The one thing that I've always been sure of was that I wanted to have children. When I was single, I had promised myself that if I wasn't married by a certain age, I would find a way to have a child on my own, because it was just that important to me. Since Luis and I had such a whirlwind romance, and got married after only knowing each other for a few months; we agreed that we would be married for a few years before we started a family, so that we would have a strong foundation to build upon.
I didn't necessarily want to be an older mom, but between relocating, and the early detection of some pre-cancerous cells; we wound up waiting four years before we attempted to have a baby. We were very fortunate, because as soon as we made the decision to try and conceive, I got pregnant right away. Luis and I were thrilled to find out that we were expecting and despite having morning sickness round the clock for twelve weeks; I was ecstatic.
Early on, I believed that I was having a boy and the ultrasound proved me right. I wanted to name my son after my maternal grandfather Nathan, and since Luis assured me that his family would not pronounce the name Noah properly, we opted for Nicolas. I would talk to Nicky every day and refer to him by name. Even after getting sick, I would rub my stomach and tell him "That's OK Nicky, we're going to be alright;" and I felt a love like none that I'd ever known before.
I remember talking myself through my contractions and saying "just a little while longer and I'm going to see Nicky. Just a little while longer and I'm going to hold Nicky." I was not concerned about the pain or discomfort, because I was so excited about getting to meet my son. And when the nurse placed him in my arms, I cried tears of joy, and I rocked him and said "My Nicky, MY Nicky." And I felt blessed. I felt grateful. I was utterly blissful; as I basked in the warmth of an overwhelming love. What a precious gift from God.
It seems like just yesterday that I gave birth to my beautiful, baby boy; and yet it's now been twelve years. For twelve years I've been privileged to raise the most exceptional boy. A boy that any mom would be so proud to call her own. A boy who is thoughtful and compassionate, sensitive, trustworthy, intelligent, hard working, cooperative, kind, insightful, funny, mature and loving. A boy who is a great big brother, and a wonderful son.
As always, Nicky didn't ask for much for his birthday. He wanted to take a treat to school to share with his class, so I bought him cookies at Sam's Club. He asked to go to PoPo's Fiesta Del Sol for dinner and he requested Red velvet cheesecake (from The Cheesecake Factory), for dessert. And we were more than happy to comply.
Twelve years ago today, I began to fulfill my destiny. From the moment that Nicky was placed in my arms, I knew that I had been right all along and that I was meant to be a mom. Holding Nicky I felt complete for the first time in my life. Oh how Nicky was well worth the wait.
On this his twelfth birthday, I wish Nicky a lifetime of love and happiness. A life filled with joy and fulfillment. I hope that he becomes everything that he wants to be and that he has the courage to follow his every dream. I hope that Nicky will find his passion and lives his life with intention and purpose. I hope that Nicky will be true to himself and respectful of others. I wish Nicky the happiest twelfth birthday ever; and I look forward to watching him grow and develop into the person that he is meant to be.
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING