Friday, January 7, 2011

(43-164) Rubber Bands & Common Sense

This week, I told a Lyndzi story, in "The Princess of Positivity," and a Kelsie story, in "What A Girl!" so last but not least; I DO have a Nicky story.  This was a tough week for Nicky.  On Tuesday he went to the Orthodontist and they put heavier wires on both his top and bottom teeth; and then, as if that wasn't enough to get used to; they gave him rubber bands as well.  The Orthodontist's assistant came out and explained everything to me; and then asked me to come back with her so that she could show me how to put the rubber bands in; if Nicky were to need some help.

I walked over to Nicky, who was still sitting in the Orthodontist's chair; and he looked like he was on the verge of tears.  Nicky was in pain from the heavier wires AND he was frustrated because he was having difficulty putting the rubber bands in.  I assured Nicky that he was going to be fine; and I told him that if he could figure out how to play all the video and computer games that he plays; he can figure out how to put the rubber bands in.  I told him to think of it like a game, as he tried to hook the rubber bands to the 3 brackets; and he rose to the occasion.

Nicky asked to stay home on Wednesday, because he was in so much pain; and I let him.  I totally remembered how miserable I used to feel after I would have my braces tightened, or wires replaced and the addition of rubber bands on top of it, just may have been to much to bear.  I gave Nicky Ibuprofen and bought him some mashed potatoes and a vanilla shake from Culver's and by the time the girls got home from school, Nicky was feeling a little better. 

With Nicky going back to school; I was concerned about him changing his rubber bands after lunch; but he told me that he managed; and I have to say that I am very impressed with how well he's adapted.  Nicky has yet to need my help putting the rubber bands in or taking them out; so maybe my suggestion to think of it as a game, was a good one.

Now, as if the braces adjustment wasn't enough of an inconvenience for one week; Nicky met with another.  On Wednesday night, I discovered that Nicky's Facebook account had been deactivated; and I didn't know why.  We decided that he should wait 24 hours before trying to log into his account, but even after the time elapsed, the account was still inaccessible.  We submitted an inquiry and were advised that they would email his account.  A little while later, Nicky asked Luis and I what the email meant; but as we hadn't read it, we couldn't explain.  Luis asked Nicky if he'd read it; but he hadn't, so Luis instructed him to do so.  Nicky went to go read the email, and when he returned, we asked what it said, but he had deleted it.  WHAT?  I couldn't figure out why in the world he'd delete the email before understanding it, or showing it to Luis and I; and I guess I should say, that not only did he delete it from his inbox; he permanently deleted it; so there was no way for Luis and I to see it and assist him.

Long story short, if I'm being perfectly honest, I suppose you could say that I chastised Nicky for deleting the email and after Nicky went up to bed; Luis called my attention to how hurtful what I said may have been to Nicky.  I went up to see Nicky, because the last thing that I would want to do is hurt him.  I explained that what he had done, showed no common sense; and that it was important to have common sense, because common sense can keep you out of trouble.  I told Nicky that you can have a 4.0, straight A's, and be the smarted person in the world; but without common sense; you could get hurt; both physically and emotionally; and I would hate to see that.
I reviewed what had transpired with the account, and explained why it would have been necessary for us to have seen the email.  Ultimately, I think Nicky understood; and by this morning we were able to re-activate his account.  It turns out, they suspected that it may be a "fake" account, and suggested that Nicky send more friend requests, put more status updates and send messages to friends; in order to be recognized as a genuine account.

I explained this to Nicky, and encouraged him to try and use Facebook more actively.  Now there's a twist.  Most parents of pre-teens probably don't have to prod their kids to use FACEBOOK; but then again, Nicky IS NOT most kids; and I am so grateful for that.  Nicky is a kind, thoughtful, sensitive, caring, young man.  He is hard working, diligent and wise; so when he doesn't use the good sense that he was given; I find it frustrating and disappointing.  I never want anything bad to happen to Nicky (or any of my children, ) but I have to insure that if something bad did happen; they wouldn't fall apart and they would be able to rely on their common sense to know how to handle the situation.

I know that sometimes, it may seem that I'm very strict; but the truth of the matter is; I lost both of my parents before they were done teaching me a lot of valuable lessons; so since we never know how much time we're going to have; I try not to miss an opportunity to teach my children something.    Nicky has learned some very important lessons this week, and I think that he'll be all the better for them.  He'll get there; I know he will!
Till Next time...

1 comment:

Joni Parker said...

Joseph has just started the Ortho I'm sure I'll feel your pain in a few years. Nicky is a good boy & will make a fine young man & a wonderful husband.