna, "accents and languages are NOT the same thing." OMG - Mirna will get in a taxi and put on what she thinks is a Spanish accent or a mid-eastern accent and try to tell the cab drivers to go or give them instructions. It's so flippin funny. I mean I think once I heard her speak another language, though I don't know what it was; but usually she just tries to feign an accent. So again I say "accent and language - not the same thing."
Here's another example of how hated these two are. In the last episode there was a road block (a task that only one team member may perform ) hmm, I just sounded like Phil (the host) there for a minute. Anyway, the roadblock was to go into this tiny one room post office and sort through the mailbags until you find the letter that has your team's names on it. Now first I have to say Mirna "you are an Ass!" why the heck would you choose to do this roadblock, when Charla had NO limitations on this one that would have hindered her performance. Little people can sort mail just fine, where hmm I don't know she seems to have a more difficult time w/ physical challenges; but you're right Mirna, you should sort the mail. That great reasoning probably comes in handy being a lawyer and all. (I should say for those of you who don't watch the show and just think I'm nuts at this point. Teams have to divide the road blocks, so they must take turns, and you obviously never know what's gonna come up, so If Mirna wasted a challenge like this and is kept from another road block which is more physical - "BIG Mistake, HUGE " To quote Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.
Boy am I getting sidetracked today or what? A particularly BUMPY RIDE. OK, so Charla and Mirna - now; once they find the letter they have to open it and read it and they discover that the letter is from one of the teams that they competed against in their original race. Most people received nice encouraging letters, team Guido received a funny letter and Rob and Amber's was well; not so nice. But Charla and Mirna: Charla and Mirna receive a letter from Marshall and lance; two brothers who HATED them; (and by the way , I hated Marshall and Lance, I thought they were a couple of schmucks! They were in another country trying to get directions and they were complaining that the people didn't speak English. See like I said schmucks! "It's their country numnuts; they don't have to speak ENGLISH"- unless it was England which it wasn't.) Anyway, Marshall and Lance wrote this nasty letter to Charla and Mirna talking about how Mirna is supposed to speak 5 languages and she doesn't even speak English. (I see a theme here for those brothers) But you get the point. Were Marshall and Lance the only people that they could get to write to Charla and Mirna? Are they that hated? Probably. I actually felt bad for them, because they had to read the letter out loud, and I don't think that was very nice of the producers - but oh well; they just don't ask my opinion, so what can I do.

Lastly, since I'm talkin "REALITY;" I would like to mention that Monday is the return of Dancing with the Stars. My husband and I saw the commercial last night and I couldn't have been more excited;. even he knew why... (sing with me) "My boyfriend's back and you're gonna be in trouble, hay na, hay na - yum, yum, Maks!!" (I just threw that part in) Woohoo, may my fantasies begin... Maks is back and I am a happy Queen. Queen of naughty thoughts about a 26 year old guy; I should be ashamed of myself; but he's just TOO beautiful and it's just TOO much fun!! OK, I'm lost in the Maks zone now that I'm thinking about him, so I'd better go.
Till next time...

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