Tuesday, March 27, 2007

What the faux

Disclaimer: I wish that I could say I was the clever one who came up with this title; but unfortunately for me, all the credit has to go to none other than Lesa G; who emailed her comments to me under that title, before I had the chance to blog. Girlfriend, you are just TOO FUNNY!!

So I was at work tonight and I got a call from Big V (who lives in NY;) and all she said was "I expect a blog about Sangria's hair tomorrow." She didn't want to give me any information about the hair or the show, since it would be hours until I would get to see it; but of course my curiosity was peaked.
So as not to disappoint Big V; here we go...
Now do I really have to say it? I'm not thinking that it needs to be said because you know that you are all thinking the same thing as me, but OK, I'll say it, "What the faux??" First off, does this fool, (and by fool you all know I mean Sangria) have any clue that everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, is making fun of him? Who in his/her? right mind would come out with their hair like that, and then be SO smug as to tell Simon "You're just mad because you can't pull it off..." Yah right Sangria, I'm sure Midas Cowell is sitting at home tonight, sobbing in his champagne because he can't pull off the pony hawk or faux hawk, or whatever you want to call it. I'm CERTAIN that he is at home right now, reproaching himself for missing his opportunity to wear such a 'do' and "make a complete ass of himself!! " I must wonder though how many jr. high or high school kids are gonna try and pull this off now?? I bet Simon will be "mad" at them too. LOL
OK Sangria let's talk about your singing? now. OY! It was like watching a train wreck. You saw the train coming and you knew it was going to happen and there was nothing you could do to prevent it, and now in the aftermath you know that we are all helpless; thanks to the losers at VFTW - you morons! I mean could Sangria at least have tried to sing; to compete? I think he's just getting a little too cocky about being lousy. Now how's that for mediocre?? Or maybe it's not mediocre, maybe he's an insane genius who's trying really hard to be lousy. Umm, nope, I think I'd have to go with, he's just lousy; which is even less than mediocre.
Simon pretty much summed it up when he said "it's out of our hands." At this point you've just gotta know that Howard Stern & VFTW are just travelling full steam ahead; and sad to say but I'd be shocked (though delighted,) if Sangria did get voted out tomorrow.

So while I'm on the subject of drag queens ... Am I the only one who noticed that Phil Stacey had an INCREDIBLE amount of make up on? And with that hat, I thought I was looking at one of the guys from La Cage after the show. (You know leaving in their guy clothes but still with their make up on.) I mean I love drag queens as much as the next person, maybe more. I'm a huge Too Wong foo fan and I loved Connie and Carla; and since most of you probably have no clue what either of those are, you can probably take my word that I love drag queens more than the next person; yet, I was just surprised to see one on idol, and in guy clothes. At least give us the whole show and put on one of those FABULOUS dresses that drag queens always seem to have.

On a positive note. I love me some Gwen Stefani. I thought she was the most honest guest we've EVER seen. You go Gwen! I thought Gina brought her A game back; and being the 70's dance music QUEEN, I've always LOVED "Heaven knows;" and I LOVED how Melinda sang it; I just don't LOVE to look at her so much... She looks a little peculiar to me and I can't quite put my finger on it; though tonight I couldn't tell if what she was wearing under her boobs/waist was supposed to be a belt or a bra?? I didn't hate the whole outfit, like Simon did; I just didn't like the belt/bra? The judges raved about Lakeisha but I didn't think that she brought it tonight; BUT, Jordin did. I loved the song, I loved the outfit even though it wasn't the most flattering, and my husband thinks that her earrings were SO big, to make her face look smaller. HAHA

My bottom 3: Sangria of course, Haley (because I don't have a good reason not to want her in the bottom 3) and Chris Sligh. I LOVED that the judges ripped him a new one. You have to know that he got those awful comments as a punishment for his shout outs to Dave last week. HAHA Chris, now who's feeling the worst??
Let's keep our fingers crossed that America did the right thing this week.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

2 comments:

Ryan Seacrust said...

Are you kidding me. Sanvajayjay has got to be killed. Maybe Chris will sit on him for votes on VFTW and put us out of our misery. I would love to see him on the street and go up with scissors and cut off his hair, omigosh, we all can dream can't we. And yes Phil is a drag queen and he did a terrible job on his brows tonight, they were almost three inches thick, maybe he should share some of his makeup with his wife, she needs a drastic makeover. And what is the deal with American Idol needing that extra 7 min. It really messes up my tivo, find some real producers, then maybe you could also run your stupid ass show "politically" and kick that faggot Sanvajayjay off so we don't make anymore little girls cry. He never had a "YO' factor, he's got to go.

Michelle K said...

Okay, re: Melinda, she has "Bette Midler syndrome" whereby the person has no neck and a giant, pelican-jawed head placed directly on top of her sternum, and the rest of her body is too small for her head. AKA, she's a Bobblehead. Do you think VFTW is paying these clowns money to sing worse? They sang well enough at first...enough to get past the panel and through to Hollywood - someone got to them.
No one is as blatantly awful as Sangria without a purpose. YOU ARE HYSTERICAL re: Midas Cowell!!! HAHA!!!