A Brand, New Ride

Safeway is not usually my supermarket of choice (no offense Safeway); but it does happen to be the closest grocery store to my house, so I run in there -(OK - if you know me in real life, you KNOW I don't RUN anywhere); rather I stop there for any last minute necessities or bagels.  I'll give them that.  Compared to their competitors, for a supermarket, they have a decent bagel - but I digress...

So I stopped at Safeway for a couple of things and as I was attempting to select some bananas, I was mesmerized by the woman who breezed by, picked up a bunch, put them in her cart and moved on.  "REALLY?"  I thought, "It's just that easy for her?  No perusing for bruising or checking for firmness?  Just - oh these are bananas, I'll just take em and go?  Wow!  What must THAT be like?

Now I'm sure you're thinking (because you know I HAVE to tell ya what I think you're thinking.) "Seriously?  No blog for five months and she just starts off about picking some bananas like that has ANYTHING to do with (say it with me), "The Greater Good?"  But alas, it does... Somehow, standing there and thinking those thoughts I knew it was time for me to get back to "The Bumpy Ride", which some might say, is for the "Greater Good."; and that is why I chose to start out this long, overdue, post by telling you about the bananas rather than lamenting over what I've been doing and why it's been so long since I've written.

Trust me when I tell you that I don't consider myself any busier than the next person.  Which is to say, that I don't think you need to hear my excuses about how busy I've been and why I haven't been able to write. I can assure you that I am fully aware of the irony of my situation.  It baffles me how I managed to write "The Ride" everyday for a year last year and yet this is the first time in months that I've been able to make time to write.  But I swear to you, it's not for lack of wanting to.  If you're not a first time Rider, then you know I'm the Queen of COMMITMENT and over the past several months, I've had MANY.  So rather than telling you why I've been busy - in the interest of (say it with me) "The Greater Good", I'll tell you what I've learned...  One of the most important jobs of a parent is advocating for the best interests of your child - academically, athletically, emotionally, and psychologically.  It's often hard to know what to do, but it's your responsibility to figure it out and do all you can to help your child achieve all that they're capable of.  I learned that perseverance and honesty pay off. I learned that forgiveness is freeing and that confidence is the cure for anxiety.  I learned that no matter how full your home is, there's always room for one more.  I learned that making people feel good, safe and happy is one of the greatest things I do and its reward is more precious than money.  I've learned that old dogs can learn new tricks.  I've learned that even if your pockets are empty and times are tough, you can always find ways to be charitable.  I've learned that (as I've suspected), I really do have my finger on the pulse of  what's hot and upcoming.  Yes, last year alone, I wrote about Alex Guarnaschelli and how awesome I thought she was and now she's like the Food Network's next big deal.  Just check them out, she's popping up on all their shows. Also, you may recall that I predicted Billy Crystal would host the next Oscars and HELLO, have you heard??   I've learned that time can heal wounds, that help sometimes comes from the most unexpected places and that "Can't" means you haven't REALLY tried.  I've learned that you need to love and accept yourself even when you're not exactly as you'd like to be.  And lastly, (well probably not lastly, but lastly for the sake of this list),  I've learned that I'm not ready to give up on my dream.  And so, if you'll have me, I REALLY want to try and get back on track and start sharing my stories with you again.  There will be tales and pictures from my New York trip, I promise!  As well as all the observational humor that I can muster, and as many recommendations that I can make for yes, (say it with me again) "The Greater Good."

A GREAT big thank you to all of you who've encouraged me to start writing again and to everyone who has missed me and "The Bumpy Ride."  I've made a few changes, such as "The Ride's" new appearance, (please share your thoughts on that), my updated profile picture, AND I've decided that since all the things I am or am not Queen of, really just make me who I am; I'll now be signing off -
Till next time...
Paige

(43-365) I Did It!

In honor of this auspicious occasion, I can think of nothing more appropriate than to quote Dora the explorer and say "I did it, I did it, I did it - HURRAY!  Ya I did it!" I know that Dora says "we" not "I", but my monkey sidekick had nothing to do with writing "The Bumpy Ride" for 365 consecutive days, so I hope you'll permit me some creative license on that one.

When I wrote "43" on July 28, 2010, I said that I was committing to write EVERY day for a year PLUS my 44th birthday, so in fact my journey is not quite over; but I think that since this is the last night of my 43rd year it's appropriate for me to review all that I've learned during this excruciating endeavor so that tomorrow I can make a fresh start on a brand new year and the rest of my life. 

To quote myself in "43", "I believe this needs to be a year of recollection, reflection, observation, appreciation, and change; and I plan to do this right before your very eyes."  And, I'm delighted to say that I believe I have.  I've taken you on many walks down my memory lane.  Some strolls were happy and amusing while others were painful and heartbreaking.  I told you "My real life love story", and many, many tales of trial and tribulation.  I got definitions published in "The Urban Dictionary" and entered and lost my first essay contest.  I've written about fear, courage, optimism, perseverance, grief, empathy, sympathy and laughter.  I've shared quotes and songs from various genres, and demonstrated my prowess at Six degrees of Kevin Bacon.  I reported on a season each of soccer and swim team, enlisted your assistance with an art contest and battled an Art Nazi!  I've had thrills and spills, a number of firsts, and made several discoveries.  I found and fell in love with my cousin Jackie, I got three new jobs,  I renewed friendships, strengthened friendships and ended friendships.  I've taken chances and advocated for myself like I never have before.  I gave support, advice, and of course, recommendations for the (say it with me) GREATER GOOD!  And I truly couldn't be more proud of myself than I am right now.

When I wrote "Five Hundred" I mentioned that writing "The Bumpy Ride" every day for this year had been both a blessing and a curse.  I didn't elaborate on the negative; because ya know I like to accentuate the positive.  Yet I will admit that this challenge was far more taxing than I ever imagined.  The truth is that I usually give more though to what I'm gonna have for dinner than I did to what a big (yes) HUGE undertaking a daily commitment would be.  No matter how physically or emotionally tired I was - I had to write.  No matter what fun activity was awaiting me - I had to write.  No matter my location -I had to write.  And so with pad in hand I wrote as night fell upon the drive in.  I typed in a word document at the lake, in Laughlin, and while camping. Then I had to go find a public place with wi-fi so that I could capture the perfect picture to accompany the post and publish it.  I wrote from Las Vegas, and California (twice), not to mention having to get up extra early so that I could publish a post before spending the day in Disneyland.  Each blog took anywhere from half an hour to five to write.  And the award for the blog that took the longest to author, goes to "The Hostess With The Mostess", which I wrote while attending the best crop EVER at Mari's hobby  house.  Now don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining at all.  For me the pros definitely outweighed the cons AND now that I know for certain that I really can commit to doing something EVERY day; I'm gonna get my butt back to the gym, so that (hopefully) this time next year, I'll be able to report that I finally lost the hundred pounds that I've been talking about FOREVER.

If I've learned anything this year, it's this: First, I can do ANYTHING that I set my mind too.  Second, if you want to change your circumstances YOU can.  Third, you are only as limited as you allow yourself to be.  And fourth, to quote RuPaul  "What other people think of me is not my business."   

Once again I  want to thank everyone who has joined me on "The Bumpy Ride" this year and I implore you to keep coming back for more.  Even though this is the end of my year, it is really only the beginning.  I am so looking forward to sharing "44" with you tomorrow, so please make sure to stop by, as I'll be revealing  a very special surprise.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-176) I Choose Happiness

I know myelf extremely  well.  I recognize my strengths; and I'm uniquely, well aware of my weaknesses; which is why I can admit, that I am The Queen of GRIPES.  It's not that I like to complain; it's just that, although I'm a patient person; I am also very easily annoyed.   To give you some insight into my frequent griping; I'll share this tidbit.  I think that I am prone to gripe because in any instance that I feel as if myself or my loved ones are being cheated out of something; my defenses flare up.  I believe this stems from feeling cheated out of having my parents; and all that would entail.  I know, HEAVY for a Wednesday night blog; but you know me, I'm the Queen of FAIRNESS, even at my own expense;  and I'm just trying to give you an honest assessment.

Now, with this being said; I can tell you that I DON'T enjoy griping. I wish that I never griped.  I would love for things to be able to flow off my back, and I wish that things didn't bother me as easily or as often as they do; but old habits die hard and history and baggage can be very difficult to overcome.  Nonetheless; I realized today, that this is exactly what I need to do. 

Earlier today I had a lengthy conversation with (SMF) Big Mike; the director of our soccer board.  Part of our conversation was about our upcoming tournament, and he shared some information that disturbed me; because I found the decision to be very unfair to the children. Rather than be so vague, let me take a minute to explain.  Every year we have a two day tournament at the end of the soccer season; and we always have it at a location, other than where we play regularly.  Additionally, the tournament starts on Friday evening, so that the kids get the opportunity to play at night, under lights; and everyone seems to find this pretty exciting; kids and parents alike.  Well today Mike told me that the teams that are in first place for U-8 (Kelsie's division and team as luck would have it,) and U-10 (Lyndzi's division and team, as luck would have it;) are NOT going to play on Friday night; and instead, they will play a double header on SaturDAY.  I objected; and explained that I thought that it was unfair that the teams who had done the best all season, were going to be deprived of an experience that we were supposed to be giving to everyone.  Mike fully agreed, but said that others were doing the planning and it just seemed like this was the way it was going to have to be.

OK, now let me stop you; and say I KNOW, this is NOT a big deal, in the big scheme of things.  I KNOW that there are A LOT worse things going on in the world right now; and I'm not saying that this occurrence even merits being discussed; BUT it is a turning point for me; which is why I'm exposing myself and my thoughts in this way.  I was contemplating the situation later in the day, and I decided that I would blog about it. I also knew that I had to STOP!  Instead of being annoyed that my girls were being short changed; I needed to be grateful that I had healthy girls who COULD play soccer.   I needed to be thankful that I could still afford for my kids to play soccer; and I needed to realize that no one will be any worse the wear, even if they are disappointed.  I decided that I wanted to and HAD to choose happiness; and in doing so, I had to let go of these petty annoyances; and just go with the flow.  Whatever it is; it is.  Now, this is not to say that I am always going to accept whatever hand I'm dealt; because I do think that I have the ability to effect change; BUT, it means that if I haven't succeeded in my quest; I have to accept it, and choose to be happy despite it; rather than tell everyone I know about my latest pitfall.

So there you have it.  My lesson of the day; I CHOOSE HAPPINESS!
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING                                                         

                                                                                                           

(43-72) The Piano Man

My kid's had early out from school today and I went on campus to pick them up; because I had to drop some soccer paperwork in the office.  While I was waiting to round up my crew, I was talking to my friend Shannon about my "Santa and The Fairies" post and we discussed the "Glee" episode that started the whole conversation off.  We agreed that it wasn't our favorite episode, but we both loved Puck's rendition of Billy Joel's "Only The Good Die Young."

While I was driving Nicky and his friend Wyatt home from soccer practice, I was trying to think of a blog topic for tonight.   I replayed my day in my head; and recalled my conversation with Shannon, and immediately I knew, that tonight I would share my Top 5 Billy Joel songs.

I went to my first Billy Joel concert in 1984 at Madison Square Garden in New York City.  There was such a demand for these concert tickets that they actually held a lottery, and my friend Melissa won 5th row seats.  Billy Joel put on such an amazing concert that I went back to see him at least 2 more times.  (Uggh; there's that memory thing again.)   Not only did I have the pleasure of attending Mr. Joel's concerts; but I also met him twice.  The first time, I met him briefly, when he gave a speech at my college, and the second time I didn't exactly MEET him; but he and Christie Brinkley sat behind me and my girlfriends at the Southampton movie theater for a showing of "Earth Girls Are Easy."  YES, I said "Earth Girls Are Easy;"  staring Academy Award winner - Geena Davis, Jeff Goldblum, Jim Carrey and Damon Wayans; to name a few.  Sorry Mr. Joel; I didn't mean to out you as a B rate movie goer - but I digress.
What I LOVE about Billy Joel's music, is that it is just that; MUSIC!  Although he is undeniably, The Piano Man; I think that it's fair to say that he truly is The Music Man!!
The songs that I've chosen showcase prodigious, piano stylings, scintillating, saxophone solos and unparalleled lyrics.  Billy Joel is a poet, a composer and a showman and I wholeheartedly believe that his transcendental, talent is beyond compare.
I hope you enjoy my top 5 Billy Joel songs.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

Only The Good Die Young
Vienna
Scenes from An Italian Restaurant
Sometimes A Fantasy
Miami 2017 (I've seen the lights go down on Broadway)

(43-35) A Gift Horse Tale

Today I looked a gift horse in the mouth and thoughtfully turned it away.  Now you have to know that with an opening line like that; this is going to be one of those rare cases where I have to be unexplicit; and I do apologize.  Since I need to be discreet, I can't tell you who the gift horse was or what it was offering; but suffice it to say, that as is typical of a gift horse; it presented something that we REALLY needed; but for the sake of sanity and morality we couldn't accept.  Vague, Vague, Vague; I know and I hate it.  I am typically The Queen of FULL DISCLOSURE.  No one has EVER accused me of being short on details and in fact; yes I know, sometimes I say much too much - but not this time.

So, why am I teasing you like this?  You know the answer to that.  (Say it with me,) "It's for the GREATER GOOD."  Even though I have to be unspecific; today was a turning point for me and even in generalities; this is a story that I want to share.

When it comes to a gift horse, it seems that the endowment always arrives at an opportune time and most often there is some question about the benefaction and whether or not to accept it.  Remember, this is a gift horse and NOT just a gift.    "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth"  originated back in the day when horses were frequently given as gifts.  As you can tell a horse's age by looking in its mouth; the proverb encourages you not to do so, because it would be in poor taste; as it would seem that you were questioning the integrity of the gift giver.    Not looking a gift horse in the mouth connotes to me that you should just take what's being offered and not question it; but the truth is that there are consequences for our actions and sometimes all that glitters isn't gold.  I find that people often encourage you NOT to look a gift horse in the mouth; and to accept what's presented to you; but for those of us who believe in personal accountability, I think there are certain times when it would be remiss not to do so.  To quote Freud, "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar ;" and I believe that's true; but then again; sometimes it's not.

So we've covered a proverb, an idiom and a quote; let's head up hill... The offer that we received today was very unexpected.  It came from someone that Luis and I have tried to distance our family from; and although most people would have jumped at this opportunity; it was one that could also have had serious repercussions for us.
When I first heard from the individual that I've been referring to; Luis was at work and I was caught off guard.  Things happened very quickly, and as gift horses can be; it was extremely persuasive, and very persistent.  I discussed the situation at great length with my devoted, friend Rachel K who is very familiar with this gift horse and the problems it has caused for me (in particular) in the past; and she was able to provide me with a great deal of clarity.  Rachel's advice and wise words were invaluable today and after we took EVERYTHING into consideration; Luis and I decided that it was best for us to keep our distance from this person and stay true to our beliefs.  Luis called the gift horse and declined the "gift" because sometimes there are very high costs for what a gift horse bestows and we were not willing to pay the price.

Now I know that this is probably the most confusing story that I've ever told, (and that's saying something;) and I assure you that I was not trying to be difficult, but to present a real life quandary in it's most basic terms.  You may have to read it again, OK, and again, before it truly makes sense to you; and I hope at some point it does; because it was a very important day for me.  I stood my ground and it was liberating.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-27) Red - A Retrospective

If you've read "The Bumpy Ride" before, or if you know me; then you KNOW that I have an EXTRAORDINARY husband.   The cause for my praise today is Luis' willingness to color my hair for me.  That's right; I said "color my hair."  I can't remember exactly when this favor started; but I do know that it's been several years, because I can recall him being ever so patient as he had to apply 2 boxes of color to my long hair.  Now that my hair is short it's much quicker and easier; and he swears to me that he really doesn't mind.  I know, Whatta Man!  And I sure am lucky to have him. So last night Luis gave me a long, overdue dye job.  I actually hadn't colored my hair since we were in Puerto Vallarta in May; and with a red color, that's just a sin because they fade SO QUICKLY.  Once my hair was dry and I looked in the mirror; I thought the same thing that I think every time; "WELCOME BACK!"  Whenever my hair is freshly done I always think I look so much more like myself.  And it's odd because as the color is fading, you recognize that, but until you actually color it and then see the difference; you don't realize how bad it had gotten.

I've been altering the color of my hair in one way or another, since my senior year of high school.  Whether it was  a cotton candy pink stripe, an eggplant wash, a Henna rinse or a dye in any shade of auburn or red; I've tried it.  To the best of my knowledge, my Mom's natural hair color was a dark brown, like mine; although I never saw it.  She was a redhead from the time I was born until she passed and it suited her well.  As I've written before, my Mom was vivacious, sassy, sexy and classy and her red hair and the attitude that came along with it, certainly made her stand out; which may be why I wanted to be a redhead.  It's not that I try to emulate my Mom, but I definitely admired her character and her personality and though I'll never be her; I think that I was meant to be a redhead as well.

There's just something about redheads; they're passionate, determined and unique; whether they were born red or chose to be and this is the way it's been since the beginning of time...

Case in point; Wilma Flintstone.  We all KNOW that she's the one who wore the pants in that family; even though Fred was bigger and louder; it was Wilma who called the shots in the cave. 

Following in Wilma's tiny footsteps was her daughter; the ever perky, Pebbles, who exuded control over Bam Bam EXACTLY as Wilma had done with Fred.

Redheads  made a real impression on me when I was growing up.  I just adored Maureen O'Hara; who played the refined and feisty Mom in the only REAL version of "The Parent Trap." Then of course there was my heroine; the quintessential redhead (even though we watched her in black and white - Now THAT's a RED HEAD!) No name necessary I think; and another comedic red haired genius; none other than Carol Burnett.

The 70's had it's share of strong and fabulous redheads... Although she hasn't been a redhead for many moons now; when The DIVINE Ms. M (Bette Midler for you youngins;) first burst onto the sassy scene she was INDEED a red head and her bawdy brilliance taught me a lot about being a SMART woman. Flo (Polly Holliday) from Alice; and don't tell me that there wasn't anyone who didn't want to "Kiss her grits." And of course there was the head of the best detective agency in town; Daphne from "Scooby Doo."

Now there is no way on earth that I can mention / picture,  EVERY redhead that has graced us with her presence, charmed us with her smile, made us laugh till we pee or sob uncontrollably;  but I will pay tribute to those who have touched me and to those who I believe embody what being a REDHEAD  is all about...

Under the category of Class and Sass; we've got the original Fergie (The Duchess of York,) Gerri Halliwell (Ginger Spice) and  Jessica Rabbit.

While mentioning Jessica, I should also mention the sultry redhead responsible for her speaking voice; Kathleen Turner.

Redheads who made / make me laugh, or cry or laugh until I cry; Madeline Kahn, Debra Messing, Kathy Griffin and Peg Bundy (Katey Sagal); just to name a few. Susan Sarandon who was  marvelous in everything from

"The Rocky Horror Picture Show," to "White Palace," with guess who? James Spader; not to mention "Stepmom" and "Deadman Walking" (which I never saw because it's not my kind of movie; but I know she won the Oscar for it, so I figured I'd better mention it.) Cynthia Nixon, who although she is not the funniest or the most beautiful of the "Sex And the City" gals;  there are moments where she is breathtaking and the gang would not be the same without her. Old fave, Molly Ringwald (I don't think I really need to give a reason to anyone whose lived through the 80's;) and new fave Amy Adams (have you seen "Enchanted"
or "Julie & Julia"?)

If we're talking music, there are vibrant, redheads in ALL genres;

Cyndi Lauper, Annie Lennox, Reba McEntire, Wynonna and Ariel (Yes, "The Little Mermaid.")

There are 2 feisty redheads that are regularly seen on TV and neither is an actress.  Both are no nonsense and straight talking.  And even though I really can't stand either of their shows; I have to give credit to Joy Behar  "The View" and Caroline Manzo "The Real Housewives of New Jersey."  Both of these ladies tell it like it is and they don't pull any punches; even if it makes others uncomfortable.  I like when people know who they are and these women are Redheads through and through.

This last woman may not always have been a redhead; but at the time that she fought one of the toughest battles of our lifetime; her hair was crimson red. I'm talking about none other than Judy Garland as Dorothy in "The Wizard of Oz."

Red haired Dorothy battled the Wicked Witch of the West and her ingenuity led her to Victory.  Go RED!

Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-19) My Path

Sunday is typically errand day for me. I balance my check book, go to a super market or two and do whatever else needs to be done. As Nicky's 11 and capable of staying home alone for a while, he doesn't often accompany me on my Sunday errands anymore; but today he joined us and I had the pleasure of the company of all 3 of my kids. Since I had a captive audience, I took the opportunity to thank them for their patience and understanding about the time that I'm allotting to write my blog. I told the kids that it was important for me to write EVERY day this year and I apologized for having to put off some of the things that they wanted to do, so that I could write.  I told my kids that this was the year that I was going to pursue my dream and that I had a very positive feeling that things were going to change for the better for us.

