Yesterday I was talking to my friend Trish after I picked up my older daughter from preschool. Trish was telling me how funny she thought my last blog was (Thanks Trish,) and how she was cracking up when I was writing about wanting to leave my 40 lb stomach somewhere after a thrill ride. I told her that I actually deliberated over how many lbs to say, because I have no idea what my stomach would really weigh and that I was hoping that I was overestimating.
Anyway, in the course of saying this I added "because I am the Queen of Sarcasm;" and then I thought - ugghh, I forgot to mention that one. So since I did advise in my last blog that if I was Queen of something, I'd let you know, go ahead, add that to the list - Queen of Sarcasm.
Now, here's the irony, and I don't mean Alanis Morriset - "black fly in your Chardonnay, rain on your wedding day" irony (I'm sure that someone more clever than me has already pointed out that such occurrences are not irony- just unfortunate;) but real irony. I am married to a wonderful, kind, Mexican man and my sarcasm is COMPLETELY wasted on him; as Mexicans (well at least my Mexican,) don't understand sarcasm and the art form that it is. Now, that's irony - the Queen of Sarcasm, and the spouse just doesn't get it. He does; however, think I'm funny for the most part- which I thank god for or my ego would be the size of a pea.
So back to Trish. I was telling her that while I was trying to find a way for my readers to be notified when I posted a blog; I found an article that said blogs were usually brief. Um, I guess I am not the traditional blogger then; because as you may have already noticed, I am NOT the Queen of Brevity. God help me I try, really I do, but I just don't seem to have an internal edit button; and even when I try to make a long story short, or say that I'm going to make a long story short - I DON'T, I just CAN'T, and I'm SO sorry for those of you who have to endure me when I talk; and apparently when I write.
In fact, just after I graduated from college, I was suffering from TMJ (it's a terrible pain in one of the joints in your mouth - to simplify for anyone who hasn't heard of it.) Anyway, I went to a specialist and not only did he remark on how small physically my mouth was (again, REAL irony,) but he said that he would have thought I would have learned to keep my mouth shut long ago. I'm thinking he thought it could contribute to the pain because of the stress on the joint?? (But who knows -it's just funny.) He also told me NOT to keep my mouth open for long periods of time - (But that would be another story, perhaps an X rated one - LOL) Anyway, self admittedly, NOT the Queen of Brevity - so if you're looking for a brief blog; I'm probably not for you, BUT that article did also say that some people post several times a day - and figure, there's no way that I'm gonna be able to do that. I probably won't even post everyday. So maybe one long post will be OK then?? At least I hope so.
So back to my husband. My husband is the Front Desk Manager at a resort in Scottsdale; and as such, people are often turning items in to him that they have found in their rooms or at the pool or whatever. He also finds quite a bit himself when he walks the property. Actually he finds stuff everywhere. I mean a few years ago we were in the ocean in San Diego, and he found a wallet, yes in the ocean. It had like $60 which yes, he kept because he turned the wallet in to the lifeguard and you know he would have kept the cash- (the lifeguard).
So anyway - he finds stuff. OK, so when someone turns something in at the resort, they have the option to put their name on it and if no one claims it in 90 days - it's theirs. Most often, people opt not to put their name on it, so my husband then puts his. This process has turned out really well for him as he's gotten a Baum and Mercier watch (valued at over $2000) gift cards, jewelry (though nothing I've liked unfortunately because I guess I'm the Queen of Picky) and enough sun glasses to open his own store.
Well yesterday when he met me at my job (so that I could go to work) he showed me a pair of Ralph Lauren sunglasses (w/ a case that said Ralph Lauren) and he asked me if I thought they were boys; ( because of the size, shape etc.) I said "yes." Aha - just "yes" believe it or not; LOL and then he said that he was going to give them to my son (7 1/2 yrs old) and I said "ok," aha - just "ok," LOL and then I went to work.
When I got home that night, my son was very excited to show me the sunglasses as well as the case that they came in. My son said, "Look at my cool new sunglasses. Dad gave them to me because a boy at the hotel lost them. His name was Ralph Lauren." Well, you know I just laughed hysterically, and I asked my son why he thought the boy's name was Ralph Lauren and then he showed me the case; which (I told you) said 'Ralph Lauren.' OMG - Too funny. So I explained to my son that Ralph Lauren was the name of the designer that made the glasses, not the name of the boy. See who could make this stuff up??
Oh, and don't even think about posting that you lost a Baum and Mercier watch or a wallet with $60 - and you wondered why I didn't post the Resort name - hahaha I am NOT the Queen of Gullible.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING