I know WHY I scrapbook; but often times I find myself questioning why I scrapbook. To take that out of Paige-ese, and try to make a lil more sense of that statement, I probably should say - I fully believe in the purpose, as well as the the art of scrapbooking. AND when I'm in the right zone, I am capable of completing a lay out that I'd put right up there with some that I've seen published, BUT those are very few and far between for me. That's not to say that I make 1 fab lay out and 4 crappy ones. It's more that I make one in the amount of time that others can make four. I frustrate myself trying to come up with new designs, and it's not that I'm opposed to scraplifting; heck, I do it all the time. It's just that I never seem to have all of the right stuff with me; so I'm sabotaging myself before I even begin.
It seems that I've had a number of scrapbooking opportunities lately, and yet, I've barely made anything. I went to my friend Julie's last night, and in about seven hours, I worked on one, yes you read that correctly, ONE, layout, and I'm embarrassed to tell you that it's not even completed. On top of that, had Mari not cropped two of my three pictures for me, I wouldn't have even gotten that much done. The time before that, I made two, yes, you read that correctly, TWO cards in about six hours. Which begs the question, WHY do I torture myself and attempt to scrapbook?
This scenario is nothing new. I've been a slow scrapbooker since I began scrapbooking eleven years ago. And part of the reason why I'm slow is that I'm a perfectionist and the other reason is that it just doesn't come as naturally to me as it does to many of my extremely, talented friends. And last night that was really evident to me.
Now being the Queen of SELF DEPRECATION, I'm sure that my friends were not surprised when I declared that I should probably just give up scrapbooking altogether; but Mari knew that I wasn't joking this time and that I was really feeling stressed. Mari assured me that if I could allow myself some time, to coordinate my pictures, papers and embellishments for a layout, prior to going out to a crop, I wouldn't get nearly as overwhelmed. I know that she's right, but I find that I have so little time, that it's not possible for me to do so. BUT, I can rationalize that if I don't take the time to do it before, then I'll just be wasting more time, while I'm at a crop; and I don't want to do that anymore.
I love scrapbooking, and I really do want to get better at it. I want to produce layouts that will capture memories in a way that a photo alone cannot. The truth is, a scrapbook layout tells a story, and who loves telling a story more than me? So here's my challenge to myself... On June 17th I'm going to my next crop, and I vow that prior to that night, I'm going to find the time to create three packets, yes THREE; which is big (yes) HUGE for me, and I will then endeavor to create the three layouts in their entirety, journalling and all, while I'm at the crop. If I don't complete the layouts, I will not berate myself, or swear off scrapbooking; but at least I'll know that by putting the three packets together, I'll cut out a lot of the agonizing once I get there.
You'll have to come back for June 18th's post to see how I do.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING