Sunday, July 10, 2011

(43-348) The Lazy River

Let's pick up where I left off in "An Accident Waiting To Happen."  I did in fact spend a couple of hours, floating around the Wet 'n' Wild lazy river, and although there were some challenges involved - ultimately it was quite relaxing.

Now I'm sure that I can guess what you're thinking, "How can the lazy river be challenging?"  Well, ya know I'm gonna tell ya; so put on your seat belts...  So you'd think just getting your butt into an inflatable tube and floating away wouldn't be very complicated; but I seem to have a knack for making simple things difficult.  The truth is that getting into the tube has only become a problem in recent weeks, because I fear calf spasms.  "WHAT?"  I hear ya... well the thing is that my mom used to occasionally get these terrible spasms in her calves (in the middle of the night) and I remember that she would cry out in pain. I think it was 1996 when I experienced my first calf spasm (in the middle of the night), and I've gotten them a couple of times a year ever since.  If you've never had one, consider yourself LUCKY, because not only does it hurt like a biotch at the time, but there is residual pain and cramping the next day that I wouldn't wish on anyone.  Anywho, a couple of weeks ago I went to plop into my tube and as I was trying to do so BOTH of my calves went into spasm at the exact same time.  I was totally surprised and in extreme pain - so that has scarred me off of attempting the direct jumping up and getting in method that I used to employ.  Having to devise a new technique for getting my ass into the tube, I tried bringing the tube to the steps so that I could kinda step into the water and sit down on it but this can inconvenience others, and gosh knows I hate to do that.  Well the first time I that I got into the lazy river yesterday, I tried that method and it worked fine but when I went to get in a second time, the lifeguard at the entrance was very strict and I was afraid that she was going to yell at me.  I know - I'm not sure what sounds more pathetic, the fact that this teen life guard was "mean" or the idea that I was afraid of her yelling at me; but you know what I mean, I wasn't "AFRAID" I just didn't want her to say something to me and call attention to the fact that I had to get into the lazy river like such a spaz. 

OK, so now I'm floating comfortably in my tube, but it's Saturday night at Wet 'n' Wild and the lazy river was quite busy, so people were bumping tubes left and right, and while bumping tubes, they'd also bump into my foot or knee.  Ya get it now?    It's OK to laugh at me, I'm TRYING to entertain you.

Anyway, we were floating around the LR and I really was relaxing.  My friend Jenny had met us there with her kids, so she and Luis and I were happily chatting as we went round and round.  At one point I said to Jenny, "by the way, if you ever lose anything here, make sure that you go to lost and found promptly, because we went in there to look for a dress and swim suit that we believe Lyndzi forgot there and we were told that they only keep items for a week and then donate them to the Salvation Army because they have a small-ish closet for the lost and found articles so they can't retain them long."  Um, hello Wet 'n' Wild, THIS STINKS!  People can't always get back to you or your lost and found within a week.  Heck sometimes it takes longer than that to even realize you've lost something, and hello, I spent good money on the dress and swim suit that Lyndzi lost.  I think that you make enough money to perhaps, I dunno BUY A BIGGER CLOSET maybe. Sheesh!  (That shoulda been a job for Rosanne Rosannadanna but I didn't want to confuse the matter even more.  But if you fancy an extra giggle, just re-read that part in her voice, and you may be extra amused.)

OK, so you'll never guess what happened next.  Just after I finished telling Jenny about the lost and found, she started reaching into the pocket of her swim suit and she got this perplexed look on her face.  I asked what was wrong and she told us that what I was saying about the lost and found made her want to check that her season passes, driver's license and debit card were in her pocket, and in fact they were not.  She said that she'd put them in a plastic baggy but they weren't there now.  She said that she "might" have left them in her bag so she was going to go check, but given the amount of time that she was gone (2 laps round the LR) Luis and I didn't think that she'd found them.  We got out of the LR to check on her and I saw two employees putting on diving masks and getting into the LR.  I imagined that they might be doing this to help Jenny and sure enough, they were.  Jenny said that she'd gone to the lost and found but her things weren't there.  She said that they were re-printing her passes and that they'd have workers go check the filters.  Jenny was remarkably calm and she said we could all just get back in the LR; and THIS is when I had great difficulty doing so.  With Luis' help I managed to get situated in a tube, but I was highly embarrassed.  

By the time we left for the evening, I was limping even worse than when we got there; and no, Jenny's belongings weren't found.  When I got up this morning, I felt sore but better; so I guess all that soaking really was beneficial because when I took my kids over to Michelle M's today, she and I got in the pool with them for a while, and I even managed to play two rousing games of water volleyball with them.   We played a couple of great games and had a terrific time.  I'm thankful to say that I am feeling MUCH better now, and I think I owe it all to the water. As for Jenny, her things were not found, but she's got the matter under control. 
Till next time...

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