What I REALLY Said - My ABC15 Interview...

While I don't fancy myself a political activist; if you've ever read "The Bumpy Ride" before, then you know that I'm all about the (say it with me), "GREATER GOOD"; and that first and foremost, I am ALWAYS an advocate for my children, and what is in the best interest of their greater good as well as that of children in general. If you're new to the "The Ride" then  you just received a master class in where the name was derived from.  (Short cuts are rarely taken and I tend to over explain - but I thank you for indulging me and I hope that you'll enjoy it.)  I'll also quickly explain for those new "Riders",  that while I consider most of my writing to be observational humor, I also feel compelled to write about ANYTHING that I believe will promote the "GREATER GOOD".  So here we go...

Now, I've been known to voice my opinion here before, in regard to certain political candidates; I'm not going to pretend that I haven't.  And while I could easily get on my soapbox and rally on about how despicable I find our new Governor, (Doug Ducey) to be; or how appalled I am that someone as inexperienced as Diane Douglas could be elected State Superintendent of Public Instruction when she has never even taught a day of school in her life; THIS post is not about that. No, this post is about the Four day school week that the Peoria Unified School District (PUSD) proposed and what exactly I said during my interview with Channel 15 yesterday.

So let me back this up a bit...  In anticipation of the drastic cuts that would be made to the Arizona education budget, the PUSD put out a survey to ask parents what they thought about a Four day school week. My immediate reaction was "NO!", but when I responded in kind on the survey, it then presented the options of:  Four day school week OR cut nurses, librarians, cafeteria workers, security, buses, extracurricular activities, administrators etc. etc. etc.  The list seemed endless and I was perplexed.  I couldn't imagine our schools doing without all of the services that were mentioned, and so Luis and I discussed it and agreed that the four day week was the lesser of the evils.  We still had grave concerns about it, but we also felt that there was no choice.

I kept the survey and the possibility of the four day week in the back of my mind, as more and more I saw Facebook posts about an effort to Recall Diane Douglas, (and I jumped on that bandwagon). Then more recently, I saw my very own friends Brooke Kistner and Lisa Best start a grassroots effort to protest the proposed Education budget cuts at the capitol.  I was inspired by their dedication and commitment to inform Arizona's parents about the dangers of the budget cuts; and I felt very guilty that I wasn't able to join them at either protest due to work and scheduling conflicts.  So, when Lisa sent me a text on Wednesday and asked me how I felt about the four day school week proposal and if I would be willing to speak with a reporter from channel 15,  I responded and told her that I didn't like the idea of the four day week, and that while I was a pretty good public speaker when given the opportunity to rehearse, I didn't believe that I did very well on the fly.  Lisa called me and we discussed our points of view and she told me that she thought I would be fine to do the interview, so although I was very nervous about it; I felt that the time had come for me to do my part, and I said "yes."

Justin  Pazera called me on Wednesday afternoon and asked me if I was in favor of the four day week and I said "no"; but our conversation was so brief that I didn't have time to clarify my position.  So as soon as we met in person on Thursday morning, I told him not to take his equipment out of the car until I was able to explain my point of view, as perhaps it was not what he was really looking for.  I told Justin that while I don't like the idea of the four day week, I thought it was the lesser of the evils. He went on to take out his equipment (now that almost sounds like another kinda blog right there...) but I digress; and we spoke on film and off, for over a half hour.  Justin asked if I was happy with the PUSD aside from the proposal and I told him that I was thrilled.  I explained that I have three children that attend three different schools in the PUSD and that I was so grateful that they each had the opportunity to get their individual educational needs met.  Nicky is a straight A, honors student at Peoria High School and he participates in MESA (Mathematics, Engineering and Science Achievement) in addition to being a Varsity swimmer.  Lyndzi is a great student and an award winning artist who attends Foothills Fine Arts Academy for their Visual Arts program and Kelsie an equally great student, attends Apache Gifted Academy.  He asked why I was opposed to the four day week and I went on to say, that I know there are a lot of children who already have difficulty making it through the school day, so lengthening it concerned me.  I thought that it may be unfair to students and teachers alike in terms of their daily workloads; because Nicky typically comes home with several hours worth of homework as it is.  I explained that while childcare wouldn't be an issue for me, I recognize that their are many parents with young children who may be faced with a dilemma about who would watch their children and how they would pay for it; and ultimately that could effect the economy.  Lastly, I expressed concern for the children whose only meals are the ones that they receive at school, and how missing a day may mean an extra day that they go unfed.

I then explained that although my concerns about the four day week are many; I fear the cuts that would have to be made more.  For children who take medication at school, how could their be no nurses?  How would schools run without administrators?  I want my children to receive a quality education that equals those from other states, and I worry that if extracurricular activities are cut, my son will fall short on his college applications when he is competing for spots with students who appear to be more well rounded.  I mean what is he supposed to say in an essay... "I would have continued to participate in MESA and swim team but the state of Arizona cut the funding."  That's heartbreaking to me!  My children are dedicated students who already have plans for their future and I don't want to see their dreams shattered, because we reside in Arizona and our government is showing us that they don't value public education.  Justin said "So what do you do?"  And my initial response actually surprised me a little... I said "Pray", but then I KNEW that was my opportunity to REALLY talk about what can be done, so I added, and VOTE, and make phone calls and sign petitions and make sure that you help to get the word out that this state is in big trouble and that our children's future depends on people making informed decisions when they vote, and not just choosing a candidate because of the party initial next to their name, as that person's interests might not represent your own at all.

I made it VERY clear to Justin that I applauded the PUSD for coming up with an alternative to the extreme budget cuts, but my bigger concern was that Arizona is in this position to begin with.

Justin asked me to show him photos of my children.  He asked me to flip through them and he assured me that it wouldn't look silly (but I beg to differ.)   I asked Justin to make sure to edit out the part where I used the word "thrilled" three different times to describe the PUSD as I was embarrassed to use the same word repeatedly; and not only did he oblige me there, but he edited out almost everything that I said and added in something that I didn't; which was that I was concerned that my kids would continue to get good grades, if the four day week went into effect.  I said I was concerned about the workload, and scheduling but rest assured, I have every faith that my kids will continue to be good students regardless of if they are in school four days a week or five.

I think my family and I have learned several valuable lessons through this experience:
1.  You have to stand up for what you believe in and not just complain.
2.  You have to do your part when something matters to you - even if it's scary to do so.
3.  You need to be informed, because ignorance may cost you and those you love more than anyone  can afford.
4. You need to share your knowledge, so AZ friends if you haven't already joined the following Facebook communities, please do:  Recall Diane Douglas, Recall Doug Ducey,  and FundAZFuture
5.  The media shows you what they want to show you.  They slant things to fit the story that they're trying to tell.

Here's my very brief  abc15 interview , if you'd like to watch it.   I'm just gratified that I was able to use "The Bumpy Ride" as my vehicle to share ALL of my points of view on this matter, with you.

Till next time...
Paige

A Brand, New Ride

Safeway is not usually my supermarket of choice (no offense Safeway); but it does happen to be the closest grocery store to my house, so I run in there -(OK - if you know me in real life, you KNOW I don't RUN anywhere); rather I stop there for any last minute necessities or bagels.  I'll give them that.  Compared to their competitors, for a supermarket, they have a decent bagel - but I digress...

So I stopped at Safeway for a couple of things and as I was attempting to select some bananas, I was mesmerized by the woman who breezed by, picked up a bunch, put them in her cart and moved on.  "REALLY?"  I thought, "It's just that easy for her?  No perusing for bruising or checking for firmness?  Just - oh these are bananas, I'll just take em and go?  Wow!  What must THAT be like?

Now I'm sure you're thinking (because you know I HAVE to tell ya what I think you're thinking.) "Seriously?  No blog for five months and she just starts off about picking some bananas like that has ANYTHING to do with (say it with me), "The Greater Good?"  But alas, it does... Somehow, standing there and thinking those thoughts I knew it was time for me to get back to "The Bumpy Ride", which some might say, is for the "Greater Good."; and that is why I chose to start out this long, overdue, post by telling you about the bananas rather than lamenting over what I've been doing and why it's been so long since I've written.

Trust me when I tell you that I don't consider myself any busier than the next person.  Which is to say, that I don't think you need to hear my excuses about how busy I've been and why I haven't been able to write. I can assure you that I am fully aware of the irony of my situation.  It baffles me how I managed to write "The Ride" everyday for a year last year and yet this is the first time in months that I've been able to make time to write.  But I swear to you, it's not for lack of wanting to.  If you're not a first time Rider, then you know I'm the Queen of COMMITMENT and over the past several months, I've had MANY.  So rather than telling you why I've been busy - in the interest of (say it with me) "The Greater Good", I'll tell you what I've learned...  One of the most important jobs of a parent is advocating for the best interests of your child - academically, athletically, emotionally, and psychologically.  It's often hard to know what to do, but it's your responsibility to figure it out and do all you can to help your child achieve all that they're capable of.  I learned that perseverance and honesty pay off. I learned that forgiveness is freeing and that confidence is the cure for anxiety.  I learned that no matter how full your home is, there's always room for one more.  I learned that making people feel good, safe and happy is one of the greatest things I do and its reward is more precious than money.  I've learned that old dogs can learn new tricks.  I've learned that even if your pockets are empty and times are tough, you can always find ways to be charitable.  I've learned that (as I've suspected), I really do have my finger on the pulse of  what's hot and upcoming.  Yes, last year alone, I wrote about Alex Guarnaschelli and how awesome I thought she was and now she's like the Food Network's next big deal.  Just check them out, she's popping up on all their shows. Also, you may recall that I predicted Billy Crystal would host the next Oscars and HELLO, have you heard??   I've learned that time can heal wounds, that help sometimes comes from the most unexpected places and that "Can't" means you haven't REALLY tried.  I've learned that you need to love and accept yourself even when you're not exactly as you'd like to be.  And lastly, (well probably not lastly, but lastly for the sake of this list),  I've learned that I'm not ready to give up on my dream.  And so, if you'll have me, I REALLY want to try and get back on track and start sharing my stories with you again.  There will be tales and pictures from my New York trip, I promise!  As well as all the observational humor that I can muster, and as many recommendations that I can make for yes, (say it with me again) "The Greater Good."

A GREAT big thank you to all of you who've encouraged me to start writing again and to everyone who has missed me and "The Bumpy Ride."  I've made a few changes, such as "The Ride's" new appearance, (please share your thoughts on that), my updated profile picture, AND I've decided that since all the things I am or am not Queen of, really just make me who I am; I'll now be signing off -
Till next time...
Paige

(43-180) The Toddler Laws Of Property

If you've ever read "The Bumpy Ride" before; I'm sure this title seems untimely.  If you're new to The Ride; I'll explain that it's been quite some time, since I've personally had a toddler.  My son, Nicky is now 11 1/2, my daughter, Lyndzi is nine and my youngest; Kelsie, is seven.  But when Kelsie was two, I bought her a t-shirt with "The Toddler Laws Of Property" on it, and I've kept it all this time; because I wanted to use what was written on it for a scrapbook page; ONE DAY.

Sure; I could have written down what was on the shirt, and then gotten rid of it; but this is me that we're talking about, and I don't always do things the easy way.  I'll be honest, I'm not even sure where the shirt was.  I thought I had it on the top shelf of Kelsie's closet; yes, yes, I'm going to stick with that.  It WAS on the top shelf of Kelsie's closet; so what it was doing downstairs, and wet at that; I have no idea; but that's where and how I found it this morning.

I re-read the shirt; and it gave me the same chuckle that it did, years ago when I first saw it.  If you've never seen this shirt, and you have a toddler, have had a toddler or ever met a toddler; I think it will give you a smile too:

The Toddler Laws Of Property
1.  If I like it, it's mine
2.  If it's in my hand, it's mine
3.  If I had it a little while ago, it's mine
4.  If it looks just like mine, it's mine
5.  If I think it's mine, it's mine!

I loved when my children were babies, so small and new; and as they grew into toddlers, I cherished those moments too.  Everything was a discovery, what foods tasted like or why different things worked the way they did; including themselves.  Each of my children were so different from each other; which is why I never would have bought this shirt for Nicky or Lyndzi; but for Kelsie, it was perfect. With each child I learned more about individuality, patience and flexibility. Oh I loved having young children; but, there is definitely something to be said for the blessing of communication.  As your children get older they are able to tell you when something is hurting them or they don't feel well.  You are able to talk with them about their happiness and their sorrow; and you are able to merge your relationship to where not only are you parenting them; but you're enjoying each others company.

I'm so glad that I came across Kelsie's shirt today.  It reminded me of how far we've come and how much fun and love we've shared getting there.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-171) Do Over...

If anyone would have told me that what started out as  a fun and innocent evening would turn into one of the most challenging nights of my life; I wouldn't have believed them.

Tonight our school held an event at Great Skate; and because Nicky is on student council, he needed to attend.  As none of my kids had ever skated before, nor showed  any interest in skating; I told them that they could use their admission price to buy tokens rather than rent skates; because that's what my friend Jen; (who's one of the student council advisors,) had told me. 

As soon as we entered the building, each of my kids saw friends from school.  They went to go play games; and I sat with Jen.  Being at the roller rink brought back a lot of memories for me; as back in the day, I was a big (say it with me) "HUGE," fan of disco roller skating.  All of a sudden the lights were turned down, and there were disco lights galore; and a remix of "ring my bell" blaring over the sound system.  At one point they played Debbie Deb's "When I hear music," and I was transported back to Studio 59 for a midnight roller skating session.

It didn't take very long for my kids to use up most of their tokens; so I anticipated an early exit.  But then all of a sudden, Lyndzi looked like she was about to cry; and I've told you many times before; Lyndzi isn't really a crier.  I asked Lyndzi what was wrong, and she said "nothing;" but I know her better than that; and the expression on her face, told me that there was definitely something bothering her.  After several minutes of prodding; Lyndzi said "roller skating looks fun."  I said "it is." And then she said that she wanted to try skating.  I asked if she'd be willing to spend her own money to do so, since I'd already paid for them to get in; and after thinking about it for a minute or two; she said that she would pay; and Nicky and Kelsie agreed as well.

I'm not quite sure how I went from no one wanting to skate, to everyone wanting to skate; but that's exactly what happened.  All three kids took out their money and went to get skates, but they came back cash in hand, because the person at the skate rental told them that they didn't have to pay for skates since they paid to get in.  I told them that they did have to pay, because they had gotten tokens rather than skates, for their entrants fee; and I went to the office and paid the additional $5 per child.

Nicky and Lyndzi got their skates on.  Kelsie had to wait for Lyndzi to finish so that she could borrow her socks; as she hadn't worn any.  Nicky looked a little shaky, and I accompanied him across the carpet until he got on the rink; and he actually made it around the skating floor on the first attempt.  I then tried to help Lyndzi; but she proved to be a lot more challenging.  Lyndzi could barely stand up on the skates, and I found that I had to hold onto her so tightly to keep her from falling, that I was afraid that I was going to break her arm.  Lyndzi tried to remain upright, but was having a very tough time. 

I was watching Lyndzi like a hawk, and I noticed a dad that was in shoes, not skates; and he was assisting his son, out on the rink; so I decided to do the same.  This may not have been my brightest idea, because I was wearing flip flops as usual; and my toes were not prepared or protected for what happened next.

I tried several different approaches to helping Lyndzi, and after a few minutes; the DJ announced that parents without skates, who were trying to help kids, had to go in the center of the rink.  Lyndzi and I made it there successfully, and although Lyndzi fell numerous times; and smashed my toes more times than I could count; I thought that she had made some progress. We got off of the rink as the DJ turned the lights down lower, and advised that for this song you needed to have something that was glow in the dark, in order to participate.  This gave us a reprieve.  Lyndzi decided to take a break and lend Kelsie her socks.  Kelsie had been waiting very patiently; and as I tried to help her skate across the carpet; I was hopeful that she would be the one that skating would be easier for; but alas I was wrong.

I helped Kelsie from the carpet to the rink, but cutting across the floor to get to the center, was almost impossible.  I managed to get Kelsie to the middle of the rink with the skate guards assistance; but once we arrived there, Kelsie was frustrated.  I tired not to make a big deal about getting kicked, and rolled over; but I failed miserably; because after the umteenth time; I blew.  I didn't yell at Kelsie, but I definitely lost my patience.  I was almost in tears because my legs and feet were hurting so badly; but Kelsie WAS in tears; and that just made me feel worse.  Kelsie felt responsible for hurting me and she desperately wanted to get off of the skating floor; but the crowd was bigger and moving faster, and it was even more difficult than getting on.  As Kelsie and I tried our best to get across the floor; I remember thinking to myself, "I hate this; I absolutely hate this."  By the time we got off the skating floor; Kelsie was in full blown hysterics; and Lyndzi came running over and began to wail as well. Kelsie was sobbing and implored me to let her sit down right then and there so that she could get the skates off; but I told her that I would get her back to our table.   I felt awful!  It seemed to me, that I had failed my children in the worst kind of way.  They deserved so much better than me tonight; and this thought hurt me more than any injury that I'd endured.

I begged the girls to stop crying and I did my best to assure them that they had done NOTHING wrong.  I told them that I was so proud of them for attempting to skate, and for spending their own money to do so.  I apologized for losing my patience, and for getting frustrated; and they excused it all. But I was still miserable.  To know that I had been the cause of my children's pain; I felt ashamed.  I wished that I could have handled the situation better; but I was exasperated. I was afraid that the kids were going to  fall and get hurt.  I was fearful that I was going to break their arms, with as tight as I had to hold onto them to keep them from falling; and I was in pain from my injuries.

It is true that I am my worst critic; and that I don't cut myself any slack; however, I am the first one to tell you when one of my kids does something remarkable; and I''ve been known to give myself a pat on the back as well; so being the Queen of FAIRNESS, I also have to tell you, when I have completely missed the mark.

As soon as we left the rink; I held my kids close and apologized profusely. They then started to cry and apologized as well.  I begged them to believe that they had nothing to apologize for; and they tried to convince me of the same.  Oh if ever it was possible to have a Do Over; tonight would be the night that I'd want to re-do.  I don't know exactly what I would do differently; but whatever it is, it would be done in away that my children didn't feel guilty for wanting to try. 

Oh how I wish tonight never happened.  If only life were like a Disney movie, and I had a fairy Godmother who could wave a magic wand and make tonight go away.  It's not that I have to be perfect; I just have to be better.  Better than what I was; because they so deserve it. 

I told the kids that I was so happy that they had given roller skating a try; and that if they had any interest in trying again; they could.  I can only pray that this evening didn't make them afraid to try new things because without trying, you only insure that you fail. 

Oh this one's gonna haunt me for a while; but hopefully a good dose of snuggling will make it somewhat better for everyone.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-90) It Ain't Over...

As disturbed as I was by my conversation with the "Art Teacher;"  I decided that I needed to address the matter further; so this morning I went to see the Principal.  The Principal wasn't available, so I left a message with her secretary; and within a few hours, I received a call.

I thanked the Prinicpal for calling and reminded her that we'd spoken about the "Art Teacher" previously.  I explained that I'd met with the "A.T" on Friday, because I was interested to find out why Lyndzi had received a 95 on her progress report and an 87 on her report card.  I explained that Lyndzi had a recognizable talent; and provided details of some of her artistic accomplishments; so that she would understand why Lyndzi's grade was surprising.  I then went on to tell her that the "A.T" had made several statements that I found disturbing; but the worst was that she had never met more undisciplined children than those that attended our school.  The principal was not pleased to hear this.

If you've already read "The Art Thief;" then you know what else I told the Principal.  And what the Principal told me; was that they are very concerned about the "A.T."  They met with her on Friday and the were going to be meeting with her again today.  They have her scheduled to attend several workshops that they feel she will benefit from; and will aid her in becoming more equipped to teach at our school.  She also guaranteed me that they are taking all of our concerns very seriously.

I advised the Principal, that I am at the school often, because I volunteer at least once a week; and I informed her that I've spoken with a number of parents who had very critical opinions of the "Art Teacher;" though they may not have made her aware of them.  And then, because I know that she's from New York; I threw in " What can I say, maybe I'm just an outspoken New Yorker; but when I feel that there is something wrong; I have to address it head on."  With that, the Principal said "You're from New York?  I'm from New York;" and we had a pleasant lil chat about that.   Now don't get me wrong; I don't think that the Principal gives my allegations more credence because I'm a New Yorker; I'm just saying that a common bond never hurts.

The Principal assured me that she knew that I was complaining because I love my children and I was concerned about our students in general.  And she encouraged me to contact her any time I had misgivings or questions about something that was going on at school.  I felt that Principal had listened to me and was taking my accusations seriously; so I couldn't have asked for more; FOR NOW.

As it so happens; both Kelsie and Lyndzi have art tomorrow; so we'll just have to wait and see how that goes.  AND, if either of my girls has anything unsavory to report; guess where I'll be heading?  
Till next time,,,
Queen of EVERYTHING

TOOT TOOT!

I love ALL of my children with ALL of my heart (I'm sure that I don't REALLY have to tell you that;) and even though I love all of them equally, I am VERY well aware that when I talk about my children; Nicky and Lyndzi almost always come off sounding like angels and Kelsie like the perpetual thorn in my side.   Oh, Kelsie is my very strong willed child.   The one who is always pushing the envelope  and pushing me to my limits.  Kelsie keeps me on my toes and doesn't miss a trick; and because she is so prone to mischief and frquently makes comical remarks, my posts tend to accentuate her escapades while those about  Nicky and Lyndzi are usually more about their academic, artistic, athletic and altruistic achievements.  But what can you do; they are who they are.
  
Kelsie is just 6 years old, but if you talk to her you would think that you are talking to a much older child.  Her vocabulary is vast for a child of her age and her thought process is uncommon (in both good and bad ways.)  Kelsie often gets the short end of the stick because in addition to acting older; she looks a lot older.  She is particularly tall for her age and her face has a more mature appearance than that of most 6 year olds; which makes it quite easy to forget that she herself is only a tender 6; and therefore, everyone seems to expect much MORE from her.
I was reminded of Kelsie's actual age just a couple of weeks ago.  I was cooking dinner and Kelsie came over to me crying HYSTERICALLY.  Now Kelsie, (future Oscar winner that she is,) cries A LOT; but this cry was different ~ it was a HEAVING cry that caused her to gasp for air as she tried to get out the words "I'm so sorry," and "I didn't mean to."  Kelsie was trying to explain that she had flooded my bathroom.  I calmly told her "That's OK, accidents happen," but she continued to cry and said "I tired to clean it up, but there's water everywhere."  I quizzically asked "There's water everywhere?"  And then decided that I better go upstairs and see what catastrophe she thought she had caused.  Well, she was right; it was BAD.  I waded through my bathroom as the water continued to cascade off of my vanity.  The garbage pail was full of water and the entire bathroom was about half an inch under water.   I asked her how it had happened and she told me that she had been playing in the sink, and she didn't realize that the plunger was down.  She said that she went to lay down on my bed and play, and  she didn't know that the water was still running.  Nicky and Lyndzi helped me to find every towel in the house.  We used everything from bath sheets to bath mats, beach towels to wash cloths, and between it all, AND a mop; I got it cleaned up.  Now just on a side note; I have to tell you that once the water was cleaned up, Lyndzi said, "Mom, I hate to tell you this, but my Quesadilla is missing."  I said "It's missing?"  And asked, "Do you think that Hershey ate it?"  Lyndzi replied  "Well, I didn't get down and smell her breath, but yes, I think she ate it."  Ahh, just the comic relief that I needed after Kelsie's latest calamity.

As a parent, there are few things that are more rewarding than when you observe a positive transformation in your child and although I don't want to jump the gun; Kelsie has done some things lately that are absolutely blogworthy and make me SO extraordinarily  proud.  Nicky has known how to ride a bike for a couple of years; but even though both of the girls had bikes, neither had shown any interest in learning how to ride without training wheels and truth be told, they didn't take the bikes out very often.  Well, just before Spring Break, we discovered that we had some wonderful children living just a couple houses a way from us and the outdoor play abounded.  All of the kids knew how to ride bikes and rode regularly, so Lyndzi decided that it was time for her to spread her wings.  In no time at all, Lyndzi was riding Nicky's bike and was ready for a new bike of her own.  

Then last Friday, Lyndzi told Kelsie that it was time for her to learn how to ride and within literally 5 minutes; Kelsie was riding.  On Saturday we made a trip to Walmart and found a new bike for Nicky.  We had planned to give Nicky's bike to Lyndzi and Lyndzi's to Kelsie and we also needed helmets for the girls.  Both girls picked out new helmets but something seemed to be bothering Lyndzi.  After much prodding she finally told me that she didn't want Nicky's bike.  I apologized to her and clarified that Nicky needed a bigger bike and since his was in fine condition we had to pass it down to her.  We continued looking at helmets and were astonished by the prices ($20-$50 each.)   And then Kelsie said, "I don't need a new helmet; I can just use the one that Nicky had."   I was incredibly surprised and  extremely impressed.
I asked Kels if she was sure and she said yes.  I encouraged her to use Nicky's helmet and said  "It's red, so it doesn't necessarily look like a boy helmet and if you like, we can decorate it with some stickers;" and she was pleased.  Lyndzi's attitude continued to be sour UNTIL she and Kelsie came to me and Kelsie said, "We've been thinking...  Would it be OK if I took Nicky's bike and Lyndzi kept her bike?"  "OK?"  I couldn't believe my ears.  I asked Luis if Lyndzi's bike was still big enough for her and he said yes; so I told the girls that it would be fine and they were delighted.  I was SO moved by Kelsie's gesture that I gave her a great big hug and I told her that I didn't think that I had ever been more proud of her.  We talked about what a kind and thoughtful  proposal she had made and I told her that I was going to get her a little thank you treat.  Later that night, while shopping in Michael' s with Michelle (not too much longer) K  and Kelsie told her that she was going to get a treat.  Michelle asked if she had done something good and Kelsie nonchalantly said  "no."  She then told Michelle that it was because she had asked to have Nicky's bike so that we didn't need to spend more money and buy another bike.  (See, what did I tell you - unusual thought processes for a 6 year old. )

Now in all fairness I have to say that Kelsie has been unusually well behaved this week. Nothing has been destroyed (that I'm aware of.) She hasn't cut her hair or shaved her eyebrow, or aggravated me in any way.  In fact, she gave me quite the laugh the other night, when I asked her if she thought that I needed a haircut and she said "no."  Followed by "Your hair looks like a shrub."   I laughed so hard at that and then asked "So you think my hair looks like a shrub and I DON'T need it cut?"  She then said "Um yeah, get it cut," and I did; last night at 5 o'clock.  After my haircut the kids and I went to Big 5 sports because I had seen swimsuits in their ad that looked similar to what the swim team was going to be usin; but for at least $10 less per suit.  I explained to the kids that these suits might not be identical to the ones that the team was getting, but that it would be a great savings.  When we went in, they only had a suit in Kelsie's size.  She tried it on and it looked great.  Kelsie asked if she could get it and so I pointed out that if she did, Lyndzi might not have the same one and it might be different from what the other girls on the team had; and then Kelsie looked up at me with her big, brown eyes, and the sweetest voice and said "I don't care if my suit isn't the same as Lyndzi's or the team, as long as I have a suit;"  and I almost burst into tears.  For the second time in less than a week Kelsie had REALLY amazed me.   I said "OK then," and asked the sales girl to check for Lyndzi's size at another location.  Thankfully another store had it and so after purchasing Kelsie's swimsuit we got back in the car to head to the other store.  Kelsie asked where the other store was and I told her that it was near Freddy's Custard. Kelsie then asked if they could get custard and I said yes.  Lyndzi then went on to give Kelsie a pep talk.  She said "See Kelsie, when you're a good girl and helpful then Mommy can give you rewards like custard; doesn't that feel better than getting in trouble?"  (Enter the BIG SMILE on my face.)   I did add on to what Lyndzi was saying by letting them know that what Kelsie had done was beyond GOOD, it was considerate and caring and so VERY appreciated.

We got to big 5 and Lyndzi and Nicky both tried on suits that fit them perfectly.  A big weight was lifted off my shoulders.  I had purchased their swim team suits before leaving for vacatio, and saved at least $30 as well.  The kids and I discussed that it was OK to have something that was slightly different than the rest of the team because it would set them apart; but I can PROUDLY say that it's not ONLY the swim suits that set my kids apart from others.  I am so truly thankful to have ALL 3 children thatI HAVE; warts and all.  And I am going to count my blessings that Kelsie is EXACTLY who she is!!!

Till next time...

Queen of EVERYTHING

Winter Wonderland

The older you get ,the faster time seems to go, (with the exception of time spent at work of course.) I mention this because in addition to it being the holiday season, it's also the birthday season at my home. Kelsie is celebrating making it to her 6th birthday today, and Lyndzi will be turning 8 just one week later on the 18th; so naturally I've been reflecting on how quickly these incredible years have passed and looking forward to all that I will share with my family in the years to come. As a parent it is bittersweet to watch your babies grow. In some ways you want them to remain small and always in need of your help and in other ways, it is delightful to think of all the endless possibilities that lay await and all of the new experiences that we will encounter at each different stage of their lives.
I think back to when I was Nicky's age and try to remember what I was like and what I was thinking then and it's hard for me to believe that we have already gotten to that point with our amazing boy; but we have. Nicky's grade recently had "THE Talk;" and it just doesn't seem possible to me that it could ALREADY be time for that, and yet it was. A few weeks after "THE Talk," Nicky came home and was very excited to tell me that he was going to be bringing home an invitation for the 5-8th grade Winter Wonderland, school dance and I was smacked in the face with the reality that my babies are no longer babies by any stretch of the imagination.

Nicky was really looking forward to going to the dance and protective mom (ok OVER protective mom) that I am, feared this dance would be his ruination, for despite the fact that Luis and I can both bust a move; our boy has no coordination whatsoever. To say that Nicky is rhythmically challenged might be going too far, but suffice it to say that my memories of the spasmic displays that I've seen during holiday parties and other dancing opportunities were not inspiring my confidence. I wanted to coach Nicky without insulting him and so I recommended that he subtly bounce to the beat and keep his hand gestures to a minimum. Thankfully he was receptive, as I explained that I knew first hand how cruel kids could be and that if anyone found a reason to make fun of his dancing, they'd probably never stop. And for those of you who are fans of psychology and may think that I was transferring my own stuff on to Nicky, so be it.

I was teased mercilessly as a child and pre-teen and if I could do anything to help my child avoid that; psychology be damned; I'm gonna do it!! Now, don't get me wrong, I certainly didn't want Nicky to be scared to go to the dance; just PREPARED; I mean it's what I would have wanted someone to tell me, if they knew something that could possibly protect me from a world of hurt; and luckily Nicky and I have the type of relationship that he knew I was trying to help him, not hurt or intimidate him.

I told Luis about the dance and he too was concerned that Nicky might not use the best judgment about dancing and ultimately do something to embarrass himself; so we agreed that one of us might volunteer at the dance just to give him some encouragement and keep a watchful eye. I asked Nicky if he'd like one of us to volunteer at the dance and though he is usually happy to have us on his field trips, he said " That's OK; I got it." And so we had to let him go.

Nicky got dressed for the dance according to the Winter Wonderland dress code: Black, Navy, White, Silver, or Red. He wore black pants, a long sleeve, stone grey, knit Henley shirt and black shoes ~ And my boy looked GOOD!! When we dropped Nicky off, we couldn't help but notice how grown up all of the kids looked and how excited they all seemed to be. Luis even commented on different kids outfits; in particular this one little girl in a red, shiny,shirt. Leaving Nicky at the dance was definitely taking a leap of faith for us, but we drove off hopeful that he would have a wonderful time.

The 2 hours flew by and we went back to pick Nicky up. Luis pulled up to the curb content to wait for Nicky to come out, but when I saw some other moms going in; I wanted to do the same. Luis felt confident that Nicky would come out on his own but I reminded him that I had friends inside that were teachers and I could try to find out how it went and Luis responded with a typically male "Do what you want to do." So the girls and I were off like a shot.

Upon entering the building we were greeted by Nicky's teacher; who told us that the dance had gone very well and that Nicky had danced with a girl (I will call "B") for most of the night. I said that I didn't know B and his teacher said that she was in the other class. His teacher told me that so many of the kids had come up to her and said how surprised and happy they were to see Nicky dancing, because he is SO shy and she told them to leave him alone so he could have a good time and reminded them that you can't judge a book by its cover. Well, of course I was on the verge of tears; but just then Nicky came over to me and I held it together. I asked Nicky if he'd had a good time and he said "Yes," and promptly gave me my change for the evening. There couldn't have been more than 2 minutes left to the dance so I asked him "Are you ready to go or did you want to finish up?" And he said "Can I finish up?" so I said "Sure," and with that, he went back out on to the dance floor and proceeded to put his arms around the waist of the little girl in the red, shiny, shirt. Her arms were around Nicky's neck and they danced slowly to the last song of the evening. I was frozen in my place as I watched my baby dance like a young man, in the arms of this pretty, little girl with hope on her face; and Nicky's teacher leaned over to me and said "That's B." Once again I was almost in tears, but in a way they were tears of joy, because I can now look forward to a new phase in Nicky's life. He had made it through the dance without incident and was beaming with a confidence that I rarely see in him. He said good night to B, and thanked his teacher and we got into the car. I whispered to Luis that the dance had been a success and that Nicky had danced with B most of the night and then pointed out that she was the girl in the red,shiny, shirt; to which Luis replied "Well, I noticed her first."

Nicky regaled us with all of the details of the dance and it turned out that B had asked him to dance and he gladly accepted her invitation. Nicky had the time of his life and his new found confidence was thrilling. I told him that I was so, incredibly proud of him and that he probably made B's night; (because I totally can remember what I felt like after my first dance;) and I commented that he seemed so confident that he might even score a goal at soccer on Saturday; and HE DID! I actually heard one of the mom's say; "Nicky should go to a dance every friday night;" and I honestly wish that he could.

It is such a fantastic feeling to witness the growth of someone you love; whether a child, a spouse or a friend. To watch a person strive towards their potential and realize who they are, what they can do and what is out there for them. Life really is a wonderland!!!

Till next time...

Queen of EVERYTHING

To Camp or Not To Camp...

Do you ever feel like you are making nothing but excuses? Well, typically I don't; that's just NOT how I roll. I'm a do what I say I'm gonna do, keep me word, you can count on me kinda girl; though lately - not so much. Lately I have been feeling like The Queen of EXCUSES even though most of them are made to myself oh and yes, of course to the readers of "The Bumpy Ride," which troubles me no end. Geez, wasn't it ME, who just a few short months ago was writing that I wanted to try to commit to writing 2 posts a week? Um, yes it was. And now, not only aren't I giving you 2 posts, I'm not even giving you one. Well BELIEVE me, it's not for lack of wanting to (yup, say it with me... "HERE COME THE EXCUSES.") Trust me when I tell you that no one wants me spending time on "The Bumpy Ride" more than I do. I've told you before that I want to write so badly that I physically YEARN for it. Which is why I probably could have produced a fabulous lay out for "Scrapbooking from The inside Out" this month, since the theme for September is yearning ~if only I could find the time. Now of course I know that we are ALL busy, so before you say "Queen get over yourself;" let me provide you with a few more of my excuses...

A couple of months ago I wrote a post about me and the kids going to Sweet Tomatoes and I mentioned that Luis was at a class, though I didn't say what for. Truth of the matter is that back in the spring Luis got a second job and has been working part time as a pharmacy tech; so he is now working Mon-Thurs until 10pm. I am so proud and grateful for my hard working husband, but that means that even though he is the one with the second job; I now have a lot of second jobs too. Basically it feels like I am a single mom Mon-Thurs and lord knows I give props to all you single moms out there; but for someone who is used to having an active partner it is a big adjustment on time. I'm still working my regular 40 hour job, but I'm now responsible for 3 meals a day for 3 kids, all school drop off and pick up, all homework, all housework, and all other parental duties that 2 usually share. Now, PLEASE don't get me wrong; I'm not complaining AT ALL; I'm just giving you my excuses for my lack of time -remember? Anyway, in addition to the fam, I have been working at soccer registration for 3 weeks now and seriously by the time I finally stop doing everything that I am REQUIRED to do in a given day, it's either write "The Bumpy Ride" or do laundry; so clearly I haven't had much of a choice. Now typically I think that I am a pretty good time manager but the reality is that you can't manage something that you don't have. So blah, blah, blah, whine, whine, whine; now you know where I've been, and I do make this promise ~ more to myself really, than to anyone else, but by hook or by crook I AM GOING TO WRITE! I said that this was my year to create AND I MEANT IT; because I am a do what I say I'm gonna do kinda girl! Nuff said.

Now, with all of this extra work for everybody, we thought a get away was certainly in order, so a couple of weekends ago we got the heck out of Dodge and went camping with The Kalka's. Ahh camping! Camping is something that sounds so good when you think about doing it; but then you have to start shopping for it and packing for it and all of a sudden you realize that camping isn't really as relaxing as you think it's going to be. So in addition to all of my other TIME consuming activities I had to fit camping shopping and camping packing into the mix and by the time we got up there I was exhausted. While we headed off to do the dishes, I actually commented to Michelle K "ya now, camping is a lot of work and I'm starting to wonder if it's worth it? Don't get me wrong; I still love the peace and quiet. I love being in the Pines, I LOVE sleeping in my tent but as far as vacations go, there are definitely things that you could do that would cost the same and require a lot less work." And I started thinking "To camp or not to camp...?" So Michelle and I carried all of our dirty pots and pans etc. over to where we thought there was a faucet that we could use. Upon finding the faucet we found a sign that said that we could take the water but we could not clean our dishes there. Now here was the dilemma... the guys had forgotten to bring a water carrier which is why we schlepped the pots and pans to the faucet. In order to transport water we now needed to fill our biggest pot with it, but then it was far too heavy for us to carry back and so I made the Lucyesque decision that we were going to run a covert pot and pan washing operation in the bathroom where there was ALSO a sign telling us NOT TO WASH DISHES IN THE SINK. OK, well you know me; I am Queen of FOLLOWING THE RULES, but this time I just used a loose interpretation of them and I told Michelle "OK, here's what we're going to do. We won't blatantly disregard the rules and wash the pots and pans in the sink; instead I am going to use the clean water that we just got and wash everything in the bathroom stall." After laughing at me for a couple of minutes, Michelle agreed and kept watch outside the bathroom door. She told me that our code word was "Not you fat Jesus," compliments of "The Hangover;" and if I heard her say that, it would mean someone was coming. I managed to get everything all washed up and even though I heard her say "Not you Fat Jesus" a couple of times; no one actually bumrushed our show. We toted all of the SEMI clean pots and pans back to our site and sent the guys for more water so that we could boil it and give everything a good rinse. I know, you probably NEVER want to go camping with me now; but remember there is supposed to be a certain element of roughing it when you camp and thankfully no one got sick. Now when all was said and done with this fiasco I definitely was leaning towards - NOT TO CAMP; but I have to say that for all the hard work, when you actually get to sit down, relax and enjoy your family and friends, it is more relaxing than any other time I can think of. It is so nice to get back to basics and see the kids run around and play. It is so nice to sit by the fire and talk and sing songs and we even threw in a G rated family version of truth or dare; that I don't know if Lyndzi will ever recover from. First of all I don't know what kind of truth or dare they play in Mexico, but when it was my turn Luis said "oh, I have a question for you;" so of course our ears perked up and I even had hopes that the question would be blog worthy, but then my husband said "True or false the earth is 5 million miles form the sun?" "Um, what?" "Can you repeat that?" And he did. He was serious. And so I responded "I don't know." That's right; me, NOT the Queen of SCIENCE said "I don't know; so rather than guess and look stupid I'll just tell you that I don't know." What the ??? I honestly didn't think that Luis had married me for my knowledge of science, but THIS,of all questions that I should have to tell the truth about??? OK! So it was clear that even though no one else was asking a question in this manner, Luis wasn't paying attention and then score 2 for Luis. The kids and I got together and decided to ask "Luis, Do you love Hershey?" And we asked this because he always says that he likes her but he doesn't love her and we really thought this was going to be the time that he told THE TRUTH and admitted that he loved her, but alas, he said "NO! I like her but I don't love her" and then Lyndzi got this mortified look on her face and started crying; "You don't love her???" She just couldn't believe it and thought it was the saddest thing that she had heard. I felt so bad for my part in orchestrating such a revelation; but what was I to do..."Smores anyone??"

In his defense, Luis did explain (to the adults) that when he was a boy he had a dog that he loved very much and he hurt so badly when the dog died, that he didn't ever want to get that close to a pet again; and how could we fault him for that?

Yes, this camping trip had been a time for many discoveries. Michelle and I even toyed with the idea of opening our own private investigation company after we conducted our own mini surveillance on a gentleman that she and Mike found to be suspicious. Michelle and Mike had noticed this guy when he was walking his dog past our site. They thought that he had observed our kids for a little too long and they were concerned that he might be a danger to them. Michelle and I decided to play amateur detectives and we drove Mike's truck around the campground a few times to gather pertinent information. When we pulled up near the rest room, we had a clear view of our suspect. He was by himself, but yet he had 2 chairs and 2 bicycles which Michelle was convinced were being used as decoys to give the appearance that he wasn't alone (even though she believed he was.) We wanted to get his license plate but we were too far away. I said "If only we had some binoculars" and voila, there they were. Michelle had found some in in Mike's trunk (I'm guessing because of sporting events; but I didn't want to ask.) Anyway, The binoculars worked GREAT! I got the license plate number, gave a full report on what he was making for dinner and then I proudly announced that I didn't think this man was alone because his tent looked too complicated to put up by himself and Michelle seemed impressed by this deduction. We drove back to our site and I decided to continue our surveillance with a technique that I called "Walking the dog;" and so Michelle and I took Hershey for a walk because I expected that she would see HIS dogs, start barking at which point I would apologize to him and a conversation would ensue and we could then get a better idea of what he was up to. My plan did work, although it was his dogs who barked and not Hershey. He and the woman he was with (see I told you he wasn't alone;) started talking to us and we concluded that our imaginations had gotten the better of us and they were perfectly nice and harmless people. Case SOLVED.

I would say that despite some hard work, our camping trip was an overall success and a good time was had by all. So is camping worth it? The jury is still out on that one; but I guess I will continue to take these camping trips until I can decide for sure either way and I will be certain to let you know. In the meantime I am going to do my best to get this blog back on track. I can tell you this, it's not so much that I WANT all the posts to be long; it's just the way they are. Anything that seems worthy of writing about, just seems to take me while. Queen of brevity I am not. No one has EVER accused me of being brief or providing too little information or leaving too much to the imagination; that's just not the kinda girl I am and that's just not the kinda blog this is.

Till next time...

Queen of EVERYTHING

Donkey Land

I've heard it been said that whatever kind of kid you were, you'll probably have a kid whose behavior is like 3 times what yours was - or something like that. So I guess it stands to reason that my son and my older daughter are just about as kind and cooperative as you could be; since fore the most part, I was a very good child. I rarely got into trouble (except for the time that I told my brother that he sucked and then for a punishment I had to go to Levitz furniture store with my parents - agghh torture.) I was a good student, NEVER in trouble at school, so all and all a good kid; and I've been rewarded ten fold, with really awesome children.
Now yes, I do have a third child; she is my BONUS baby. My husband and I conceived my younger daughter while I was nursing and on the pill. I absolutely HATE the expression "oops baby," because she was not an "oops," she was a gift from god that I wasn't planning on, but I adore and my family wouldn't be complete without her. My OB said there was a 1 percent chance that I could have conceived given the pills and the breast feeding factors, so he believes that she is destined for greatness; and I guess that we should have known then what a strong willed little fighter she would be. Let's face it - my younger daughter is a force to be reckoned with.

We have several nicknames for my younger daughter, but the one that epitomizes her true personality is the one that I gave her when she was just about a year old- "Stitch." You know parents, like Lilo and "stitch." Oh she is not always in "Stitch" mode, but when she is, WATCH OUT; she is Stitch personified. I can remember one day in particular when we were at Target, and she took off as many children will (right?) and my children and I were chasing her through the store (she was like one,) and I can still hear my other children's voices calling "Stitch, come back." OMG - I can laugh now, but gosh do I have my hands full.

Anyway, although she can be a little terror, she is also INCREDIBLY smart with the vocabulary of a much older child and the brain of a mad scientist. She can be very defiant, and very loving, very manipulative, and funny as heck - she's 3, what can you expect? But as the mom of 2 other children who never did any of the naughty, crazy things that she does, it also makes it much worse for her because as well behaved as the other 2 are; it magnifies everything that she does, to make her look that much worse. I TOTALLY recognize that but at the time when she is doing something ridiculously mischievous, it's kind of hard to remember - after all, I am the Queen but I am human and I am running out of patience.
Alot of the time I am very frustrated with her and then I get frustrated and angry with myself - she deserves better than that. I've gotten to the point where I really don't know how else to get through to her when she has done something wrong; and then it dawned on me; I need a Donkey land.

When my brother and I were growing up, he was the one always getting in trouble and so one day my parents told him that if he didn't start behaving himself, they were going to call Donkey land to come and get him. No I'm not high; Donkey land - like in Pinocchio when Pinocchio goes to Pleasure Island with that naughty boy and then they are all turned into donkeys, (oh, I hope this sounds familiar or this blog is just going to pot big time.) Anyway, the idea of Donkey land was pretty scary to my brother and I , so all my parents had to say was "should I call Donkey land?" And he would cry and get upset and promise to be good. My parents would even go so far as to pick up the phone and say "Hello Donkey land," as my brother sat on the stairs crying "no, no, I'll be good." To add insult to injury if my memory serves me correctly, I think my brother may have even had Pinocchio sheets on his bed, so the idea of Donkey land was always very prevalent in his mind.

Well, one night, my parents took it a step further and showed us where Donkey land was. They drove behind a small strip mall by our house, and there was a wooded area behind that, and they told us that Donkey land was in there. Woohoo!! - did that do the trick.

Oh Donkey land - just to think about it gives me a good laugh; but now I need a Donkey Land of my own. Something that I can use on my younger daughter so we'll see less Stitch and more of the loving, compassionate, smart, sweet girl that she is. When I figure this one out, I'll let you know. She's been giving me a good run for my money the past few days, but I am the Queen of IMPOSSIBLE SITUATIONS, so I feel confident that I will be working this one out soon. "Hello Donkey land."
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING