Wednesday, January 19, 2011

(43-176) I Choose Happiness

I know myelf extremely  well.  I recognize my strengths; and I'm uniquely, well aware of my weaknesses; which is why I can admit, that I am The Queen of GRIPES.  It's not that I like to complain; it's just that, although I'm a patient person; I am also very easily annoyed.   To give you some insight into my frequent griping; I'll share this tidbit.  I think that I am prone to gripe because in any instance that I feel as if myself or my loved ones are being cheated out of something; my defenses flare up.  I believe this stems from feeling cheated out of having my parents; and all that would entail.  I know, HEAVY for a Wednesday night blog; but you know me, I'm the Queen of FAIRNESS, even at my own expense;  and I'm just trying to give you an honest assessment.

Now, with this being said; I can tell you that I DON'T enjoy griping. I wish that I never griped.  I would love for things to be able to flow off my back, and I wish that things didn't bother me as easily or as often as they do; but old habits die hard and history and baggage can be very difficult to overcome.  Nonetheless; I realized today, that this is exactly what I need to do. 

Earlier today I had a lengthy conversation with (SMF) Big Mike; the director of our soccer board.  Part of our conversation was about our upcoming tournament, and he shared some information that disturbed me; because I found the decision to be very unfair to the children. Rather than be so vague, let me take a minute to explain.  Every year we have a two day tournament at the end of the soccer season; and we always have it at a location, other than where we play regularly.  Additionally, the tournament starts on Friday evening, so that the kids get the opportunity to play at night, under lights; and everyone seems to find this pretty exciting; kids and parents alike.  Well today Mike told me that the teams that are in first place for U-8 (Kelsie's division and team as luck would have it,) and U-10 (Lyndzi's division and team, as luck would have it;) are NOT going to play on Friday night; and instead, they will play a double header on SaturDAY.  I objected; and explained that I thought that it was unfair that the teams who had done the best all season, were going to be deprived of an experience that we were supposed to be giving to everyone.  Mike fully agreed, but said that others were doing the planning and it just seemed like this was the way it was going to have to be.

OK, now let me stop you; and say I KNOW, this is NOT a big deal, in the big scheme of things.  I KNOW that there are A LOT worse things going on in the world right now; and I'm not saying that this occurrence even merits being discussed; BUT it is a turning point for me; which is why I'm exposing myself and my thoughts in this way.  I was contemplating the situation later in the day, and I decided that I would blog about it. I also knew that I had to STOP!  Instead of being annoyed that my girls were being short changed; I needed to be grateful that I had healthy girls who COULD play soccer.   I needed to be thankful that I could still afford for my kids to play soccer; and I needed to realize that no one will be any worse the wear, even if they are disappointed.  I decided that I wanted to and HAD to choose happiness; and in doing so, I had to let go of these petty annoyances; and just go with the flow.  Whatever it is; it is.  Now, this is not to say that I am always going to accept whatever hand I'm dealt; because I do think that I have the ability to effect change; BUT, it means that if I haven't succeeded in my quest; I have to accept it, and choose to be happy despite it; rather than tell everyone I know about my latest pitfall.

So there you have it.  My lesson of the day; I CHOOSE HAPPINESS!
Till next time...
Queen of EVERYTHING                                                         

1 comment:

Joni Parker said...

As I was reading the first half, you could have just put my name everywhere in place of yours!!! And good for you...I don't know if I'd have been able to "take it" layout down... no matter how insignificant.. (see just like the first half)