We talked about KNOWING what it is that you're supposed to do for a career and I explained that I believed that writing was what I was MEANT TO DO even though I've done other things up till now.  I told them that I had written from the time that I was a very young girl and somehow or other I got sidetracked.  I remember being in 4th grade and having to write a story like "Why the zebra has stripes;" and I chose to write "Why people are prejudiced;"  (interesting choice for a 9 year old but what can I say, I guess I was always ahead of my time.)  I actually got called to the Principal's office about my essay, but it turned out that it was for praise and not punishment.  During 5th grade I did a lot of creative writing - I would make my own books and write stories for extra credit; just because I liked to.  I always did well In English class, but no teacher or guidance counselor ever encouraged me to become a writer.  When it came time for me to look into college's, one of the schools that I applied to was Bard College.  Bard appealed to me because at the time they didn't put a lot of emphasis on your SAT scores and neither had I.  Instead, they mandated that you had to have a special talent to get in; and so I said that mine was writing.  I suppose there must have been some truth to my claim because I did get accepted; but once I visited the campus, I didn't think it was the right place for me; so I chose to go to Long island University - Southampton to major in Pre-law.
No one was ever going to be a lawyer more than I was; until I wasn't - and during my Sophomore year of college I decided to change my major.  Since my favorite professor taught English and those were the classes that I enjoyed the most, I did consider becoming an English major; but ultimately I decided to take the easy way out and I became a Sociology major because all of my credits would transfer over and I would be able to graduate on time.  I've regretted that decision for many years; and if I could have a do-over; that is most definitely something that I would have changed; but alas I don't want to dwell in regret. I told my kids that not everyone takes the same path to get to their destination and although I may have taken a longer route; it's never to late to pursue your dreams. Maybe all of the experiences that I've had up until now will contribute to me being a different kind of writer than I would have been under other circumstances;
so I have to believe that everything happens for a reason. 
Till next time...

Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-18) We're All In This TOGETHER

Today was a day of EXTREMELY mixed emotions.  I laughed several times, when I wasn't on the verge of tears.  I had a knot in the pit of my stomache (which actually took residence about a week ago;) but then I felt the kindess of strangers and the comfort of familiarity and the knot would dissipate.  Vague, I know; which must seem unusual coming from the Queen of OVER EXPLAINING; but details at this time are actually unimportant. 

Today Michelle M and I had a garage sale.  It wasn't one of my FULL ON garage sales; but one that I was helping her with and OK, of course I couldn't resist the opportunity to sell a few of my things along the way.  It was an enlightening day because our conversations ran the gamut from the economy and foreclosure to child rearing, to Disneyland and Las Vegas to careers, friendships and relationships to my utter disgust and annoyance with the NOT REAL "Real Housewives of New Jersey;" and that was just the first half hour.  Nah, just kidding; those conversations took place over the course of 8 hours and I know for sure that we, (or at least I) could have sat and talked for at least 8 hours more.
Michelle and I were engrossed in our conversations in between sales and I have to say that I was touched and impressed by so many of the people that we encountered today.  There was something different in the air and it wasn't just the unusual humidity.  People were open today; people shared their stories with strangers and offered comfort and reassurance to each other and we all commiserated and it felt GOOD.  People exposed their private information for an opportunity to feel connected and it seemed that the housing epidemic was uniting people in a way that we haven't been before.  Now again, I know that I'm writing in a lot of generalities but this time it was truly the actions that were important and NOT all of the details.  It was a sign that people were reaching out to each other, people wanted to be sympathetic and empathetic because after all WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-10) Acceptance

It's just after 1PM, and I've already had a mind expanding day.  I've learned some very valuable lessons, and although they have not been pleasant; they were necessary!    Even though I've never personally been in a 12 step program of any type; I am finding comfort in the words of the serenity prayer "God, grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; And wisdom to know the difference."  I now understand that even though you're being a good friend if you want more for your friend than they want for themself;  a circumstance like this is a waste of your time and energy.  I've been reminded that when someone shows you who they are; you should believe them AND that if someone REPEATEDLY does the same things, even though they say they want to do things differently; they are NEVER going to change; despite your good intentions and repeated offers of help.  It makes me sad to say that I've learned these lessons today; but at the same time, it gives me clarity about how I should proceed in the future.
In the interest of preserving this person's privacy (and you need to read that word with an English accent and a short i because it just sounds so much better to me that way;)  I know that these statements must sound very vague; but the truth is that you don't really need to know all of the details of what brought me to these realizations, in order to benefit from them; which is of course why I've shared what I have. 
In order to be the best people that we can be, we must grow from both our positive and negative experiences.  We must continue to keep learning about who we are, what we need and what our limitations are when it comes to being there for ourselves and for others.  As for me, I surprisingly feel a great sense of peace and relief; and I'm making a list of the friends that I need to give great big hugs to when I see them.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

(43-7) Have No Fear

So apparently I'm doing it; I'm REALLY doing it!! I said that I was going to blog everyday, and so far I have. OK I'm only 7 days in, but still; I can' t remember the last time that I wrote 7 blogs in 7 weeks so I view this as a MAJOR accomplishment. I said that I wasn't going to sweat the small stuff; and when an opportunity arose, where previously I might have stressed a bit; I DIDN'T!! And last but certainly not least I am taking care of myself; and I'm not living in fear.

So let's go with the easy one first; THE SMALL STUFF.  The other night I saw a notice on my blog page saying that "something" had been removed, changed or relocated by Photobucket; and I had NO idea what this was.  After a while it dawned on me that my background was now grey and no longer the cute, lil shabby chic background that I loved.  I clicked on the Cutest Blog on the Block logo to see if I could find my background again; but I could not. Granted I didn't look for very long; but I looked everywhere that I thought it could be.  As time was of the essence I quickly chose the background that I have now because 1. I'd admired before and 2. It was almost a perfect match for the color settings that I had with the previous template.  I actually told myself  "just use this for now and when you have more time you can always change it again."  And for those of you who know me, you know this is TOTALLY contradictory to what I would have done before.  Oh no; BEFORE I would have looked at EVERY SINGLE TEMPLATE before deciding what to choose and then I would have changed my mind a couple of times.  So Brava for me!  I'm happy with my decision and I'm even happier that I was just able to go with the flow.

As if we hadn't been busy enough; yesterday in the midst of reorganizing, I had an appointment with my favorite Podiatrist.  OK, my ONLY Podiatrist, but I just think he's swell.  Anyway, last week I thought that I was starting to get an in-grown toe nail (YES, again;) but this time on my left foot.  Rather than trying to heal myself; as I've done in the past;  I promptly made an appointment to have it removed.  I decided that there was NO reason for me to live with pain and there was no reason for me to live with fear.  I rationalized that I'd had the procedure done before and I knew that I'd be fine.  I'd gotten the shots before and although it's not enjoyable it's something that I could get through and so I decided that I would be stronger than any fear I'd previously had and I would take care of myself; and I did.  I don't know why I used to let my fear get the better of me or why I would put up with pain; but WE don't have to.  So at the risk of sounding all Kumbaya-ish, let me just say that regardless of what type of pain you may be experiencing; you owe it to yourself to get any and all treatment possible as quickly as possible; because you never know how long you have and there's no need to suffer while you're here.  You have to be at your best so that you can enjoy every beautiful day that you're blessed with.  So with that said, I encourage you to face your fears no matter how scary they may seem and take care of yourselves.  I promise that YOU ARE WORTH IT!
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING

Congratulations America!

This was not the blog that I was planning on writing today. Not because I thought Obama would lose but because I thought that I had said all that I had to say (as if that's ever possible...)
To quote John McCain (yes, you read that right;) "America has spoken and spoken clearly." And I thank god for that.
Senator McCain delivered a humble and respectful concession speech that gave me hope that he will serve our President Elect and this country well. In return President Elect Obama spoke very highly and admirably of Senator McCain and his service to our country and it was refreshing to feel that the glaring separation between Democrats and Republicans may now be put to rest as EVERYONE comes together to repair OUR UNITED States of America.
I fully agree with Lori's comment (on my election day post) as I am hopeful that now that a President has been chosen, everyone will lend their support and stand together (say it with me) "FOR THE GREATER GOOD!"
This is a monumental victory for Barack Obama and I have every faith that it will be a monumental victory for the Unites States of America.
I am so thankful for everyone who voted yesterday and for the first time in a very, long time I am optimistic about our future and I believe that we should expect change for the better. YES WE CAN - and WE DID!!
Congratulations President Elect Obama and Vice President Elect Biden. Congratulations America!!
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING