Tuesday, November 30, 2010

(43-126) Wanted At Last

I don't typically think of myself as unusual; but the other day I was watching a DVR'd episode of "The Talk," and they were discussing the fact that Rosie O'Donnell thought that she might have breast cancer.  They went on to discuss how Rosie was only ten when her mom had passed away from breast cancer; and they went on to talk about how much their own mom's meant to them.  They each said that they couldn't imagine what their wedding days would have been like had their mom's not been there; and it was at that very moment, that I thought, hmm; maybe I am a little unusual.

I absolutely hated the fact that neither of my parents (ESPECIALLY, my mom;)  could be with me (physically) on my wedding day, and even worse; it breaks my heart to know that she will never get to know my children nor will they they ever have the benefit of knowing her.  I know that she would have just adored them; and that their lives would have been all the better for having had her in it.  So, needless to say, I was a bit sad; after listening to their conversation and relating my own experiences.  But last night, not only did my cousin Jackie call me; but her Mom and dad did as well; and I felt a kinship that I have honestly, never known.

My aunt and uncle were calling to share some good news that my Uncle had gotten while at the doctor's and I was so touched that they included me.  My aunt told me that my uncle had asked her if they should call me; and she said "Of course.  She's family."  I thanked her sincerely and she told me that they loved me and that they were so happy to be in my life."  

Jackie and I spoke afterwards; and we just chattered and giggled like life long friends; and I'm certain that the smile that was in my heart, was just as big (if not bigger) than the one that was plastered across my face.  Jackie and I discussed possible visits (amongst other things;) and she welcomed my family to come to her home.  Jackie knew that we'd been considering taking a Disney trip and she told me that if we stayed at her house we could just leave very early to get down to Disney.  She then said "and I'm coming with you of course."  To which I replied, "I wouldn't have it any other way."

I'm always very excited after I talk to Jackie; because she makes me feel wanted; in a very different way than Luis and my kids do.  With the absence of my parents and my extended family; I felt very alone for many, many years; and I don't feel that way anymore.  It now seems possible that I can have a connection to the family that I lost; and maybe put some of the pieces of my ancestry back together.  After all, how can you know where you're going, if you don't know where you came from?

Jackie instant messaged me on Facebook tonight, right after I had instant messaged her daughter, Becky.  I was having fabulous chats with both of them, and couldn't help but think to myself that not so long ago, I never could have imagined that this would be possible.  I've said it before, and I'll say it again; sometimes, the universe just gives you what you need.  I waited a REALLY long time, to get what I needed; but maybe the universe knew that  my 43rd year, would be exactly when I needed my family most. 

I am overjoyed and ever so gratified by the love and positive energy that Jackie and her family are bringing into my life.  I can truly say that I am moved beyond words; and for me, that is big! (Say it with me;) HUGE! 

You know, I don't like to be all preachy about certain topics (CERTAIN topics I said;) but I am going to recommend that if you are fortunate enough to have family that make your world a better and safe place for you; give them a great, BIG, hug the next time that you see them; and let them know how blessed you feel to have them in your life; before it's too late.  Also, savor every minute and be grateful for the time you have.
Till next time..

1 comment:

Joni Parker said...

My parents have been here visiting for 3 weeks...they leave tomorrow...(you know after having your lives disrupted for 3 weeks, it's not always sad to see them go-- just so things can get back to "normal"..)... but thanks for the reminder... I needed that today!!