Saturday, September 11, 2010

(43-46) What You Choose to Believe

On October 7, 2009 I wrote, in "A Friend In Need;"  "September, someday between the 10th and 12th (I have blocked the day out of my memory) marked the 23rd anniversary of my Mom's passing."   Well, a few weeks ago, when the kids and I were doing our cleaning overhaul; I happened to find the guest book from my mother's funeral, and it confirmed that in fact, my mom had passed away on September 11; which makes today the 24th anniversary of my mom's passing.  After much consideration, I chose not to sit at home and and mourn; but to go out and live life to its fullest, on her behalf; so Rachel, Luis, the kids and I took a drive to Sedona.  Although my family had been to Sedona several on several occasions; today was a day of discovery for us as we went to a part of Sedona that we had never been to before.  We took a picnic to Crescent Moon Ranch and had THE MOST amazing time.
After we got done with our lunch, Luis and the kids were taking pictures and playing by the creek.  Lyndzi told me that Nicky had spotted a dragon fly and that it had been following them around.  Luis then showed me the pictures that he'd taken and I was delighted because I've always admired dragonflies AND butterflies and I've even considered getting each as a tattoo; if ever I was to get one, (which I honestly don't EVER see happening; since I often suffer from buyer's remorse, not to mention my INSANE fear of needles.)  Nonetheless, once I got home I felt compelled to look into the symbolism of dragonflies and I discovered that in almost every part of the world, the dragonfly is a symbol of change.  The dragonfly is synonymous with changes in mental and emotional maturity.  The Dragonfly’s scurrying flight across water represents an act of going beyond what’s on the surface and looking into the deeper implications and aspects of life.
How profound!!   I can honestly say that these are changes that I believe I'm in the process of; but the dragonfly wasn't around me, it was around my family; so I choose to believe that the dragonfly's presence signifies a change in perspective for my entire family.  We are ALL growing, evolving and maturing; and I think it's simply wonderful that we are all doing so at the same time.

The kids wanted to go exploring further and although I'm NOT Queen of the OUTDOORS; I couldn't pass up the opportunity to experience a vortex and enjoy natures beauty.  We walked along a short trail and came to an alluring creek.  None of us had our swimsuits and the water beckoned us to come in; but we resisted.  We were charmed by the view and we all agreed that this was a spot that needed to be revisited soon.  We walked further and even though there was no sign that alerted us to the vortex, once we got there; WE KNEW IT!  The temperature immediately dropped a few degrees, and  although the path had been serene; the stillness of the area was remarkable.  I stepped out onto the vortex and instantly felt as if a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders and my breath came easier.  We all stood in silence taking in the majestic site; and no one spoke of what they had felt at that moment. 
We followed the path further until the red rock met the water and the sight was spectacular.
Luis and the kids took more pictures and put their feet in the water and I just observed and took in the scenery.  I thought of my mom and I didn't cry.  I remembered how lucky I was to have her for a mother; even though it was for a very short time and I hoped that she was in a place that was even more beautiful than the one that I had been appreciating.

After a significant amount of time had passed, we happily walked the trail back to the picnic area and as we left the path we were greeted by a Monarch butterfly, that was fluttering in the grass.
Once I saw the magnificent Monarch, my mother was again very much on my mind.  I somehow felt that the butterfly encounter had something to do
with her; and I asked Luis to take a picture of the splendid creature.  Upon my return home I investigated further; and found (according to Wikipedia) "In different cultures butterflies are symbols of rebirth, regeneration, transition and love. In Native American legend, butterflies also represent grace and the ability to accept change; and some people believe that when you see a butterfly go by (and especially if it hovers around), you are receiving a cosmic message."  HMMM??  I BELIEVE, I BELIEVE!!

Wikepedia went on to say "The butterfly is a reminder to make changes when the opportunity arises. Change and transformation are inevitable for us all, but it does not have to be traumatic. Butterfly symbolism is also closely tied to the idea of spirits and souls. It has been used in many religions and cultures. In the western world, the symbol of the butterfly stands for freedom, fun and joyous times. It is also symbolises a state of naturalness and purity."  WOW!  Did I need this butterfly today or what?  I've quoted Freud's "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar" before;  and so surely I recognize  that sometimes a dragonfly is just a dragonfly and a  butterfly is just a butterfly; but sometimes we CHOOSE to believe whatever brings us peace.  It certainly soothed my soul to conclude that there was some connection between the presence of the dragonfly, the butterfly and the memory of my mother.  I regard these sitings as signs that I shouldn't dwell in sadness; but move forward.  I have faith that it was a sign that I'm on the right path and that my mother approves.  And I take great comfort in believing that my mother is with me ALWAYS.
Till next time...

Photos by Luis Ramos


Julie Tucker-Wolek said...

Wowwwwwwwww! How cool!! That is pretty awesome!!!! I have been itching to get back to are gonna have to tell me where you were at when I see ya next Saturday! :):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)

Joni Parker said...

Love this post!! I think I'm going to go read it again!

Anonymous said...

You KNOW that was a sign from your Mom...only she could look that spectacular :) Much love and fond memories of the great Tyrone